I went to the band doctor yesterday, my monthy check up and fill. The doctor told me he wouldn't give me a fill. I asked him for just a little top off and he said nope, I don't need it. I went after lunch so my weight was up a couple of pounds from what it was that morning, but I was still down 5 pounds. He told me I was his ideal patient and said he wished everyone was as motivated as I was. He told me that there was a younger girl that was in before me that had only lost 4 pounds in 3 months and he really wished he would have had her stick around so I could talk to her. I really don't understand going through the pain and expensive of the surgery if you aren't going to use it, but whatever.
He literally paraded me around his office showing me off, telling everyone I was his star patient and that I was going to run a half marathon in March. I told him I would be his spokes "model" if he would give me a free tummy tuck, even pose in a bikini. He laughed and said he would totally work out a deal for me, couldn't do it for free because of the facility fees and stuff but he would make me a hell of a deal. We are supposed to talk about it more when I go back in January.
So after I left the doctor I started thinking that I still feel fat, I know I am not 180 pounds anymore but I haven't had that aha moment where I feel healthy and good about myself. So on the way home from the doctor I stopped and ordered cheese sticks and a root beer from Sonic. I ate maybe 2 and a half of the cheese sticks, didn't drink much of the soda (it hurts to drink most times). Not even 3 hours later Dennis wanted to go to dinner so I ate 3/4 of a burritto. I felt horrible.
When I woke up this morning I thought I deserve whatever the scale gives me this morning and I will take whatever it says and move on.
140.8 - a 1.8 pound loss. That I didn't deserve. Go figure.
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
to fill or not to fill
I have an appointment to see the band doctor today at 2:30. I can't for the life of me remember what I weighed when I went in last time but I am pretty sure it was around 149; today I am at 142. I have been stuck at that number for almost a week and it is driving me crazy.
So, do I fill or not? I am training for Little Rock Half marathon March 6, OKC half marathon April 29, and Flying Pig May 6. I need to be able to fuel my body. However, I have been sucking down Gu before I run and it is doing the trick. I guess it really isn't up to me anyway, it is in Dr. Atkins hands.
We are trying to decide what we are going to do for New Years. If we do anything I will run in a 5K called Race in the New Year. It starts at 11:45 and lets you literally run in the new year with fireworks and two champaign stops (I'll pass this year). Dennis won't run it but there is a huge tent at the start finish and he will hang out until I finish and then we will hang out with our running friends. We didn't do it last year because I was in the I'm fat and can't run funk but the two years before that we went and had fun even though it was like 9 degrees. This year is supposed to have highs in the 60's, lows around 40. Can't get much better then that. But I am not a night person and sleeping sounds kind of good too. I have a 6 or 7 miler scheduled Saturday morning. I probably won't decide until that day.
So, do I fill or not? I am training for Little Rock Half marathon March 6, OKC half marathon April 29, and Flying Pig May 6. I need to be able to fuel my body. However, I have been sucking down Gu before I run and it is doing the trick. I guess it really isn't up to me anyway, it is in Dr. Atkins hands.
We are trying to decide what we are going to do for New Years. If we do anything I will run in a 5K called Race in the New Year. It starts at 11:45 and lets you literally run in the new year with fireworks and two champaign stops (I'll pass this year). Dennis won't run it but there is a huge tent at the start finish and he will hang out until I finish and then we will hang out with our running friends. We didn't do it last year because I was in the I'm fat and can't run funk but the two years before that we went and had fun even though it was like 9 degrees. This year is supposed to have highs in the 60's, lows around 40. Can't get much better then that. But I am not a night person and sleeping sounds kind of good too. I have a 6 or 7 miler scheduled Saturday morning. I probably won't decide until that day.
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Christmas recap
First off, I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas. I know I did, and really appreciated yesterday where it was just the two of us again. I love our family but crap some times there is just too much of a good thing.
Some NSV - Dennis' oldest sister lives in DFW area and I hadn't seen her since her wedding in Florida over Easter weekend. She flipped out when she saw me, told me I looked amazing and asked me how I did it (I wasn't 100% forthcoming). One of the gifts she gave us was a picture of Dennis and I at the wedding. I looked horrible, like the dress was two sized to small for me but I wouldn't admit to myself I needed that size 16.
Yesterday we went to Old Navy to take advantage of the $15 jean sale. I need some skinny jeans to wear with my Uggs and boots. That place was trashed. I looked all over for an 8 skinny but there were none to be found. I finally decided, screw it try on a 6, what is the worse that can happen....you put them up and dig throught the pile of jeans at the dressing room for the 8 you need. Well hot damn if I am not sitting here typing this in a pair of size 6 jeans!!! Are they a little tight? yes, but they are stretchy and they will loosen up. I know the jeans at Old Navy run a little big but I am still going to take this and run with it, lol.
I did have a lot of problems eating Christmas Day. Everything I ate at my parents house came back up. It was really upsetting. I am not sure what caused it either. It was kind of upsetting because I look forward to that meal all year long. Needless to say I had no weight gain over the holidays.
Some NSV - Dennis' oldest sister lives in DFW area and I hadn't seen her since her wedding in Florida over Easter weekend. She flipped out when she saw me, told me I looked amazing and asked me how I did it (I wasn't 100% forthcoming). One of the gifts she gave us was a picture of Dennis and I at the wedding. I looked horrible, like the dress was two sized to small for me but I wouldn't admit to myself I needed that size 16.
Yesterday we went to Old Navy to take advantage of the $15 jean sale. I need some skinny jeans to wear with my Uggs and boots. That place was trashed. I looked all over for an 8 skinny but there were none to be found. I finally decided, screw it try on a 6, what is the worse that can happen....you put them up and dig throught the pile of jeans at the dressing room for the 8 you need. Well hot damn if I am not sitting here typing this in a pair of size 6 jeans!!! Are they a little tight? yes, but they are stretchy and they will loosen up. I know the jeans at Old Navy run a little big but I am still going to take this and run with it, lol.
I did have a lot of problems eating Christmas Day. Everything I ate at my parents house came back up. It was really upsetting. I am not sure what caused it either. It was kind of upsetting because I look forward to that meal all year long. Needless to say I had no weight gain over the holidays.
Thursday, December 22, 2011
MIA
I didn't realize how long I have been gone.
I went to the doctor yesterday for a general check-up to renew one of my medications. She told me that she hardly recognized me. She also told me that my goal of 20 more pounds may not be sustainable and not to get frustrated. According to her, she is shorter than me and only weighs 15 pounds less. I promised her I wouldn't get obsessive about it.
She also got on to me for not wearing my HRM when I run. I have a slight heart condition that causes my heart rate to get up into the 200's during exercise. I was on medication to regulate it but the medication is what started my weight gain and it makes me feel "lazy". I had a gazillion tests done with the cardiologist and my heart is healthy, just a little fast. The cardiologist said if I start passing out when it gets to high we will have to revisit medication. Back to my point. If my heart rate gets over 200 while I run I have to take a walk break. I do 1 minute run 1 minute walk intervals to try to keep it under control but she wants me to start documenting it. My handy dandy little Garmin will chart it all and I have to bring it in next time I see her. However, my pulse was 55 when I saw her so maybe it is getting better with the weight loss?
My weight loss has kind of stalled a little, I blame December. I am at 143.6 on my home scale, the doctor scale had me a little less (fully clothed I might add). I am pretty sure I was at 149 when I went for my last fill.
Another thing, I have talked about with Dennis and with my regular doctor and they don't want me to get another fill until May. I am signed up to do the Little Rock half marathon in March; I am doing OKC with my friend from work the last weekend in April and I hope Flying Pig the weekend after that. They are afraid I will not be able to fuel well enough if I keep getting fills. I understand where they are coming from but dang it I only have 20 pounds to go!! I don't want to slow down now. Is this the obsessive my doctor was talking about?
In Christmas news, all the presents are bought and would have been wrapped last night if I hadn't ran out of tape. I am pretty sure I am getting a Kindle Fire from Dennis, I can't wait for that.
I finally felt the emotional vice grip of the band last night. My older sister called around noon Tuesday and said that her Neapolitan Mastiff, Fiona had collapsed and they had to rush her to the vet. Fiona is a very rare breed, but my sister found and adopted her from a local animal shelter. She was able to trace her back to the original breeder, who offered to buy her back, but my sister told her no way since she obviously sold her to someone who would dump her at a kill shelter. But I digress. I was with my sister when she got Fiona, I named her after the Shrek character because she looks and acts like a big beautiful ogre. When they got to the vet she was completely blind, which was a sudden onset, and was having seizures several times a day. They decided she had some kind of cancer (I didn't ask what type). While we were eating dinner yesterday my sister sent me a text and told me the vet gave Fi 6-8 months to live if they did aggressive chemo. They didn't know if she would ever get her eyesight back. So they decided to put her down. Everything that I had eaten that hadn't passed through the band came up almost immediately. I had never felt anything like that. I puked, cried a lot and felt better. I know they did the right thing. In the middle of my little melt down Dennis asked me if I would feel better if he gave me my Christmas present early....which leads me to believe it is the Fire because it is the only thing I know that he knows might make me feel better.
I can't wait for Christmas!!
I went to the doctor yesterday for a general check-up to renew one of my medications. She told me that she hardly recognized me. She also told me that my goal of 20 more pounds may not be sustainable and not to get frustrated. According to her, she is shorter than me and only weighs 15 pounds less. I promised her I wouldn't get obsessive about it.
She also got on to me for not wearing my HRM when I run. I have a slight heart condition that causes my heart rate to get up into the 200's during exercise. I was on medication to regulate it but the medication is what started my weight gain and it makes me feel "lazy". I had a gazillion tests done with the cardiologist and my heart is healthy, just a little fast. The cardiologist said if I start passing out when it gets to high we will have to revisit medication. Back to my point. If my heart rate gets over 200 while I run I have to take a walk break. I do 1 minute run 1 minute walk intervals to try to keep it under control but she wants me to start documenting it. My handy dandy little Garmin will chart it all and I have to bring it in next time I see her. However, my pulse was 55 when I saw her so maybe it is getting better with the weight loss?
My weight loss has kind of stalled a little, I blame December. I am at 143.6 on my home scale, the doctor scale had me a little less (fully clothed I might add). I am pretty sure I was at 149 when I went for my last fill.
Another thing, I have talked about with Dennis and with my regular doctor and they don't want me to get another fill until May. I am signed up to do the Little Rock half marathon in March; I am doing OKC with my friend from work the last weekend in April and I hope Flying Pig the weekend after that. They are afraid I will not be able to fuel well enough if I keep getting fills. I understand where they are coming from but dang it I only have 20 pounds to go!! I don't want to slow down now. Is this the obsessive my doctor was talking about?
In Christmas news, all the presents are bought and would have been wrapped last night if I hadn't ran out of tape. I am pretty sure I am getting a Kindle Fire from Dennis, I can't wait for that.
I finally felt the emotional vice grip of the band last night. My older sister called around noon Tuesday and said that her Neapolitan Mastiff, Fiona had collapsed and they had to rush her to the vet. Fiona is a very rare breed, but my sister found and adopted her from a local animal shelter. She was able to trace her back to the original breeder, who offered to buy her back, but my sister told her no way since she obviously sold her to someone who would dump her at a kill shelter. But I digress. I was with my sister when she got Fiona, I named her after the Shrek character because she looks and acts like a big beautiful ogre. When they got to the vet she was completely blind, which was a sudden onset, and was having seizures several times a day. They decided she had some kind of cancer (I didn't ask what type). While we were eating dinner yesterday my sister sent me a text and told me the vet gave Fi 6-8 months to live if they did aggressive chemo. They didn't know if she would ever get her eyesight back. So they decided to put her down. Everything that I had eaten that hadn't passed through the band came up almost immediately. I had never felt anything like that. I puked, cried a lot and felt better. I know they did the right thing. In the middle of my little melt down Dennis asked me if I would feel better if he gave me my Christmas present early....which leads me to believe it is the Fire because it is the only thing I know that he knows might make me feel better.
I can't wait for Christmas!!
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
nothing much
My new gym opens December 19!! Just in time to not go until after the holiday, lol.
I got nothing today.... ran with a friend last night. Didn't plan on going very far but it was cold and drizzly and perfet for running so we ended up going 5 miles. It was great until one section on the trail that was straight into the north wind. That hurt and we walked for a few minutes. I think I have her talked into doing the LR Half with me. She is a fast little girl so I hate to have her run her first half with me and not have her do her best. She is only 14 so I will talk to her mom and see what she thinks. It was so cute last night though because the mom sent me a message at 4:30 asking if I was going to make it. I told her I would be there and she said great now Jessica will leave me alone, she has been asking me all day if she knew if Terrie was going to be at run group. She is a sweet kid.
Not sure what is on tap for exercise tonight. Maybe a short run, like 2 miles through my hood before it gets dark....
I got nothing today.... ran with a friend last night. Didn't plan on going very far but it was cold and drizzly and perfet for running so we ended up going 5 miles. It was great until one section on the trail that was straight into the north wind. That hurt and we walked for a few minutes. I think I have her talked into doing the LR Half with me. She is a fast little girl so I hate to have her run her first half with me and not have her do her best. She is only 14 so I will talk to her mom and see what she thinks. It was so cute last night though because the mom sent me a message at 4:30 asking if I was going to make it. I told her I would be there and she said great now Jessica will leave me alone, she has been asking me all day if she knew if Terrie was going to be at run group. She is a sweet kid.
Not sure what is on tap for exercise tonight. Maybe a short run, like 2 miles through my hood before it gets dark....
Monday, December 12, 2011
Monday catch up
I was so excited to get my secret santa gift over the weekend!!! I got a running jacket and a camelback waterbottle. It is so me that at first I thought I had ordered it while I was sick (more on that later) before I saw the note. Love Love Love it!!! Can't wait to use them tonight with my running group!!
I ended up getting sick last week for the first time since my surgery. I was at work and told my boss I wasn't feeling well and probably needed to go home. I work on the third floor and made it to the 1st floor restroom before I started throwing up. I mean really throwing up, not over eat throwing up. Funny how I can tell the difference. I was really worried about my band so I called my regular doctor and she was booked up, they told me to go to urgent care. I called my band doctor and he was in surgery. I still had some of the anti puke medicine from when I had my surgery so I just went home and used that and laid down. I slept for 4 hours. When I woke up I tried to eat a little something and threw up again but not as bad as the first time. Took more meds and slept for the night. I ended up taking two days off work but probably would have been ok to go back the next day. My stomach was just so sore.
My weight is kind of holding steady at 145. I got down to 144 after the puke fest but didn't expect it to last. I am so ready for my new gym to open!! They said it would be ready the end of this month but I haven't seen any messages showing an opening date yet. I didn't run at all last week because of the illness so I am really looking forward to getting out there tonight. I am pretty sure I am going to sign up for the Little Rock half marathon in March. Lord help me and my shins with those hills!!!
I ended up getting sick last week for the first time since my surgery. I was at work and told my boss I wasn't feeling well and probably needed to go home. I work on the third floor and made it to the 1st floor restroom before I started throwing up. I mean really throwing up, not over eat throwing up. Funny how I can tell the difference. I was really worried about my band so I called my regular doctor and she was booked up, they told me to go to urgent care. I called my band doctor and he was in surgery. I still had some of the anti puke medicine from when I had my surgery so I just went home and used that and laid down. I slept for 4 hours. When I woke up I tried to eat a little something and threw up again but not as bad as the first time. Took more meds and slept for the night. I ended up taking two days off work but probably would have been ok to go back the next day. My stomach was just so sore.
My weight is kind of holding steady at 145. I got down to 144 after the puke fest but didn't expect it to last. I am so ready for my new gym to open!! They said it would be ready the end of this month but I haven't seen any messages showing an opening date yet. I didn't run at all last week because of the illness so I am really looking forward to getting out there tonight. I am pretty sure I am going to sign up for the Little Rock half marathon in March. Lord help me and my shins with those hills!!!
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
secret santa
I signed up for this but never have heard back from anyone. Does anyone know what happened?
Monday, December 5, 2011
Tight band
I did go back to the doctor on Friday to make sure my band wasn't flip flopped around in my belly. It was fine, just painful from the digging the doctor did to get the needle in the right place. It was the worst fill so far as far as pain goes. I am very tight right now. I am able to swallow my medication so I know there is enough room, I just really have to take things easy and think before I put things in my mouth and or swallow them. I am down to 145, 4 pounds less than when I had my fill on Wednesday.
I went to the Will (goodwill) on Saturday and bought some transition work clothes to get me through. I bought mostly 10's but I probably should have bought 8's in dress slacks. I just don't feel like I should be wearing 8's yet...does that even make sense? I ended up buying 6 pairs of work pants, most with the tag still on them. You can't go wrong paying $2.50 for brand new Ann Taylor and Gap pants!!!
Yesterday I made my mom go shopping with me. She had shoulder surgery a few weeks ago and hasn't gotten out of the house much. My mom doesn't know about my surgery because she is a gossip. So when we went out to eat lunch she threw a fit because I wasn't eating enough. We met up with my little sister later (who does know about the band) and she told me that I had to tell my mom something or she is going to start to think I have something wrong with me. It is kind of funny because my mom has always been really competative with me on weight and hasn't said a word about me losing. I am not sure how I am going to approach this.
I went to the Will (goodwill) on Saturday and bought some transition work clothes to get me through. I bought mostly 10's but I probably should have bought 8's in dress slacks. I just don't feel like I should be wearing 8's yet...does that even make sense? I ended up buying 6 pairs of work pants, most with the tag still on them. You can't go wrong paying $2.50 for brand new Ann Taylor and Gap pants!!!
Yesterday I made my mom go shopping with me. She had shoulder surgery a few weeks ago and hasn't gotten out of the house much. My mom doesn't know about my surgery because she is a gossip. So when we went out to eat lunch she threw a fit because I wasn't eating enough. We met up with my little sister later (who does know about the band) and she told me that I had to tell my mom something or she is going to start to think I have something wrong with me. It is kind of funny because my mom has always been really competative with me on weight and hasn't said a word about me losing. I am not sure how I am going to approach this.
Friday, December 2, 2011
ouch
I am having a lot of pain in my port site today. I am going to go back by the doctor to make sure nothing is wrong. I'm also going to get some pain medication.
In better news I am now officially down 30 pounds!!!
Much better!! 20 (or 25) more pounds to go!
In better news I am now officially down 30 pounds!!!
This picture was taken right before I started my liquid diet
Thursday, December 1, 2011
fill number 5
Yesterday's doctor appointment went well. I lost a little over 8 pounds last month; the most I have in one month since having the band. I really didn't think I would get a fill because of it but he ended up giving me .5mL. I am taking things VERY easy to give myself time to adjust. I was able to take my vitamins so I am pretty sure it will be fine if I take things very slow. The doctor seems to think I will be down to my goal in 3 months. We shall see.
I never kept track of my fills like most people so looking back....
1st fill 2mL
2nd fill 2mL
3rd fill .25mL
4th fill .4mL
5th fill .5mL
So I am up to 5.15mL's in my band. He told me he didn't forsee me needing much more.
The people at the doctor's office were a huge ego boost telling me how much different I look, funny how you don't see it yourself.
Here's to a PB free day!!
I never kept track of my fills like most people so looking back....
1st fill 2mL
2nd fill 2mL
3rd fill .25mL
4th fill .4mL
5th fill .5mL
So I am up to 5.15mL's in my band. He told me he didn't forsee me needing much more.
The people at the doctor's office were a huge ego boost telling me how much different I look, funny how you don't see it yourself.
Here's to a PB free day!!
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
progress pictures
Go to the doctor today for another fill. My weight was 148 so I am not sure if I will get one.
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
wake up call
Saw this on a friends blog yesterday and it kind of felt like they were talking to me
When things seem to be at their worst is the ideal time for you to be at your best. When the outlook is decidedly negative that's the time you need to be aggressively positive.
When the situation is difficult and getting worse, there's no need to deny reality or hide from the truth. Neither is there any need, however, to get pulled down with the negativity.
The greatest opportunities come from the most difficult problems. In times of great challenge, moving positively forward -- even if by just a little bit -- can dramatically alter the momentum for the better. And then that momentum can grow quickly.
Keep going. Keep moving steadily forward, especially when circumstances seem to be working against you. Remember -- that's when you can make the most meaningful positive difference.
Copyright Ralph S. Marston, Jr. Used by permission. From The Daily Motivator® at www.dailymotivator.com
When things seem to be at their worst is the ideal time for you to be at your best. When the outlook is decidedly negative that's the time you need to be aggressively positive.
When the situation is difficult and getting worse, there's no need to deny reality or hide from the truth. Neither is there any need, however, to get pulled down with the negativity.
The greatest opportunities come from the most difficult problems. In times of great challenge, moving positively forward -- even if by just a little bit -- can dramatically alter the momentum for the better. And then that momentum can grow quickly.
Keep going. Keep moving steadily forward, especially when circumstances seem to be working against you. Remember -- that's when you can make the most meaningful positive difference.
Copyright Ralph S. Marston, Jr. Used by permission. From The Daily Motivator® at www.dailymotivator.com
Monday, November 28, 2011
OK
So maybe I am just feeling sorry for myself and having some of the "honeymoon is over" feelings towards my band.
My surgery was 5 months ago and I have only lost 26.8 pounds, a lot of people have lost that in the first month!! I really need to focus on the fact that I have lost just under 27 pounds regardless of what other people do. I ran the marathon relay with my friends in miserable weather and we came in under 7 hours and I did my first 5K in years and came in at 45:26. I should have been pleased with the time but I was just kind of defeated that I never seem to get faster.
I need to just get over myself.
My surgery was 5 months ago and I have only lost 26.8 pounds, a lot of people have lost that in the first month!! I really need to focus on the fact that I have lost just under 27 pounds regardless of what other people do. I ran the marathon relay with my friends in miserable weather and we came in under 7 hours and I did my first 5K in years and came in at 45:26. I should have been pleased with the time but I was just kind of defeated that I never seem to get faster.
I need to just get over myself.
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Is this normal?
I have been getting a stabbing pain right at my port. It doesn't seem to be associated with anything, just random pain. I am going to the doctor on the 30th and I will talk to him about it then.
Sunday, November 13, 2011
lazy daz
Despite the eating frenzy over my birthday, my weight has remained steady at 154. Even though I feel like I ate like a pig I know it was a fraction of what I normally would have eaten.
I really don't have a lot going on right now. I finally wo-maned up and changed gyms. I still had a few sessions left with the trainer at the old gym but after the torn hamstring and the lack of knowledge he demonstrated regarding it I decided it wasn't worth it for my health. The new gym hasn't opened yet but once it does it is more than twice what I am currently paying. There is not contract and they have a couple of group classes that I am really looking forward to. One of them is a TRX class the other one is call Skyline, this is the description from the website.
Strapped for time or just like the motivation and pace of a structured workout? Then SkyLine is right for you.
Our 27-minute, full-body circuit workout will increase lean muscle mass and improve cardiovascular endurance. Using a different exercise during each 1 minute interval, SkyLine incorporates strength machines with cardio and core training activities. One of our Private Trainers will guide you along the way and ensure that the workout changes from day to day to keep it new and interesting.
No matter what your current fitness level, you’ll benefit from this heart pumping and fun workout.
SkyLine is included in your membership.
Supervised Hours
The SkyLine circuit will be supervised by one of our skilled Private Trainers during posted hours.
1-Minute Intervals
Green – 40 seconds – Begin working at the designated station
Yellow – 5 seconds – Push extra hard for the last few seconds
Red – 15 seconds – Stop and move to the next station
Until then I will run on my own, well really with my running group but without the aid of the trainer. A week from today is the marathon. I am really looking forward to the relay and I hope I don't let my team down.
Motivation is super low right now. I ran 7 miles last weekend but all I have done since then is walk about a mile to liberate a turtle in a nearby field. I blame it on the new Stephen King book I am reading; 11/23/63. I am going to run tomorrow night with the group though. I hope our relay team shirts are in.
I really don't have a lot going on right now. I finally wo-maned up and changed gyms. I still had a few sessions left with the trainer at the old gym but after the torn hamstring and the lack of knowledge he demonstrated regarding it I decided it wasn't worth it for my health. The new gym hasn't opened yet but once it does it is more than twice what I am currently paying. There is not contract and they have a couple of group classes that I am really looking forward to. One of them is a TRX class the other one is call Skyline, this is the description from the website.
Strapped for time or just like the motivation and pace of a structured workout? Then SkyLine is right for you.
Our 27-minute, full-body circuit workout will increase lean muscle mass and improve cardiovascular endurance. Using a different exercise during each 1 minute interval, SkyLine incorporates strength machines with cardio and core training activities. One of our Private Trainers will guide you along the way and ensure that the workout changes from day to day to keep it new and interesting.
No matter what your current fitness level, you’ll benefit from this heart pumping and fun workout.
SkyLine is included in your membership.
Supervised Hours
The SkyLine circuit will be supervised by one of our skilled Private Trainers during posted hours.
1-Minute Intervals
Green – 40 seconds – Begin working at the designated station
Yellow – 5 seconds – Push extra hard for the last few seconds
Red – 15 seconds – Stop and move to the next station
Until then I will run on my own, well really with my running group but without the aid of the trainer. A week from today is the marathon. I am really looking forward to the relay and I hope I don't let my team down.
Motivation is super low right now. I ran 7 miles last weekend but all I have done since then is walk about a mile to liberate a turtle in a nearby field. I blame it on the new Stephen King book I am reading; 11/23/63. I am going to run tomorrow night with the group though. I hope our relay team shirts are in.
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
I feel so special!!
Today rocks, despite the fact that I am at work.
I thought my 40th birthday would be horrible but my friends are making it a great day. I had dinner last night with my family and a group of my running friends, I think there were about 30 of us there, enough that nobody really noticed that I hadn't eaten much. We even had an earthquake while we were there which added to the excitement. I got to wear my new designer Miss Me jeans that my BFF got me for an early b-day present since she is out of town; size 30!! I was also given a running pull-over from another friend that is a small and I wasn't even worried about it fitting, and yes it does fit.
Today has been awesome even if I am 40. I am wearing the pull over I got last night and my goal jeans, the True Religion jeans I bought two years ago but were too small by the time I picked them up from having them hemmed. They still had the tags on them until this morning.
My work BFF is giving me a present every hour, which is kind of fun. She brought me a birthday "cake" make of flowers. She knows about my surgery and said that it was my calorie free cake. I know I am going to have to do some work at some point today, but for now I am enjoying being pampered, lol.
Weight was 154.4, we will see how it goes after this day of endulgance!!
I thought my 40th birthday would be horrible but my friends are making it a great day. I had dinner last night with my family and a group of my running friends, I think there were about 30 of us there, enough that nobody really noticed that I hadn't eaten much. We even had an earthquake while we were there which added to the excitement. I got to wear my new designer Miss Me jeans that my BFF got me for an early b-day present since she is out of town; size 30!! I was also given a running pull-over from another friend that is a small and I wasn't even worried about it fitting, and yes it does fit.
Today has been awesome even if I am 40. I am wearing the pull over I got last night and my goal jeans, the True Religion jeans I bought two years ago but were too small by the time I picked them up from having them hemmed. They still had the tags on them until this morning.
My work BFF is giving me a present every hour, which is kind of fun. She brought me a birthday "cake" make of flowers. She knows about my surgery and said that it was my calorie free cake. I know I am going to have to do some work at some point today, but for now I am enjoying being pampered, lol.
Weight was 154.4, we will see how it goes after this day of endulgance!!
Thursday, November 3, 2011
old age creeping up
OMG it literally just hit me that this will be my last weekend in my 30's. What a sad thought.
old age creeping up
OMG it literally just hit me that this will be my last weekend in my 30's. What a sad thought.
shrinking
Down to 155.6 this morning. BMI 27.6, so close to a "healthy" BMI. Things have changed so much since the last day of June.
Once upon a time I used to be a runner, even ran a marathon (big mistake). As the weight piled on running got harder and harder so I eventually just quit. I have been running a little; between injuries it seems, lately and decided I would join my running friends and do the 5K that is held in conjunction with a marathon here in town. I some how rationalized that if I could do a 5K I could enlist a few friends and do a leg of the marathon relay. So instead of 3.2 miles I am going to be running 5. This could be interesting since I have only kind of ran in the last year or so. I hope I don't let everyone on my team down. I seriously got to get off my a$$ and hit the trail.
I made a decision the other day about my gym and the trainer that I now hate. I took my geriatric dog in for acupuncture and talked to his vet for awhile. She told me I really needed to find a gym with a pool so when/if I do get injured I am not just out. I have maybe 6 sessions left with the trainer but have been out of contract for a long time. I have been looking around to see what I can find. I am going to call the old gym today and tell them that I want out of my contract. There are several places to choose from, but I think I will probably join Gold's. It is newer, has a pool and a cardio theater, and isn't too far from my house. Trainer is going to be pissed but I am so over him. Not to mention I need to concentrate on running until Thanksgiving.
Better get to work I guess. I am having my allergies retested next week so I am off all my allergy meds and I feel like crap. I also feel like my body is detoxing from the meds, I am just in a fog.
Once upon a time I used to be a runner, even ran a marathon (big mistake). As the weight piled on running got harder and harder so I eventually just quit. I have been running a little; between injuries it seems, lately and decided I would join my running friends and do the 5K that is held in conjunction with a marathon here in town. I some how rationalized that if I could do a 5K I could enlist a few friends and do a leg of the marathon relay. So instead of 3.2 miles I am going to be running 5. This could be interesting since I have only kind of ran in the last year or so. I hope I don't let everyone on my team down. I seriously got to get off my a$$ and hit the trail.
I made a decision the other day about my gym and the trainer that I now hate. I took my geriatric dog in for acupuncture and talked to his vet for awhile. She told me I really needed to find a gym with a pool so when/if I do get injured I am not just out. I have maybe 6 sessions left with the trainer but have been out of contract for a long time. I have been looking around to see what I can find. I am going to call the old gym today and tell them that I want out of my contract. There are several places to choose from, but I think I will probably join Gold's. It is newer, has a pool and a cardio theater, and isn't too far from my house. Trainer is going to be pissed but I am so over him. Not to mention I need to concentrate on running until Thanksgiving.
Better get to work I guess. I am having my allergies retested next week so I am off all my allergy meds and I feel like crap. I also feel like my body is detoxing from the meds, I am just in a fog.
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
The day after
I got a .4ml fill yesterday. Dr. was going to give me more but he said he felt some pressure at .4 so he decided that was probably my limit. I am not up to 4.6ml. I was kind of upset because I only lost 4 pounds since my last visit. The doctor said that I am on target and to stop stressing out. The torn hamstring and the 3 weeks of rest probably didn't help at all.
My doctor made a comment while I was there yesterday that kind of creeped me out. He is a pretty laid back guy, looks like an overgrown frat boy. Some say he is really good looking but I am not really attracted to the overgrown frat boy type. Anyway, while I was in the room he asked me how I had been eating. After we went through that he told me that he sent his girlfriend a text message off of Yahoo that said you could live up to 14 years longer if you eat healthy, he was going to start eating like her because she was such a healthy eater. Then he said he sent her another one that said you live up to 8 years longer if you have sex X times a week. I was just kind of like WTF? I asked him if she said 14 years was enough and he said oh no she said lets try it out. Gross. I don't want to hear about him and his overgrown Barbie doll girlfriend. I just blew it off. I figure he thinks I am way more progressive than I really am.
Today is moving day at work. I have finally worked my way up to the corner "senior" office. I got to wear work clothes which just so happens to be size 10 jeans and a medium t-shirt!!! Now that makes me happy!!
I go back to the gym tonight, not so sure how that is going to go since I pretty much dislike my trainer. I only have 6 sessions left though and it isn't worth causing a bunch of trouble and making me uncomfortable. I am going to concentrate on running again once those sessions are over. My contract is up for that gym and if I can find a good deal I will change gyms completely. I want to join a new gym that is opening around Christmas but they are charging $50 a month. Not going to do that at all. There is always Gold's. The reason I stayed with the one I am at is because they are owned by a bone and joint clinic and their physical therapists work out of the gym. Obviously that did me no good if my trainer won't acknowledge a seriously injury.
OK, better get to moving, I am supposed to have my computer moved after lunch so I have a lot of work to do.
My doctor made a comment while I was there yesterday that kind of creeped me out. He is a pretty laid back guy, looks like an overgrown frat boy. Some say he is really good looking but I am not really attracted to the overgrown frat boy type. Anyway, while I was in the room he asked me how I had been eating. After we went through that he told me that he sent his girlfriend a text message off of Yahoo that said you could live up to 14 years longer if you eat healthy, he was going to start eating like her because she was such a healthy eater. Then he said he sent her another one that said you live up to 8 years longer if you have sex X times a week. I was just kind of like WTF? I asked him if she said 14 years was enough and he said oh no she said lets try it out. Gross. I don't want to hear about him and his overgrown Barbie doll girlfriend. I just blew it off. I figure he thinks I am way more progressive than I really am.
Today is moving day at work. I have finally worked my way up to the corner "senior" office. I got to wear work clothes which just so happens to be size 10 jeans and a medium t-shirt!!! Now that makes me happy!!
I go back to the gym tonight, not so sure how that is going to go since I pretty much dislike my trainer. I only have 6 sessions left though and it isn't worth causing a bunch of trouble and making me uncomfortable. I am going to concentrate on running again once those sessions are over. My contract is up for that gym and if I can find a good deal I will change gyms completely. I want to join a new gym that is opening around Christmas but they are charging $50 a month. Not going to do that at all. There is always Gold's. The reason I stayed with the one I am at is because they are owned by a bone and joint clinic and their physical therapists work out of the gym. Obviously that did me no good if my trainer won't acknowledge a seriously injury.
OK, better get to moving, I am supposed to have my computer moved after lunch so I have a lot of work to do.
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
one day at a time
My weight was way freaking up again today for some reason. Seriously I have no clue what is going on. The fill monday is looking better and better.
I go back to the doctor for my leg today. It is much better. Last night we went for a short walk around the neighborhood and had no pain at all; this morning it was just a little stiff. I figure that is to be expected. It hasn't been wrapped since Sunday.
I decided yesterday that I wanted to have a get together with my running friends the day before my birthday as a kind of "good bye to my 30's" party. I want to spend my birthday with my SO but it will probably be the night before that it finally hits me that I will be old the next day, lol. So I sent out a good ole facebook invite. Not sure if anyone will come but it is better then sitting at my house dwelling on something that I can't change.
In other exciting new I have decided I am going to dress up like a minion for halloween. I am going to hit up goodwill this weekend in search of overalls and a yellow hoodie. I may have to settle for a yellow shirt which I know I can find at walmart or target but the hoodie is best for the costume. I may have to take a long lunch and see if Big Lots has anything.
I go back to the doctor for my leg today. It is much better. Last night we went for a short walk around the neighborhood and had no pain at all; this morning it was just a little stiff. I figure that is to be expected. It hasn't been wrapped since Sunday.
I decided yesterday that I wanted to have a get together with my running friends the day before my birthday as a kind of "good bye to my 30's" party. I want to spend my birthday with my SO but it will probably be the night before that it finally hits me that I will be old the next day, lol. So I sent out a good ole facebook invite. Not sure if anyone will come but it is better then sitting at my house dwelling on something that I can't change.
In other exciting new I have decided I am going to dress up like a minion for halloween. I am going to hit up goodwill this weekend in search of overalls and a yellow hoodie. I may have to settle for a yellow shirt which I know I can find at walmart or target but the hoodie is best for the costume. I may have to take a long lunch and see if Big Lots has anything.
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
daily lessons
I am still in my funk but I am trying really hard to fake it, I'm a girl that should be easy right :-)
My leg is getting better, I no longer have intense pain, it is just a dull throb. I go back and have acupuncture again tomorrow, probably have it wrapped one more time. I am going to be able to walk soon, maybe by the first of next week.
One of my friends sent me a text last night and asked me when I had my band surgery because she had another friend that had been banded. It hit me it has been almost 4 months since my surgery. I have lost 20 pounds. The friend has lost 25 pounds since October. At first I was really upset about this but I have lost 20 pounds. This is huge for me. I was one of those people that would work out all the time, eat right 99% of the time and maintain. I was a low BMI candidate, my starting BMI was 31.4, my current BMI is 27.6; very close to "normal". Would I complain about losing 25 pounds in a month? Nope but I am not that person. I have another fill scheduled for Monday and I am not 100% sure I want a fill. I think I am at a good spot right now. Once I start working out again I think the weight will slowly start to come off again.
I am trying really hard to focus on my journey and not compare to other people. It's a process.
My leg is getting better, I no longer have intense pain, it is just a dull throb. I go back and have acupuncture again tomorrow, probably have it wrapped one more time. I am going to be able to walk soon, maybe by the first of next week.
One of my friends sent me a text last night and asked me when I had my band surgery because she had another friend that had been banded. It hit me it has been almost 4 months since my surgery. I have lost 20 pounds. The friend has lost 25 pounds since October. At first I was really upset about this but I have lost 20 pounds. This is huge for me. I was one of those people that would work out all the time, eat right 99% of the time and maintain. I was a low BMI candidate, my starting BMI was 31.4, my current BMI is 27.6; very close to "normal". Would I complain about losing 25 pounds in a month? Nope but I am not that person. I have another fill scheduled for Monday and I am not 100% sure I want a fill. I think I am at a good spot right now. Once I start working out again I think the weight will slowly start to come off again.
I am trying really hard to focus on my journey and not compare to other people. It's a process.
Monday, October 24, 2011
feeling down
I am sure the lack of exercise is finally starting to make me super cranky. I am just in a blah mood and have no desire to even crawl out of this little whole. It is bad enough that my weight was up two whole pounds today and I just didn't even care.
I have had my leg taped up for the last two weeks but for some reason it didn't stick as well this week as it did last week. I asked Dennis to trim up some of the ends that were coming loose and he freaking cut my leg with the scissors. When I yelled out he said he didn't see any blood so I made him take the wrap off to prove that he cut me. Now I have no wrap on my leg and I am prety sure the swelling is up as a result, I am going to pretend that is where the two pounds are coming from.
My birthday is 15 days away and I had planned on a shopping trip to the new outlet mall in OKC with a friend but it seems as if today was the day my television decided to die. There goes the birthday trip. I just hope it doesn't effect my plans to go to London. Those suckers are not cheap. I may just get the little 20 inch out of the bedroom and see what black friday has to offer.
I go back to the doctor on Wednesday but my leg is still bruised and the knot is still there so I am sure I will be told no exercise for another week. I know I could do a little bit of upper body but you would be suprised what little you can do. Most moves engage the hamstring enough to cause tightness if not outright pain.
Monday is fill day. I have mixed fellings about getting a fill. I am down 5 pounds from my last visit, since my birthday is a week after the visit I would kind of like him to take some out and go back after my birthday and put it plus a little back in. I just want to enjoy my birthday dinner without the fear of PBing a nice dinner all over the table. Then again I don't want to gain any weight back either. Hum, decisions decision.
I have had my leg taped up for the last two weeks but for some reason it didn't stick as well this week as it did last week. I asked Dennis to trim up some of the ends that were coming loose and he freaking cut my leg with the scissors. When I yelled out he said he didn't see any blood so I made him take the wrap off to prove that he cut me. Now I have no wrap on my leg and I am prety sure the swelling is up as a result, I am going to pretend that is where the two pounds are coming from.
My birthday is 15 days away and I had planned on a shopping trip to the new outlet mall in OKC with a friend but it seems as if today was the day my television decided to die. There goes the birthday trip. I just hope it doesn't effect my plans to go to London. Those suckers are not cheap. I may just get the little 20 inch out of the bedroom and see what black friday has to offer.
I go back to the doctor on Wednesday but my leg is still bruised and the knot is still there so I am sure I will be told no exercise for another week. I know I could do a little bit of upper body but you would be suprised what little you can do. Most moves engage the hamstring enough to cause tightness if not outright pain.
Monday is fill day. I have mixed fellings about getting a fill. I am down 5 pounds from my last visit, since my birthday is a week after the visit I would kind of like him to take some out and go back after my birthday and put it plus a little back in. I just want to enjoy my birthday dinner without the fear of PBing a nice dinner all over the table. Then again I don't want to gain any weight back either. Hum, decisions decision.
Thursday, October 20, 2011
We went out to eat last night and I ate almost an entire burrito, WTF? I didn't think that was even possible. I was too scared to weigh this morning since I hit a low of 156 yesterday.
And just because my band is a fickle sort milk is making me want to PB this morning. MILK? I ate my normal cream of wheat waited about 20 minutes and tried to take a drink of milk and it wanted to come up really bad.
And just because my band is a fickle sort milk is making me want to PB this morning. MILK? I ate my normal cream of wheat waited about 20 minutes and tried to take a drink of milk and it wanted to come up really bad.
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
scale suprises!!
I decided I wasn't going to weigh this morning, I just had a feeling it would not be pretty with the combination of no exercise and the inflamation from my torn hammy. But purely out of habit I jumped on the scale this morning and was rewarded with 156.8!!! I sure hope it is a real loss and not muscle from nearly a week of no movement. At any rate I am going to take it anyway!!
I go back to the doctor Thursday to have accupuncture done on my leg and get it re-taped. It honestly feels better today, only excruciating pain when I have to sit in a lower chair, this includes the toilet so I can only imagine what people think when I make the omg that hurts noise as I sit down and stand up.
Going out to eat with the man tonight. Mexican, yummo!!
I go back to the doctor Thursday to have accupuncture done on my leg and get it re-taped. It honestly feels better today, only excruciating pain when I have to sit in a lower chair, this includes the toilet so I can only imagine what people think when I make the omg that hurts noise as I sit down and stand up.
Going out to eat with the man tonight. Mexican, yummo!!
Monday, October 17, 2011
sport injuries suck
I have a grade 2 hamstring strain. To be honest I didn't go to the orthopedic doctor because I knew they would put me on crutches ( I had a stress fracture in my knee three years ago and was on crutches for three months. Don't care to repeat that). My chiropractor is an amazing athlete who I have lots of faith in when it comes to sports injuries; he did acupuncture on it and taped me up with k-tape. I go back Thursday so he can look at it and retape it. No exercise that puts any strain on my hamstring, heck standing up and setting down hurts. At first he told me I could bike but he changed his mind after he saw how bad it was and doesn't want me to rupture it. Almost worth it though because Dr. Z told me he could really tell I was firming up and looking really good. He asked me if I had a lot of people telling me because it was really noticeable. I heart Dr. Z, lol
It was really kind of funny this weekend when I helped run an aid station at a 50K, 100K, and 100 mile run. These poor guys and girls that had ran 95 miles would come up to the aid station and I would yell out in pain standing up from my comfy chair. In my defense I did stay awake over 30 hours tending to my station. Some of those guys are nuts. One guy was doing his 3rd 100 mile run in 4 weeks; I talked to him a few minutes and he had gastric bypass and had lost over 100 pounds. If that isn't motivating I don't know what is. I can honestly say that I will never run 100 miles though, no desire whatsoever!!
My personal trainer is about to get fired I think. My leg has been hurting for over a week. I went him a text on my Tuesday workout and told him that I was hurt and he would have to go easy on me. He promised he would. We foam rolled my leg and he had me do a lot of upper body circuits, but there were still some things that hurt my leg that he had me push through. The second part of the workout he had me running with weights in my hand and running stairs with a medicine ball. I sent him a text today and told him I had to take a week off and he sent me a text back telling me I needed to come in anyway and do upper body. I told him that I am not going to fall for that again and I wasn't going to have him push me through things that could rupture my hamstring since he obviously didn't understand how bad it was. I sent him a message later with a picture of my taped up leg and he told me that I still needed to come in and work out with him and do upper body. I told him I would do it on my own. He didn't reply. The more I think about it the more pissed off I get that he had me doing leg lifts and running stairs when he saw how much pain I am in. I would tell the manager but he IS the manager. I have a feeling he is putting a lot of pressure on me because I am losing quickly and my body is really firming up and he wants people to see me and think it is all him. I have 6 or 7 sessions left and I am not going to buy more sessions. I know weight training is important but I am ready to start focusing on running.
I got new running shoes today before I found out I couldn't even walk :( On top of that the weather is going to be amazing this week :( :(
Back to work and the real world tomorrow. Maybe I can get some rest....
It was really kind of funny this weekend when I helped run an aid station at a 50K, 100K, and 100 mile run. These poor guys and girls that had ran 95 miles would come up to the aid station and I would yell out in pain standing up from my comfy chair. In my defense I did stay awake over 30 hours tending to my station. Some of those guys are nuts. One guy was doing his 3rd 100 mile run in 4 weeks; I talked to him a few minutes and he had gastric bypass and had lost over 100 pounds. If that isn't motivating I don't know what is. I can honestly say that I will never run 100 miles though, no desire whatsoever!!
My personal trainer is about to get fired I think. My leg has been hurting for over a week. I went him a text on my Tuesday workout and told him that I was hurt and he would have to go easy on me. He promised he would. We foam rolled my leg and he had me do a lot of upper body circuits, but there were still some things that hurt my leg that he had me push through. The second part of the workout he had me running with weights in my hand and running stairs with a medicine ball. I sent him a text today and told him I had to take a week off and he sent me a text back telling me I needed to come in anyway and do upper body. I told him that I am not going to fall for that again and I wasn't going to have him push me through things that could rupture my hamstring since he obviously didn't understand how bad it was. I sent him a message later with a picture of my taped up leg and he told me that I still needed to come in and work out with him and do upper body. I told him I would do it on my own. He didn't reply. The more I think about it the more pissed off I get that he had me doing leg lifts and running stairs when he saw how much pain I am in. I would tell the manager but he IS the manager. I have a feeling he is putting a lot of pressure on me because I am losing quickly and my body is really firming up and he wants people to see me and think it is all him. I have 6 or 7 sessions left and I am not going to buy more sessions. I know weight training is important but I am ready to start focusing on running.
I got new running shoes today before I found out I couldn't even walk :( On top of that the weather is going to be amazing this week :( :(
Back to work and the real world tomorrow. Maybe I can get some rest....
Thursday, October 13, 2011
even more pictures
As if I haven't posted enough pictures already, here are some from one of the photography students from the wedding last week. Feel free to unfollow me now, there are 6 more photographers worth of pictures coming. Don't say I didn't warn you.
 |
| love this picture!! |
 |
| My favorite by far!! |
 |
| You can see the dress is too big in the top shelf region here but I still like the picture |
I am supposed to go to the gym tonight and work out with the trainer but I sent him a text and told him I couldn't make it. When I was leaving for work this morning I noticed my big girl (Pyrenees golden mix) was shaking her head alot. She is a gentle giant and normally has the sweetest personality; but she does not like to be messed with when it comes to putting spray or ointments or stuff like that on her. In my hast to get to work I thought "peroxide, that's the answer". Needless to say I had a very angry big girl on my hands. She gave me a look that could kill anyone and hid under the bed. I have no idea how she got under there or how she got out but when I told her daddy about it on the phone he thought it was the funnest thing ever. Long story short I have to take her to the vet after work.
I have realized lately that it is much easier to eat junk food than it is to eat healthy food. I can eat Cheetos, nachos, muddy buddies and never even come close to getting stuck but two bites of chicken and I am done. I have always wondered how some people can fail with the band but I am pretty sure I have figured it out. Luckily I am pretty good at staying away from those things.
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
long rant...sorry
I have noticed that since I had my surgery 3 months ago I have always had someone with me when I go out to eat that knows about my surgery and kind of acts as a buffer to the people that don't know. Since I have had my last two fills and have good restriction I hadn't been out to eat at all; until yesterday. I went to a Chinese buffet with some co-workers, two that knew two that didn't. I am still having the eyes bigger than the stomach syndrome so I got way more food than I could possibly eat. About half way through the meal when almost everyone was going back for seconds one of the non-knowers asked me if I was feeling alright because I sure wasted my money on the food. I just told him that I was pretty sure there was MSG in the food and it was making my stomach blah.
Tonight I am going out to eat with my older sister and the parental unit. None of them know about the band. I really wish D would go with me so I could sneak food over on his plate but I guess it is time I figure out how to handle these situations. I have put off this dinner for 3 weeks so it is time to face the music. I have no intention of ever telling my Mom about the surgery. She is one of those people that, when I was at my largest, just assumed we were the same size. Not normally an issue except that I worked out at least 3 days a week and she doesn't move ever. She swears she is a size 14/16, brags about it even but can't wear pants without elastic waist. She is all the time calling me wanting to borrow clothes. Well I am almost in a 10 now but she hasn't noticed, or at least hasn't said anything about it. So if she knew I had the surgery she would just have a great time with that.
Then there is the fact that my mother can't keep her mouth shut. She is that person who posts things on facebook saying "please keep so and so in your thoughts and prayers today because....." It seems nice but it is just her way of being a busy body and letting everyone know what is going on. Let's take my heart condition for example. I discovered I had an alarming high heart rate while running a 5K with a veteran runner whose wife is an RN. Our goal was a PR for me until he saw how fast my heart rate was (I think it was 215) and he made me walk. They almost made me go to the hospital that night but I kept telling them it was normal and I would call my doctor the following Monday and have it checked out. Several tests and hundreds of dollars later it turns out I have something called inappropriate sinus tachycardia. It is minor, nothing serious and it doesn't even required medication unless it gets uncomfortable or I start passing out.
So I told my Mom about it so she would know since it is likely her or my dad has the same thing. I asked her to please not discuss it with anyone because it wasn't a big deal and I didn't want everyone freaking out thinking I was going to die. Twice she called me from a different aunts house asking me what my 'condition' is called so they could ask their doctor about it. I refused to tell her and said as far as they were concerned I don't have any 'condition'. Oh mothers.
Then there is my sister who will get drunk and tell everyone.
I rest my case. Not that I think it is a big deal but I am very private about my health and it is up to me to tell people not them.
OK, so on to smaller and better things. Really tough workout last night. Did circuits with the trainer, one of which nearly killed me I swear. But I left the gym feeling better about myself than I have in awhile and every time I set down or stand up I remember it all over again, lol.
Tonight I am going out to eat with my older sister and the parental unit. None of them know about the band. I really wish D would go with me so I could sneak food over on his plate but I guess it is time I figure out how to handle these situations. I have put off this dinner for 3 weeks so it is time to face the music. I have no intention of ever telling my Mom about the surgery. She is one of those people that, when I was at my largest, just assumed we were the same size. Not normally an issue except that I worked out at least 3 days a week and she doesn't move ever. She swears she is a size 14/16, brags about it even but can't wear pants without elastic waist. She is all the time calling me wanting to borrow clothes. Well I am almost in a 10 now but she hasn't noticed, or at least hasn't said anything about it. So if she knew I had the surgery she would just have a great time with that.
Then there is the fact that my mother can't keep her mouth shut. She is that person who posts things on facebook saying "please keep so and so in your thoughts and prayers today because....." It seems nice but it is just her way of being a busy body and letting everyone know what is going on. Let's take my heart condition for example. I discovered I had an alarming high heart rate while running a 5K with a veteran runner whose wife is an RN. Our goal was a PR for me until he saw how fast my heart rate was (I think it was 215) and he made me walk. They almost made me go to the hospital that night but I kept telling them it was normal and I would call my doctor the following Monday and have it checked out. Several tests and hundreds of dollars later it turns out I have something called inappropriate sinus tachycardia. It is minor, nothing serious and it doesn't even required medication unless it gets uncomfortable or I start passing out.
So I told my Mom about it so she would know since it is likely her or my dad has the same thing. I asked her to please not discuss it with anyone because it wasn't a big deal and I didn't want everyone freaking out thinking I was going to die. Twice she called me from a different aunts house asking me what my 'condition' is called so they could ask their doctor about it. I refused to tell her and said as far as they were concerned I don't have any 'condition'. Oh mothers.
Then there is my sister who will get drunk and tell everyone.
I rest my case. Not that I think it is a big deal but I am very private about my health and it is up to me to tell people not them.
OK, so on to smaller and better things. Really tough workout last night. Did circuits with the trainer, one of which nearly killed me I swear. But I left the gym feeling better about myself than I have in awhile and every time I set down or stand up I remember it all over again, lol.
Monday, October 10, 2011
playing catch up
The "wedding" went off really well. I don't know how people do that for real, I was exhausted and I didn't have to do any of the planning. I have a few pictures that people took with iPhones but won't have real pictures for a week or so. As you can tell by the pictures we spent most of the night laughing.
The funny thing is that the dress fit me perfectly when I bought it but I had to stuff my bra to keep it from falling off that night. The first time in my life I have ever had to stuff anything, lol. Even though it was a cheap dress and a fake wedding I took the dress in and had it preserved. We really did have a great time and I would like to have the dress if someone else would like to use it.
I found out Friday that my little sister's 15 year old lab mix had to be put down. It was so sad, she had to bottle feed him as a puppy, he was a part of the family. The fair was in town and we had decided we wouldn't go this year but I took her on Saturday to try and cheer her up.....with food of course. I didn't do bad, I am pretty restricted and being upset is making it worse; but I did eat some nachos and a red velvet funnel cake...
not sure why some of the pictures are coming out sideways?
There were a few booths that had Miss Me jeans, I wanted to try them on but I just knew they wouldn't fit just yet and didn't want it to spoil my mood. Besides, who tries on jeans at the fair?
I have the day off today and decided to go to a store that specializes in designer jeans. Guess what?
Yup, that is my ass in a pair of designer jeans!!!! Granted it is the largest size they make but I couldn't have done that a few months ago. I didn't buy them because I am certain they would be too big by Christmas and I don't want to pay $100 for jeans that I can only wear a few months. Besides, in the dozens of styles they had there was only one pair in my size and I want to pick what style I get, not settle.
Oh, and I weighed 159 this morning!!!! I am so close to a healthy BMI.
I found out Friday that my little sister's 15 year old lab mix had to be put down. It was so sad, she had to bottle feed him as a puppy, he was a part of the family. The fair was in town and we had decided we wouldn't go this year but I took her on Saturday to try and cheer her up.....with food of course. I didn't do bad, I am pretty restricted and being upset is making it worse; but I did eat some nachos and a red velvet funnel cake...
There were a few booths that had Miss Me jeans, I wanted to try them on but I just knew they wouldn't fit just yet and didn't want it to spoil my mood. Besides, who tries on jeans at the fair?
I have the day off today and decided to go to a store that specializes in designer jeans. Guess what?
Oh, and I weighed 159 this morning!!!! I am so close to a healthy BMI.
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
fill 'r up
I don't think the doctor wanted to give me a fill yesterday. I am officially down 16.5 pounds on their scale and 7 pounds since my last visit. I am getting hungry about every 2 hours and I am starting to be able to eat more so he gave me a whooping .2CC!!! I thought he would at least give me a half.
He thinks I am close to my green zone and since we are doing micoadjustments he told me to call in two weeks if I am not losing and he will give me more of a fill.
I weighed this morning and I was down to 160.0!! That is 1.2 pounds down from yesterday. I am so close to a healthy BMI.
Tomorrow is my fake wedding!!! I am actually getting nervous.
He thinks I am close to my green zone and since we are doing micoadjustments he told me to call in two weeks if I am not losing and he will give me more of a fill.
I weighed this morning and I was down to 160.0!! That is 1.2 pounds down from yesterday. I am so close to a healthy BMI.
Tomorrow is my fake wedding!!! I am actually getting nervous.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Work sucks
I think I have hit stress overhload. I have worked OT almost every day for the last two weeks. Today I was on my way to the gym for the first time in a week and my supervisor called me and asked me to come into the office. I told her no. My work computer was at my house, I had an appointment with the trainer and I wasn't going to cancel again, especially not 15 minutes before my appointment. I did end up working from home and will go in early tomorrow but I got in a workout. It wasn't stellar because I am beat but it was better than sitting on my fat ass at the office. I really hoped things would die down a little since yesterday was the start of our new FY but since the other lead in my division retired Friday it doesn't look like it is going to. It probably wouldn't be so bad if I not only had to start taking over her duties, take on a huge project, and close out the FY; I also had to plan and pretty much pay for the other leads retirement party. She is a good friend so I didn't mind making sure her last day was amazing but holy cow, a little help here!!
I am not sure if I have mentioned on here but I plan on going to London for the 2012 Olympics. My cousin is going to school there and she lives about 2 miles from the Olympic stadium. Tickets, it seems, are impossible to come by at this late date (a year out) so I have been watching the web like a hawk for any possible tickets. Last night I saw that there is an Olympic run March 31 a 5 mile run through the stadium and crossing the official finish line. That almost sounds like as much fun as the actual games to me, and plane tickets are $500 cheaper. Of course you have to sign up for a lottery to get to run and you need a UK address. I signed up using my cousins address. I doubt if I get drawn but if I do I have to figure out a way to be able to do that run!! If I go for the run or the games I am really excited about going to London.
Food has been ok. I have noticed that now that I have restriction I am paying less attention to the quality of food that I am eating. I rationalize it by telling myself I am not eating that much anyway. I really need to do better but it is a learning process and I am glad I am noticing the patterns at any rate.
Fill tomorrow, curious to see what the official weight is going to be. Also curious to see how much he is going to give me.
Wednesday I am only working half a day since I have to get ready for my fake wedding. My stylist is going to do my hair and make-up because the pictures are real. I can't imagine having to do this for real, I would kill people, lol.
Hope everyone has a good week.
I am not sure if I have mentioned on here but I plan on going to London for the 2012 Olympics. My cousin is going to school there and she lives about 2 miles from the Olympic stadium. Tickets, it seems, are impossible to come by at this late date (a year out) so I have been watching the web like a hawk for any possible tickets. Last night I saw that there is an Olympic run March 31 a 5 mile run through the stadium and crossing the official finish line. That almost sounds like as much fun as the actual games to me, and plane tickets are $500 cheaper. Of course you have to sign up for a lottery to get to run and you need a UK address. I signed up using my cousins address. I doubt if I get drawn but if I do I have to figure out a way to be able to do that run!! If I go for the run or the games I am really excited about going to London.
Food has been ok. I have noticed that now that I have restriction I am paying less attention to the quality of food that I am eating. I rationalize it by telling myself I am not eating that much anyway. I really need to do better but it is a learning process and I am glad I am noticing the patterns at any rate.
Fill tomorrow, curious to see what the official weight is going to be. Also curious to see how much he is going to give me.
Wednesday I am only working half a day since I have to get ready for my fake wedding. My stylist is going to do my hair and make-up because the pictures are real. I can't imagine having to do this for real, I would kill people, lol.
Hope everyone has a good week.
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
checking in
My weight is staying constant but my appetite is coming back a little more; guess it is a good thing I have a fill scheduled for Monday. I wonder how much he will put in. I have 4cc right now, even though I don't think the doctor has been real aggressive he said he was going to slow it down a little. He said that he is estimating my green zone to be somewhere between 4 and 6. I hope he gives me a whole cc but we will see.
so that is Monday, Wednesday is the fake wedding photo shoot. I ended up buying a dress at salvation army for $149. It isn't my style or what I would pick for my real wedding but the dress is very pretty. I think my family is having a hard time believing it isn't real. Yes I know it is a little strange but D and I are probably the least stressed out 'bride and groom' ever. One of my friends is literally driving me nuts trying to find a black dress....I thought that would be super easy to find. Not really happy with how I look in the dress but it could have been worse.
On a related note, dress shopping could have been very depressing if I would have let it. They do not make those dresses in the standard size. I decided to not pay attention to the size, more than likely the dress has been altered anyway. My size 12 AE jeans made it all better.
I haven't been in the gym this week. My sinuses are kicking my butt and I just didn't have the energy to do it. I hope to get a run in tomorrow after I get home from my latest work trip and at least getting a good weight workout Sunday before I go see Dr. Atkins Monday. I always see a small dip on the scale the day after a good workout. I will be back before the end of the week. I just feel so much better when I work out.
On a related note, dress shopping could have been very depressing if I would have let it. They do not make those dresses in the standard size. I decided to not pay attention to the size, more than likely the dress has been altered anyway. My size 12 AE jeans made it all better.
I haven't been in the gym this week. My sinuses are kicking my butt and I just didn't have the energy to do it. I hope to get a run in tomorrow after I get home from my latest work trip and at least getting a good weight workout Sunday before I go see Dr. Atkins Monday. I always see a small dip on the scale the day after a good workout. I will be back before the end of the week. I just feel so much better when I work out.
Thursday, September 22, 2011
exciting things
I am in need of a size 12/14 wedding dress stat!! One of my friends is in a bridal photography class and asked D and I to be "the" couple. Since I have never been a bride and had no immediate plans to become one this is kind of exciting. I get the pretty pictures, cake, flowers, all the fun stuff and none of the stress. They gave me a size 10 dress to try on (yeah right) and even though I got it to zip over my hips it was about an inch from closing over my rib cage. I have never used spanx but I might try. Me and my sister are going to go thrift store shopping saturday. I have looked all over the internet for a rental place and couldn't find anything in town.
OK on to band related issues. I am eating more than I was able to a week ago but I am working out pretty hard 5/6 days a week. I ate almost an entire burrito at lunch. I haven't noticed an increase in the scale. Maybe I am just learning to eat slower? I don't know but I am scheduled for a fill Oct. 3 and for the first time since my last fill I think I need it.
OK on to band related issues. I am eating more than I was able to a week ago but I am working out pretty hard 5/6 days a week. I ate almost an entire burrito at lunch. I haven't noticed an increase in the scale. Maybe I am just learning to eat slower? I don't know but I am scheduled for a fill Oct. 3 and for the first time since my last fill I think I need it.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
I love the band
Today, for the first time in a very long time I almost cried tears of joy when I stepped on the scale. Dispite the stress at work, working overtime, and travel the scale is still going down.
Monday, September 19, 2011
Back yet again
I want to add that I am not able to comment on anyone's blogs for some odd reason but I am keeping up with ya'll. Thanks Amy for the blog award nomination!! I hope that I will be able to comment from my home computer....not that I am blogging from work or anything.
I really don't mean to keep pulling a disappearing act. My work schedule is insane this time of year on a normal year (October is the first of our FY so we are working on closeout) but I was the lucky recipient of a brand spanking new project with high visibility and an impossible deadline. No worries, I have been known to pull a rabbit out of hat a time or two but it leaves little time for real life.
I am reaching a point in my weight loss were people are actually starting to notice. My hair stylist and a friend at the gym both comment on it. I did measurements at the gym on Sunday and I am down about 12 inches and 4% body fat, which puts me in the normal range!! That made me so freaking happy. Even eating out I am down. My weight may not be moving very fast but I am happy that the inches and the fat are going bye-bye!!
So this weekend I went into a store that I never thought I would go into, American Eagle, and bought a pair of jeans. More importantly not in the biggest size they carry!! I have been getting comments from friends that I was starting to look like the little wanna be gangster boys with the pants hanging half way to their knees, couldn't have that.
Eating is really strange now. I am at that point that when I eat out I get the looks and comments from the waitstaff wanting to make sure my food was ok. I went out to eat last night and since I had burned 600 calories at the gym earlier that day I wanted to make sure and eat very slow and take in more food than I normally would. It took me a little over an hour to eat probably 3/4 of a taco and enchilada (thank you a la cart menu). I go back for a fill Oct. 3. I haven't had any PB experiences and the weight isn't falling off but I know I can't get much more of a fill and eat the amount of protein that I need to eat. Of course things can change drastically in two weeks, we will see.
Hope everyone had a great weekend...
I really don't mean to keep pulling a disappearing act. My work schedule is insane this time of year on a normal year (October is the first of our FY so we are working on closeout) but I was the lucky recipient of a brand spanking new project with high visibility and an impossible deadline. No worries, I have been known to pull a rabbit out of hat a time or two but it leaves little time for real life.
I am reaching a point in my weight loss were people are actually starting to notice. My hair stylist and a friend at the gym both comment on it. I did measurements at the gym on Sunday and I am down about 12 inches and 4% body fat, which puts me in the normal range!! That made me so freaking happy. Even eating out I am down. My weight may not be moving very fast but I am happy that the inches and the fat are going bye-bye!!
So this weekend I went into a store that I never thought I would go into, American Eagle, and bought a pair of jeans. More importantly not in the biggest size they carry!! I have been getting comments from friends that I was starting to look like the little wanna be gangster boys with the pants hanging half way to their knees, couldn't have that.
Eating is really strange now. I am at that point that when I eat out I get the looks and comments from the waitstaff wanting to make sure my food was ok. I went out to eat last night and since I had burned 600 calories at the gym earlier that day I wanted to make sure and eat very slow and take in more food than I normally would. It took me a little over an hour to eat probably 3/4 of a taco and enchilada (thank you a la cart menu). I go back for a fill Oct. 3. I haven't had any PB experiences and the weight isn't falling off but I know I can't get much more of a fill and eat the amount of protein that I need to eat. Of course things can change drastically in two weeks, we will see.
Hope everyone had a great weekend...
Thursday, September 8, 2011
15 pounds gone
I realize it has taken me longer than most people who have had lap band surgery but I have finally made it to 15 pounds lost!! It has taken me two months to do it but it is enough to keep me from throwing in the tall and calling the whole thing a waste of time and money!!
Since my fill Tuesday I have really noticed the restriction. I ate cream of wheat for breakfast this morning and really had to eat slow to keep from getting that pre-stuck feeling. I ate about half of it before I just didn't want it anymore, it was getting cold before I could even eat it. I am pretty sure this is how this bastard is supposed to work.
I bought myself a little 15 pounds lost present, a little gift from me to me. They were on sale and there was only one pair of black boots left in my size. I can't wait until boot weather!!
I am confident that within a week I will be in the 150's and I am so excited about that I can hardly stand it.
Since my fill Tuesday I have really noticed the restriction. I ate cream of wheat for breakfast this morning and really had to eat slow to keep from getting that pre-stuck feeling. I ate about half of it before I just didn't want it anymore, it was getting cold before I could even eat it. I am pretty sure this is how this bastard is supposed to work.
I am confident that within a week I will be in the 150's and I am so excited about that I can hardly stand it.
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Holy restriction Batman!
So this is what restriction is supposed to feel like!! What a difference 2cc's make!! I had a Jamba Juice smoothie with protein for lunch yesterday after my fill and noticed it took me a long time to drink it, but I thought they just made it extra thick. I had CIB for breakfast and was full but I have never been a big breakfast person. I was starving at lunch, and even though I technically am supposed to be on liquids for 48 hours I was too hungry to deal and decided to try turkey deli meat and cheese. I tried the first couple of bites with a little bread and decided that wasn't going to work, so I took the break off and took a couple of more bites and I was done, thanksgiving dinner done.
I am a little nervous that my head hunger will get the best of me this afternoon and I will go off to find something to snack on but I will cross that bridge when/if it comes to it. I really need to go to the store and get some healthy work snacks.
I have so much catching up to do on everyone's blogs, three weeks is a lifetime in the blogosphere!!
I am a little nervous that my head hunger will get the best of me this afternoon and I will go off to find something to snack on but I will cross that bridge when/if it comes to it. I really need to go to the store and get some healthy work snacks.
I have so much catching up to do on everyone's blogs, three weeks is a lifetime in the blogosphere!!
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
starting over, so soon
Wow, it has been a really long time!! Hopefully I am back in full force now.
I am walking proof that the band will not work if you don't put in the effort. I had my second fill today and I was up 2 pounds....well 1.7 to be exact but seriously WTF!! Of course I knew things wouldn't be easy but being sent out of town for 3 weeks working 10-12 hour days made it impossible. It was pretty much work, eat, sleep. The work was so monotonous that eating was the only thing we had to look forward to. I had really hoped those days were behind me. My appetite was almost back to normal, I only had 2cc in my band so there wasn't a lot of restriction there to begin with. I am not making excuses, I could have made better choices and forced myself to wake up (not a morning person here) early and do at least some exercise, I didn't and I am paying the price.
BUT, I am back now, the weather is beautiful and it is re-commitment time. I had another 2cc put in my band today so I am up to 4cc. The doctor said I should really start to feel some restriction at between 4 and 6. He said I would have to pay more attention to chewing and the types of food I am eating because play time is over.
On the exercise front I am getting back into the habit. I had a nice hour and a half workout on Sunday, the plan was to ride the bike yesterday but there was a lot of smoke in the air from all the dang wildfires. I am going to go home and either walk, run or a combination of the two as soon as I get there. I need to call and get the rest of my groupon pilates reformer classes set up too but it has been too nice to think about. I need to move my dang body or this weight will never come off.
I am going to have to go out of town again for at least a week the end of this month but at least I get to go by myself. I will be able to make better food choices and hopefully I can work some from my room so I can take 30 minutes to exercise after I get back to the hotel. I will make it work somehow.
I am walking proof that the band will not work if you don't put in the effort. I had my second fill today and I was up 2 pounds....well 1.7 to be exact but seriously WTF!! Of course I knew things wouldn't be easy but being sent out of town for 3 weeks working 10-12 hour days made it impossible. It was pretty much work, eat, sleep. The work was so monotonous that eating was the only thing we had to look forward to. I had really hoped those days were behind me. My appetite was almost back to normal, I only had 2cc in my band so there wasn't a lot of restriction there to begin with. I am not making excuses, I could have made better choices and forced myself to wake up (not a morning person here) early and do at least some exercise, I didn't and I am paying the price.
BUT, I am back now, the weather is beautiful and it is re-commitment time. I had another 2cc put in my band today so I am up to 4cc. The doctor said I should really start to feel some restriction at between 4 and 6. He said I would have to pay more attention to chewing and the types of food I am eating because play time is over.
On the exercise front I am getting back into the habit. I had a nice hour and a half workout on Sunday, the plan was to ride the bike yesterday but there was a lot of smoke in the air from all the dang wildfires. I am going to go home and either walk, run or a combination of the two as soon as I get there. I need to call and get the rest of my groupon pilates reformer classes set up too but it has been too nice to think about. I need to move my dang body or this weight will never come off.
I am going to have to go out of town again for at least a week the end of this month but at least I get to go by myself. I will be able to make better food choices and hopefully I can work some from my room so I can take 30 minutes to exercise after I get back to the hotel. I will make it work somehow.
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Frustration
I really fell like I am getting no where with my weight loss. The rational part of my brain tells me I have lost close to15 pounds in a two months. Without the surgery I would have gained seeing as how I have spent a lot of the last month living out of hotel rooms and eating out. But I WANT MORE!!
Am I working out like I should be? No, working 12 hours a day 5 days this week and 6 hours Saturday and Sunday pretty much made it difficult to work it in. Work, eat sleep that will be my life for the next week and a half
Am I making the best food choices? No. I am eating whatever I want, granted much smaller portions but again, I am eating out everyday.
I could have hit the treadmill today but I talked myself out of it because one day isn't going to make a difference.
My second fill was scheduled for 31 August but because of this work thing I had to reschedule it for 7 September, one whole more week...gggggrrrrrr
My doctor wanted me down to 160 by my next fill, that probably isn't going to happen. I brought my scales with me and it is staying fairly consistent. I would be happy with just a small loss at this point.
Am I working out like I should be? No, working 12 hours a day 5 days this week and 6 hours Saturday and Sunday pretty much made it difficult to work it in. Work, eat sleep that will be my life for the next week and a half
Am I making the best food choices? No. I am eating whatever I want, granted much smaller portions but again, I am eating out everyday.
I could have hit the treadmill today but I talked myself out of it because one day isn't going to make a difference.
My second fill was scheduled for 31 August but because of this work thing I had to reschedule it for 7 September, one whole more week...gggggrrrrrr
My doctor wanted me down to 160 by my next fill, that probably isn't going to happen. I brought my scales with me and it is staying fairly consistent. I would be happy with just a small loss at this point.
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Wow
I had my first PB today in a van full of people unable to escape. It was rather humiliating. Now I feel really bloated and my stomach is kind of sore, is this normal?
Away from home until1 September and will have very limited access to a computer.
BTW, boss had very little to say about my funky hair.
Away from home until1 September and will have very limited access to a computer.
BTW, boss had very little to say about my funky hair.
Sunday, August 14, 2011
It has been a long week. I had nothing positive to say so I kept it to myself. Lets just say the only exercise I got last week was a lot of self flagellation.
I finally had my workout schedule set up for the next month and found out Thursday that I will be sent off to the middle of nowhere for 3 weeks for work. Not sure what the fitness facility looks like there. There will be several of us in a van together so it isn't like I can get a temporary pass to the gym and work out there without a group vote of some kind. Talk about a pain in the a$$
Friday I had really low day, I took off work to take Libby to the specialist and to the dentist, the two nights before my little terrier Sidney kept us up all night coughing so the combination of guilt and exhaustion led to an emotional breakdown.
I drove through McDonalds and got a happy meal for lunch, with a coke. Thinking back on it I pretty much just wanted my physical state to match my emotional state. I knew that the burger wouldn't be comfortable to get down and I purposefully ate it faster than normal. I think I might have had two drinks of the soda because it literally hurts to drink anything carbonated now. I was miserable for a good 30 minutes and took some time to reflect on why I was doing this to myself....as I was walking through Marshalls thinking about how gross it would be to puke in the public restroom.
So yesterday I had my hair did and we decided we just needed to do something completely different. We had been looking at a platinum/lilac combination for awhile and we just went for it.
sorry it's sideways.
I finally had my workout schedule set up for the next month and found out Thursday that I will be sent off to the middle of nowhere for 3 weeks for work. Not sure what the fitness facility looks like there. There will be several of us in a van together so it isn't like I can get a temporary pass to the gym and work out there without a group vote of some kind. Talk about a pain in the a$$
Friday I had really low day, I took off work to take Libby to the specialist and to the dentist, the two nights before my little terrier Sidney kept us up all night coughing so the combination of guilt and exhaustion led to an emotional breakdown.
I drove through McDonalds and got a happy meal for lunch, with a coke. Thinking back on it I pretty much just wanted my physical state to match my emotional state. I knew that the burger wouldn't be comfortable to get down and I purposefully ate it faster than normal. I think I might have had two drinks of the soda because it literally hurts to drink anything carbonated now. I was miserable for a good 30 minutes and took some time to reflect on why I was doing this to myself....as I was walking through Marshalls thinking about how gross it would be to puke in the public restroom.
So yesterday I had my hair did and we decided we just needed to do something completely different. We had been looking at a platinum/lilac combination for awhile and we just went for it.
sorry it's sideways.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
first slime
I remember reading on lap band talk and on blogs about how people can tell a difference in how they can eat based on stress levels. I thought yeah right, it must be a mental thing....I was wrong. I totally got stuck on a homemade chicken wrap at lunch today. I have never had problems with tortillas before, as a matter of fact it has been my go to because bread isn't always easy to eat. Of course I have eaten chicken before, and cheese, and salsa...not so much green peppers so that may have been part of the problem. Who knows but it sure stuck right in the middle of my chest and was not moving. I leaned over the kitchen sink just hoping it would either go up or down didn't care which path it chose. It eventually went down and I SLOWLY ate a little more of the chicken.
So the stress thing. It seems as if one of my dogs has blown out the cruciate ligament in her left knee. Wouldn't have been such a big deal if it hadn't already been repaired once 6 months ago and it was the repair that she ripped. I took her to my regular vet yesterday, which I like and all but she isn't a knee person. The vet at her clinic that does knee surgery is the same vet that fixed it the first time. For some reason my confidence in his surgical ability is a little low right now. I got a referral to a vet in OKC, which is over an hour away. Did I mention the surgery is over $3K? Everything I have read online about this surgery is bad. UGH.
So today I took off work again and took her to another vet that I absolutely love that only does Eastern medicine. I am a firm believer in acupuncture from personal experience and when another of my dogs, an 11 something year old lab mix had hip trouble I sought out a vet that would do acupuncture on dogs. This lady is amazing, has helped me on issues with other dogs (yes I have 7 rescues) and if she doesn't "treat" them for anything she doesn't charge. She is so not about money, she is about helping dogs so I trust her opinion over any other vet. Unfortunately there isn't anything she can do to help Libby but she is working with a board certified veterinary surgeon locally; can you believe there are only 2 in Tulsa, to make sure Libby gets the right treatment and the best care. Her clinic has hydrotherapy (underwater treadmill) so she said she would take her on as soon as we get her fixed up to help keep this from happening again. Did I mention she is the best vet ever? I would totally quit my job and work for her if I could financially afford it.
I know it will work out but holy moley I just spent $10,000 on my surgery. But think of all the money I will save on food until we get this worked out!!
So the stress thing. It seems as if one of my dogs has blown out the cruciate ligament in her left knee. Wouldn't have been such a big deal if it hadn't already been repaired once 6 months ago and it was the repair that she ripped. I took her to my regular vet yesterday, which I like and all but she isn't a knee person. The vet at her clinic that does knee surgery is the same vet that fixed it the first time. For some reason my confidence in his surgical ability is a little low right now. I got a referral to a vet in OKC, which is over an hour away. Did I mention the surgery is over $3K? Everything I have read online about this surgery is bad. UGH.
So today I took off work again and took her to another vet that I absolutely love that only does Eastern medicine. I am a firm believer in acupuncture from personal experience and when another of my dogs, an 11 something year old lab mix had hip trouble I sought out a vet that would do acupuncture on dogs. This lady is amazing, has helped me on issues with other dogs (yes I have 7 rescues) and if she doesn't "treat" them for anything she doesn't charge. She is so not about money, she is about helping dogs so I trust her opinion over any other vet. Unfortunately there isn't anything she can do to help Libby but she is working with a board certified veterinary surgeon locally; can you believe there are only 2 in Tulsa, to make sure Libby gets the right treatment and the best care. Her clinic has hydrotherapy (underwater treadmill) so she said she would take her on as soon as we get her fixed up to help keep this from happening again. Did I mention she is the best vet ever? I would totally quit my job and work for her if I could financially afford it.
I know it will work out but holy moley I just spent $10,000 on my surgery. But think of all the money I will save on food until we get this worked out!!
Sunday, August 7, 2011
a little running history....ok an epic saga,
This is my tattoo
I |
| it reads Oklahoma City Memorial Marathon Finisher |
I got this tattoo in 2009 after completing my first (and last) marathon. I was actually thin for maybe a year during this time, it didn't last long and for some reason was the one and only time I was able to lose any significant amount of weight with diet and massive amounts of exercise.
The top picture is of a training quarter marathon run November of 2008, the last is of me crossing the finish line after the OKC marathon. That my friends is what pure exhaustion looks like.
Looking back at it I am not sure what the hell I was thinking. I had been working out really hard 3-4 times a week with a trainer and hated to run, but I was sent out of town for work for 6 weeks and we decided that the best way to stay in the exercise groove was to do the C25K training program to keep up with my cardio. I was so excited when I ran 20 minutes without stopping for the first time that I decided I could run forever. I was loosing weight and in a really good place. When I got back from my assignment my trainer was impressed. I started running with a running group in conjunction with working out with the trainer. Running was never easy, but it was a challenge that I had conquered.
The marathon itself was a blast for the first 13 miles despite the fact that I got horrible blisters on the bottoms of both feet that covered about 1/2 my feet I noticed these somewhere between miles 7 and 9. I am not sure I have ever been in so much pain. It wasn't fast and it wasn't pretty but I finished. As a matter of fact they had ran out of medals by the time I had crossed the finish line (good thing I wasn't physically able to go bat sh!t crazy at that point).
Here's the thing. Running got harder for me instead of easier. I don't know why but my times kept getting worse and worse; I was so discouraged. I was also maintaining the same level of activity but gaining weight. My doctor did every test known to mankind but found no reason for it. I got very depressed and just dropped out of everything. Of course that made the weight come on faster. I eventually went back to the gym and running with my friends but the trend never reversed and I kept on gaining. If I hadn't had lap band surgery I am sure I would be well over 200 pounds in a years time.
So, here I am.....Even though I never had been a runner I had told people for years that if I ever finished a marathon I would get the finishers medal tattooed on my foot so there you have it. Now that I am "fat" I am kind of embarrassed by it. People ask me about it and I tell them what it is and I feel like they look at me in disbelief (yeah right, fat girl ran a marathon). Or worse their reaction is "oh, your a runner". I am not much of a runner. I can barely do 1:1 intervals for a mile without passing out. It kind of makes me feel like a big fraud.
I don't want to feel like that anymore. I want to run the flying pig half marathon this spring and finish in under 3 hours like a real runner.
I want to be proud of my accomplishment again.
Friday, August 5, 2011
First BYOC
mostly because I am freaked out at seeing my half naked picture every time I log in!!!
3. Do you get along with your parents well?
My dad is very quiet and kind of hard to get to know (no surprise after seeing what a lovely person his mother was) but we have gotten to know each other over the past few years by taking long walk - I have walked a couple of 5K's and half marathons with him. It makes me feel really special to have that time with him away from my mom and sisters.
My mom is a hoot, typical guilt trip mother. I am pretty sarcastic and abrupt so I usually turn it around on her, which gets me hung up on alot, lol.
Red
Blue
Violet
Yellow
Orange
5. Repeat question. How was your week in real life and in blog land this week?
Thanks to Jessica I have a ton of new supporters, I am so excited to read up on their journeys and
see how far they have come. I appreciate all the comments. I had my first fill this week but can't
really tell any difference. I lost 5 pounds since I saw the doctor last, since I am a lower BMI
bandster he was very happy with that. I hope I can beat that this month.
1. I’m
going to pick a person in your life – not knowing if you have a good or
bad, existing or non-existent relationship with them – and your mission
is to pick 5 words or traits or thoughts to describe them.
Your paternal grandmother.
abusive
Your paternal grandmother.
abusive
abrasive
introverted
self-centered
dead
2. What’s your all time favorite color to paint your nails? And your toes?
Nails – Right now they are "caught with your khaki's down" and I am loving it!!
Toes – something funky, usually to match the tattoo on my foot
2. What’s your all time favorite color to paint your nails? And your toes?
Nails – Right now they are "caught with your khaki's down" and I am loving it!!
Toes – something funky, usually to match the tattoo on my foot
3. Do you get along with your parents well?
My dad is very quiet and kind of hard to get to know (no surprise after seeing what a lovely person his mother was) but we have gotten to know each other over the past few years by taking long walk - I have walked a couple of 5K's and half marathons with him. It makes me feel really special to have that time with him away from my mom and sisters.
My mom is a hoot, typical guilt trip mother. I am pretty sarcastic and abrupt so I usually turn it around on her, which gets me hung up on alot, lol.
We used to speak on the phone every day but since my dad retired they are connected at the hip so it is like trying to have a conversation with both of them at the same time. I need to visit them more often.
4. Speaking of rainbows – rank the rainbow colors in the order you prefer.
Green4. Speaking of rainbows – rank the rainbow colors in the order you prefer.
Red
Blue
Violet
Yellow
Orange
5. Repeat question. How was your week in real life and in blog land this week?
see how far they have come. I appreciate all the comments. I had my first fill this week but can't
really tell any difference. I lost 5 pounds since I saw the doctor last, since I am a lower BMI
bandster he was very happy with that. I hope I can beat that this month.
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Jessica is awesome
I am so overwhelmed by the new supporters!! It helps so much for us newbies to have some seasoned (and not so seasoned) bandsters to help us through our journey. Thank you Jessica.
I am taking a mental health day from work. I woke up this morning and just couldn't even fathom getting dressed up and going out in the heat again today....so I didn't. I really should have thought it through since I took off early yesterday for my fill and I will have to take off at noon next friday to get my permanent crown. Oh well, I need this day to sit around under the a/c and watch TLC, lol.
I haven't really been hungry since my fill. I drank a glass of skim milk with my medication this morning but I haven't had anything more than that. My doctor wants me on liquids for 2 day. I think most people do 24 hours but since I am not really hungry anyway it isn't that big of a deal. When it gets over 110 degrees outside nothing really sounds good anyway.
My tummy is a little sore today where the doctor dug out the stitch, the port site feels fine.
I am taking a mental health day from work. I woke up this morning and just couldn't even fathom getting dressed up and going out in the heat again today....so I didn't. I really should have thought it through since I took off early yesterday for my fill and I will have to take off at noon next friday to get my permanent crown. Oh well, I need this day to sit around under the a/c and watch TLC, lol.
I haven't really been hungry since my fill. I drank a glass of skim milk with my medication this morning but I haven't had anything more than that. My doctor wants me on liquids for 2 day. I think most people do 24 hours but since I am not really hungry anyway it isn't that big of a deal. When it gets over 110 degrees outside nothing really sounds good anyway.
My tummy is a little sore today where the doctor dug out the stitch, the port site feels fine.
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
first fill
It wasn't so bad. I got to the surgeons office, reception called to let the nurse know I was there and Dr, Atkins answered. So he came out and got me almost immediately. I went to the room and laid down on the bed. I asked Dr. A to check out the one incision that doesn't seem to be healing up as well as the others. He said he would check that before I left. But first I had to be weighed. down 5 pounds from last month!! It would have been more if it hadn't bee for that stupid trip to MS. Nothing I can do about it now.
He grabbed a big needle and stuck it right in the middle of the port. Him moving it around wasn't to comfortable but nothing horrible. He stick wasn't bad either. He ended up putting 2cc in my band. He said I probably won't feel any restriction but he doesn't want to fill it up to much, would rather go the gradual route. I will go back in a month and have another 2cc put in. He suspects the "sweet spot" to be between 4 and 6 CC. We will see.
After he loaded me up he looked at my incision and said there was a stitch that didn't dissolve so he would have to "work on it". It hurt a lot more the fill. But the stitch is gone and I can stop freaking out about how gross it looks when I take the scargaurd stuff off. That hurt like hell. But the entire experience too like 10 minutes.
I am cleared for all exercise. I am going to pilates reformer class on Saturday and meeting a friend at the gym on Thursday. It's on!! I would be a lot more enthusiastic if it wasn't too damn hot to leave my house but I can't sit around anymore, it is time to get my ass moving.
He grabbed a big needle and stuck it right in the middle of the port. Him moving it around wasn't to comfortable but nothing horrible. He stick wasn't bad either. He ended up putting 2cc in my band. He said I probably won't feel any restriction but he doesn't want to fill it up to much, would rather go the gradual route. I will go back in a month and have another 2cc put in. He suspects the "sweet spot" to be between 4 and 6 CC. We will see.
After he loaded me up he looked at my incision and said there was a stitch that didn't dissolve so he would have to "work on it". It hurt a lot more the fill. But the stitch is gone and I can stop freaking out about how gross it looks when I take the scargaurd stuff off. That hurt like hell. But the entire experience too like 10 minutes.
I am cleared for all exercise. I am going to pilates reformer class on Saturday and meeting a friend at the gym on Thursday. It's on!! I would be a lot more enthusiastic if it wasn't too damn hot to leave my house but I can't sit around anymore, it is time to get my ass moving.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)