Catch up

Not sure where to start since I haven’t checked in for a minute.  Things have been pretty busy and just keeping up with life seems like too much somedays. 

I got the splints/retainer for the TMJ a few weeks ago.  It really helped almost immediately. I have one for the day and one for night.  Both are hard plastic.  The daytime one goes on my bottom teeth and I feel like I am having to learn how to speak again, lol.  I’m not sure where to put my tongue.  It is getting a little easier but I still have problems with enunciation.  I know it will take awhile.  The top on is even thicker and has a little ledge, like beaver teeth, that forces my lower teeth in front of my top teeth.  It causes me to have the strangest dreams.  As a matter of fact, the first week I had it I must have taken it out in the middle of the night and yeeted it because I already lost it after a few days.  No clue what I might have done with it.  It’s not out of the realm of possibility that I tossed it out the door.  I had to go in and have the daytime one adjusted and ordered another one.  It was an expensive lesson.  I need to figure out a way to tether this one to me in some way.  Last night I dreamt that I had a thick film stuck to the back of my upper teeth that I couldn’t scrape off.  I woke up to it not in my mouth but it was on my pillow.  If I lose this one, I will not pay another $1K for another one.  But, the first morning after wearing them, I went to brush my teeth and realized, after being able to open my mouth without my jaw catching or with a sudden pain, that maybe I had been struggling with it more than I thought.  I have been able to eat like a normal person for the first time in a very long time.  Being able to just eat without thinking about it feels weirdly luxurious. I’m still a little nervous about anything like hard pretzels or taffy, but at least mashed potatoes are no longer one of my primary food groups.

Backtracking a little, me and my sister Barbie went to a regional performance of Oklahoma as a part of the route 66 centennial stuff.  It ran every weekend for a month and we were lucky to get tickets.  The show was very good and I learned that my sister had never seen the show before either on stage or tv.  I told her that as local and musical theater geek we were going to have to revoke her card.  They had an optional bbq dinner before the show with a cabaret of some of the cast.  Luckily the food was pulled chicken and mashed potatoes so I was able to eat a little.  We had a lot of fun.

The next day was my mom’s 80th birthday and met for lunch with both of my sisters, my BIL, and Dennis brought his mom.  It went a lot better than I thought it would and I think everyone had a good time.  My mom was surprised to see Barbie and Scott since they are normally at the lake on weekends without fail.

The first weekend with the retainer, I met HMF for lunch and a movie before she made the transition to living primarily in Waco.  It helps to have friends that teach speech pathology, she tried to help me figure out how to talk a little plainer.  We saw the proshot of Six and it was pretty good, not nearly as good as Hadestown.  It is much better live, but it was still good and we had a blast.  After I met my sister Laura and Heather at a vintage market that they hold every month.  I got made fun of mercilessly, so I mostly just stood around.  It was fine but it was so hot and crowded I mostly just wanted to get under the ac.

I had a routine doctor’s appointment to approve my add medicine.  I was up to 90 pounds and he seemed to think I looked healthier than I had in a while.  He said he didn’t notice my Cindy Brady level lisp, but I mean, I doubt he pays that much attention either.  Nothing of note, just come back in 3 months.  

Dennis is on my last nerve.  He went through the orientation for the vo-tech substitute job late last week.  They called him twice but they required a pin to accept the call and he can’t get it to work so he is ready to just throw his hands up.  He tried to get sympathy because there were so many systems with different passwords…um, yeah.  I filled out all the paperwork and forms for him and I’m not sure he even really wants to work.  If he doesn’t, that’s fine but stop pretending like you do and letting me waste my time.  When I got home from work on Friday I offered to help him get signed in and he said not to worry about it but when they called today and he couldn’t get it he was all riled up again.  I told him that if he doesn’t call them or go by and have them help him get logged in I don’t want to hear another word about work, jobs, technology, NONE OF IT.  When I complain about my job I get the ‘at least you have a good job’ crap and I really want to just scream.  I know there are some underlying factors at play but it doesn’t help me in the moment and when he isn’t trying to help or fix it, I’m done.  My patience has done run out. 

The workouts are staying consistent.  I have been at least once a week since I started going to the old person gym.  Still not sure how I feel about it.  The fact that it is only 30 minutes is a bonus.  They also are fine with you staying in street clothes so that cuts time too.  But also, it’s only 30 minutes, is it really helping?  The computerized machines have a sensor so it adjusts the weights automatically but the few things that are stand alone seems like they are not setting me at a challenging zone.  They don’t count reps, they set a timer for a minute and a half.  The one thing that it has going for it is it does require constant muscle engagement during the entire set.  By the time I am finished with leg press I can tell I have done something.  I’m not sure how much longer I am going to stick with it before I go back to the Y.  Now that school has started the wild banshee kids shouldn’t be a problem. 

Let’s see, what else.  I got my hair cut and decided to do something a little different.  Still playing around with it to figure out how to style it.

My show was in OKC this last week and I swore I wasn’t going to spend the money to go see it for the 10th time, especially since I am going in a few weeks in Denver.  However, I glanced at the box office site to see if they had a lottery because I thought it wouldn’t hurt to try and see if I get pulled for a cheap ticket.  They didn’t have a lottery but for some reason they didn’t release the pit tickets until the week of the show.  So what did I do over the weekend?  I took Heather to see the Outsiders since I got front row seats. know seeing the same show ten times sounds completely ridiculous, and I don’t really have a good explanation for it. There is just something about this show that makes me happy on an almost cellular level. The first time I saw the tour in Tulsa is probably something I will never be able to duplicate. It was the tour kickoff, S.E. Hinton was there, I got the book, and the whole experience was just one of those perfect little moments. I think maybe I’ve been chasing that feeling ever since. I know I’m never going to recreate it, but apparently that hasn’t stopped me from trying.   I have sat  front row several times but I think the stage setback was a lot closer this time because I am still finding fake gravel.  At one point the I am almost sure the guy that plays Two-Bit intentionally kicked wet gravel right at us.  We were covered.  It’s about a 2 hour drive back to my house but when I took my clothes off that night there was wet gravel stuck to my stomach under my waistband.  When I got in my car yesterday morning it was all over my car seats.  Heather said she found some in her bed this morning.  It was pretty awesome.  I thought about getting season tickets for their season so I could have a better chance at pit tickets, I would have been pissed if didn’t give season ticket holders an advantage.

So I guess that’s about it. I feel like I have been running around constantly while simultaneously accomplishing absolutely nothing. But I can eat again, I’m still making it to the old person gym, my mom turned 80 and apparently getting wet fake gravel kicked into my underwear is enough to make me ridiculously happy.

Normal stress

We had a temporary break from the terrible heat last weekend, but it was very short-lived. It only got a touch over 90 for three whole days. We are apparently making up for it now because it feels hotter than ever, with no end in sight for the foreseeable future. This is the time of year that makes me cranky. Come on, fall!

It is strange seeing kids going back to school while it is still stifling outside, but I guess it has always been this way and I am just too old to remember.

Surprisingly, my mom did not want to do anything last weekend. I told her my jaw was actually feeling better and I was able to eat, but she said she had not slept well and thought she might have a kidney infection. I ran to the market where I pick up my meals and called her again to check on her since it is about halfway to her house, but she was still being dismissive.

I went home, put up my food, and continued with my weekend errands. I had picked up a watermelon from my dealer and needed new airtight containers to store it in after I cut it up, so I stopped at Dollar Tree and some home-store closeout place I had never been to. Both stores were overstimulating, and Olive was extra cuddly, so the rest of the day was spent on the couch with my sweet baby angel

Took some time to play in the water with my sweet boy

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I had four glorious days without pain or catching in my jaw, and I took full advantage of them. It all came to an end on Monday when I got a call from my mom around noon telling me my cousin was taking her to urgent care for the suspected kidney infection. The doctor there said he saw something that looked “suspicious” and was calling an ambulance to transport her to the ER.

I obviously freaked the fuck out and left work immediately. I actually beat her to the hospital. She told me on the phone that she was not sure why he was sending her, or why he felt it was necessary for her to go by ambulance, because she did not feel any worse than she would have expected to feel with what she was being seen for.

 

I had already told Brooke earlier that day that my anxiety was in overdrive for no particular reason, enough that I took a Valium. This did not help matters at all.

My younger sister and I met in the hospital lobby before they got Mom processed. We went up to ask the security guard whether she had been admitted yet and saw her stumbling out of the back into the waiting room. We ran over, and she said they had told her to wait out there. They did not even get her a wheelchair, which she would have needed on the best of days. They would come get her for various tests and then send her back out to wait.

Finally, around 6:00, they called her back to a room. When the doctor came in, he seemed confused about why the urgent care doctor had sent her there. They gave her a round of IV antibiotics and discharged her. The whole thing was just weird.  She seems to be doing okay now, but she is still convinced the urgent care doctor tried to kill her with inconvenience.

We left a little before 7:00, which is record time for that ER. However, it was also kind of an exercise in futility. At her age, I would rather a doctor overreact than underreact, so I am not complaining, even if my mom now swears she is never going back to that urgent care.

For some odd reason, the whole episode kicked off another flare-up with my jaw, and eating is now back to being a series of pain, clicking, and catching. Ugh.

I have also started feeling apprehensive about the splint the dentist is having made. At the time, I was pretty desperate for relief. I still am, and I was willing to pay whatever it took. Now that I have had some time and space to think about it, I am second-guessing myself. I am putting a lot of faith and money into this, and there is still a chance it will not work.

He told me it would take two to three weeks to come in, although there is a chance they could have it ready in as little as 10 days. I have never had to wear anything like that during the day, and the thought of having it in constantly makes me incredibly anxious. I am also sure eating with it is going to be another whole thing to figure out, which is especially fun considering eating is already complicated enough.

I had to cancel my gym appointment Monday because of everything with Mom. To be honest, it feels like lying to call it a gym. They did not answer, so I left a message. I tried calling again the next day and got the same message, and the same thing happened the day after that. I finally broke down and stopped there on my way home from work.

The number in my recent calls had them listed with a prohibited symbol beside it. When I called them while I was standing there, the call went through and the symbol disappeared. I tried texting, and that still did not work. Their app is not working either, so I was about this close to canceling. I am not paying all that money and then not being able to get a workout in.

The receptionist gave me her personal number and told me to text her if I had any issues. I mean, that was sweet, but I should not have to do that. I am still not sure how I feel about the place. Do not get me wrong, the last couple of reps are a struggle, but the workout is so short that it does not feel like it could possibly do anything. I am treating it more like physical therapy until I can build enough strength and stamina to go to a real gym.

The biggest work drama for me was my keyboard biting the dust in the middle of typing an email. It is funny how many times I turned it off and back on, changed the batteries, and beat it against my desk before I finally accepted that it was dead. It is not like we do not have new keyboards available, either.

I broke down and picked out one that can connect through Bluetooth, even though Bluetooth is pretty worthless because it is blocked on all our work equipment. I do have one tablet that is not on the network that we use as a “gap,” so I am hoping I can pair it with that.

Regardless, I got it set up and started typing. There was a little bit of a learning curve because it is different from my old one. Apparently, I had gotten used to slamming on the keys because I realized I can barely touch the new ones. That is annoying sometimes.

One difference I did not notice right away was that the new keyboard did not appear to have a Windows key. I use the snipping tool constantly, so I had a little tantrum, boxed it up, and took it back to where I got it. The analyst who sits near that area asked what was wrong with it, and we sat there trying to figure it out because if it did not work, it was basically trash.

I ended up taking it back to my desk. I had used ChatGPT to help me troubleshoot it the first time, but it neglected to tell me the keyboard has both PC and Mac modes, and it was set to Mac mode. Problem solved, but man, what a disruption that was.

This weekend is going to be busy. Tomorrow, my older sister and I are going to see a regional production of “Oklahoma!” with barbecue and a cabaret performance before the show. We bought the tickets late, so I am not sure how good the seats will be. It was nearly sold out, and I did not have much to choose from.

Saturday is my mom’s 80th birthday, and planning it has been a headache. I originally planned on taking everyone to one of the really nice steakhouses, but then people started telling me who else I needed to invite. I am more than happy to plan a nice dinner, but once the guest list started creeping toward a dozen people, I decided we were going to Texas Roadhouse. I know that is really bad of me.

I also got a text from Heather saying Mom has been hinting that she wants a massage. I told her that would have been nice information to have before I bought her a laptop. This is why I hate being the one who plans this crap.

Sunday should be pretty relaxed. I am finally getting my nails done after six weeks. My nail friend went on vacation for her birthday, and I was supposed to go the day before she left. I knew I was her last client and that she had packed a bunch of people into her schedule, so I told her to cancel my appointment.

She was very grateful and told me she would call me the day she got back to work. That did not happen, but no big deal. She finally reached out, so here is hoping she has something awesome in mind.

Finally Friday

I spent the last three days thinking it was Friday, and I was really disappointed two of those days. It is also the fifth day in a row over 100 degree weather , so I think everyone is just hot, tired and over it.

I would say this is the first full week I have worked in a long time but I got a last-minute appointment with the TMJ specialist and took off at noon. More on that in a minute.

Coming into the office five days a week is really killing whatever was left of morale. Even the shrew is taking more leave than normal. I can tell she is super burned out and has actually become less shrew-like. My mom asked the other day if she was still there because I haven’t complained about her lately, lol.

A close friend of mine was recently diagnosed with breast cancer. Thankfully, it appears to be isolated, and the current plan is six weeks of radiation. She moved to Dallas several years ago, so I wanted to send her a little taste of home and hopefully brighten her day.

There is a store near my office with a ton of niche Tulsa-themed stuff, and they were having their semiannual 40% off sale. I stopped by during lunch one day last week and found a Tulsa skyline coloring book, a Tulsa flag paint-by-number kit and these vinyl stickers

Cancer is obviously terrible, but sending someone an insulting Oklahoma-themed sticker feels like a perfectly reasonable way to show support.

On the entertainment front, I spared Dennis from having to sit through Hadestown. I had already bought myself a solo ticket for Saturday, but then HMF texted and asked if I wanted to go with her Friday night after she found a theater that wasn’t sold out.  My other ticket was refundable, so I returned it and went with her instead.

Part of me wishes I had kept the other ticket and watched it again the next day, but 2.5 hours two days in a row is a lot, even for me. We both loved it.

We saw the touring production earlier this season and went in mostly blind. We knew the myth and obviously knew how the story ended, but the only song I really knew was “Wait for Me,” which is a banger that I play on repeat. I think knowing the story and what was coming actually made the show even better.

The whole cast was amazing, but the actor who played Persephone stole the whole damn show. She was perfect.

Dennis only thought he got out of watching Hadestown because I had already indulged in the pre-sell and snatched it up. His freedom was temporary.

It also looks like they are going to start releasing proshots of more shows, which makes me happy. There was a preview for a limited run of Six next month. It is one of those shows people either love or hate, and we are definitely in the love column.

It is showing the weekend of August 14, and when we looked up tickets, it was already close to selling out, so we bought them immediately.

As a matter of fact, I also bought myself a solo ticket to see it again the next day. It is only 90 minutes long, so it is not quite the commitment that Hamilton or Hadestown was. Dennis should really know better than to assume seeing a show once means I am done with it.

I still haven’t decided what I think about the new gym. It is like nothing I have ever done before. The machines don’t use regular weights or gravity. Everything is computer-controlled and uses digital resistance. The workouts are short, but they are definitely challenging.

I am pretty sure I have been the youngest person there every time I have gone. It feels more like rehab than a regular gym, but honestly, that might be what I need right now. It is not the first time an elderly person has shown me up, and I am sure it won’t be the last.

After weighing in at less than 85 pounds and not being able to eat or chew properly for the third week, I finally broke down and called the TMJ specialist my dentist recommended. Saying the appointment was life-changing is not an exaggeration.

They did a 3D cone scan, which was kind of like an MRI machine. The dentist came in and went over everything with me. He said the condyle, which is the little ball part of the jaw joint, is tilted at about a 90-degree angle when it should be closer to 30. He said it is congenital, so it has always been that way.

I told him the whole history of having headaches, jaw problems and terrible ear pain for as long as I can remember. My mom used to keep me home from school because of the headaches and ear pain, and the doctor would say I was faking it to get out of school. I have even gone to the ER because the excruciating ear pain but no one ever suggested that my jaw might be the problem.

He had me open and close my mouth normally, then repositioned my jaw into the way it is supposed to track. I’ll be damned. The relief was immediate.

Long story short, I am getting a repositioning retainer. Since the appointment, I have been trying to hold my jaw in the position he showed me, and it feels so much better. When I relax and stop thinking about it, it goes back to my normal bite and sometimes catches when I try to move it back. Still, I cannot believe this might finally be the answer to years of problems.

At that point, I probably would have signed over my house if he told me it would stop the pain, so the price did not exactly scare me off.

They do not take insurance, but they gave me a step-by-step guide for calling my insurance and filing for reimbursement myself. I did not expect insurance to cover any of it, but they said they will cover 65 percent. They are also trying to get an out-of-network exception approved since he is the only specialist like this in the area. If that goes through, they will cover 85 percent.   Ow we just wait for it to come back from the lab.

The bad news is I have to file everything myself. The good news is that if filling out forms means paying around $500 instead of $3,000, I will happily do it. I am a government employee. Forms are basically my life.

I also have to wear another appliance while I sleep in addition to the daytime retainer. It goes over my top teeth and has a little piece that keeps my bottom teeth in front of my top teeth. I can already imagine how well sleeping with all of that in my mouth is going to go, but I am going to give it a real try.

The biggest thing is that after he showed me how to position my jaw, I was able to eat real food for the first time in what felt like forever. I almost cried.

Thursday was my check-in with the rheumatologist. I saw the PA, but honestly, I like him a lot better than the doctor. We always end up having a 20-minute chat session. I told him about the jaw thing, and he said he sees a lot of hypermobility patients with TMD and TMJ problems but has never known where to send them. He took down the information for my new miracle man.

I was worried he would yell at me about my weight, so I gorged myself on Olive Garden Wednesday night. I also wore the heaviest short-sleeved sweater I own and ankle boots that I couldn’t easily take off.

That being said, I weighed 90 pounds.

Was some of it Olive Garden and strategic footwear? Probably. Did the scale still say 90? Yes.

Baby steps.

another boring post

 Where to start…

My mom had the Doppler ultrasound done, and they told her everything looked good. We still don’t know whether she had a small stroke that caused the temporary vision loss in her left eye or whether it was related to healing from cataract surgery, but there is no concerning buildup beyond what they would normally expect. She seems to be doing well, although she still looks a little off to me without glasses. I’m not sure how long it will take me to get used to her new face.

Dennis got a job offer as a part-time substitute in the small engine repair program at the vo-tech. Honestly, I think it is the perfect job for him. He has always said that if he could do it over again, he would want to teach gas engines at a vo-tech or secondary school. Well, here ya go. He is waiting for his background check and drug screen to clear, which should not be a problem. The drug screen usually takes a little longer because of the controlled pain medication he takes through a pain management doctor, and that is always when Dennis starts to get nervous. I keep reminding him that it is prescribed and they just have to verify it. He should start training sometime next month.

As for me, I’m not sure whether I had a virus last week or the parasite that has been all over the news. I went home early from work Monday and called out Tuesday and Wednesday. I have also been going to physical therapy and a massage therapist to try to get my jaw functioning correctly. It does not hurt the way it did, but the constant popping and catching make eating extremely difficult. I finally called my dentist, and he referred me to a TMJ and sleep specialist who, naturally, is not on my insurance. In fact, I could not find a single in-network TMJ specialist, even in Oklahoma City.

My next step will probably be calling an oral and maxillofacial surgeon and crossing my fingers that they treat it. What I have been doing has helped with the pain, but it seems like it may be time to focus more on the joint itself. At my last massage, he got it to pop “back into place” and declared me cured. That was very short-lived, but at least I was able to eat that night.

Because eating has been so difficult, my weight is at an all-time low. My home scale said 84-something, which I hoped was wrong. I weighed myself at the gym Wednesday afternoon, fully dressed, and it said 86, so unfortunately the first number was probably not far off. Between being sick, the jaw problems and the weight loss, going to the gym has felt nearly impossible. Wednesday was my first workout in two weeks. I redid my strength test, which helped, but the number of repetitions was locked and could not be changed. I finished the workout, but it was not easy.

I am probably going to put my YMCA membership on hold for a while. The sauna is broken, which, honestly, just go outside, and they have been closing the adults-only women’s locker room off and on. There is a family dressing room, but I really do not want to use it. The Y also has a nice pool, a big slide and lots of kid-friendly features, which means there are approximately 700 children there at all times. There have even been kids under 13 using the treadmills and bikes while yelling across the room at their parents or friends. It is just a lot.

I started looking at fitness options available through my insurance and found a small private gym that uses Exerbotics machines. They work somewhat like the EGYM equipment, but the machines adjust to your ability throughout each repetition and focus more on higher effort, heavier weight and fewer reps. As much as I did not want to fall into the personal-training trap, I think it might be good for me to try it for three to six months and then possibly return to the Y. The drawback, of course, is the cost. Through my insurance, four sessions a month would be $114, and I would have to pay extra to add a second workout each week. I cannot imagine that one workout a week would be especially beneficial, but since this month is almost over, the four included sessions should be enough while I figure out the additional day.

Last weekend, Heather had an open house at the studio she shares with a few other photographers. It is part of an artist collective in an old warehouse, and the space is really nice. About 10 minutes after I got there, a storm rolled in with torrential rain. I had just read Jay’s comment about missing thunderstorms and briefly thought about hitting record so he could hear the thunder echoing through the warehouse. Heather had coordinated the open house with an offline vintage market, so even with the weather, the place was packed and she had a great turnout. It is a monthly event, and Laura and I are planning to go back next month.

Speaking of vintage, here is a picture of the dress I bought a few weeks ago. I took it in to be altered and holy schnikes. I have not paid for alterations in a very long time, and I was floored by the price. Granted, the dress has a lot of silk fabric and needed to be taken in on both sides, but I may never again buy something that requires alterations, lest I pay more for the alterations than I did for the dress.

Other than that, life has mostly consisted of the usual work, home and mom duties. I am nothing if not predictable.

Saturday, I bought a ticket to see Hadestown at the movies. Dennis said he might want to go, so I told him to watch the trailer before committing. It held his attention for approximately 45 seconds. I explained that the show is two and a half hours long and mostly sung through, so if he could not make it through the trailer, it might be best for him to sit this one out.

I do not mind going to the movies alone, and I cannot think of any friends who would particularly enjoy it. I also did not feel like doing the whole, “What time do you want to go?” “I don’t care, what time do you want to go?” routine. The real tragedy is that I am not sure popcorn will be doable with my jaw. And since it is not a sing-along, I will have to keep my terrible singing voice to myself.

Okay, lunch is over. Time to get back at it.

Just lifeing

Life has been life-ing. I feel like I am always running around doing stuff, but none of it has been particularly interesting.

We survived the evil loud Fourth of July holiday, which was probably my biggest accomplishment. We had a terrible storm right at nightfall, and I’m still not sure if that made the fireworks better or worse. We drugged Bailey, but he remained thoroughly unamused. I woke up around 1 a.m. and some jackwagon was still shooting them off. I still hear a few here and there, but thankfully they are finally starting to go away.

We had a terrible storm right at nightfall, and I’m still not sure if that made the fireworks better or worse. We drugged Bailey, but he remained thoroughly unamused. I woke up around 1 a.m. and some jackwagon was still shooting them off. I still hear a few here and there, but thankfully they are finally starting to go away.

It has been an odd summer. We had another bad storm this past Saturday. I did my normal Sunday morning errands before the church people got out, and there was quite a bit of tree damage. I wasn’t expecting it to storm, so Bailey raw-dogged it. He only freaked out once, and to be fair, it was a huge clap of thunder that made me jump too. I have never been so glad I replaced my roof last year.

Going in reverse, assuming I can remember anything else from the last few weeks…

I did my mom date Saturday morning. There is a porch bake stand a few miles from my house that gets stocked on the weekends with fresh cinnamon rolls, cake pops, cookies and various little snack cakes. I made the mistake of stopping there on my way to Mom’s a few weeks ago, and now she expects a cinnamon roll every time I come over. Honestly, they really are that good. Dennis is obsessed too.

I

Mom finally had cataract surgery on both eyes, and for the first time since she was a kid, she doesn’t need glasses to see. I told her this was unacceptable because after more than 50 years, I’m not sure I can get used to her without them. When she went with me to pick up my new glasses a couple of weeks ago, I offered to buy her some frames with plain glass in them. She declined. It is genuinely strange seeing her without glasses.

A couple of weeks after her surgery, she lost vision in her left eye for several minutes. She did not freak out nearly as much as I would have expected. That is the thing about my mom. She freaks out over every minor inconvenience, but when something genuinely serious happens to her, nothing.

My younger sister and I are pretty concerned. Mom didn’t even call the doctor because she was already scheduled to get a shot in her eye a few days later. Heather took her to the appointment and made sure they knew what happened. They adequately scolded her for not going to the ER and scheduled her for a Doppler.

She has also been reluctant to leave the house lately. I thought it was because she wanted her eyes to heal before riding around in a car and risking motion sickness, which she gets pretty badly. Now I’m not so sure. When I tried to get her to go do something this weekend, she said it was too hot. Granted, it is hot, but the car has air conditioning. I guess we will see.

She turns 80 next month, and apparently if I don’t start planning something, no one will. FML.

After leaving her house, I was supposed to get my nails done, but I canceled. My friend’s birthday is next week and she is going out of town. I was her last appointment before the trip, and I could tell she regretted suggesting that we hurry up and squeeze them in. She was very happy when I canceled.

Instead, I went to my favorite thrift store because they were having a one-year anniversary party. The place was packed, which made me happy. There was a newish girl working whom I hadn’t met before, and she was a hoot. She started pulling all kinds of things for me, including a perfect vintage dress.

When I tried it on, about four women were standing nearby, and every one of them said they would hunt me down if I didn’t buy it. It’s a mixed-media sort of thing with a polyester bodice and a silk skirt slit way up the front. It would need shorts or something underneath it. The bodice also needs to be taken in, and naturally, it is too long for my short ass.

One of the spectators gave me the name of a seamstress near my office, and the entire dressing-room committee decided the skirt should be turned into palazzo pants. I’m hoping to take it by there after work. I am so excited to see whether this works because it could be amazing.

Work is insane right now, which is part of the reason I haven’t updated. Once I get home and away from screens, I don’t want to get back on a tablet or laptop until I absolutely have to. Luckily, nothing major is going on. It is just the staffing shortage, high water from the storms and approximately 900 things that need to be done at the same time.

It isn’t all bad. The days go by quickly, and I can leave an hour early three days a week to go to the gym, assuming work doesn’t interfere.

Speaking of the gym, I am officially out of the honeymoon stage. I hate it with every fiber of my being. If I weren’t getting the hour off work, I’m not sure I would go.

The first cycle went really well, but then the machines made me redo my strength test. The new weights have been a struggle, especially paired with the TMJ flare-up. At this point, I would almost rather stay at work.

I decided the strength test must have been a fluke, so last week I redid it, thinking the machines would adjust everything back to a reasonable level. I’ll be damned if that motherfucker didn’t increase my weights again.

I can do the first 12 reps just fine, but the last eight kill me. Obviously, I am only doing one round right now, but I would almost rather do two rounds of 12. I don’t know if there is a way to set it up that way, but there needs to be because this current arrangement is bullshit.

The TMJ is slowly getting better. I found a place that does TMJ massage, and it was certainly an experience. I went in blind, able to open my mouth about half an inch before it stuck and hurt. The entire left side of my face and scalp was also sensitive to the touch.

This man stuck his big ole man hands, gloved thankfully, into my mouth and manipulated my jaw like he was trying to separate it from my body. It hurt so bad, but when he finished, I could open my mouth all the way.

I went back a second time, and it was much less dramatic. I canceled physical therapy because I feel like the massage is working better, and I’m going back again next week. My face no longer hurts, and the clicking had gotten much better, but it has returned over the past few days.

I was talking to Dennis earlier while he was sitting across the room. He did a double take and asked if the noise he heard was my jaw. Then he told me I needed to get it fixed.

Thanks, Einstein.

I had just started eating crunchier foods again, but it looks like I’m going back to soft foods.

It hasn’t helped that my appetite is gone again. This happens every summer when it gets hot. Eating becomes a struggle. I had made it back up to a little over 90 pounds, but now I’m down to 86 again. People had even started commenting on how “toned” I looked. I know the weight loss and the gym struggle are probably related, but so far nothing has helped.

The medication change was also a big failure. The medication it replaced helped with my ADD, and I could definitely tell a difference without it, but I probably could have learned to adjust. The deal breaker was that the new medication muted my taste buds, so nothing tasted right. What is the point of having an appetite if nothing tastes good? I gave it a month and then noped right out.

There are at least a few checks in the win column.

Dennis has an interview Wednesday for a substitute teaching position in a vo-tech small-engine repair program. This would pretty much be his dream job. To each their own.

I think I have talked him into looking for part-time work instead of another full-time job. Between his health and his mom’s, I’m not sure he needs to be tied up 40 hours a week. We will see how that goes.

HMF and I also saw the final show of this Broadway season, The Notebook. It was meh.

I was worried about how she would handle it with her dad having passed away so recently. We agreed to see how the first half went and leave at intermission if she needed to. She had one small emotional moment, but it wasn’t terrible, so we decided to stay.

All that buildup about bringing tissues was for naught. The cast was great and the vocals were incredible, but it went completely off the charts on the sap meter. Not my style at all.

The new season starts in September with Spamalot. HMF has parents’ weekend in Waco, so she won’t be able to go. I’m also going to have to move my tickets to a weekday because I got tickets to see The Outsiders in Denver on the day of the Tulsa show. 😬

Brooke and I are makin