Finally Friday

I spent the last three days thinking it was Friday, and I was really disappointed two of those days. It is also the fifth day in a row over 100 degree weather , so I think everyone is just hot, tired and over it.

I would say this is the first full week I have worked in a long time but I got a last-minute appointment with the TMJ specialist and took off at noon. More on that in a minute.

Coming into the office five days a week is really killing whatever was left of morale. Even the shrew is taking more leave than normal. I can tell she is super burned out and has actually become less shrew-like. My mom asked the other day if she was still there because I haven’t complained about her lately, lol.

A close friend of mine was recently diagnosed with breast cancer. Thankfully, it appears to be isolated, and the current plan is six weeks of radiation. She moved to Dallas several years ago, so I wanted to send her a little taste of home and hopefully brighten her day.

There is a store near my office with a ton of niche Tulsa-themed stuff, and they were having their semiannual 40% off sale. I stopped by during lunch one day last week and found a Tulsa skyline coloring book, a Tulsa flag paint-by-number kit and these vinyl stickers

Cancer is obviously terrible, but sending someone an insulting Oklahoma-themed sticker feels like a perfectly reasonable way to show support.

On the entertainment front, I spared Dennis from having to sit through Hadestown. I had already bought myself a solo ticket for Saturday, but then HMF texted and asked if I wanted to go with her Friday night after she found a theater that wasn’t sold out.  My other ticket was refundable, so I returned it and went with her instead.

Part of me wishes I had kept the other ticket and watched it again the next day, but 2.5 hours two days in a row is a lot, even for me. We both loved it.

We saw the touring production earlier this season and went in mostly blind. We knew the myth and obviously knew how the story ended, but the only song I really knew was “Wait for Me,” which is a banger that I play on repeat. I think knowing the story and what was coming actually made the show even better.

The whole cast was amazing, but the actor who played Persephone stole the whole damn show. She was perfect.

Dennis only thought he got out of watching Hadestown because I had already indulged in the pre-sell and snatched it up. His freedom was temporary.

It also looks like they are going to start releasing proshots of more shows, which makes me happy. There was a preview for a limited run of Six next month. It is one of those shows people either love or hate, and we are definitely in the love column.

It is showing the weekend of August 14, and when we looked up tickets, it was already close to selling out, so we bought them immediately.

As a matter of fact, I also bought myself a solo ticket to see it again the next day. It is only 90 minutes long, so it is not quite the commitment that Hamilton or Hadestown was. Dennis should really know better than to assume seeing a show once means I am done with it.

I still haven’t decided what I think about the new gym. It is like nothing I have ever done before. The machines don’t use regular weights or gravity. Everything is computer-controlled and uses digital resistance. The workouts are short, but they are definitely challenging.

I am pretty sure I have been the youngest person there every time I have gone. It feels more like rehab than a regular gym, but honestly, that might be what I need right now. It is not the first time an elderly person has shown me up, and I am sure it won’t be the last.

After weighing in at less than 85 pounds and not being able to eat or chew properly for the third week, I finally broke down and called the TMJ specialist my dentist recommended. Saying the appointment was life-changing is not an exaggeration.

They did a 3D cone scan, which was kind of like an MRI machine. The dentist came in and went over everything with me. He said the condyle, which is the little ball part of the jaw joint, is tilted at about a 90-degree angle when it should be closer to 30. He said it is congenital, so it has always been that way.

I told him the whole history of having headaches, jaw problems and terrible ear pain for as long as I can remember. My mom used to keep me home from school because of the headaches and ear pain, and the doctor would say I was faking it to get out of school. I have even gone to the ER because the excruciating ear pain but no one ever suggested that my jaw might be the problem.

He had me open and close my mouth normally, then repositioned my jaw into the way it is supposed to track. I’ll be damned. The relief was immediate.

Long story short, I am getting a repositioning retainer. Since the appointment, I have been trying to hold my jaw in the position he showed me, and it feels so much better. When I relax and stop thinking about it, it goes back to my normal bite and sometimes catches when I try to move it back. Still, I cannot believe this might finally be the answer to years of problems.

At that point, I probably would have signed over my house if he told me it would stop the pain, so the price did not exactly scare me off.

They do not take insurance, but they gave me a step-by-step guide for calling my insurance and filing for reimbursement myself. I did not expect insurance to cover any of it, but they said they will cover 65 percent. They are also trying to get an out-of-network exception approved since he is the only specialist like this in the area. If that goes through, they will cover 85 percent.   Ow we just wait for it to come back from the lab.

The bad news is I have to file everything myself. The good news is that if filling out forms means paying around $500 instead of $3,000, I will happily do it. I am a government employee. Forms are basically my life.

I also have to wear another appliance while I sleep in addition to the daytime retainer. It goes over my top teeth and has a little piece that keeps my bottom teeth in front of my top teeth. I can already imagine how well sleeping with all of that in my mouth is going to go, but I am going to give it a real try.

The biggest thing is that after he showed me how to position my jaw, I was able to eat real food for the first time in what felt like forever. I almost cried.

Thursday was my check-in with the rheumatologist. I saw the PA, but honestly, I like him a lot better than the doctor. We always end up having a 20-minute chat session. I told him about the jaw thing, and he said he sees a lot of hypermobility patients with TMD and TMJ problems but has never known where to send them. He took down the information for my new miracle man.

I was worried he would yell at me about my weight, so I gorged myself on Olive Garden Wednesday night. I also wore the heaviest short-sleeved sweater I own and ankle boots that I couldn’t easily take off.

That being said, I weighed 90 pounds.

Was some of it Olive Garden and strategic footwear? Probably. Did the scale still say 90? Yes.

Baby steps.

another boring post

 Where to start…

My mom had the Doppler ultrasound done, and they told her everything looked good. We still don’t know whether she had a small stroke that caused the temporary vision loss in her left eye or whether it was related to healing from cataract surgery, but there is no concerning buildup beyond what they would normally expect. She seems to be doing well, although she still looks a little off to me without glasses. I’m not sure how long it will take me to get used to her new face.

Dennis got a job offer as a part-time substitute in the small engine repair program at the vo-tech. Honestly, I think it is the perfect job for him. He has always said that if he could do it over again, he would want to teach gas engines at a vo-tech or secondary school. Well, here ya go. He is waiting for his background check and drug screen to clear, which should not be a problem. The drug screen usually takes a little longer because of the controlled pain medication he takes through a pain management doctor, and that is always when Dennis starts to get nervous. I keep reminding him that it is prescribed and they just have to verify it. He should start training sometime next month.

As for me, I’m not sure whether I had a virus last week or the parasite that has been all over the news. I went home early from work Monday and called out Tuesday and Wednesday. I have also been going to physical therapy and a massage therapist to try to get my jaw functioning correctly. It does not hurt the way it did, but the constant popping and catching make eating extremely difficult. I finally called my dentist, and he referred me to a TMJ and sleep specialist who, naturally, is not on my insurance. In fact, I could not find a single in-network TMJ specialist, even in Oklahoma City.

My next step will probably be calling an oral and maxillofacial surgeon and crossing my fingers that they treat it. What I have been doing has helped with the pain, but it seems like it may be time to focus more on the joint itself. At my last massage, he got it to pop “back into place” and declared me cured. That was very short-lived, but at least I was able to eat that night.

Because eating has been so difficult, my weight is at an all-time low. My home scale said 84-something, which I hoped was wrong. I weighed myself at the gym Wednesday afternoon, fully dressed, and it said 86, so unfortunately the first number was probably not far off. Between being sick, the jaw problems and the weight loss, going to the gym has felt nearly impossible. Wednesday was my first workout in two weeks. I redid my strength test, which helped, but the number of repetitions was locked and could not be changed. I finished the workout, but it was not easy.

I am probably going to put my YMCA membership on hold for a while. The sauna is broken, which, honestly, just go outside, and they have been closing the adults-only women’s locker room off and on. There is a family dressing room, but I really do not want to use it. The Y also has a nice pool, a big slide and lots of kid-friendly features, which means there are approximately 700 children there at all times. There have even been kids under 13 using the treadmills and bikes while yelling across the room at their parents or friends. It is just a lot.

I started looking at fitness options available through my insurance and found a small private gym that uses Exerbotics machines. They work somewhat like the EGYM equipment, but the machines adjust to your ability throughout each repetition and focus more on higher effort, heavier weight and fewer reps. As much as I did not want to fall into the personal-training trap, I think it might be good for me to try it for three to six months and then possibly return to the Y. The drawback, of course, is the cost. Through my insurance, four sessions a month would be $114, and I would have to pay extra to add a second workout each week. I cannot imagine that one workout a week would be especially beneficial, but since this month is almost over, the four included sessions should be enough while I figure out the additional day.

Last weekend, Heather had an open house at the studio she shares with a few other photographers. It is part of an artist collective in an old warehouse, and the space is really nice. About 10 minutes after I got there, a storm rolled in with torrential rain. I had just read Jay’s comment about missing thunderstorms and briefly thought about hitting record so he could hear the thunder echoing through the warehouse. Heather had coordinated the open house with an offline vintage market, so even with the weather, the place was packed and she had a great turnout. It is a monthly event, and Laura and I are planning to go back next month.

Speaking of vintage, here is a picture of the dress I bought a few weeks ago. I took it in to be altered and holy schnikes. I have not paid for alterations in a very long time, and I was floored by the price. Granted, the dress has a lot of silk fabric and needed to be taken in on both sides, but I may never again buy something that requires alterations, lest I pay more for the alterations than I did for the dress.

Other than that, life has mostly consisted of the usual work, home and mom duties. I am nothing if not predictable.

Saturday, I bought a ticket to see Hadestown at the movies. Dennis said he might want to go, so I told him to watch the trailer before committing. It held his attention for approximately 45 seconds. I explained that the show is two and a half hours long and mostly sung through, so if he could not make it through the trailer, it might be best for him to sit this one out.

I do not mind going to the movies alone, and I cannot think of any friends who would particularly enjoy it. I also did not feel like doing the whole, “What time do you want to go?” “I don’t care, what time do you want to go?” routine. The real tragedy is that I am not sure popcorn will be doable with my jaw. And since it is not a sing-along, I will have to keep my terrible singing voice to myself.

Okay, lunch is over. Time to get back at it.

Just lifeing

Life has been life-ing. I feel like I am always running around doing stuff, but none of it has been particularly interesting.

We survived the evil loud Fourth of July holiday, which was probably my biggest accomplishment. We had a terrible storm right at nightfall, and I’m still not sure if that made the fireworks better or worse. We drugged Bailey, but he remained thoroughly unamused. I woke up around 1 a.m. and some jackwagon was still shooting them off. I still hear a few here and there, but thankfully they are finally starting to go away.

We had a terrible storm right at nightfall, and I’m still not sure if that made the fireworks better or worse. We drugged Bailey, but he remained thoroughly unamused. I woke up around 1 a.m. and some jackwagon was still shooting them off. I still hear a few here and there, but thankfully they are finally starting to go away.

It has been an odd summer. We had another bad storm this past Saturday. I did my normal Sunday morning errands before the church people got out, and there was quite a bit of tree damage. I wasn’t expecting it to storm, so Bailey raw-dogged it. He only freaked out once, and to be fair, it was a huge clap of thunder that made me jump too. I have never been so glad I replaced my roof last year.

Going in reverse, assuming I can remember anything else from the last few weeks…

I did my mom date Saturday morning. There is a porch bake stand a few miles from my house that gets stocked on the weekends with fresh cinnamon rolls, cake pops, cookies and various little snack cakes. I made the mistake of stopping there on my way to Mom’s a few weeks ago, and now she expects a cinnamon roll every time I come over. Honestly, they really are that good. Dennis is obsessed too.

I

Mom finally had cataract surgery on both eyes, and for the first time since she was a kid, she doesn’t need glasses to see. I told her this was unacceptable because after more than 50 years, I’m not sure I can get used to her without them. When she went with me to pick up my new glasses a couple of weeks ago, I offered to buy her some frames with plain glass in them. She declined. It is genuinely strange seeing her without glasses.

A couple of weeks after her surgery, she lost vision in her left eye for several minutes. She did not freak out nearly as much as I would have expected. That is the thing about my mom. She freaks out over every minor inconvenience, but when something genuinely serious happens to her, nothing.

My younger sister and I are pretty concerned. Mom didn’t even call the doctor because she was already scheduled to get a shot in her eye a few days later. Heather took her to the appointment and made sure they knew what happened. They adequately scolded her for not going to the ER and scheduled her for a Doppler.

She has also been reluctant to leave the house lately. I thought it was because she wanted her eyes to heal before riding around in a car and risking motion sickness, which she gets pretty badly. Now I’m not so sure. When I tried to get her to go do something this weekend, she said it was too hot. Granted, it is hot, but the car has air conditioning. I guess we will see.

She turns 80 next month, and apparently if I don’t start planning something, no one will. FML.

After leaving her house, I was supposed to get my nails done, but I canceled. My friend’s birthday is next week and she is going out of town. I was her last appointment before the trip, and I could tell she regretted suggesting that we hurry up and squeeze them in. She was very happy when I canceled.

Instead, I went to my favorite thrift store because they were having a one-year anniversary party. The place was packed, which made me happy. There was a newish girl working whom I hadn’t met before, and she was a hoot. She started pulling all kinds of things for me, including a perfect vintage dress.

When I tried it on, about four women were standing nearby, and every one of them said they would hunt me down if I didn’t buy it. It’s a mixed-media sort of thing with a polyester bodice and a silk skirt slit way up the front. It would need shorts or something underneath it. The bodice also needs to be taken in, and naturally, it is too long for my short ass.

One of the spectators gave me the name of a seamstress near my office, and the entire dressing-room committee decided the skirt should be turned into palazzo pants. I’m hoping to take it by there after work. I am so excited to see whether this works because it could be amazing.

Work is insane right now, which is part of the reason I haven’t updated. Once I get home and away from screens, I don’t want to get back on a tablet or laptop until I absolutely have to. Luckily, nothing major is going on. It is just the staffing shortage, high water from the storms and approximately 900 things that need to be done at the same time.

It isn’t all bad. The days go by quickly, and I can leave an hour early three days a week to go to the gym, assuming work doesn’t interfere.

Speaking of the gym, I am officially out of the honeymoon stage. I hate it with every fiber of my being. If I weren’t getting the hour off work, I’m not sure I would go.

The first cycle went really well, but then the machines made me redo my strength test. The new weights have been a struggle, especially paired with the TMJ flare-up. At this point, I would almost rather stay at work.

I decided the strength test must have been a fluke, so last week I redid it, thinking the machines would adjust everything back to a reasonable level. I’ll be damned if that motherfucker didn’t increase my weights again.

I can do the first 12 reps just fine, but the last eight kill me. Obviously, I am only doing one round right now, but I would almost rather do two rounds of 12. I don’t know if there is a way to set it up that way, but there needs to be because this current arrangement is bullshit.

The TMJ is slowly getting better. I found a place that does TMJ massage, and it was certainly an experience. I went in blind, able to open my mouth about half an inch before it stuck and hurt. The entire left side of my face and scalp was also sensitive to the touch.

This man stuck his big ole man hands, gloved thankfully, into my mouth and manipulated my jaw like he was trying to separate it from my body. It hurt so bad, but when he finished, I could open my mouth all the way.

I went back a second time, and it was much less dramatic. I canceled physical therapy because I feel like the massage is working better, and I’m going back again next week. My face no longer hurts, and the clicking had gotten much better, but it has returned over the past few days.

I was talking to Dennis earlier while he was sitting across the room. He did a double take and asked if the noise he heard was my jaw. Then he told me I needed to get it fixed.

Thanks, Einstein.

I had just started eating crunchier foods again, but it looks like I’m going back to soft foods.

It hasn’t helped that my appetite is gone again. This happens every summer when it gets hot. Eating becomes a struggle. I had made it back up to a little over 90 pounds, but now I’m down to 86 again. People had even started commenting on how “toned” I looked. I know the weight loss and the gym struggle are probably related, but so far nothing has helped.

The medication change was also a big failure. The medication it replaced helped with my ADD, and I could definitely tell a difference without it, but I probably could have learned to adjust. The deal breaker was that the new medication muted my taste buds, so nothing tasted right. What is the point of having an appetite if nothing tastes good? I gave it a month and then noped right out.

There are at least a few checks in the win column.

Dennis has an interview Wednesday for a substitute teaching position in a vo-tech small-engine repair program. This would pretty much be his dream job. To each their own.

I think I have talked him into looking for part-time work instead of another full-time job. Between his health and his mom’s, I’m not sure he needs to be tied up 40 hours a week. We will see how that goes.

HMF and I also saw the final show of this Broadway season, The Notebook. It was meh.

I was worried about how she would handle it with her dad having passed away so recently. We agreed to see how the first half went and leave at intermission if she needed to. She had one small emotional moment, but it wasn’t terrible, so we decided to stay.

All that buildup about bringing tissues was for naught. The cast was great and the vocals were incredible, but it went completely off the charts on the sap meter. Not my style at all.

The new season starts in September with Spamalot. HMF has parents’ weekend in Waco, so she won’t be able to go. I’m also going to have to move my tickets to a weekday because I got tickets to see The Outsiders in Denver on the day of the Tulsa show. 😬

Brooke and I are makin