Thursday workout

Weight 117 this morning

Last night's workout

3 X
15 plank step out with slider (each side)
15 squat walk (each side)
I can't remember for the life of me

3X
10 plank slider arm circles (not sure what to call it)
15 glute bridge with abductor
20 bosu squat jumps

out of town next week for the Best Friends No More Homeless Pet's conference

Bailey's birthday party yesterday was a huge hit!!

Tuesday workout

I ran yesterday before work.  I did the 4 cadence drills.  I can't get the hang of the acceleration gliders but I gave it a try.  I averaged about 3:30 for each of the quarter mile drills and didn't pass out or die from heat exhaustion. 

Teleworked yesterday.  Work is starting to not be fun.  micro-managers suck the life out of moral.  Grateful it is a temp position and hoping that she doesn't get it permanently. I hate to get back in a situation like I was in 2 years ago.  My other team members feel the same but they think they might not give her the job if we talk to them.  Yeah, I've done that all before.  I was 15 minutes late for work today from dropping of Bailey (she knows I'm late on daycare days) and got the "please be punctual" speech.  Looks like I will be coming in the other set of door and taking the long way around from now on.  Just makes me want to do the bare minimum. 

Back to exercise and diet I only did 30 minutes at the gym last night.  I'm thinking on days that I run that probably isn't a bad thing.  My heart rate was out of control.

We started off with 3/4 mile bike and level 8.  My heart rate got up to 100% and stayed there so trainer decreased the level.  HR still didn't come down so she cut me off at .68 (so close).  We did 3 rounds of this but with decreasing mileage, so .5 the second and .25 the third set.  Also in the set:

15 sissy squats
walking squats with band above knees

The next round was X3

TRX reverse fly
medicine ball toss/squat
squat to upright row with kettle bell.

Should go without saying that my quads are toast today.  I'm not sure I could have done 30 more minutes. 

My HR chart shows 55 minutes (I don't take it off until I get home and I never remember to turn it off) 88% effort, high 195.  I was in the "red" zone 26 minutes.  660 calories burned.

I sent my running schedule to the trainer and we are supposed to figure something out so I don't hurt myself like I have in the past.  I don't think there will ever be a time where I will run for 3 weeks with a stress fracture.

My weight this morning was 117!!  That is a number I haven't seen in a long time. 

My throat still feels like there is a lump on my tonsils.  My speech path friend says it's because they are probably still swollen.  The tongue heals fairly quick but seeing as how it was at the very back of my tongue where it connects it will probably take a little longer.  We know it isn't cancer and that the growth is gone so it won't turn into cancer, that's all that matters.

Mad Gains

I suffered through the gym last night!!  Small victory but one I will take it.  I was definitely on the struggle bus and my heart rate was out of control HRM shows that most of the workout was in the red zone with max HR at 194.  I forgot to take the monitor off after my workout so it shows I burned 978 calories for 1 hour and 44 minutes of effort and with that it was still 77% overall effort.  My trainer told me to slow down several times towards the end.  The trend has been to do timed sets instead of a set number so I can vary the effort based on how I feel.

Last night we did:
30 seconds and 3 sets
one leg step up with kettle bell in opposite hand - leg stayed on the box. 30 sec for each leg
battle rope - wide circles
slider lunges - 30 seconds each leg

suitcase carry to end of gym, switch arm and return
squat press with 8 pound weights
upright row (20 pounds. I probably could have increased the weight if we could have found the 5 pound weight for the press)

2 sets
scissor kicks
plank step out

I feel really bad for my workout partner since I am still doing small groups.  I really felt like I was holding her back.  I didn't feel strong at any point in the workout and felt like I was kind of going through the motions, kind of light headed and struggling with  form.  I am just really glad that my anxiety let me leave the house without any major issues and without thinking of a thousand excuses to quit.  Showing up is the hardest part some days.  There were a few times, especially during the lunges that I just felt very unstable. 

I may contact my trainer to see about doing some one on one training for a few weeks until I get stuff sorted out. 

Work is horrible right now.  The lead we have in for the next few weeks is a controlling micro manger, which doesn't bode well for our type of job.  It is stressing everyone out to the point that one of our planners is setting up a tdy to be out as much as possible.  The job announcement closed last week and I really hope they don't give it to her.  It would really make our lives more difficult than they need to be.

I sent a text to my little sister yesterday asking her if she wanted to go to a fund raiser with me next weekend.  She sent me a text back around 11 last night, which normally wouldn't wake me up but for some reason did, she said she lost her job yesterday so she really didn't feel like doing anything like that.  So along with all the other issues she has had over the last year she has that to deal with.  I literally thought I was going to throw up when she told me. 

With all of this being said, I fell a little better today, a little more clear headed and the vertigo is better but the focus is not there at all.  I still feel oddly emotional.  Maybe I will see what the therapist's schedule looks like since he has it online, I mean it can't hurt.

I didn't weigh this morning but my weight has been up a little lately, only a pound or so.  I am thinking it has to be water retention from the lack of fluids and the heat.  I am just now getting to wear it feels somewhat normal to swallow. 

I don't know if I ever said anything about the medication I have been taking, Saxenda.  It seems like with most things that work in this country the manufacturer and the insurance companies are making it increasingly harder and more expensive to get.  Insurance wasn't covering it but I had a savings card that made the medication $30.00 a week (I had to get one pen, a weeks worth, filled at a time).  Apparently there is a limit of 12 refills on the savings card regardless of how many pens you get.  Without the card the medication is roughly $1200 a month.  My doctor switched me to another medication, that is exactly the same but with lower max dosage, which I was taking anyway since I had hit my goal weight.  This is marketed towards diabetes and not weight loss so for now insurance is covering it.  I'm not sure how long that will last.  There are some Canadian pharmacies that will ship if it comes to it at $500 for 5 pens (a month at full dose).  It is ridiculous.  I talked my doctor into upping the prescribed dose so I could have some pens saved up just in case.  With the biopsy last week I just started back on it yesterday. 

OK it's time to get busy... no puppy pictures today.

recovery sucks

So a week ago I had a spot on my tongue biopsied.  My dentist found this lesion (what the oral surgeon called it) and didn't think it was anything to worry about but wanted someone else to look at it.  The oral surgeon didn't think it was anything to worry about either but he, his words were "he is almost certain it isn't cancer but he doesn't know exactly what it was".  For some reason I thought this would be a simple little thing that I would have done and go to work after.  Man was I wrong.  I am still suffering a week later.  I thought they would just do like a needle biopsy but they cut that spot out and stitched it up.  I knew they would have to put me under because of the location way at the back of my tongue. I didn't even ask if it would hurt until they had me ready to go.  I am still struggling to eat real food, I was on protein shakes, mashed potatoes and pudding until Monday.  It still fills weird but I am admittedly a huge baby when it comes to anything with my mouth since I have had very little problems with my teeth.  I literally took every single pain pill they gave me and would have taken more, very much out of character for me.  Let me tell you though that they should give nitrous every time I have to have an IV!!.  I remember the doctor saying something about how he could see scars from previous IV's and I told him there were some on my inner arm from donating blood also.  He immediately became my favorite doctor when he said that I am too small to donate.  Anyway, I don't remember the needle going in at all.  It was amazing.  I'm mot sure when the results will be back but I am not going to worry about it.

I did nothing for the holiday.  I have done pretty much nothing but sleep since the biopsy.  I'm not sure if it's the drugs, the heat, or just my lazy fat ass but I am struggling.  I was 2 hours late for work on Monday and I'm never late like that.  I just literally could not function.  This morning was difficult too but I was able to make myself get up at 6, which is 20 minutes later than I normally get up.  I was still early to drop Bailey off at daycare but we weren't the first ones there for a change.  We have a meeting at 8:30 and I have a project that I have to get done by Friday or I might have just called in.  Although it is picture day at Bailey's daycare so he couldn't miss 💗   Daycare keeps us all sane.  

So I haven't been to the gym at all or ran since last Sunday.  I did 2 miles per JG and told him that I wouldn't probably not be able to run after the procedure but I honestly thought I would be able to get up Sunday and do my "long" run.  Now it is too hot to go after work so I will be stuck on the TM for awhile.  On my telework days maybe I could get up and run since I don't have to be at work so early and I could take Bai for a short walk.

I started this yesterday and had to get some work done.

So this morning was another one of those days, an hour late for work, couldn't make myself get up even though I fell asleep at 9:00 last night.  I was talking to a co-worker and I told her I think I have seasonal effective disorder in the summer months.  The heat just drains me and makes me want to hide away in the A/C and not come out.  She kind of surprised me when she said she really felt the same way but her's is the opposite and she can't sleep instead of sleeping all the time.  Funny. She was a park ranger too, maybe it has something to do with that?  At any rate the summer is just starting so I am going to have to figure out a way to work through it.  I have only been to the therapist once since Christmas so I could do that.  I also am really bad about taking my anti-depressant, I set an alarm on my phone and I am committing to take that regularly.  If I don't see any changes I will call my doctor and have her do some blood work.  I have been diagnosed with pernicious anemia in the past and I know I have a vitamin D deficiency (haven't really been taking that either) both of those could also be attributing.  I can go to the walk in clinic and get a B-12 shot at lunch so I might do that.  I also kind of wonder if the biopsy is bothering me more on a psychological level than I am admitting to myself.  Hopefully they will call with the results soon.

At any rate, I am going to the gym tonight.  I am trying to decide if I should send my trainer a text  and warn her or ask her if I can do a few half hour sessions.  Then again I should probably just get over myself and do what I know I am capable of.

OK enough of that, but I do want to put this down so if I feel like this next year I have something to look back on.