Back again just in time for TTT

1.  I got a new tattoo!!  I always said if anything ever happened to Hunter I would have some of his ashes mixed in with tattoo ink and have one done. 

 

For some reason I don't have one of the final product.  He did a baby blue background, he pointed out that the background looks like the sihloutte of a dog.  I just got it Monday so it is still a little ugly.  I will get another picture of it when it is healed.  FYI, if you have a desk job the hip may not be the best place to get inked. 

 

2.  Dennis is NOT happy about the new art.  It isn't my first but I didn't tell him about the others I just showed up with them.  He told me that he was ok with it but I think he thought I would change my mind.  I haven't said anything to him about it and he hasn't asked.  I am going to see how long I have it before he finally sees it.  It is in a place that can be easily hidden.

 

3.  I think my luck is turning around.  Since last I posted I got furloughed for 3 days due to the government shut down...but got back pay!!  Lost the Uncle that raised my dad.  He was almost 90 and was miserable.  He was a very active person and had been in a wheelchair for a couple of years.  If it had been up to him he would have passed when he lost his mobility.  Although it was rough, I know he is in a better place.  Now Hunter has a lap to sit on.

 

4.  This Sunday would have been Hunter's 13th adoption day.  I have been emotional all week, I am sure hormones don't help.  We are supposed to do something but we haven't really pinned anything down.  I know it will be a pretty hard day for me.

 

5.  I haven't done so well on the weight loss front.  I am still around 123, which was my original goal but I would like to lose 10 pounds.  I have very little fill in my band.  I need to get that taken care of but for some reason I can't see paying $150 when I am maintaing goal.  I will email today and see what the schedule looks like.

 

6.  Finally joined a gym the first of this week.  While I was off on furlough I googled gyms to see if I could get rates and reviews and found a deal through my insurance.  For $25 a month I can go to any of the several YMCA locations in town.  Granted they aren't the closest gym but they have an awesome pool and some dance aerobics classes that aren't latin themed (so over Zumba).  I just got my card printed off yesterday because the website was jacked and my hip is still sore from the tat, also, no swimming for a few weeks.  I can't wait to try the aqua interval class.

 

7.  I have been walking!!  When I was off work I starting taking my pyr mix Libby on walks.  She loved it!!  Now she demands a walk before I go to work and one when I get home.  She does good on walks as long as it isn't trash day then she just drags me from one trash can to the next.  She has always been a daddy's girl so this gives us some time together.  Usually she comes home and jumps up next to her daddy and puts her head in his lap but at least she wants a little attention from me. 

 

The best thing about long walks is wearing them out!!  She is 11 so it doesn't take a whole hell of a lot.  Such a pretty girl.

 

8.  I just took a 15 minute nap at lunch.  I am pretty sure I could have slept an hour but I feel so much better.  I probably would have slept longer if someone hadn't come to check on me.  Thanks, but REALLY!!

 

9.  I am going to start going back to my counselor next week.  I haven't been since July.  I had an appointment right after my friend Marsha died and I just wasn't ready to talk so I cancelled, then I got sick for 6 weeks, then Hunter got sick and passed away.  I made another appointment after Hunter and the day I was supposed to go in was the day my uncle passed away.  I thought it was more important to spend some time with my dad who was pretty upset.  Then the whole shut down happened.  I am just now getting back to her and getting things set up.  I am sure she thinks I am a giant flake.

 

10.  Going to a movie tonight, not really sure what it is about.  Dennis wants to see it.  It is a documentary called Anonymous People and it has something to do with addiction recovery.  I am a huge nerd when it comes to documentaries so I am sure I will like it(I have the DVR set to record Blackfish, the documentary about Orca's in captivity tonight and can't wait to watch it).  I think Dennis and I could use an evening out of the house.

 

Ya know, come to think of it, it has been so long since I have been here I'm not even sure TTT is even a thing anymore....

 

9. 



http://hunterslumpycancer.blogspot.com/2013/09/leukemia-and-my-crazy-dexter.html

more bad news

http://hunterslumpycancer.blogspot.com/

Unfortunately there is no happy ending.  The vet told us we probably had 3 months but I found him dead Thursday at lunch.  We are lost without him. 








i 

New blog

I started a blog following Hunter's cancer and treatment. I will probably post to it more than my regular blog for awhile. 

SERIOUSLY?

I swear I am stuck in a nightmare. Just when I think things can't get any worse crash. Literally, I get into a car accident on my way to work. Oh, don't worry, it was all my fault so I get a $150 citation for failure to yield (I was turning left on a green and the lady going straight across from me was driving faster than I anticipated because she was putting make-up on) on top of whatever the repair bill will be. I am trying to get pictures uploaded from the new phone so I can post them. It appears to be cosmetic but I fully expect my car to blow up in the parking lot sometime before lunch. Yes both of us walked away from it without a scratch, both of the cars were driven away from the accident. I will probably get to drive Kermit around with a nice little battle scar for a long time. Regardless, I am ready to have myself locked in a padded cell and cry nonstop for a few days/weeks/months. again.

I went to my band doctor yesterday and had the fluid removed again just to be on the safe side. I don't have much in there but until I get my appetite back and the inflammation subsides a bit I want to remove that obstacle as much as I can. I know from experience that once everything is inflamed it will eventually effect my ability to eat and not get stuck. Just trying to be proactive. I need to call my GI doctor and see what I need to do to get a the swallow test booked. The lung doctor said something about it but didn't add it to the gamete of tests he wants me to do. OH, and my weight was at 121 after drinking my required amount of fluids and with my old lady outfit. I figure I am close to that 118 mark. I did get a couple of higher calorie meals down, under the recommendation of my band doctor. I took the Zofran for nausea and didn't have any issues. I am supposed to go back on drinking a protein smoothie for breakfast but that just sounds right now with the mucus taste that persists. Sorry I went there. Nothing sounds or tastes good.

Feeling human

I have been fever free for 6 whole hours!!! For the first time in a month I am starting to feel like I might live through this after all Believe me, there were times I doubted and times that I begged Dennis just to finish me off.

I got a lot of rest over the weekend. I went to Sam's on Saturday I didn't browse like I normally would, I got what I needed and left. If only I could stick to that plan more often. A normal trip to Sam's is at least $150 but I got out for $80. I have been browsing pintrest and finding lots of crock pot recipes because I know the first week or so back at work is going to be rough, it will be so much easier to have dinner ready when I get home. I should have plenty of stuff to keep us fed for awhile. When I got home I took a 2 hour nap. Guess it wore me out more than I thought.

Yesterday I was feeling ok so I went to the grocery store to get the things I didn't want to buy in bulk. Again it was a short trip but I literally slept all day when I got home. Maybe that is why I am feeling better? A little rest can work wonders.

Sunday morning and afternoon I had another fever spike of over 102. They didn't last like the others have and I haven't had any more issues. It is the strangest thing. I just hope it is over. I keep waiting to get that feeling; you know the one you get when your fever starts to get high? So far so good. I am dosing with tylenol and ibuprofen just in case.

I am finally starting to think about running again, I mean not like tomorrow but like it might be a possibility in the near future. I need to call and cancel my hotel reservation for St. Louis but I am for sure going to do it next year. I asked my dad to walk the Mother Road half with me here in Tulsa the Sunday before Thanksgiving. If I sign up on my own I know I will try and run it and I am not sure I will be ready. My dad is a walker and I might have to jog to keep up with him but it will keep me in check. Last year I PR’ed by 10 minutes and I don't want to push myself just yet. For now I am making plans for Little Rock - which I am calling the redemption run, this is the one I did 2 years ago and the guy collapsed and died as I was passing him, I helped render first aid for at least 30 minutes until they could get paramedics to him and another 10 until the ambulance got there. This is in March and I think I have a roommate lined up, I need to check with her, either way I really feel like I need a do over on this one. OKC is in April. I didn't do this last year but I will do it this year if I have to run it without any of my fellow running friends. Joplin is in May, it is also on Dennis birthday. I think he is old enough that he really doesn't care and I will home in time to take him to dinner. He might have to carry me though, something about a long car ride after a 13 mile run is hell on the legs.

The coolest thing I found is a half marathon in Yellowstone!! It isn't actually in the park but it is in West Yellowstone right by the west entrance. I have never wanted to do a half marathon so bad in my life!! Getting there will be a logistical nightmare. My parents love Yellowstone and would drive up there in a heartbeat. However, when I was a preteen and into my early teens I was forced to go on family vacations every summer with my little sister in a car packed so full you couldn't put your feet in the floor of the car. We drove for 2 weeks straight!! It was miserable; wake up at the butt crack of dawn eat breakfast ( I hate pretty much all breakfast food, the smell of eggs make me gag and pork cause gastro problems of epic proportions), stop for linner (late lunch/early dinner because it is cheaper) stay at a Motel 6 (otherwise known to a preteen as hell) get to the hotel right before dark then get up and do it all over again. Oh, plus you had to be quiet so my dad could sleep so he could get up and drive at dark thirty while the rest of us tried to sleep in the same room with my dad snoring so loud I am sure the people in the rooms around us could hear it. My mom isn't physically active so when we did stay a few days at Yellowstone we sat and watch old faithful go off 7,892 times. So, it may cost me $1,000 to fly but I am so not driving to Wyoming EVER AGAIN. Hell, I fly to Dallas and it is only 4 hours away. I think I have family vacation PTSD.

My appetite is finally starting to come back a little at a time. I am still taking a nausea pill before I eat but I haven’t had any issues!! Again, I blame the antibiotics. Dennis said if I am hungry at dinner time he will take me to my favorite dive...whose motto is eat more gravy. You can't go wrong with that!!

Tomorrow I am going to go in to work for an hour or so. Our RE attorney from Division is here and I have a lot of questions I need to ask her about a project that can blow up in our faces big time. Everyone is so in love with this multimillion dollar project that they don't seem to notice these little issues that can pretty much cause lots of problems when the sponsor tries to get credit for the work someone else is doing. Don't get me wrong, the project has the potential to be awesome but it can also get us in some legal hot water if they don't start listen to what I have been trying to tell them. I think having the big gun there might just force them to take a second look at the potential issues.

Wednesday is my appointment with the lung specialist!! I sure hope he has some definitive answers for me!!

Bring on fall

I am not around much because I feel like all I do is complain about being sick.  I mean it has been a month now, I'm calling uncle!!  When I do get on the computer it is for work and when I get home I just kind of pass out.  I am finally to that stage where I want to do things but it usually falls short in execution.  I know you guys are as tired of hearing me talk about it as I am talking about it.

On that note, if one more person at work comes up to me and tells me they understand how I feel because they aren't feeling well, they are getting punched in the throat as soon as I can muster the energy.  For one, I envy your allergy issues.  I understand it is miserable it's allergies, suck it up buttercup.  And, if you really are sick...stay the fuck away from me.  I am still having to lay down and rest in the middle of the day, I don't need your germs making me sick again.

OK, enough of that.  Well, really that is all I've got.  Right now I am working on getting an appetite back.  I am on antibiotics until the end of the week so even when I am hungry everything has that gross metalic taste.  Same goes for trying to get liquids down.  I would so stop taking the medication if I hadn't relapsed already. 

Next week I go to the lung doctor.  Not really sure what he can tell me that I haven't already heard but what the hell, I'm game. 

I have started thinking about the gym.  I let my gym membership lapse during the furlough so I think I will shop around a little.  I know there is a Gold's about the same distance as my other gym that has a pool, which I am sure will come in handy, but I have not heard anything good about it.  I haven't actually been inside so I need to go and judge for myself.  There is always the Y but the one close to me is in a really bad part of town, granted it has a nice pool, the other one is clear across town.  I went last year with a groupon but I had a friend going with me, I know I will not go alone. 

What I want is to wake up early and run when it is 60 degrees.  That isn't going to happen for awhile.  I am pretty sure I am going to have to skip St. Louis.  I am not making any decisions right now but seriously, I don't see a half marathon in me next month.  I have high hopes for finishing Route 66 in November but I don't see another PR.  I am going to call the fall running season a wash and start ramping up the pintrest training plans for spring.

Man I feel like a debbie downer.  I really am feeling better!!

Still alive

Thank you guys for the get well wishes.  It would be nice if the recovery process was faster but it just isn't happening.  They warned me in the hospital I would be down for awhile, they were right.

I went to my primary doctor on Thursday to check in.  She was not completely satisfied with the care I got.  According to her, they let me out way sooner than she thought they should have since I was not able to keep food down for several days after I left the hospital (thanks to the antibiotics).  She also thought that they release me to return to work way too soon, she ordered me to stay home on Friday and rest.  No problem there.  Last but not least she threw a fit about my hemoglobin level; which was 8 in the hospital.  She said that they should have been giving me blood transfusions with levels that low.  I'm not going to lie, that one freaked me out a little.  They tried to do a blood draw but couldn't get a vein to work.  They actually hit a nerve in my left arm and I told them NO MORE.  I have several bruises on my arm from all the stab wounds.  I ended up returning to the office on Friday and they got a vein on the second try with no pain, go figure.

For now I am waiting by the phone for the doctor to call and tell me what I need to do next.  Fingers crossed my hemoglobin has gone up enough that I can just do iron infusions and not blood.  Something about that really freaks me out a lot.  I am supposed to be working half days but I had a lot of thankless training to do so I am going to stay all day.  I know I will sleep good tonight.  I also expect to have to take off again for whatever the doctor decides to do about my blood. 

The baby puppy found a good home.  Her new parents have a lot of land and lots of ponds for her to swim in.  They said they were playing fetch with a tennis ball in the pond with her over the weekend.  Not bad for a 3 month old puppy!!  I would have loved to keep her but I can't save them all.  I told Dennis when I picked her up that she will only break my heart.  I think she is in a much better home than I could give her right now and I need to concentrate on my old guys.

There is nothing going on in diet and exercise.  I kind of have to force myself to eat still but it is at that level where I am not losing, my diet is not healthy right now.  I have dreams about running all the time.  Last night I ran from the BOK arena to Kohl's, which is about 10 miles.  I was meeting my sister there to shop.  I remember laughing in my sleep because I hate Kohl's but I was going to run there to shop.  Then I was mad because I woke up before I got to spend any pretend money.  Last week I dreamt that I ran a marathon but I forgot to set my garmin so I had to start over.  Too bad dream running miles don't count as real miles.

I will let you know when I hear back from the doctor.

pneumonia recovery and puppy breath

1.  I have been out of the hospital for a little over a week.  I worked every day this week but only half days.  I am so tired by the time I get home I sleep until Dennis gets home from work.  Then I am in bed by about 8.  This sucks!! 

2.  My hair is falling out from the 105 fever I had last week. blech.

3.  Today is my follow up appointment with the primary doctor.  Dennis has a list about 10 long of things he wants me to ask her.  She is going to love me by the time I leave.

4.  Despite getting over the horrible crud, I rescued a puppy earlier this week.  She is easily the prettiest little girl I have ever seen.

5.  Pictures!!

 This is her at the house I got her from.  This is the mom.  The poor little girl lived in a 2X4 cage by herself covered in fleas and ticks.  She is 11 weeks old and had never been to the vet or had a bath.

 Those eyes

 That sweet lab head bump

 Those puppy snuggles

 She loves to pose for pictures.

 wasn't the least bit shy about wanting your food

 again, THOSE EYES

 after a trip to the dog wash and the vet, she was worn out

 22.4 pound at 11 weeks!!

 doing what puppies do best

 seriously, those eyes!!

 more puppy cuddles after her bath

 taking her to her new foster home

she is going to be a monster!!

6.  I love her so much but I know that after being in the hospital last week I don't have the energy to chase after and train a baby puppy so a friend at work has her.  I think she is going to keep her.  I get to see her next weekend and I am so excited!!

7.  I am not looking forward to working 5 days a week 8 hours a day next week.  Of all times for the furloughs to be over.  That is if the doctor clears me to work 40 hours.

8.  Maybe my doctor will be able to get me into the lung specialist sooner.  I can't get in until Sept 11!!  That seems like forever from now.  I am know there are a lot of question I have that my regular doctor isn't going to be able to answer.  I can't believe it takes that long.

9.  Going to get my haircut tomorrow, I hope she can work some magic and make my hair look thicker.  I never had this problem with the weight loss so it figures I have it now. 

10.  Short and sweet cause I gotta get out of here and bring Coco (the puppies) toys to her new foster mommy.  Yes I already bought her toys, I am a push over that way.

Too sick to die

I woke up last Sunday with 105 fever. Dennis took me to the ER and they admitted me for "fever of unknown origin". After a barrage of tests they discovered I had pneumonia that wasn't being picked up on (at least) 2 chest X-rays.  3 days in the hospital. I am having problems keeping food down, probably because of the 2 different antibiotics I'm on. If things aren't better tomorrow I am supposed to go back. So don't want that to happen. 

Remember me?

1.  I can't believe it is Thursday.  I really can't believe it is the first of August.  I would love to have one more day this week to get some work done.

2.  I haven't done any "organized" exercise this week but I hauled limbs to the curb for 4 days straight.  I need to call the chiropractor and have him fix my shoulder.  It has always popped really easy; who knows why.  It is really soar now.  It's not like I don't have Monday's free.

3.  I start a new running program on Tuesday.  New groups always cause anxiety.  I am slow and I always have that "what if I'm the slowest" thought going through my mind.  This is though crossfit and it is supposed to make you faster so we will see.  One of my friends from the old running group joined too so at least I'm not in it alone.  It will be hot and the only thing that makes me more anxious than a new running group, is a new running group in the heat.  It will work out though and I need this organized training to help me stick to the training.  I have a half planned in October and November.

4.  I ended up having to have a little fluid taken out of my band Saturday.  I coughed all freaking night on Friday so I had .2 taken out.  I need to schedule another fill but I'm not sure what the financial situation will look like in a month.

5.  My weight is down about 5 pounds!!!  I wore a pair of 6's to work yesterday and they were too big.  I wore 4's today and they are a little tight in the thighs...kinda weird since I have chicken legs.  I have had to eat out for work and family obligations the last few days so I am glad I could maintain the 5 pound loss!!  I am sure the new running program will help as well.

6.  Work is out of control.  I get one thing off my to do list and add 5.  Not going to mention it again.

7.  I am going to my friend's daughter's (AKA favorite toddler) second birthday party Saturday.  I'm not around kids as a rule so I might have to have a drink or 7 afterwards.  FT is so cute though, I asked her how old she was a few months ago and she told me "I not 2", now she says "I happy!!.....2".  They are so fun when they aren't yours.

8.  My mom's birthday is next week and she wants us to go eat at Logan's steakhouse.  I have already starting looking through the menu to see what I can eat that won't be too hard on the old band.

9.  I have no plans tonight.  I am going to sit around and read with my little Sid in my lap.

10.  I am cutting myself off of root beer.  I have cut down to 1 a day but as of today, no more.  I am pretty sure it will help me feel less bloated and help my clothes fit better.

Wow that was fast....

9. 

Finally got my fill!!!

Holy cow where did the week go? 

Tuesday night I swear we had a hurricane blow through.  The only other storm like it I remember was when I was working Katrina recovery in ought five and Rita blew through.  Our power went out at 11 that night.  I stopped by the house at noon and the power was back on, a few minutes later Dennis got there to start cutting trees off the fence and storage building and it was off again.  We finally got restored at 7 that night.  This morning while I was getting ready it started to flash again.  My butt puckered a little but it didn't go out, thank god.  One of the building leases I manager for work had the roof blown off and I am bending over backward to get that taken care of.  What sucks about that, we got more rain last night and today so I sure hope the patches work.  Really strange weather for late July!!

I went to the band doctor yesterday.  I was supposed to get a fill at 5:45 and stay for the seminar and talk to them and answer questions.  Well Dr.
A didn't end up getting there until almost 8!!!  Don't get me wrong, I was answering questions and stuff but it still kind of pissed me off.  I got .7ccs though.  I feel tighter so I hope it is enough to get me back on track.  I was 131 this morning.  I am 19 pounds above my secondary goal and 8 pounds over my first goal.  I told Dr. A that this summer has been a shit storm and that I really think that the stress is making me hold on to the weight.  Granted I did go overboard when Dexter died, eating donuts and drinking root beer every morning but that didn't last and I am still gaining.  I am going to call next week and get a full blood work-up done including hormone levels.  I told him that when I wake up in the mornings my fingers are so puffy I can't get my rings on.  He told me that the stress hormone cortisol as the same effect on the body as taking prednisone and he thinks I need to step up the exercise to help with the stress.  I am going to try to get to the gym on a more consistent basis.  It has really been hard this last few weeks though with my friend passing away and the storm crap.  Hey, I can clean up my yard and not have to go the gym.  That will be a work-out!!!

I am going to get my hair done tomorrow.  I have to get my turquoise and purple streaks taken out.  It is just too expensive to maintain right now.  Maybe I can find something else fun to do this fall in time for race season.  I am sad to see my funky hair go but $40 a month adds up fast!!

I dropped my big girl off at the groomer this morning.  I don't know why that makes me so nervous but I am fighting the urge to call and check on her and she hasn't been there 3 hours yet.  This is my Pyrenees mix so it will take awhile.  She is getting hot spots again so I want to get her shaved down so I can keep an eye on it.  I know you aren't supposed to cut their hair but I can't stand to watch her all itchy and freaking out trying to get the undercoat ripped out.  I hope she will be ready at lunch.

OK, I better get busy.  Not sure what the weekend holds.  Lots of sleep hopefully!!

Have a good one!!

weekend goings on

I have been a really bad blog friend.  I have read posts but since I am not feeling really good about myself, it is hard to fack the positive vibe.  That is going to turn around.  I am getting a fill this week (fingers crossed) and I will be back to my normal sarcastic bitch of a self.  Right now I am sitting in my size 4 pants with them unbuttoned because they are so tight on my stomach it hurts.  Back on the program now!!  Maybe getting a fill is more psycological but so be it.  I need that feeling of control to not feel like a beached whale.

Just to proove how lazy I am, here is the post I put on the Calorie King site.  I am too fat and lazy to write another one ; /

Had a pretty good weekend, despite the rough start. For some reason there are lots of pictures.

Thursday night Dennis and I went to the VIP party at the Hard Rock. It was a lot of fun and I think even Dennis enjoyed it. There were two live bands and I really liked the first one, we left before I could tell much about the other band. They had typical finger food....chicken strips, fried mushrooms, meatballs, spring rolls, a huge table of fruit and veggies and chips and dips. The food was ok but the open bar was just what I needed. I'm not much of a drinker and I always get stage fright when I order, I have no idea what I like. I got a margarita and it was half a glass of tequila with a little of the mix, no way I could drink that. Dennis thinks it is funny that I'm a light weight. He told me the faster I drank it the less I would taste.  The next time I went up and asked for something fruity and they made me something called a jellyfish made with malibu rum. I drank two of those in no time flat. We decided that we should probably head home since I had the memorial service the next day and it would be hard enough without a hangover. On the way out I put $5 in a slot machine, I played for maybe 10 minutes and left with $8. I just can't stand to throw away money like that. I sent a text to the guys that also worked with Marsha and they went to the casinos too, Kim lost $100 and Rhonda won $2,400. Again, I am a light weight.

Friday was a very hard day. The chapel was packed and I got a chance to talk to the family and tell them how sorry I was for the loss. The service was pretty good. They told stories about her that made you laugh through your tears. She was a nut. There were a lot of former co-workers that showed up and we took pictures because you know how it is, that is the only time people seem to get together. Her husband had her friends come in and take the flowers home with them because they had so many. We were very reluctant at first but he insisted. I have a beautiful bouquet drying in my kitchen.



I will have to look at pintrest and see what I can do with the dried flowers. Afterwards about 20 of us went to lunch and had a really good time. I don't think I got home until almost 4. I was so tired.

Saturday I woke up wide awake at 5:30 again. I got up and went for a horrible and miserable run. My hair is long enough to put in pigtails finally!! My shadow was too funny. I wanted to get a picture of me looking like an overgrown 2 year old but the sun came up before I could get a shot. So I took a picture of my little pigtail.



That little ringlet curl just shows how damn humid it was.

I took Dennis lunch at work since I planned on being gone most of the night. I got home, changed clothes and headed out to the Center of the Universe. I got there early enough that I found a good parking spot and got my ID wristband and stuff with no problems. I had picked up my volunteer shirt and wristband on Thursday. There was a huge snafu that started on Friday night. They had three levels of "seating" the VIP zone ($165 per ticket), which had access to air conditioned Cains Ballroom, free beer, a large lounge area with live feed from the main stage, and real bathrooms. They had access to the front maybe 15% of the area in front of the stage. The next level was BOK zone (about $75 per ticket). They were SUPPOSED to have access to a few air conditioned bars and from 15-25% of the front of the stage. Free Zone for the cheap bastards who didn't pay was just everything else. As it turns out, OneRepublic started a huge problem because they said they wouldn't play unless they opened up the BOK area to the people who didn't pay. That caused a huge issue for the people that bought the second level tickets, as it should. They were allowing the people that didn't pay into the bars that was supposed to be BOK and VIP only and there was no longer a separate area in front of the stage. I volunteered at the will call/ticket office and there was almost a riot from the BOK ticket holders. They wanted to be upgraded to VIP but we couldn't do that because of the free beer thing and it would just cause more problems. This happened right before a popular band; that a lot of people were there to see, was about to take the stage. It was kind of a nightmare. I don't know why they didn't just let them go to the VIP stage area and not change the wristband. I just did what I was told. They are going to have to contact everyone who bought the mid level tickets and give them a refund. Talk about a mess. Volunteers got free reign of the place. It was totally worth kicking in a few hours and being able to drink free beer (I actually drank 2 after the ticket fiasco) the lounge and the front of the stage. My shift was over just in time to see Ok Go. They were amazing!! I didn't know much about them except for the cool videos they make (they did the video with the choreographed routine on 8 treadmills). I have a couple of their songs on my running playlist so I know I like them but after seeing them live I absolutely them. I totally have a school girl crush on the lead singer. There is a song they do on handbells (I know, right) and in the middle of the song a semi drove by and honked the horn. The singer looked up and got this huge smile on his face and it was all over from there.  Actually, here is a video of it, cutie pie
I didn't stay for Neon Trees. I was so tired and my back hurt - yes I am old. I got some food truck food for Dennis and I and went home to eat. I was afraid that going by myself would be awkward but it really wasn't. Not only did I see the band I wanted to see, I got to leave when I wanted. Here are a few pictures from OK Go





There are a lot more pictures on facebook.

Yesterday I had to take Hunter to get his arthritis shot. He is so freaking cute. I had a $100 bill so I drove through McDonalds and got him a breakfast burrito so the vet wouldn't have to deal with finding change. The burrito was really hot so I was blowing on it. He was being impatient so I gave him a small piece and this is the look I got

I love that boy. I took him to the regular vet because he has been really itchy and the vet and tech hung out in the room with him for 30 minutes giving him a big(ger) head. He is such a good dog. He got two shots and acupuncture yesterday so he was ready to go home. That is a big day for a 13 year old dog.

My plan was to get my swim bag and head to the pool. I grabbed my bag and headed back out. I stopped for lunch at the mall and when I got out the sky was really dark. By the time I got to the turn all chances of going swimming were a wash, pun intended.  You can see one of the water slides in the background....


Today is back to work as much as I liked getting paid, I really like a 4 day work week. I got my first statement with the reduced pay and it hurt. That was with only one day pay lost so it is really going suck next payday. I may set up a fund raising site for furloughed federal employees. Maybe I can get used to the reduced pay and when they want me to work 40 hours I can tell them to suck it!!

I have yet another appointment with the lap band doctor on this Thursday. I will be interested to see if it pans out this time. I hope he can help me feel like I am in control of my food again because I don't feel that way at all right now.

bring on the weekend

OMG I am so tired.  I slept horribly the last two nights.  I was up about every 30 minutes from 2:30 on this morning.  When I was still wide awake at 5 I got my ass out of bed and went for a 30 minute kinda run.  It was 73 degrees with 90+% humidity.  I did intervals and probably walked more than I ran towards the middle hilly part.  I had the brilliant idea of wearing my hair straight today, lol.  It took forever for my hair to dry and it was unruly by the time I got out of my car at work.  I tried anyway.

I had the strangest experience last night.  I went to walk on the TM and decided to stop at the Neighborhood Skank-Mart that was across the road.  I don't normally shop in that part of town because it is a little sketchy but it wasn't even close to dark.  Of course I was wearing running clothes (lets make these shorts long enough to cover everyone's ass cheeks and roomy enough to move in said no running short designer EVER), shorts and a tank top.  As I was walking down one of the aisles these two guys who where eating chips out of the package right there in the store "cat called" me.  I ignored them and kept walking.  There were kids screaming at the top of their lungs and pushing each other in carts, I could have recorded it and used it as a PSA for birth control.  I checked out with my debit card and got cash back.  As I was getting in my car starting to close the door a lady kind of comes out of nowhere and gets to where I can't close car door and asks me if I had a cigarette.  I have bad asthma and I am a (half-ass) runner so I instinctively blurted out "oh hell no" and she kind of was caught off guard and took a step back.  I shut my door and locked it.  There was a freaking stupid family behind my car loading their groceries and their kid was running loose so I had to sit there until I was sure they were loaded up.  The lady got into another car and drove off.  I told Dennis about it and he asked my what I did about the guys in the store.  I told him I would have been offended if I were younger but now that I am old and fat I told him thank you and offered him my number (just joking).  He told me that he highly suspected that the lady saw me get cash from the cashier and followed me to my car with the intentions of taking my purse.  She wasn't expecting me to respond the way I did (do I look like a smoker?) so it kind of caught her off guard.  Dennis told me I am not allowed to go to that store by myself again.  Fine by me.

I am not working tomorrow, it is the memorial service for my friend and I just took all day off.  It will be a hard day.  I hope it is an upbeat service.  Marsha was so much fun.  I hope they just have people get up and tell stories and don't have a preachy service. They planned the service for Friday at 12:30 because they knew she would want everyone to have an early weekend. 

Tonight I am going to a party at the Hard Rock Casino for the people that are volunteering at the Center of the Universe concert this weekend.  Marsha loved to go play slots, I am not a gambler; I'm a shopper, but while I am there I am going to put $10 or $20 in a machine for her.  If I win I will donate the money to the charity she supported.  I don't think she would have wanted it any other way.

The concert is going to be fun, I am looking forward to it. I am not taking my sister btw.  I hope they have me in the a/c because I plan on being out there all day Saturday.  They will have a tent set up with free food, beer, energy drinks, and of course water.  The good thing is I don't get really hungry when it is hot outside so maybe I won't overdo on the grub.  There is going to be food trucks there too, that is dangerous for me.

Still no luck getting an appointment for a fill.  A friend at work said Dr. Joe Bob does her husbands bypass aftercare.  I called and they want $400 for a fill!!!  I am really damn close to getting a needle and some saline and just filling it my own dang self.  Since Dr. A has been gone for 2 weeks I am sure that put him behind a month.  Who would have thought that such a simple little procedure would be such a pain in the ass?  It would be cheaper to just buy bigger clothes at this point.

Not sure what else the weekend has in store.  Maybe I will go hang out at the pool after the funeral.  Monday I have a counseling session and I have to take Hunter for his monthly arthritis shot.  I asked the therapist if I could bring Hunt if I am running behind and she said it was no big deal, she is a pet friendly office.  I kind of think it would be fun to take him since it will be a pretty heavy session after the loss of my friend.  I will have to see how he is doing though, at 13 he just doesn't get around like he used to. 

Hope everyone has a great weekend.

I am considering drinking heavily

Why must the universe kick you when you are down.  I get it, I must have really pissed off karma, but really, I am super sorry. 

I went to the doctor for my fill Thursday.  The appointment was at 5:45.  I walk into the office and it is like a ghost town, I didn't think much about it since it was late.  There was a lady at the front desk that I didn't recognize.  I checked in and she just looked at me like a deer in headlights and started to tell me where the waiting room was.  Yeah I got it, not my first rodeo.  She said she would have Roberta, the coordinator come and talk to me.  Turns out that Dr. A's wife had a baby on Monday and had cancelled all his appointments for the week, well all the appointments EXCEPT MINE.  I was so mad.  Roberta told me that he would be back Monday (yesterday) and to call and they would get me worked in.  I called them at 8 at they said to call back around noon.  I called back and she told me that Dr. A had decided to take another week off but they had arranged for a P.A. to come in from OKC and could I be there at 1:30.  At 12:45 as I was getting on the highway to go to the doctor when someone from the office called me and said that they couldn't do it after all and promised someone would call me back later that day to reschedule.  I haven't heard a thing from them. 

This on top of the last appointment where I took off work to see Dr. A and to have my crown fixed.  The dentist appointment was an hour after the fill.  After 30+ minutes of waiting I asked them how much longer and they told me about an hour.  I ended up leaving and coming back after the dentist and they still charged me $150. 

I was so upset when I left there I went straight to Five Guys and had me a little binge.  That will teach them.


I am really thinking about changing doctors.  I called a clinic nearby but they didn't answer and I didn't want to leave a message, plus the doctor's name is Joe Bob.  Maybe I can find a place that would take my insurance and it won't cost me out the butt to get an emergency unfill if that ever happens again.  I don't know what to do.  I am so aggravated with everything in my life right now that I need some reassurance that I am not being rash.

In addition to the band crap, I had to take Monster to the vet on Monday to have a growth removed from her eyelid.  It was causing horrible drainage and I know it had to hurt.  Poor girl is in a cone of shame.  In a way it is funny because she is so mean and ornery but I know she is miserable.

 

She finally crawled up on my lap and went to sleep.  I thought I was going to have to sleep on the couch with her but we got her settled into bed.  She got the cone off this morning somehow and I let her run around without if for a few minutes, just long enough to eat and drink (I don't think her head fits in the food bowl) and I put it back on her.  Man did I get some dirty looks.

Sunday would have been 2 months since Dexter died.  I was doing well, not great but ok, when I got a call from a friend at work.  We were watching a movie so I almost didn't answer it but something told me I should.  She told me that the lady I called my work mom passed away suddenly.  She retired about a year and a half ago and was only 62.  We were all in complete shock.  This is the kind of person that never met a stranger and was the life of the party.  She always got on to me because we were so much alike she knew what I was thinking and that if I thought it chances are it would come out of my mouth.  Lots of work trips, dinners out when the SOs were out of town, hell I even planned her retirement party.  Every time we had a work party she would come back up for the free food.  She will be missed so much.  Her memorial service is on Friday and I took the day off.  I am having a hard enough time working as it is but I don't think I will even do a good job of faking it that day.  Her husband said they planned it for Friday afternoon because he knew she would want us to be able to start the weekend early.  Damn, I really don't know how much more I can take.

I found out this morning that they think her death was caused from knee replacement surgery that she had 8 weeks ago.  If this is the case that is 3 people from work that have died from complications from knee replacement.  I am really starting to question why I run.  I know I will have to have a knee replacement someday, the doctor tells me every time I go in to get my orthovisc shots.  Maybe it is time to find a new hobby.  Again, I don't know what to do or think.

In spite of my weekend my food was ok.  Dennis was off Saturday, Sunday and Monday also so we spent some quality time together.  We were going to hang out at the wave pool on Monday but it was too cold.  Who would have thought that in mid-July in the south?  I did have a shopping binge and it was a good one.  I had decided last week that I am over Coach purses and I have a closet full.  I talked to my friend at work and told her I was on the prowl for a new trademark purse brand.  I perused the interwebs yesterday and found a Marc Jacobs bag I just couldn't live without.  I have no clue what I was thinking.  I can afford it now thanks to all the overtime I worked.  What I am worried about is mid-September when I am still furloughed and making $1000 less a month.  I am sure the purse won't taste very good when I have no money for groceries.  I probably just need to go through my old purses and sale them.

I was supposed to go to counseling yesterday but I just wasn't in the mood to talk so I cancelled it.  I am supposed to go next Monday.  I am sure it will be a tough one.

Sorry to unload on you guys yet again.  I am so ready of this summer to be over with already!!

Freaking UNCLE ALREADY

I weighed at work this morning.  It wasn't pretty and I really don't want to admit what the scale had to say.  Since April I have gone from a BMI that was hovering close to the underweight category to being just under overweight.  I feel stupid, aggravated, and just plain overwhelmed at letting myself get back up to 130 pounds.  I am about ready to throw in the towel and just admit defeat. 

Of course I feel fat and ashamed that all of my clothes are too tight and the weight is slowly catching up to me yet again.  Yesterday I felt like I literally crammed my fat body into the dress I was wearing.  Not a good feeling.

I am going to see my band doctor after work.  They want me to speak at the seminar they are having tonight but I really don't feel like I am the right person for the job.  Right now my attitude about life is just not good.  I am going to ask Dr. A if he can write orders for a full blood work-up to make sure that there is nothing physically wrong.  I go home from work, put my pj's on and am asleep by 9, getting out of bed is a chore.  I rarely eat dinner.  I know there has to be something I am missing.  I hate hot weather so it may just be the heat that is getting to me.  Granted I have been on an emotional roller coaster for a few months.  I am ready for the ride to be over!!  I am ready to weigh 108 again and have my size 2 pants and XS dresses fit and not feel like I stuffed 20 pounds of lard into a 5 pound bag. I don't/can't go out and buy an entire new wardrobe. 

Starting over sucks.

Twister Relief Concert and weekend update

The concert was amazing.

I am not a huge fan of country music but went through a phase in the 90's where I listened to it all the time.  Most of the artists there and/or the songs they played were all old enough that I knew them.  I got to hear some of my old favorites live!!  The trip was worth it just to see Garth Brooks and Trisha Yearwood.  The only bad thing is they played at 4 because they had to get to Vegas for a show that night and they only played like 6 songs and the sound wasn't the best quality at that time of day.  I am not complaining though.

I have heard there were about 70,000 people there.

Garth Video

My sister took this one, it gives an idea of how big the crowd was

Garth crowd

Friends in Low Places

I do love me some Garth. 

Willie Nelson is so freaking old he could hardly keep up with his own band (or it might have been Toby Keith's band).  He is still awesome though.  He did Angel Flying Too Close To the Ground which is one of the first songs I heard after Dexter died.  I cried.  Seeing Willie was a little overwhelming too so that didn't help either.  TK came out with some other people and they sang some old gospel songs, that too was beyond words. 

There were lots of other artists that played, most of them were from Oklahoma, which was cool.  One of the exceptions was Sammy Hagar

Red Rocker

Carrie Underwood was in Nashville but did a satellite feed.  She has a great voice but I am not sure why they even bothered.  I could have sat at home and watched her on TV.  It did give them time to set up for the final performance by Toby Keith and everyone was hot and tired so that was a good thing. 

I didn't think I was a big TK fan but he was great.  I would totally go see him play a full set.  I know a lot more of his songs than I thought I did.  I always thought he was a crazy redneck asshole but the man knows how to sing.  He also won me over by the support he showed his hometown and just the trouble he went to organizing the entire event.  He could very easily have just donated $1 million dollars and went on but he went above and beyond.  I am now a fan.  He also reminds me of my BIL who is really tall and big, stays about half drunk and always has tan lines around his eyes from sunglasses.  Here are a few of the videos from TK


Red Solo Cup how can you not like this song.  My mom had never heard it before.  I have no idea how that is possible.

one of my favorite songs of all times  I was so glad he played this one!!

We had been outside for about 8 hours, most of that time in the sun and my mom wasn't looking too healthy, so we left a little early.  I am scared of fireworks and there was a huge fireworks show so we told her I wanted to leave before they started so she wouldn't feel bad.  As we got about halfway around the stadium the fireworks started RIGHT BESIDE ME.  I almost ran to the car.  They were so damn loud. 

In retrospect, I kind of wish I would have went by myself.  My mom complained that the seats were too far away.  Granted, I usually have a knack for getting good seats but this time we were just lucky to be there.  My little sister complained about the heat and the crowd and just about everything in between.  When we got in the car she bitched about how loud it was.  I told her that if she thought that was loud it should probably be the last concert she goes to.  Then she started to bitch about how bad Willie Nelson sounded....he is 80 years freaking old!!.  Once we started home she was getting car sick and said she might throw up in my car.  I informed her the rule is, you puke in it, you get it detailed.  The food situation was aggravating too.  My sister has been logging what she eats and her weight everyday, she swears that she can tell from doing this what causes her to gain weight.  We were going to stop in Moore to eat lunch but the road construction made it difficult.  I got off at an exit and said this is it, we need to find something here because traffic is about to get unreal.  All we could find was a Mexican place and my sister refused to eat there because it makes her gain weight.  I kind of went off and told her that we were only going to eat lunch there she didn't have to eat it every day for a month.  I ended up peeling out of the parking lot.  We ended up at Red Robin and she ate a bacon cheeseburger!!   I really wanted to punch her in the throat.  One the way back my mom wanted to stop and get something to eat but my sister didn't want to.  We stopping at a convenience store and my sister got a freaking candy bar.  I think it goes without saying that I need some space from her for awhile.  Don't get me wrong, I had a great time and didn't let them get to me at the time, but I will think twice before I do something like this with them again. 

I was really proud of my mom though, she walked to the stadium and back without having to sit down and rest and she stayed out in the sun all day and held up like a champ. The news said that over 30 people were hospitalized for heat related illness from the event but she hung in there.  I was worried about her but she said she would do it again tomorrow.  Way to go mom.  Her having to walk as much as we did really made me realize how old and out of shape she is though.  Really sad to see.

I could write pages about that night but I will spare you the rest of the details. 

Thursday, on top of the fireworks, we had a storm with pea sized hail.  We put Marcy in her thunder shirt and she did pretty good.  We will use it a lot more.  We saw Lone Ranger (funny but lllloooooonnng) and ate dinner with the in-laws and the royal family and were still home by 9 to be with the dogs during the loudest of the fireworks..  So it was a busy day.  Saturday was the concert of the century and it took me all day Sunday to recuperate, my old ass hasn't seen that side of 2am in years.  Today was my first furlough day and I spent it at the wave pool.

It was surprisingly not busy.  I bought a book, like a regular paper book and sat and read.  I was out there about 2 hours and my legs are starting to get some color.  Not sure how I made it through the weekend without a sunburn!!

Tomorrow it is back to work.  So don't wanna but since it is the Colonel's last week I really only have 2 full days of work this week.  I think I can handle that.

I hope everyone had a great holiday!!

Same Sh!t......

I really haven't had a lot to say lately.  Things are pretty much status quo. 

My weight is still up in the mid 120's.  I am not particular happy about that.  I am trying to eat more mindfully.  I wake up with a new resolve to eat healthy everyday, sometime it lasts an hour, sometimes it lasts all day.  Every little bit helps.

Exercise has kind of been hit or miss too.  I did good last week but this week has kind of been a bust.  They are doing construction right under my window, removing the sidewalk so it is so noisy I go home with a headache everyday.  I plan every morning to get up and run before work but that isn't happening, I love my sleep.  This morning little Sidney was all nuggled up with me which makes it even harder to get up.

Yes he was laying his head on my face so he could get kisses.  Love that guy.
Thankfully I have a nice long break after today!!  I took Friday off and Monday will be my first furlough day so I get 5 whole days off!!  After all the OT I have been working I am so looking forward to the time off, even if I'm not getting paid for one of the days. July is jam packed and I am sure it will fly by.

The royal family will be here tonight (BIL, his psycho wife and the kid) so we will be expected to be there whenever possible.  A group of friends from the dorm I lived in for the college years are having a get together tonight but I'm not going.  It is at a restaurant that is a huge trigger for me and there are only a few going so I will wait until next time.

Tomorrow I am going with my parents and little sister to see Lone Ranger.  I have been told it isn't very good but it is 3 hours of Johnny Depp so how bad can it really be?  My sister said she watched Don Juan DeMarco 100 times before she even realized there were other people in the movie, lol.  I am sure we will be expected at the in-laws for dinner.

Friday I got nothing and I am pretty sure the in-laws are going to the lake or on a float trip.  Either way, I am not going with them so I will have a day to kind of clean the house and take it easy.

Saturday I am going with my mom, little sister and her BFF (our cousin) to the Toby Keith Twister Relief concert in Norman.  Besides Toby Keith, Garth Brooks, Trisha Yearwood, Willie Nelson, Carrie Underwood, and Sammy Hagar are going to be playing.  I am not a huge country fan but I do love Garth and have a lot of respect for Toby Keith.  I am sure we will have a blast.

Sunday....probably resting up from the concert.

Monday I need to take Foster to the vet to have her eye checked, she has a funky growth on the inside of her eyelid and it is making her eye goopy.  I might do this on Friday, just depends.  I want to go to the water park and just hang out at the edge of the wave pool and let the water hit me and work on my "tan" with SPF 50.  I need to find a waterproof case for one of my ipods.  The best thing, we all got an email saying that no one from work is allowed to contact us regarding work issues on our furlough day.  Therefore, I am going to do whatever I can to not think about work (or my lack of pay).

Back to work on Tuesday :(

Wednesday is our Col's going away lunch.  It is $13 for a catered dinner and I wasn't going to go until I had this light bulb moment that it only cost $13 for a half day off!!  So I signed up at the last minute. 

Friday is the Change of Command ceremony so that will be another short work day. 

Which brings us back to the three day weekend.  I hope to go see Despicable Me 2 and spend Monday at the water park again.

That Friday I am taking off early to volunteer at the first Center of the Universe concert in downtown.  One Republic, Mutemath, OkGo, Neon Trees, and a bunch of local bands playing all weekend.  Two concerts in one month, I haven't done that since my twenties.

I decided that I wanted to get one more fill before my money situation got dire.  I am going to go in July 11.  I don't have much in my band right now but there are times (like yesterday) when nothing wants to sit right.  I wasn't able to eat much and got the yucky not stuck or slime feeling but the too full what were you thinking feeling.  I probably ate too fast but I didn't eat a lot.  I am sure stress is the biggest factor in tightening up the band.

Hope everyone has a great holiday!!

Case of the Mondays

This working 7 day a week thing is just about to get me good and burned out.  One more week.

I didn't get exercise in over the weekend, but I kind of saw that coming.  Friday I gave blood and got my peekaboo colors redone.  The bright turquoise is so pretty.  I also stopped at my favorite pizza place, which just happens to be right next door to the salon.  I have never actually eaten at the restaurant, I go to the food truck, but they have an all you can eat pick two from salad, pasta, or pizza slices.  The slices come straight from the kitchen, no buffet.  It is amazing.  I did good though, I ordered one slice.  Not only was it a fraction of the price I didn't have the option of binging with the excuse that I didn't want to waste the money.  The one slice of roasted garlic with red rock salt was more than enough to fill me up.

I worked a little from home on Friday night and all day on Saturday.  I only have one installation left, but it is the biggest one.  Regardless I am starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel.  I am going to Fort Sill tomorrow and will stay 2 nights.  I am going to take my computer with me and work from the room since there is NOTHING to do in that town.  They finally opened a hotel that has room service!!  The thing about the hotels in the Lawton area, they don't have to be good to be packed since it is the town the base is in and there are basic training graduations almost twice a week.  Just finding a hotel can be hard to do.  I have a good friend at work who is a member of the tribe that is headquartered in Lawton and she told me that if I had gone last week I might have ran into Johnny Depp!!  He was adopted by her tribe and this is his second trip to that god forsaken place.  She has a picture of the two of them all hugged up from the first time when it was an invitation only party.  This time, she said, security was too hyper vigilant to get too close.  I had to remind her to stay away from my husband ;P.  Story of my life.

Anyway, Sunday I didn't do much of anything but sit around and read.  I wanted to finish Stephen King Under the Dome before the show started but I was interrupted by his new book Joyland (which I loved).  I don't think they will get to the part where I am in the book but you never know.  I am sure the show won't be nearly as good as the book but I still want to watch it. 

OMG I completely forgot about my temporary lapse of judgement Friday.  There was a living social deal for something called CrossFit Endurance.  From the description it is a running group that helps you build speed and endurance.  I posted on FB to see if any of my friends had tried it.  None had, but the lady I roomed with in Little Rock for the marathon last year was planning to sign up also.  The biggest reason I was kind of holding out; it starts August 6.  It is going to be surface of the sun hot and I am running on the TM now.  But, the full price of the training is $150 and it was offered through LS for $49.  I has just about talked myself out of it when I got a 30% off promo code text messaged to me.  So I signed up.  To run.  In August.  In Oklahoma.  With weekly time trials.  What the hell was I thinking?  I might die.

Not much on the schedule for tonight.  I have to do laundry and pack.  I will take my running stuff with me to use the TM at the hotel.  I may even take my bathing suite for the salt water pool but if the pool is full of kids I will stick to the TM. 

I hope everyone has a great week.

Tired Thursday

I so didn't want to get out of bed this morning.  I think I could have slept until noon if I could have.  I can't wait until next week when I finally get some time off and can get some rest, 5 whole days off of work!!

Yesterday was interesting.  I really liked the counselor, she was a lot like me in some ways and it made it easier to talk to her.  I ugly cried for almost the entire hour so I have that headache that comes from extreme emotional outlets; probably why I am so tired as well.  I felt comfortable giving her a glimpse into some of the insane things I have been doing and she told me it was all normal but not to tell everyone, lol.  She also told me not to listen to anyone who tells me to just move on, we all move at our own pace and she went through most of the same things I am going through.  I don't feel as crazy. 

I hadn't told Dennis I was going to the counselor but I did call him on the way home and told him where I was.  He actually sounded like he was either offended or that he got his feelings hurt.  He told me he thought I was doing better, and I am but that doesn't mean I don't feel insane at times. 

The funny thing is, she just recently started her own practice, she had worked in a clinic before, and has problems asking for money for her services.  She said she wasn't going to charge me and I told her that she kind of had to.  I told her to send me whatever forms she has and I will give her my insurance information and at least pay my co-pay.

My carefully planned day has kind of fell apart.  I was supposed to go to the dentist at 11 to have my permanent crown put on.  I am so ready.  My temporary crown fell off over the weekend and the first few days it hurt like hell.  It isn't as bad now but if it is difficult for a "normal" person to eat with the exposed pulp of the tooth, it down rights suck as a bandster.  Trying to chew food to the consistency we are supposed to chew food too is impossible.  I haven't had a stuck episode but I have had some very uncomfortable afternoons.  Anyway, I digress; the dentist called me and said the lab wouldn't have the crown there until 1.  I have a meeting at 2 that I can't miss so we had to do some negotiations on the appointment time.  I wasn't about to wait another day.  I didn't bring my lunch because I thought I would have to eat on the fly.  If they had to numb my tooth I was going to take advantage of the half price shakes today at Sonic.  I don't need to do that anyway.

So now I have to figure out my schedule.  I was going to check out the 10 gym and run on the treadmill after work.  If they do have to numb me up at the dentist I can't go run on the TM; I can't drink water and would end up spilling water all over the place.  If not I can go run after my appointment and work from home a little and be done a lot earlier than I planned on.

I am really disappointed in my weight.  I seriously can't get the pants that I had been wearing in April up past my hips.  I really want a fill but I can't justify the $150 right now.  The nurse said to call her and she would take care of it but I kind of feel bad doing that too.  Still, I can't for the life of me figure out why it cost $150 for something that takes less than 5 minutes.  The fluid and the syringe together are probably $1.00 or less.  Oh, well.  It will work out somehow.

One more day until I get to work through the weekend :(

To join or not to join

Last nights TM run really kicked my ass.  I was about half way through a 30 minute run when I just wanted to give up, my feet hurt, my shins hurt, I was just worn out.  I dialed the speed down from 5.6 to 5.5 and took it one minute at a time.  I didn't think I would make it through, but I did.  Could this be because of poor food choices, probably.  I really need to clean up my diet.

As I was leaving the gym, the girl at the front desk called me over and told me that my membership expired in March.  I have been going to the gym for 2 weeks now and she is the first one to say anything, lol.  Now I have to decide if I want to renew right now.  The membership is $25 a month but you have to sign a contract and with me being furloughed it is $25 I might not have.  I could get up at the but crack of dawn and run outside before work, but I am not a morning person.  I could also take my chances that one of the TMs in the workout room at work won't be busy when I get off.  I know I will join again but I'm just not sure if now is the right time.

Tonight is the first visit with the counselor.  I am super anxious about that.  I have no idea what to expect. 

I may not get all of my exercise in this week.  I am supposed to work OT again this week but since I have my appointment right after work I really can't do it today.  Tomorrow is supposed to be my run day but I will probably have to work.  Friday I am giving blood and getting my colorful streaks redone (yay turquoise!!) I can't really work out after giving blood, I will probably walk between the blood donation and the hair appointment though - we get 4 hours admin leave for blood donation, the only good thing about gaining weight is I weigh enough to donate again.  My plan is to do my longish 4 mile run on Sunday. 

be back later

always working

All work and no play makes me very cranky indeed. Probably one more full week of it and I will be finished with the project and won't have anything to work OT on. I am trying not to complain because I need the money for the dreaded furlough days. I will need my Mondays off after all the work I have done.

I still haven't heard anything on the appeal I submitted to try and get out of being furloughed. I'm not sure what their deadline is but I don't expect it to be approved anyway. I had to try regardless. If I do get approved I can have one hell of a shopping spree.

My weekend was not nearly long enough. I took Cassidy (aka Sassy Lashes) to the vet to get her diet medication refilled.





The clinic that I take my dogs to has 4 vets and I really like all but one of them, I call that doctor Dr. Doomandgloom. He is the one that tells us that one of our dogs may have a brain tumor if we bring them in with an ear infection. If he had been the one that had diagnosed Dexter I wouldn't have believed him at all (that wouldn't have happened, Dexter was partial to Dr. Reed, the female vet from New Zealand so we always made sure she would be there). Anyway, he made a big deal about how he doesn't like the diet medication even though it has worked in the past because it is too labor intensive. By labor intensive I guess he means giving the dog the medication once a day and bringing them into the vet to be weighed when they need the medication refilled? Instead he checked her thyroid. I am sure he will decide she has thyroid cancer before the end of the day. I will call Dr. Reed and talk to her after he tells me what the test results are. Her thyroid was borderline low 2 years ago.

I came back home and worked 8 hours. At least they are letting me do some of the work from home where I have plenty of help.

If you ever need a W typed repeatedly, Sidney if your man for the job. His stamina isn't the best though, after a few minutes of hard work pushing the "W" key he passed out,

I was a little jealous, so I had to lay down with him.

Yesterday we went to lunch with my parents. My dad is so freaking cool....

It was alright, nothing too stressing. We went to the in-laws for dinner, I really didn't want to go but I did. I found out the royal family* will be here the fourth of July weekend I hope to be out of town on the 6th so it might work out ok.

July 6th is a huge concert to raise money for tornado recovery. Toby Keith, Garth Brooks, Trisha Yearwood, Willie Nelson, and a few others are playing. I am not a huge country fan but I love Garth and Willie, and a few of the older Toby Keith songs. Tickets are only $25 so I am sure they will go fast. If things go my way I will be in Norman for that all day that day and can avoid the last day of royal family crap. With my luck I will miss another knock down drag out fight though. Tickets go on sale this Friday so I will know soon enough.

This week is going to be another busy one. I am going to work 2 hours OT tonight and probably Friday, 8 hours on Saturday and maybe 4 on Sunday if I need to finish anything up. Wednesday I am finally going to see the counselor, I am a little nervous about that. Thursday I get the permanent crown for the crown (during my lunch hour none the less) that broke when I was in Galveston and we have a town hall meeting with our Col. later that afternoon. Friday I am going to give blood so I can get 4 hours off work, I can really use that small break, then getting my turquoise, purple and blue streaks in my hair redone since they have faded. Oh, and I am going to try to get the tickets for the concert. I hope it goes by fast. Next week I get to travel to my favorite destination in the world, Lawton, OK.  As much as I hate Lawton, I am ready for a few days away from this place and away from the computer.

I actually did well with exercise last week. I ran on the TM Tuesday and Thursday, took a break from work and walked for 20 minutes on the TM on Friday. Saturday I got up bright and early and ran 3 miles. It wasn't early enough though, I thought I was going to die of heat stroke. I am so not a hot weather person. I might be spending a lot of quality time in the gym the next few months. I'm not sure what's worse; running 11 miles on the TM or having to get up at the butt crack of dawn to run in the still hot and humid outside.

*The royal family is Dennis’ brother, his wife and daughter.  For years everyone was expected to wait by the phone on the day they were going to be here for a phone call from MIL when they made it to the OK, MO state line.  We were supposed to race to the in-laws house and wait patiently for them to arrive and eat sandwiches.  I had a runaway one year and asked Dennis why the crap his mom thought we needed to be there after they had driven over 12 hour.  I would want to eat and go to bed.  I asked him if we were supposed to meet them at the state line with a police escort, a red carpet, trumpets, and bow before them; thus royal family.  MIL does everything in her power to make DIL and granddaughter happy.  Dennis said that since we don’t have kids we don’t matter, true dat.  The wife is a complete bitch who expects to be waited on; she is rude to MIL and allows the child to run wild.  The kid is maybe 12 now and she is much more mature then her mother. Mom is an alcoholic anorexic self centered person.   When we went to Dennis’ sister’s wedding in Florida they stayed with his other sister and her family in a huge house they rented.  They never offered to pay for anything and acted like it bothered her to leave the pool to socialize with other people who had traveled for the wedding.  She ended up getting into a huge fight with the sister they were staying with, like a literal screaming match because the sister that got married asked them to take the flowers from the wedding home and mail them to her since they had driven and everyone else flew and had limited space.  It got out of control and they ended up packing up and leaving right then.  I have so many stories I could share but I will spare you.   

Hope everyone has a great week.