NYE

And just like that Christmas has come and gone.  It was a very relaxed holiday, just dinner at my mom's with Laura and Heather and, of course, my mom.  Dennis is still being an ass and I am fine with that.  I told him he can play his little games but I am not getting involved in it.  We didn't really exchange gifts, just ate and watched the new Nate Bargatze stand up special.  Now that Christmas is over it is on to the next annual tradition, allergies  I have been pretty miserable since about Friday.  I probably should have gone to urgent care to get a steroid shot but I didn't really want to mess with it.  I have some oral steroids I keep on hand for RA flare ups but I try very hard not to take them unless I absolutely have to.  I hate the way they make me feel.  So far I have suffered through.  Not sure how much snot the human body can produce but mine is for sure pushing right past that limit.  I am a walking mucus factory.  

I have been off work since last Friday and it is an understatement to say I don't miss the place at all.  It is well known with my old co-workers that I am a Jimmy Carter stan and I have heard from several of my retired co-workers after his passing because they thought of me.  They all say run as soon as I can.  I have about 5 years and some change.  The fact that two co-workers around my age that had strokes in the last year.  One is still not back to work full time and will never be the same, we started working for the corps on the same day.  I don't want to be that statistic.  

Speaking of Mr. Jimmy, Brooke asked me if I wanted to swing by Little Rock and pick her up and do a road trip for his public viewing.  As tempted as I am, I think I am going to pass.  It would be neat to see the caisson pass by, it is a very long drive.  They are supposed to pause outside his family farm and ring the farm bell 39 times.  It is a good 13 hour drive.  I am not a fan of viewings in general.  I don't want my last memory of someone being them in a casket with unnatural make-up.  Since I was in Hawaii when Roselynn died I just saw pictures of JC in passing and I don't want to see him a shell of a man.  When I met him several years ago he was in his 90's and still loomed large.  I am meeting up with Brooke and Linda in Dallas to see &Juliet the end of January so I think the money could be better spent on that trip.  I am taking for granted that we will be off work on Thursday.  That will help ease back into the work schedule.  

I haven't been doing much with my time off.  I had been going through some stuff at my house but once the sinus issue started I put that on hold.  MIL gave me some cash for Christmas and I decided to buy a new pair of Converse ship on's.  The ones I have I wear pretty much every day and they are at least 2 years old.  They are starting to show their age.  I got another pair the same color but they are more of a 3/4 top - not exactly a hi-top but not cut like a normal sneaker either.  I also found some mustard yellow platform hi-tops on clearance so I had to get those too.  I am making a conscious effort to cut way back on spending once the new year starts.  Well, technically I gave myself until the 20th.  I'm going to try and do my part to tank the economy (which I am pretty certain I can do single handedly). I have done pretty good at cutting back the amazon purchases.  My plan is to cancel my membership next year.  I have to get Dennis on board with that first.

I met up with HMF and A on Friday for lunch and the Wicked sing a long, and yes it was every bit as much fun as it sounds!! A has had some major problems this year.  He had been suspended until right before Thanksgiving for the gummy fiasco.  I guess he went back and they caught him looking at inappropriate websites on his school Chromebook so he got sent back to ISS.  Despite that he came in wearing his new $200 shoes, talking about the gaming laptop he got and asking for a $50 mouse.  We ran by Target to pick up some stuff and HMF found a phone case she wanted and maid the comment that if she got that for herself she would have to buy him the mouse.  I stopped dead in my tracks and reminded her that was not how it worked.  I told her that he is about to turn 15 next month and has been in suspension more than class so he had plenty of time to compute how that doesn't add up.  One of the big reasons I never wanted kids...teenagers. gross.

The week before Christmas the family met up, mom, sisters, Heather, BIL at Fleming's.  Service was terrible for what is considered a nicer steakhouse.  It took forever.  We met up at 6:30 and didn't leave until around 10.  The food was good but for the money I would much rather go to Mahogany.  My one glass of wine turned into 2 because of the wait time.  I hardly ever have time for the second glass with as slow as I eat.

The Saturday before my sister Laura and one of my dance friends met up for dinner and the annual cabaret Christmas thing.  I hadn't been in a few years because of work and I was a little concerned about subjecting my sister to it.  I think she had fun though, based on the pictures at least.  It was entertaining at least.   

Me and my sisters at dinner

Me, Laura and my friend MJ at the dance studio party

 

me and Shana at the dance studio party

Laura and the dom daddy at the dance party

full body shot of the outfits

I really can't think of anything of interest.  My plan for this NYE is to sit at home, eat leftover candy and watch Wicked.  I am sure I will be in snoozeland long before midnight.

Countdown to days off

 

One more week until my "use it or lose it" vacation, and I can hardly wait. Next week is shaping up to be a whirlwind of mandated fun. Monday and Thursday are retirement parties, Tuesday is the floor Christmas party (definitely skipping that one), and Wednesday is a going-away lunch for our acting Chief. I’m planning to telework on Tuesday to avoid the “festive” chaos. Honestly, I hate having to endure an afternoon with my old RE colleagues while pretending I don’t loathe them. To make matters worse, one of the main culprits from the desk-drama days landed the RE Chief job. I hired and trained her, and she was a key player in setting me up. I’m still bitter—let’s just say I hope her future is filled with endless congressionals. But enough about work.

Last night, I went to dance class and felt like I was going to die. I can’t believe there was a time when I took eight classes a week—sometimes two or three a day. I’d love to find that drive again. Back when we were teleworking, I had the energy for it. Now that I’m back in the office, my social meter is constantly maxed out, and the idea of being around more people just exhausts me. I want to want to go, if that makes sense. That said, I did have a blast last night. The teacher strikes the perfect balance between beginner-friendly and engaging, which makes the class fun—even if she did get me Whammed* last night. One day, I might even muster the energy to try the tap class again.

Lately, I’ve been feeling nauseous and fatigued. It could be the new medication, the time of year, or just sheer burnout. This week also marks five years since my dad passed. I have this vivid Christmas memory of him taking charge of the “Santa” gifts. We were older, but he still found so much joy in it. His own childhood Christmases were rough—his dad would sell any gifts he got—so he loved seeing us happy. I need to stop here before I start crying again. Suffice it to say, I’m ready to be out of the office and through the holidays. There’s one guy at work who walks around blasting Christmas music, and I’ve had to ask him more than once to turn it down. I usually pop on a podcast as soon as I get to my desk, but I can still hear his music. I need a break. Also, they’re still decorating the office. God, I miss COVID.

On a more positive note, Dennis had a job interview yesterday. I think he has a good chance—it’s a maintenance position for the county, Monday through Friday, 8 to 5. They even gave him a benefits package booklet, which feels promising. I actually put him in for the job myself because he was getting way too involved in family drama. Of course, he didn’t check his email or answer calls, so I got an email as his backup contact. If he doesn’t get this job, I’ll definitely have a field day the next time he claims he “can’t find work.” Maybe set up your voicemail or answer the phone when someone calls? I’ve told him before: employers don’t go door-to-door recruiting. That said, I do think he’ll get it, and hopefully, he’ll like it. Fingers crossed for a Christmas miracle—having him out of my hair for my two weeks off would be amazing.

This past Saturday, I met up with my mom and Heather for something called Nutcracker Fest, a fundraiser for the Tulsa Ballet. It was their first year hosting it, and it was pretty neat. It was geared more toward kids, but there were booths, an iceless skating rink, and a few other activities for adults. I hope they make it an annual thing—it has real potential. I’d definitely go again. Dennis found my mom a foldable wheelchair that fits in her car, so she was able to join us without worrying about walking. I have mixed feelings about it. On one hand, I don’t know how much of her knee issues are fixable. On the other, I don’t think she’s interested in working toward being more mobile. Still, if this is what it takes to get her out and about, so be it. She was happy to get out and seemed to be in good spirits, so I’ll take it as a win.

* For the uninitiated, “Whamageddon” is a game where the goal is to avoid hearing Wham!'s "Last Christmas" from December 1 through December 24. If you hear it and recognize the song, you’re out. Only the original version counts. I made it through all of last year without getting Whammed… until now.

Thanksgiving recap

 

It feels like forever since I last posted an update, and honestly, I’m not sure where to start. I think I left off with the family drama and Dennis inserting himself into my family’s issues where, frankly, he didn’t need to. We met my sister and her husband for dinner, which I think helped defuse the situation a bit. Both my sister and I agreed that most of it wasn’t really an issue. Sure, there are things to address—like the updated deed sitting in her desk drawer—but overall, it’s not a big deal to us.

We did talk about the house, though. My sister and her husband said that if we don’t plan to sell and intend to live in it, they’ll sign it over to me. I’m not sure how my younger sister feels about it, but I’m okay with buying her share if needed. The house I’m living in now would make a great rental for someone. That said, I’m not planning on anything happening to my mom anytime soon. After that dinner, Dennis hasn’t really brought it up again. He’s still refusing to go to my mom’s house, but whatever. I told him he could either stay mad or get over it, but I’m not getting dragged into his petty drama. Honestly, he can be worse than a teenage girl sometimes.

On a lighter note, my friend from Dallas visited the weekend before Thanksgiving. Her youngest son had a soccer tournament, and while she initially planned to drop him off and hang out, her mom guilt kicked in hard. We did meet up briefly to shop at Ulta, but that was about it. I totally get it, though. We both have this unspoken rule: you can always cancel plans with me, no hard feelings. At least we got to hang out for an hour, and it gave me an excuse not to go to my mom’s house.

We also grabbed dinner a couple of weeks before when she had to meet the insurance adjuster for her mother-in-law’s house, which had been burned in a string of arsons. That house was in rough shape even before the fire—someone stripped out the wiring just before I left for Florida. It seemed like only a matter of time before something like this happened. The adjuster asked her if she suspected anyone, and she was pretty sure it was the sister-in-law. Unfortunately, there’s no proof.  The sister-in-law hasn’t been paying her restitution so she’s technically in violation of her probation. My friend was supposed to talk to the DA about it, but I’m not sure if she ever followed through. Now that is family drama.

Thanksgiving week was busy. I worked through the first part of it and almost finished a big project. It’s such a relief to have it nearly done. I’ve sent it out to a few people to catch any formatting issues—my personal blind spot—and it should be ready by the start of the new year. Work has been slow lately, with people taking time off for hunting season and using their vacation days. I’ve got every Monday off for the rest of the year and the last two weeks off entirely.  I haven't even left for vacation days and I'm already dreading coming back, lol.

Thanksgiving itself was low-key. My mom picked up a heat-and-eat meal from Fresh Market. It was okay, but not as good as I’d hoped. The turkey had a weird texture, but maybe that’s just me being picky about poultry. Dennis didn’t come, and I told him I wasn’t bringing him food. The cats, on the other hand, got some turkey, and Mango practically took my hand off for it. That cat eats like he’s on the streets, even though we’ve had him since he was a kitten. My vet friend calls him an “angry eater.”

On Friday, I did a little shopping for myself since we’re not doing gifts this year. I snagged my favorite foundation at 50% off—it’s normally $42, so that was a win. I might still do stockings for my little sister and cousin.  Friday night, Heather wanted to check out the Christmas Chute. This is the third year they’ve done it, but I’d never been at night. It was cool, and she got some great long-exposure photos.

No make-up look 

On Saturday, I decided to see Wicked. I didn’t have high expectations because of all the hype, but wow—I loved it. I’m officially obsessed.  I had sent HMF a text to see what she thought of it and she said I needed to see it and would go with me.  I figured if it was good enough for her to see twice in a week it must be good. My sister went earlier in the week and hated it, but she’s not a musical fan. The touring production is coming this spring, and if there isn’t a sing-along pre-show, I might have to organize one myself!

Later that night, Dennis and I made a Costco run. He was hungry, and we needed a few things, so it worked out. I was still full of popcorn from the show, but he had a hot dog and we split a slice of pizza. I looked for those white chocolate peppermint pretzel crisps I love, but it seems they don’t have them this year. Such a bummer. I got everyone addicted to them last year.

Sunday, I went to Old Navy for some $5 long-sleeve T-shirts for Dennis. I was surprised that none of the stores I went to over the weekend were crowded. It felt like a normal shopping weekend, not Black Friday. The movie theater, on the other hand, was packed.

Last week, I had a doctor’s appointment to check on my heart rate with the new meds. My heart rate was 70, which is low for me, and I think even the doctor was surprised. He mentioned something about drug screenings, but I didn’t have to do one. I do have to go in every three months, though. I skipped taking the meds over Thanksgiving break, but I started back up on Monday. Unfortunately, I didn’t eat beforehand and felt super nauseous all day. Not sure if it was the meds or a stomach bug, but I ended up on the couch with Bailey and Olive.

Anyway, that’s my life lately! Everyone here is decorating for Christmas, so it’s hard to feel super productive.

Family Drama

 

Things are a mess right now. Heather moving back has stirred up a whole Pandora’s box. I’m not surprised, but Dennis is appalled.

On Wednesday, I called Dennis from work to check on the kids, and he didn’t answer—not a big deal. He texted me later, asking if I was at lunch. I told him I was heading to my car to relax by myself and that I’d call him when I got there. Cue the meltdown.

Apparently, my mom had called him earlier, asking if he wanted any of my dad’s tools. She said he needed to pick them up ASAP because my brother-in-law was planning to take the rest. For context, my dad was an incredible woodworker. He even gutted and rebuilt their kitchen while going through his final chemo treatments, crafting beautiful, custom cabinets. He owned some high-end tools that Dennis has repeatedly told my mom he’d like to have.

Fast forward five years, and those tools have just been sitting there. Suddenly, they need to be cleared out within 48 hours to make room for Heather’s stuff. Dennis was furious—not just at the short notice but also because he wasn’t the first person my mom called. None of this surprised me, though. That’s just how my mom is—very self-centered.

Dennis tried to tell her she needed to protect herself, as he’s convinced Heather will take advantage of her and never leave. Her response? She just wants someone there in case she falls or something. Again, it’s about what she wants. I’d already warned Dennis that my mom shuts down when she doesn’t want to hear something. Still, his main concern is the house. He’s worried that if something happens to my mom, Heather will try to take it.

My mom has told us there’s a notarized quitclaim deed dividing the house equally among the three of us in her desk drawer in the spare bedroom. I’ve even told my sisters and my mom that if no one else wants the house, I’ll buy it and rent out my current place. But Dennis thinks Heather will find the deed and destroy it, forge a new one, or manipulate my mom into signing the house over. 

By Friday, Dennis was still fixated on it. I told him this really isn’t his issue, but I didn’t mind listening—up to a point. He even brought home a fire safe, insisting I take it to my mom for the deed. When I mentioned it to her, she just acted annoyed.

Dennis also wanted me to organize a family meeting, so I brought it up to my older sister, Barbie. We’re meeting for dinner tomorrow to discuss it. Dennis didn’t love the idea of meeting in public—he can’t hear well in noisy places—but I reminded him it’s an immediate family matter, and he doesn’t need to be involved unless necessary.

Honestly, none of this matters because my mom will do whatever she wants. This is the same woman who once told us that if she could do it all over again, she wouldn’t have had kids. When we brought it up, she hit us with the classic “I guess I’m just a terrible mother” guilt trip.

On Friday, I told Dennis to vent all he wanted while I drove home from work because I wasn’t going to let this drama ruin my weekend. To his credit, he respected that boundary.

On Thursday, I took sick leave because Dennis had an appointment for a back ablation. I didn’t want to drive to the office for just half a day, then come home and drive back to that part of town again. Instead, I ran a few errands in the morning and then took him in. This wasn’t his first ablation—it’s usually a pretty straightforward, in-and-out procedure. They give you a pager, and I wait in my car until they’re done, which typically takes about an hour.

When the pager went off, I drove to the pickup area, but Dennis texted me saying something didn’t feel right. I parked the car and went inside to check on him. By the time I got there, they’d already brought him outside. I explained to the techs what Dennis had said and let them know I wasn’t leaving until he felt better. They were very understanding and took us back in.

Dennis was struggling to move around, and the doctor came over to explain that Dennis had been so tense (big surprise there) that they’d had to give him extra sedatives to avoid breaking the needle. Everything went fine, but the tension likely made the procedure a lot more painful than usual. We stayed there for another 30 minutes, and they gave him a sugary snack, which helped him regain some color. He didn’t remember much after texting me.

When we finally got home, I put him to bed. I’d planned to take him out to eat afterward, but that obviously didn’t happen. Since I hadn’t eaten yet either, I went out and got a chicken Florentine pizza, and let me tell you, I was so hungry I ate it in the car on the way home. It was so good.

On Friday, I went into the office with the intention of sneaking out at noon to work from home in the afternoon. But AP was there, which threw a wrench into my plans. She’s rarely in on Fridays, so I suspect she was checking up on me since I’m usually the only one there that day. I hate being alone with her.

I had a Botox appointment at 11:30, so I told her I’d be leaving for that, and she didn’t say much. At the appointment, the nurse practitioner told me about a new laser treatment they’re offering. It sounded tempting, but after my last experience with one, I’m not sure I want to go through the pain and swelling again. They’re doing a Black Friday special, so I told her I’d think about it.

Saturday, I skipped going to my mom’s house. She assumed it was because of Dennis’s procedure, but really, I just needed a break from her. I went to Costco, the Dillard’s outlet, and Old Navy. Surprisingly, I didn’t spend as much at Costco as I usually do. I didn’t find what I wanted at Dillard’s but scored a few pairs of clearance workout pants at Old Navy. Not a bad outing overall.

Later, I realized I needed new shoes for jazz class, so I stopped by Ross to see if they had any Reeboks. I’ve danced in Reeboks before and really liked them. I found a pair in the kids’ section that I absolutely loved, so I grabbed them. It turned out to be a nice, relaxing day.

Sunday, I met up with HMF for lunch and to see Mrs. Doubtfire with our season tickets. Lunch was...interesting. I don't remember if I said anything but A, stole money from her wallet to buy three gummies from a girl at school. He took all three at once and ended up in the ER. He got a week of in-home suspension and 40 days of in-school suspension, but that could be reduced if he takes some drug education classes. He should be back to regular classes after Thanksgiving.  He ratted on the kids that sold the gummy so there is some concern about bulling.

She told me they’ve put him in Christian counseling, which surprised me since her husband, like me, is agnostic. She thinks this whole ordeal might have been a wake-up call for A. They had a good conversation, and their relationship has been improving. She even showed him photos of his birth parents and explained how the “fog” he felt after taking the gummies was similar to how they lived their lives, which kept them from making good decisions. A’s abandonment issues clearly play a big role here, and rightly so.

At one point, she mentioned that A had backtalked her, and she told him it was Satan trying to break down their relationship. I swear, I think she could hear my eyeroll. If it works for her, fine, but I just can’t with that. Especially considering all the nonsense happening in Oklahoma schools right now. (If you haven’t heard, Google it.) Sometimes, I wish I had a kid like me—someone who would buck the system and start a Satanic Temple club. There’s a great documentary about it from before the pandemic. I should order one of their shirts to wear around here. But I digress.

As for the show, it was fine. Funny in parts, but the main characters were pretty boring. The brother and his husband stole the show, in my opinion. Next up is Les Mis. Neither of us are excited about it since we’re not fans of sung-through musicals (Hamilton is the one exception). But it’s a classic, so I’m keeping an open mind. We’ll see how it goes.

Yesterday was really rainy, so I decided to work from home. For some reason, I woke up at 3:30 AM and couldn’t fall back asleep. I stayed in bed for about an hour, but eventually, I gave up and got up. I briefly thought about going into the office since I was already awake, but AP is out this week and would have been in yesterday morning. That was enough reason for me to pass on the idea.

By the time I logged off for the day, I was so sleepy. I told Dennis I was just going to nap on the couch, but he convinced me to get comfortable and lie down in bed instead. I had a few hours before I needed to leave for dance class, so I did just that.

Well, I ended up waking up at 5:35 PM. There was no way I could make it to jazz class—it’s about a 15-minute drive under normal conditions, but with the rain and rush hour traffic, I would’ve been late. Plus, I still needed to change. I hate missing it because I had so much fun last week.

I didn’t get to wear my shoes ☹️

Technically, I could’ve made it to tap class at 6:45, but it’s just not as enjoyable as jazz. I’m not sure if I’ll go back to tap. I wish the class times were better spaced—jazz at 6 and tap at 6:45 doesn’t leave much flexibility. I might see about showing up to tap 15 minutes late, but I’ll need to build my stamina back up before I try something like that.