Meh

I have really fallen out of the blogging habit.  I don't particularly like blogger, there are some blogs I try to comment on (Patti) and I don't think the comments are coming through.  Plus the pictures only show up half the time.  It just seems like a real pain.

There is really nothing going on.  I guess that is a good thing.  My weight is holding at around 115.  Exercise isn't great but it is happening every now and again.  If I can make it through this heat wave I think I will get a little bit of the running mojo back.  I don't know why I signed up for the stupid half.  I am somewhat regretting that.  The weather did cool off a lot yesterday and I got 3 miles in if you count the walk with Bailey.  I did drills and ran the last .25 in a 13:09 pace.  I was very pleased with that.  Last week was a recovery week so I did 2.6 miles at a 15:45.  The temperature was fine, mid 70's but with 95% humidity.  I got home right as it started to pour rain.  This weeks 6 miler has me a little concerned but I will walk it if I have to.  I don't hold out much hope for this half being a stellar run.  I just hope we have fun.  In other news, HMF just started training so at least we are on even ground when it comes to endurance.  She has ran one mile everyday this week following the LRM training schedule (I need to look that up).  I had to take Mr. Bailey to the vet yesterday, more on that below, and saw Dr. Suzanne (no sure what I used to call her in the CK blog) and she hadn't started training yet.  She was, however, in running clothes so I told her that counted for something.  She is signed up for Route 66 in November.  I am kind of tempted to sign up with her and suffer through but I don't really know if I want to do that to myself.  I am hoping that the weather gets cooler and running gets a little easier.  We shall see.

Yesterday was a telework day so I got up early to run before I started working and saw that Bailey's eye was in pretty bad shape.  He has been suffering from allergies for awhile but with his issues I have put off going to the vet.  I had no choice yesterday.  I took him on a short walk and at one point he shook his head and goop came out of his eye like snot 😟

My poor little man

I sent Suzanne a text asking her if she was working and she said no but she had to go in at noon to check on a patient so we could meet her up there.  My thinking was going to see her instead of going to our normal vet would kind of confuse Bailey and maybe keep him from having a full on anxiety attack.  It kind of worked.  He did fine in the waiting room, walked around sniffing getting on the scale for a treat - this was something we learned in puppy kindergarten and was for the most part fine.  When we went back to the room he started to get a little worried.  When the tech came in he was full on shaking.  She took him back with a little protest but he did go back with her.  Suzanne said once he was back there he was obviously scared but he let her do what she needed to do and even let her give him a kiss on the nose.  There was lots of growing once he got back to the room but that was to be expected.  He didn't snap at anyone and let Suzanne come around the exam table and took a treat (didn't eat it yet) that she dropped.  Anyway, he has the equivalent of puppy pink eye.  It isn't contagious so he is at daycare today with the instructions to  call me if he starts acting like he doesn't want to play.  He needs his eye drop every 8 hours so they will give him one around 1:30 so we can keep him on schedule.  I will call them in an hour or so since the regular girl wasn't at the desk and they were kind of busy.  His buddy Pepper came in and they were ready to play.  He was acting tired last night but I think it was more the stress than they eye infection.

Work is going to get interesting again.  They filled the lead position over my job with the one person everyone dislikes.  She is a controlling micromanager and that just isn't a good fit for the job.  I am almost having flashbacks of T-Rex.  The one good thing is that she isn't a supervisor.  I worry that the guy that I work with closer with than any of the other planners is going to leave because of it.  That will be bad for me and the district.  He sent an email to the bosses and told them that if she got the job he was going to start looking for other jobs.  I told him that was probably the kiss of death 😬 things like that never turn out the way you want them to.  Sure enough.  I almost put in for a job in contracting but I decided to give her a chance.  I will be eligible to retire in 9 years and 2 months.  I hope I will be able to afford it.

too freaking hot

Not much going on.  It is so hot outside that the running groups have all cancelled the group runs, not that I would participate.  It seems life has been hectic yet I can't think of much I have done lately.  My trainer is on vacation and I haven't gone to the gym once since she has been gone.  I have ran a little but it gets so hot so fast that I barely make it a mile before I am just done.  At least my weight is holding.

I broke down and took Bailey to a behaviorist over his increasing possessiveness o me.  I thought it went well until we were leaving and he jumped up and nipped her on the arm.  I'm not sure what to think about it.  I am almost convenience he just doesn't like going places all the time.  The behaviorist gave me a lot of information but I literally forgot everything she said after he acted out.  She was fine and just brushed it off, it wasn't a serious bite, just a back off my mom warning but still.  He does fine at daycare so he is still getting a little socialization. 

those eyes kill me 

his buddy Charlie at his birthday party

daycare pictures

new chew bone

I miss my old blog friends

I really miss reading the blogs of my old CK buddies.  My account expired but I am tempted to renew it just so I can go back in and copy my old journal.  I also know that is the only way I will be able to keep in touch with Jay since he doesn't do facebook.  Sometimes change makes me sad. 

Everything hurts this morning.  I got up and ran my drills, which was just about 2 miles.  It is hard on Tuesday mornings because I have to be back home and ready to work at 7 and I have to take Mr. Personality Bailey for a short walk or I will hear about it the rest of the day.  All of my 1/4 mile drills were right at 14 mm.  JG wants each quarter mile to be around 3:45 and I pretty much met that.  It doesn't help that it is surface of the sun hot. 

After work I did 30 minutes at the gym. 

45 seconds X 3
squat press (20)
mountain climbers on bosu
overhead carry. (20)

45 seconds X 2
single leg glute bridge
side plank hip raise each side.

I was drenched in sweat and glad I was just doing 30 minutes.

I am trying to get my days switched around though because 1. the girl that works out with me on Tuesdays is a freaking machine and I am holding her back 2. the stupid firefighter training Dennis goes to each week was switched to Tuesday from Wednesday and it just makes it difficult.  We workout at 5:30 so I have to leave at 5, Dennis doesn't get off work until 5, if he's lucky, and has to drive 30 + minutes.  Bailey and Marcy don't get along but for the most part she just ignores him.  They eat everyday at 6 and of course I would be at the gym at that time and Dennis would be rushed to get them fed and out the door.  You can't leave food down as that is a huge trigger for the dogs.  Since I telework that day we don't have the advantage of having a tired Bailey.  So it would be easier to just change days.  Next week we are switching it to Monday because I have a doctor appointment and Bailey has his behaviorist appointment.  The trainer is going to Europe for two weeks and will be out after next Tuesday.  I need to make sure and keep myself accountable for workouts even in her absence.

Kind of concerned about the doctor appointment.  I have lost a little more weight since the last time I was in and I think she may not renew my prescription for Sax.  I am on a low dose now and I have all kinds of fears the weight will come back when I stop taking it.  I am thinking about not taking the meds until after I see her so maybe I will have more of an appetite?  I know that sounds like some serious disordered eating.  I was going to add a but to that but it is what it is.  I don't care if I lose more weight, I just don't want to gain.  I would go so far as to say I like how I look but the lovely roll of skin from the years of extreme gain/loss/gain is disgusting.  I don't think it is in the cards go get it removed, just too expensive and painful.  At any rate, I weighed in at 116.6 this morning.

Tonight I am not going to do anything but watch the last few episodes of Mindhunter in preparation for the new season. 

struggle bus

Even though my weight is down to 115.4 workouts seem harder than they were 10 pounds ago!!  Last night's torture included

4X
10 assisted pull ups
15 cable rows (2 at 15 2 at 12.5)

3X 30 seconds
bicep curls with red band
tri pull downs with green band over trx bar

3X 30 second
rope pull
lower bicep curl (bar to bellybutton)

2X 30 second
Alternating toe reach
bicycle

I normally don't have a lot of pain with abs but this one about killed me.

In addition, the running portion of my workout routine has been equally horrific.  I did 4 miles two Saturday's ago and considered ubering back to my car at the half way point.  I ended up walking the last 1.5 miles.  Last weekend I was supposed to do 2 but it was closer to 1.5 and I walked the entire time with Bailey.  I was exhausted from the trip to Dallas and I just couldn't muster the will or the energy.  This weekend is 5 miles and I really just want to quit already.  Luckily the half marathon isn't until March but I just hate every minute of it.  The weather is supposed to be better this weekend but I still think I am going to opt for the treadmill.  JG told me to aim for walking 3.2 and the "running" portions 3.8.  I normally would do 4.2 but with as bad as it has been going he is right...that's what I pay him for.

So last week was interesting.  I had fun hanging out with my friend and I learned a lot but I kind of wish we had only volunteered one day and spent one day at the conference.  I have a renewed energy to get involved in rescue again and even went to my therapist and talked to him about it.  I learned that in the Dallas area there are 5 times as many stray cats as dogs, which is pretty typical.  A lot of shelters will no  longer take in cats (I am sure this is limited to "feral" but I didn't get a chance to ask a lot of questions) and opt for TNR.  I think this is what I want to focus on.  I did inquire with the SPCA about volunteering again but I think I will try and volunteer with the local TNR group.  The SPCA has already responded, the TNR group has not.  I have a lot of baggage when it comes to rescue groups and none of it is from the animals.  People are assholes and I have to go in with that mindset.  I also do not want to go all in and get involved with the committees and board, I just want to put in my time and go home.  I found out about a reserve medical corps that coordinates with shelters and rescues in emergencies that I have signed up for.  That is what I am most interested in tbh but with my job it is difficult to gauge what my involvement could be.  I talked to someone yesterday and they have started the required back ground checks.  There is training through Best Friends for emergency operations in two weeks but they ask for a 2 week commitment.  I know there will be training through OKMRC and I hope that I can maybe get into some of this through them.

There is lots more I could say about the conference but it is still kind of hard to wrap my mind around.  The best thing, when I first started in rescue almost 20 years ago they were estimating about 8 million animals were killed only because they didn't have a home, it is now less than one million.  The goal is no kill by 2025.  If I hadn't seen this data I would have never thought it possible. 

OK, what else...

I have an appointment set up for Bailey with a behaviorist because he is becoming overly protective of me in public places.  I have to get that under control or he will have to stop going places with me. If you know me you now I need a sidekick and there aren't many Hunter and Cookie's in this world. Those two spoiled me with how awesome they were. 

Have I posted since Bailey's birthday party? 

Thursday workout

Weight 117 this morning

Last night's workout

3 X
15 plank step out with slider (each side)
15 squat walk (each side)
I can't remember for the life of me

3X
10 plank slider arm circles (not sure what to call it)
15 glute bridge with abductor
20 bosu squat jumps

out of town next week for the Best Friends No More Homeless Pet's conference

Bailey's birthday party yesterday was a huge hit!!

Tuesday workout

I ran yesterday before work.  I did the 4 cadence drills.  I can't get the hang of the acceleration gliders but I gave it a try.  I averaged about 3:30 for each of the quarter mile drills and didn't pass out or die from heat exhaustion. 

Teleworked yesterday.  Work is starting to not be fun.  micro-managers suck the life out of moral.  Grateful it is a temp position and hoping that she doesn't get it permanently. I hate to get back in a situation like I was in 2 years ago.  My other team members feel the same but they think they might not give her the job if we talk to them.  Yeah, I've done that all before.  I was 15 minutes late for work today from dropping of Bailey (she knows I'm late on daycare days) and got the "please be punctual" speech.  Looks like I will be coming in the other set of door and taking the long way around from now on.  Just makes me want to do the bare minimum. 

Back to exercise and diet I only did 30 minutes at the gym last night.  I'm thinking on days that I run that probably isn't a bad thing.  My heart rate was out of control.

We started off with 3/4 mile bike and level 8.  My heart rate got up to 100% and stayed there so trainer decreased the level.  HR still didn't come down so she cut me off at .68 (so close).  We did 3 rounds of this but with decreasing mileage, so .5 the second and .25 the third set.  Also in the set:

15 sissy squats
walking squats with band above knees

The next round was X3

TRX reverse fly
medicine ball toss/squat
squat to upright row with kettle bell.

Should go without saying that my quads are toast today.  I'm not sure I could have done 30 more minutes. 

My HR chart shows 55 minutes (I don't take it off until I get home and I never remember to turn it off) 88% effort, high 195.  I was in the "red" zone 26 minutes.  660 calories burned.

I sent my running schedule to the trainer and we are supposed to figure something out so I don't hurt myself like I have in the past.  I don't think there will ever be a time where I will run for 3 weeks with a stress fracture.

My weight this morning was 117!!  That is a number I haven't seen in a long time. 

My throat still feels like there is a lump on my tonsils.  My speech path friend says it's because they are probably still swollen.  The tongue heals fairly quick but seeing as how it was at the very back of my tongue where it connects it will probably take a little longer.  We know it isn't cancer and that the growth is gone so it won't turn into cancer, that's all that matters.

Mad Gains

I suffered through the gym last night!!  Small victory but one I will take it.  I was definitely on the struggle bus and my heart rate was out of control HRM shows that most of the workout was in the red zone with max HR at 194.  I forgot to take the monitor off after my workout so it shows I burned 978 calories for 1 hour and 44 minutes of effort and with that it was still 77% overall effort.  My trainer told me to slow down several times towards the end.  The trend has been to do timed sets instead of a set number so I can vary the effort based on how I feel.

Last night we did:
30 seconds and 3 sets
one leg step up with kettle bell in opposite hand - leg stayed on the box. 30 sec for each leg
battle rope - wide circles
slider lunges - 30 seconds each leg

suitcase carry to end of gym, switch arm and return
squat press with 8 pound weights
upright row (20 pounds. I probably could have increased the weight if we could have found the 5 pound weight for the press)

2 sets
scissor kicks
plank step out

I feel really bad for my workout partner since I am still doing small groups.  I really felt like I was holding her back.  I didn't feel strong at any point in the workout and felt like I was kind of going through the motions, kind of light headed and struggling with  form.  I am just really glad that my anxiety let me leave the house without any major issues and without thinking of a thousand excuses to quit.  Showing up is the hardest part some days.  There were a few times, especially during the lunges that I just felt very unstable. 

I may contact my trainer to see about doing some one on one training for a few weeks until I get stuff sorted out. 

Work is horrible right now.  The lead we have in for the next few weeks is a controlling micro manger, which doesn't bode well for our type of job.  It is stressing everyone out to the point that one of our planners is setting up a tdy to be out as much as possible.  The job announcement closed last week and I really hope they don't give it to her.  It would really make our lives more difficult than they need to be.

I sent a text to my little sister yesterday asking her if she wanted to go to a fund raiser with me next weekend.  She sent me a text back around 11 last night, which normally wouldn't wake me up but for some reason did, she said she lost her job yesterday so she really didn't feel like doing anything like that.  So along with all the other issues she has had over the last year she has that to deal with.  I literally thought I was going to throw up when she told me. 

With all of this being said, I fell a little better today, a little more clear headed and the vertigo is better but the focus is not there at all.  I still feel oddly emotional.  Maybe I will see what the therapist's schedule looks like since he has it online, I mean it can't hurt.

I didn't weigh this morning but my weight has been up a little lately, only a pound or so.  I am thinking it has to be water retention from the lack of fluids and the heat.  I am just now getting to wear it feels somewhat normal to swallow. 

I don't know if I ever said anything about the medication I have been taking, Saxenda.  It seems like with most things that work in this country the manufacturer and the insurance companies are making it increasingly harder and more expensive to get.  Insurance wasn't covering it but I had a savings card that made the medication $30.00 a week (I had to get one pen, a weeks worth, filled at a time).  Apparently there is a limit of 12 refills on the savings card regardless of how many pens you get.  Without the card the medication is roughly $1200 a month.  My doctor switched me to another medication, that is exactly the same but with lower max dosage, which I was taking anyway since I had hit my goal weight.  This is marketed towards diabetes and not weight loss so for now insurance is covering it.  I'm not sure how long that will last.  There are some Canadian pharmacies that will ship if it comes to it at $500 for 5 pens (a month at full dose).  It is ridiculous.  I talked my doctor into upping the prescribed dose so I could have some pens saved up just in case.  With the biopsy last week I just started back on it yesterday. 

OK it's time to get busy... no puppy pictures today.

recovery sucks

So a week ago I had a spot on my tongue biopsied.  My dentist found this lesion (what the oral surgeon called it) and didn't think it was anything to worry about but wanted someone else to look at it.  The oral surgeon didn't think it was anything to worry about either but he, his words were "he is almost certain it isn't cancer but he doesn't know exactly what it was".  For some reason I thought this would be a simple little thing that I would have done and go to work after.  Man was I wrong.  I am still suffering a week later.  I thought they would just do like a needle biopsy but they cut that spot out and stitched it up.  I knew they would have to put me under because of the location way at the back of my tongue. I didn't even ask if it would hurt until they had me ready to go.  I am still struggling to eat real food, I was on protein shakes, mashed potatoes and pudding until Monday.  It still fills weird but I am admittedly a huge baby when it comes to anything with my mouth since I have had very little problems with my teeth.  I literally took every single pain pill they gave me and would have taken more, very much out of character for me.  Let me tell you though that they should give nitrous every time I have to have an IV!!.  I remember the doctor saying something about how he could see scars from previous IV's and I told him there were some on my inner arm from donating blood also.  He immediately became my favorite doctor when he said that I am too small to donate.  Anyway, I don't remember the needle going in at all.  It was amazing.  I'm mot sure when the results will be back but I am not going to worry about it.

I did nothing for the holiday.  I have done pretty much nothing but sleep since the biopsy.  I'm not sure if it's the drugs, the heat, or just my lazy fat ass but I am struggling.  I was 2 hours late for work on Monday and I'm never late like that.  I just literally could not function.  This morning was difficult too but I was able to make myself get up at 6, which is 20 minutes later than I normally get up.  I was still early to drop Bailey off at daycare but we weren't the first ones there for a change.  We have a meeting at 8:30 and I have a project that I have to get done by Friday or I might have just called in.  Although it is picture day at Bailey's daycare so he couldn't miss 💗   Daycare keeps us all sane.  

So I haven't been to the gym at all or ran since last Sunday.  I did 2 miles per JG and told him that I wouldn't probably not be able to run after the procedure but I honestly thought I would be able to get up Sunday and do my "long" run.  Now it is too hot to go after work so I will be stuck on the TM for awhile.  On my telework days maybe I could get up and run since I don't have to be at work so early and I could take Bai for a short walk.

I started this yesterday and had to get some work done.

So this morning was another one of those days, an hour late for work, couldn't make myself get up even though I fell asleep at 9:00 last night.  I was talking to a co-worker and I told her I think I have seasonal effective disorder in the summer months.  The heat just drains me and makes me want to hide away in the A/C and not come out.  She kind of surprised me when she said she really felt the same way but her's is the opposite and she can't sleep instead of sleeping all the time.  Funny. She was a park ranger too, maybe it has something to do with that?  At any rate the summer is just starting so I am going to have to figure out a way to work through it.  I have only been to the therapist once since Christmas so I could do that.  I also am really bad about taking my anti-depressant, I set an alarm on my phone and I am committing to take that regularly.  If I don't see any changes I will call my doctor and have her do some blood work.  I have been diagnosed with pernicious anemia in the past and I know I have a vitamin D deficiency (haven't really been taking that either) both of those could also be attributing.  I can go to the walk in clinic and get a B-12 shot at lunch so I might do that.  I also kind of wonder if the biopsy is bothering me more on a psychological level than I am admitting to myself.  Hopefully they will call with the results soon.

At any rate, I am going to the gym tonight.  I am trying to decide if I should send my trainer a text  and warn her or ask her if I can do a few half hour sessions.  Then again I should probably just get over myself and do what I know I am capable of.

OK enough of that, but I do want to put this down so if I feel like this next year I have something to look back on.

 

change in plans

I normally would have my Thursday workout posted, but as it turns out there wasn't one.  I was psychologically ready and even had a little work rage I was gong to channel but some asshat force a change in plans.

This is going to be long and rambling because there are just SO.MANY.THINGS

First off, work.  Our boss left in November and his boss retired in March.  Because of this they didn't fill the first boss's job so the new boss would get a say in who would be his branch lead.  In the meantime they are filling with some temporary duty positions.  The person who was filling in was perfect, I love her and she did a great job.  Her TDY ended Friday and the new one started Monday.  I don't like her.  She is another team member but she is the one that thinks she needs to be in charge and makes snarky little comments when she should just keep her mouth shut.  For example, Wednesday the lake manager for one of the lakes was here.  This is the lake that will host the swim portion of the ironman next year.  She made the comment that since the event is going to be staged at a leased area we wouldn't have to do anything.  The manager was like, um yeah we do, her comment back was "read your EC dear" he went right back at her about how the lease doesn't go in the middle of the lake, so we do in fact need the permit "dear".  The whole thing just gave me a sense of dread.  Then yesterday we had an award ceremony.  Part of it was to recognize the people who helped with the flood.  The team member that just came off the detail nor myself were called to accept what amounts to a participation trophy but guess who did get one....new lead.  It should upset me as much as it did but I find it highly suspicious that all of her buddies were recognized.  I said something to the organizer later and she told me to "just go up and get one, I'm sure your name was on the list but we were told you wouldn't be here"  WTF?  Again, my anxiety was glad I wasn't called up but my sense of impending dome was much stronger.  The job just went public last week and I am honestly scared that this person will get the job permanently. 

In the middle of all this Dennis sends me a text with a couple of picture of a wet kitten.  He is all the time sending me pictures of peoples animals that they encounter so I just sent him a text back and told him to bring it to me.  He text back and said that he probably was going to have to.  Dennis was at one of the boat ramps testing a motor when a car drove up, barely slowed down and threw something in the water.  It didn't take them long to realize what it was and get to the little guy.  He swam back to the shore but he was exhausted, starved, and terrified.  We are calling him Hudson because that was the lake they were on.  Anyway, Hudson went to the vet and they said he is 6-8 weeks old and 1.6 pounds.  He is very loving and playful and needs a home where there isn't an almost one year old juvenile delinquent to worry about.  I mean how do you even introduce a cat that small to an almost 40 pound puppy? 

So they get back to the shop and they found a puppy in the security fence!!  At this point I was close to rage crying.  They found a home for the puppy and I just have to believe he went to a good place or I will drive myself crazy with worry.  I can't save them all, I know that but I still worry.

So Hudson came to my house last night.  I drugged Bailey up so he wouldn't be so playful and he did ok, Truman is way to interested in him but he licks him.  Casper acts like she is scared of him and Ninja doesn't want him in the house.  I have no idea how to introduce him into the pack.  We really want to find him a home but he is having some breathing issues, probably from inhaling water from the lake.  We need to make sure he is healthy before we can get him vaccinated and into a home unless we can find a reliable foster.  People aren't knocking down our door. 

It was probably good that Dennis couldn't get to the person in time or he would be prison. 

OK, I am getting out of the office as much as possible over the next 90 days.  I'm heading  to the lake.

Last nights workout

So I am busy on a tasker right now but I wanted to come in and write up my workout from last night before I forgot.

I was running a little late because Mr. Bailey decided to play in the "pond" and I had to get him dried off.

45 seconds X3
front squat with kettle bell
kind of a squat thrust with the band instead of weights - squat to overhead shoulder press basically
lateral one leg step up - 45 for each leg

45 seconds X4
kickbacks with band hooked around foot, foot to the corner
RDL - 30 pounds (!)
glute bridge with single leg slide outs (my hamstrings hate me today)

Only one set of abs!!
90 second elbow plank (I did it!)
45 second hollow body hold

I didn't feel like I was going to throw up after but I also didn't feel like eating either.

Tomorrow will be another really busy day so I will be back on Friday, sneak peak, my aunts memorial service, Bailey turning into a juvenile delinquent, unexplained anxiety.  I know you are on the edge of your seat.

Thursday workout

I am cranky and exhausted today so I am going to try not to come off as super negative.

Overall my week has been pretty productive.  I can't remember what day it was, must have been Wednesday,
 - I got my last allergy shot of this series,.  I am now on maintenance and only have to go in once a month.
- bought new running shoes, Hoka One One Gaviota.  They are incredibly clunky and big but they seem to feel good as far as cushion goes.  I wore them to the gym yesterday and I'm not 100% sure I like them.  The store I bought them at has a 60 day return policy.  The Brooks Adrenaline were a close second but the toe box was a little short and narrow so I would have had to go up another half size.  I will get on the TM or try to get up early and do a little run to see how they do.
- Got signed up for e-coaching with JG with my questionnaire filled out and back to him to build the schedule.  I'm pretty sure he remembers most of us that he has e-coached in the past, it might very well be just a file he keeps on his computer, but he always seems to remember past issues.  It will be interesting to see what his plan is after a 4 year hiatus with very little running.  I have 8 months to train so we will see.  I anticipate the first part of that just having me walk to build up my stamina again.  I'm fine with that.

Yesterday I had planned on taking off early and getting a facial.  I signed up for a year of beauty at the med-spa I go to and you get one treatment a month and discounts on all other services.  If you don't make it a month they tack it on the end of your year.  Obviously I missed May but I had planned on going in and taking advantage of this month's service.  I was going to leave at 1:30 for my 2:00 appointment but my new boss asked me to sit in on a meeting for him because he was double booked so I stayed and sat in on the meeting.  I will go in next Friday which is kind of better anyway.

Last nights workout consisted of:
600 meter row to warm up

3X
15 TRX triceps press
30 band pull aparts
15 triceps cable rope pulldown (15 pounds)
10 (each side) single arm row (20 pounds)

3X
300 meter sprint row (less than 90 seconds)
15 Y raises on TRX
15 tri pulldown with band over TRX bar

2X
30 second straight hollow ab rocker
20 lateral plank foot tap with a crunch bonus (I thought I was going to die)

I have had to cut way back on the amount of weight I am able to lift but I have been out for almost 6 weeks.  I am still able to hang just not as heavy.  At least I'm going and not having major anxiety about it so I will call it a win.  I didn't even think about excuses to get out of if yesterday.  My arms are pretty much toast today and I fear what she has in store for my legs next week. 

BTW my trainer has started a blog at https://laurenfitter.com which I love, she also has a facebook, I think it is fitwellmindful, anyway, she is a great trainer always coming up with new and interesting ways to combine exercises and maximize time...or as I like to call it "all kinds of fresh hell to make me question my life choices". 

My heart rate has been doing something strange in that it has been pretty normal when I worked out this week.  I was kind of glad to see it shoot up during the row sprints.  I have a myzone which shows up on the screen at the gym and it must have gotten really into the red because Lauren came over to the row machine and told me to slow to 2 minutes instead of 90 seconds for the 300 meter.  I found that to be a little humorous because it is all just kinda normal for me.  I was starting to think the HRM needed charged or something.

When I got home from the gym I realized I had changed into my new running shoes in the living room and couldn't remember where I put my less than one week old pair of birks.  Well sure enough I didn't put them up very well because Bailey destroyed them.  We are trying to give him a little more freedom, normally I wait until 6 to workout and give Dennis a little time to get home from work so he doesn't have time to get in trouble but I figured having Z around might have helped him grow up a little...wrong.  I like getting to the gym at 5:30 though and getting it out of the way so I am just going to have to be better at putting things up where he can't get them.  Crating is always an option but he HATES it.  We use the crate for dinner time, we have always crated him at meal times to keep him from trying to bully Marcy into giving up her food (she isn't much of a fighter and shouldn't have to be at this point in her life) and to keep Truman with his pancreatitis and expensive hospital stays out of the rich puppy food.  Bailey will lay in his crate when he needs some down time and I don't want him to start boycotting the crate because he sees it as punishment. 

While I am on the topic of Bailey, I got his birthday party at daycare booked!!  Of course we really don't know when his birthday is but based on what we guessed his age to be when I found him and the fact that I found him on Christmas Day we decided to declare July 25 his birthday.  I had his party booked for that day but I will be out of town most of that week for the Best Friends Animal Society No More Homeless Pets conference.  I can't have is birthday party without being in town - even if we aren't going to be there,  so I moved it up to the 18th.  His daycare charge like $90 and they decorate a room, invite his closest daycare friends (Pepper, Nayla, Bisky, Owen) they make a cake and ice cream and take pictures and video.  I am so excited about it.  I may get a small cake from the dog bakery and see if they can do the smash cake since the pet photographer is so stinking expensive.  I am so glad my dogs aren't spoiled.

So the weekend will be short.  I will probably go at lunch to a shoe store close by and get a new pair of birks.  When I was at Sam's last week I saw some cheap look alikes for maybe $9.99, might be a good idea and grab a couple of pair for backups but that will have to be done on Saturday.  Sunday is the memorial for my aunt, which I am obviously not looking forward to.  They are having it at my cousin's house 3 blocks from my parents and my mom is already scheming to get 'someone' to help her go open the pool at their house.  I should suck it up and go help her but I hate how she does that.

OK lots to do.  No pictures today unless you want to see the mangled shoes.  It isn't pretty.

back to normal

Gosh, this might be a long one.  I will see if I can't focus my ADD mind enough to make it at least half way readable.

Zorro went to his new home Wednesday.  I would like to say I am over the moon for the couple that got him but I'm really not.  They are good people and seem to be very active but they have a very small backyard with a garden and asked questions like "will he dig?"  We (the rep from border collie rescue and recovery BCRR) told them that he will dig, chew the brick off the house, very well might make an attempt to take over the world if you don't keep him active and engaged.  We gave them pretty much every bad thing that you can encounter, especially with a BC - they are first time dog owners - and they still wanted him.  I know they are going to have him sleep in his crate and for some reason that breaks my heart because he slept with me and loved to cuddle.  But, again, he is a border collie and needs boundaries.  I really wish this would have worked out for me and I think I will always feel a little guilt about the situation but I got him out of the shelter and healthy enough to find a home that we could screen.  His new dad sent me a text this morning asking if I sent him the paperwork he will need to get him in obedience so at least he is trying.  I know they will love him but I'm still going to stalk their house for awhile.  

In the meantime my house is quiet, the cats are almost back to normal and Bailey loves being the center of attention again.  Truman is also much happier, the puppies played pretty rough and he felt like he needed to step in and referee which created a whole new level of stress and anxiety to my life.  Little T-Man is back to his life of leisure sitting right next to me in the recliner.  Marcy, bless her, is just Marcy.

Also on Wednesday I had an appointment with an oral surgeon.  When I had my teeth cleaned the dentist noticed white, somewhat hard, growth at the base of my tongue.  Neither him nor the OS thinks it's cancer but they don't know what it is.  I have had too many people tell me horror stories about similar situations where it did turn into cancer to not take it seriously.  I don't think it is anything serious but I would like to know what it is.  So I am going in July 3rd to have it biopsies.  I had already planned on taking July 5th off and the doctor said I would be back to work on Monday.  They will have to sedate me because of the location of the growth, I mean it is way back at the base of my tongue so it will take some maneuvering to get it out.  Dennis will really enjoy the quiet since I'm sure my mouth will be swollen and maybe talking won't be so easy.

I haven't been to the gym in well over a month.  I talked to my trainer and will start back up on Tuesday.  For some stupid reason I sent a message to my two running friends, HMF and DVM (vet friend) when they released the theme for the Little Rock Marathon...."THE 80'S" and asked them how much fun they thought that would be.  Long story short, I booked the hotel.  It isn't until 1 March so there is plenty of time to put off training.  I think I will sign up for Galloway training again since I literally haven't ran in 4 years.  I would walk it though and not feel bad about it but I still need some training.  The last time I thought I would like to start running again I felt really bad about how slow I was and decided it wasn't worth the effort but now I have friends involved and I'm the one with the gov id to get the federal rate so looks like I will suck it up and start training.  I can't decide if I'm excited or not.  I will talk to my trainer on Tuesday.

One of my dad's sister's passed away yesterday.  It wasn't unexpected but I know my dad is taking it hard.  Of the 10 kids there are only 3 left now.  They aren't having services but they will have a family get together/celebration of life party in the next few weeks.  My cousin that my parents raised is planning on coming in and I look forward to seeing her.  She is so much like my baby sister, I miss her so much and we always have a blast when she is here and I spend a ton of money doing all the things we don't normally get to do since I only see her once every few years.  In the course of notifying everyone about my aunt passing my bat shit crazy cousin that is pretty much cut off from most of the family posts something on FB about the loss to the family.  This crazy bitch literally filed an order of protection against the aunt that passed away because the aunt was asked to live with my uncle (her brother) to help take care of his infant grandson (mom in prison...that's a little bit of the crazy from that little branch of the family tree).  If I remember right BSC cousin pepper sprayed the aunt while she had the baby in her arms.  The fact that said baby is now 19 and lived with the aunt that just passed away speaks volumes about who actually cared for him.  Anyway, I was so pissed off.  I posted that my aunt's kids had asked that nothing be put out on FB because she has grandchildren in college that live away and they wanted to make sure everyone knew.  She pretty much posted back that she has no connection to any of them and wanted to ask for prayers for my other aunt.  I so wanted to put something snarky up asking if that protection order expired or something petty but I let it go.  I know she just put that up for attention.  I need to delete her but she is crazy enough that someone in our immediate family needs to keep an eye on her.  My mom and sister both have her blocked for good reason.  I could write a book on that crazy.

So on to natural disasters, lol.  I worked 45 hours in 3 days at the sandbag command center from 7pm until 7:30 am.  Thankfully the water started to recede pretty quickly after a couple of days of no rain upstream.  It was exhausting and it was way harder to come back from that shift then it was to go to that shift.  The flood was pretty devastating to the area, we got lucky and no one from my immediate family was effected.  My parents were in the path of a small tornado the Saturday before Memorial Day.  They were without power for 3 days and sustained about $10,000 (minorish) damage to their house.  Not sure how long it will take to get someone out to fix it.  The important thing is everyone is safe.

Weight loss efforts has been ok.  I am about 118 and am fine here.  I bought a pair of size 2 shorts at Old Navy.  They were on sale and Bailey was with me so I didn't try them on.  They fit but I like the 4's better as I like my jeans pretty loose.  I had planned on wearing them to Tulsa Tough but I didn't get to go with Z in the picture.  I hope I can still wear them next year.  OH, in totality unrelated news they announced that there is going to be an Ironman in Tulsa next year, I am way too excited for someone that has no aspirations to ever participate in an IM.  I will either volunteer or see if the lake office needs me to help them because it is going to be HUGE.  Did you know it cost a minimum of like $700 for registration fees?

I haven't updated on A in awhile and that is mostly because he is doing really well.  HMF got a new job with a nice salary and her husband quit his job to be a stay at home dad.  Although this has been a little confusing for A, which can cause some behavioral issues, he is handling it pretty well.  HMF is super stressed as the only income for the family but I think she will feel a little better when thing settle down.  A has discovered hockey and he is a natural.  He tried out for a competitive team and made it (he has only been skating since Christmas) and it has done so much for his self esteem.  This is another source of stress for HMF because it is super expensive.  For one season it is around $5,000.  She started a gofundme, which I am generally not a fan of but in this case I sent them what money I could afford.  I am pretty sure his grandparents will make sure he has the money to get on the team but I want to make sure and do my part.  I am kind of looking forward to watching him play in August.  I will continue to help support however I can because I know it means a lot to A.

I have more but I think I will end it here and not bore you to tears.  I will add all the pictures to the bottom of my sandbag days, tornado damage and Zorro/Bailey.

Tornado damage to my parent's house

my time at the sandbag yard.  I made one sandbag as I really was doing logistics but they wanted the photo op.

one of the calmer moments with the dynamic dou Bailey looks so tiny

Zorro's last sleep at my house

on the way to daycare this morning listening to me tell him about the birthday party he is going to have next month.

 

Keystone Dam with Bailey.  This is the release that was causing flooding problems downstream in the immediate area (at no fault off COE)

Foster guilt

So I kind of feel like I was manipulated into taking on another dog.  Don't get me wrong, I pretty much love all dogs...if you have a dog I love it even if I have never met it and I always want to see pictures.  But I digress.  Anyway, this amazing fluff was adorable and everyone said he was amazing. His write up said that he was very unpuppylike, smart, good with dogs and ignores cats.  This was his write up:

“This is the dog who was found at the Feeding the Pets of Tulsa’s Homeless Pets Thursday events. He is 8 months old, 42lbs and as calm and happy and easy going as they come. Unphased by being in the shelter. Quick learner easy to correct and listens and learns. Loves other dogs and had his face in the 120lb pits face at the even and wanting to play. LOVES children. Ignores cats. He almost has the BC personality but without the hyper energy. If you any anyone this pup is wonderful! Susan had him leashed sitting with her just so he wouldn’t wander. He laid there with her for over an hour, calm and happy just to be with her. The most unpuppy. He loves to play with toys but doesn’t fetch. Would be a good companion dog to a dog or a human.  Very nice boy.”

  He instantly caught my attention.  He was adopted so we were all happy to see him go to a home.  That was on a Friday and he was returned to the shelter on Saturday.  All shelters are different and this one doesn't give a lot of chances to dogs that are returned.  I told my friend that works with TAW that I would go get him Tuesday when I got off work if he was still there.  So Tuesday about 10 I start getting messages from some of the volunteers that pull for other groups (not my friend that I have worked with for Cookie and Marty, she just lost a dog and is taking a step back ) that he was not going to be put up for adoption and the shelter was going to put him on the next available transport no matter where it was going - keep in mind we are having historical flood events and tornadoes.   They ask if they could get him to me if I would be able to pick him up any earlier.  Well, I was teleworking that day and had just left my house, with Bailey, to get something to eat a little before 11.  They told me to come get him right then, even though the shelter isn't open until noon if I could and they would get him to me because he was critical.  Looking back the whole thing is just fishy and I should have stuck to my guns about waiting.  My thought process was that I would give someone with less going on their life a chance to adopt him before I took him in and this just blew that idea out of the water.  Anyway, I get him and they literally have me drive to the back get Bailey out of the car and let them kind of meet, put him in the backseat and with his shot records and wish us the best of luck.  I was instantly in love with those green eyes but the whole thing felt odd and I didn't have a chance to process any of it. 

So I get them home.  Bailey is ok with him but Truman is pissed(not unusual).  Marcy was just completely aggravated that we had the nerve to upset her little universe yet again.  Then he saw the cats.  I can assure you he does not ignore cats.  We have one bedroom blocked off so the cats have a safe space to get away from Bailey.  That really isn't an issue anymore but I think it makes them feel safe since they were feral.  So Zorro (we decided to name him Zorro btw) saw the cats and chased them into that room, cleared the barricade and jumped up on the dresser to try and get to the kittens.  They were terrified and Zorro was not giving up easy.  I know you have to give it some time but I totally wasn't expecting this since they said he was good with cats.  The cats hid all night and Zorro would have bouts of extreme curiosity and go off in search of them.  Bailey was jealous but ok. 

Zorro isn't allowed at Bailey's daycare because they require a two week isolation after they are adopted from the shelter.  We did crate him for a short time but I am not about to lock him up for over 8 hours when we don't know what his history is with crating.  We we were also not about to leave him in the house.  So Dennis took Bailey to his daycare and I took Zorro to the vet/daycare where he can be put in isolation with some outside time (we figure he has kennel cough).  I get to work and I start to almost have a panic attack because I finally have a few minutes to think about what all has happened.  I sent the lady that pulled Z a text and told her that he most definitely does not ignore cats, to which I was told to just give it time.  I also start to have extreme mom guilt about having to divide my attention away from Bailey.  I pretty much have to fight off tears and I seriously start to regret taking him home.  Of course I won't take him back to the kill shelter, but I decided this has to be a foster situation.  I contact the lady again and she tries to guilt me into changing my mind.  She told me that if I just keep him they will write it off and there is no adoption fees, they will just call him mine (I'm beginning to think she low key stole him).  She contacted the president of the border collie rescue and they tell me that if they list him and I change my mind and decide to keep him it will cost me $300 and they will have to go through the process of approving me as a foster (the dog has been in my house for 24 hours at this point) or I can just keep him.  I tell her I can live with that, list him and if I can't find him the perfect home than I know he is meant to be mine.  She isn't happy about it and repeatedly tell me that I really need to give him more time to acclimate to the cats, in the meantime he is trying to jump up on the kitchen table and cabinets to get to Ninja and Casper has all but disappeared outside.  Bailey is showing a little food aggression (I can work with that) and my guild and anxiety level is through the roof. 

About lunchtime my boss comes to me and asks if I want to work in the emergency ops center.  I tell him absolutely.  I will be working 7:00pm - 7:30am until the water starts to go down in the levees and we feel we can comfortably stop the sand bag operation and pull the pumps... could be a few days, could be 2 weeks.   I think this will work out great because Dennis can be home with them at night and I can be there during the day and we can try and make the transition.  I had some equipment I had to be fitted for and they sent me to have that done and told me to just go home and try to get ready to start working the opposite schedule of what I am used to.  I get that done, go get the boys and go home.  Ninja is teasing Z but Casper had completely disappeared at this point.  I sent the lady another text and told her that I did, in fact, want to list Zorro as a foster and would be more than willing to do whatever it takes but that I was going to have very limited time to get them what they needed.  She tried to guilt me into keeping him again and I told her that I had filled out the paperwork and was sending it to them that day.

So I took a nap when I got home and stayed up all that night and had to leash Zorro to keep him from chasing Ninja.  After several hours of that and a few more tears of stress and frustration I just put Ninja outside.  No sight of Casper. 

When I got home on Saturday morning there was Casper laying out on my deck!!!  I sneak out there and talk to her.  She isn't about to come in the house and she won't stick around if she thinks Zorro is going to be outside, but she talked to me and let me scratch her.  She is back to not letting me pick her up but I am fine with that for now. 

So it is almost a week later and Zorro still tries to climb up on the cabinets after Ninja and jumps the gate to the spare bedroom.  When I let him outside he runs to where he knows the cats run off to and tries to find them. 

We are not the right fit for this dog.  I am about to cry just saying that.  I love him  he is a cuddle bunny and he loves and trusts me completely.  I have overwhelming guilt about this, about taking time from Bailey and about making my cats feel uncomfortable.  No matter what I do I'm the asshole.

The lady that I have been working with send me a text asking me questions about why Marcy's vaccinations are late (we had to send all the vet information stuff in when we signed for the foster program).  I told her that Marcy is terminal and that was the vets decision, I wasn't sure why they wouldn't explain that to her.  She said "well they were very busy"  She then asked me to set up a time to factime her and show me the areas that Zorro hangs out.  I pretty much lost it at this point.  I told her that with my work schedule I have about 8 hours to shower, sleep, do laundry, and play with the dogs.  Zorro had been in my house and safe for a few days and I didn't have time to deal with that.  I had sent her several pictures as well as the pictures on facebook and if that wasn't sufficient then they should probably just pull him from my house and find a better foster home for him.  She ended up agreeing with me and telling me he is fine where he is, duh.  I mean she didn't ask for an ID when I picked him up just went off the fact that I am friends with some pretty serious rescue people on FB.

Yesterday as I'm getting home from work and taking my ambien to get to sleep the EOC calls and tells me that they are pulling all the pumps and that I am no longer needed to work overnights TYJ but could continue to work days if I just wanted to.  I told them that we have two people out of the office this week and I will be fine going back to my normal life of short 8 hour work days.  Dennis had to drive me to the office to turn in some of the stuff because I had taken my meds and flood watch was officially over.  We stopped for lunch on our way back to the house and HMF sends me a text telling me that there were 3 people from dog school who wanted to adopt Zorro and had inquired before they contacted me and they told them he was not available.  So I fell very manipulated and I am very upset for the poor dog who will be uprooted from a human he loves and trusts.  Keeping him really isn't an option because even though I am not a cat person, I refuse to put them in harms way.  Do I think he will hurt them?  not intentionally but I can't take that chance and I don't have the patience or knowledge to train him to accept cats nor do I know how to train a semi feral cat to stop running and he may stop chasing you. 

The whole thing is pretty upsetting.  I feel like a horrible person on so many different levels.  I love this dog but I hate the position they put us in.  This could have all been avoided and he could have gone to some experienced dog handlers. 

In other news, my parents house sustain minor damage from the tornado before memorial day.  I will post about that later I am emotionally drained from this post. 

Here are a few more pictures.

My first official sandbag.

Retail Therapy

Turns out I was patient zero.  Dennis came home from work Wednesday so sick he  didn't go to his firefighter training (he never misses).  I tried to make him get up and go to urgent care but I couldn't.  He ended up going right after work on Thursday and had pretty much the same stuff I had but more bronchial issues.  They gave him a breathing treatment and an inhaler.  Apparently the radiologist told the doctor that he saw something on the x-ray that could be COPD.  That kind of pissed me off.  I seriously doubt Dennis has COPD and I don't like them stressing him out about it, but they are going to send the report to his doctor to see about setting up further testing.  He was feeling better but we are both still battling the cough.

I teleworked on Thursday and late that afternoon Bailey started up with the cough.  I ended up getting him to the vet when I got off work.  The best guess is kennel cough or allergies.  He got antibiotics and steroids and something for his cough.  I teleworked again on Friday so I could stay home with him.  I ended up taking him back to the vet because he was just not feeling any better.  He got a stronger steroid, another antibiotic, and some good cough medicine.  He is doing better but he still isn't his normal rambunctious self.

I'm not sure how long he will need to stay home from daycare.  I have read from 7-14 days.  If he can kick the cough I think he will be ok.  We don't even need to think about daycare until Wednesday so I will just see how he is doing then.

He was a sick cuddly little puppy.

I broke down Saturday and did a little shopping.  I really want to wear the cute new dresses I got but I just don't have shoes that I feel go with any of them.  Bailey was pretty drugged up so I didn't feel too bad about leaving him for a few hours.  I had to do a Target run so it was a good opportunity to see what they had to offer and maybe go by the mall.

I got my Target stuff done and stopped at Burlington but found nothing.  I decided to hell with it.  I hate shoe shopping and always buy cheap shoes because I have stupid feet, and they are never comfortable anyway.  But, I went to Dillard's to see if I could find anything that fit my flat wide feet and skinny ankles.  I was temporarily side tracked by a purse sale, which I had been looking for a new one so score.

I love all the pockets.  I usually hate Michael Kors because they are just open totes but this one has pockets for days..

I looked through the shoe department and found two pair that I really liked.  One pair was reasonably priced

They are pretty comfortable.  The leather is soft.  I wore them Monday and didn't get a blister.

I tried on the second pair, Sorel wedges and came close to buying them, but just couldn't fork over $150 without looking around.  Since they lace up they actually fit pretty well and I think they will be reasonable comfortable?  I looked online and found some similar but I wasn't sure they were exactly the same.  I went back and got them the next day.  Hopefully they will last me a few summers and they will look cute with all kinds of outfits.  I expected to feel a little buyer remorse but I haven't yet.  That may change the first day I wear them.  I will bring a pair of flip flops as back up just in case.  I hope they are as comfortable as they felt in the store.  I am really excited about my new wardrobe, now I just have to make sure I don't outgrow it.. The weather has been pretty gross so I haven't worn the wedges yet. 

Speaking of weather, we are getting hammered.  Monday the atmosphere was perfect for bad storms.  They cancelled schools and sent people home from work early, well, not us since we deal with emergency management issues and have to be prepared for the flood control aspect of the storms.  I think I left about 20 minutes early and traffic was kind of scary quiet.  It didn't start storming until later that evening, after I had fell asleep.  The tornado sirens started going off and cycled for a good 30 minutes.  It looked like it was going to come pretty close to us but it fell apart before it got too close.  I teleworked yesterday and woke up to the sound of tornado sirens.  I sat there for a few minutes trying to decide if I should take it seriously or not but finally got my fat ass out of bed and turned on the news.  Again, rotation at the airport about 9 miles from me but it was on a little different trajectory and was expected to go north of me.  I was a little cranky yesterday to say the least. 

We have several lakes that are in flood stage, one that has a direct impact on Tulsa so that is causing all kinds of issues at work.  I am glad I'm not a hydro engineer about right now. 

Alright, I need to call and check on my Bai and see how he is doing.  If he is coughing I will go pick him up.  They are closed on Friday and I am seriously considering taking the day off.  He has stayed home by himself.  He is about 10 months old though so he should be ok.... 

catching up

Not sure where I left off, it's been a minute.

There really isn't much going on.

My weight is down to 120.2, which I am very surprised about with all the travel.  I also had to really cut back on the Saxenda because the savings card I had been using expired after 12 uses.  At the max dose, which I was taking, I went through one pen every week.  The card made the cost of one pen $29.99, without the card it was $275 FOR ONE WEEK!!  Since I am more or less at my goal weight I figured I probably needed to cut back to more of a maintenance dose anyway.  So I went back to the minimum dose.  I started on a different medication today which is the same active ingredient but marketed as a diabetes drug and insurance paid for it!!

So two weeks ago was my national advisory meeting in St. Paul.  It was fine.  I froze the entire time.  I was impressed with the skyway system, which kept you from having to walk much outside, kind of like a human habitrail.  It was difficult to navigate but we had a local with us most of the time.  She said it took her forever to figure it out.  I got there on Monday and decided to do the obligatory mall of america trip.  I'm not sure what I was expecting but it was just a mall.  I think I was picturing it with more open space?  I did a little shopping, bought 3 adorable dresses at H&M, a store I had never been to.  I also ate dinner at the Hard Rock, which was expensive and barely edible but I got to see the Prince memorabilia.  I would have been better off eating at a fast food place but I sat and watched some kids ride the roller coaster and the small amusement park so it was entertaining.  I only spent a few hours or so at the mall before I derided I would rather just go back to the room and sleep.

The meetings themselves were long and monotonous but interesting none the less.  I learned a lot and found out I have lots to learn.  The group is pretty good though and I think they will help me fumble my way though.  Food, overall, was ok for having to eat out.  Lots of salad and grilled chicken. I mostly did what has been working for me over the last several weeks, eat until I'm full and if I'm really not hungry, don't eat.  My biggest downfall was this place called Legends Chocolates, which had the best truffles!!  I tried the 41%, 68% and the 85% with the 68% caramel pecan being my favorite.  They also had brownies and cake and all kinds of sinfully good treats.  Besides the truffles I got a brownie and split it with a few co-workers.  By Thursday night, the day before I left, I was not the least bit hungry and it was too cold to do much so I mostly ate the remaining chocolate and got ready to go home.  Nothing super exciting.

I got home Friday in the middle of a torrential downpour, which made my flight lat getting in and traffic horrible.  I got my car from the airport lot and went straight over to get Bailey from daycare.  He was so excited to see me.  It took forever to get home.  I realized that I forgot to request my ambien refill and the doctor's office was closed for the day so I would have to scramble around and get to an urgent care that would be willing to write the prescription.  So much for my one full day home.

So Saturday I tried to do the online doctor but they wouldn't give the script so I ended up going to a small urgent care close to my house.  That doctor said he wouldn't write a script for it either because it can be abused (I had my old bottle showing the date and with like 3 pills left) so I ended up scrambling to the main urgent care.  Luckily it wasn't busy.  If I hadn't been leaving town the next day it wouldn't have been that big of a deal but I know I wouldn't be able to sleep in an unfamiliar hotel room.  I finally got that all taken care of about 8 Saturday night.

Sunday about 3 am I woke up with the worse sore throat.  I was miserable.  My flight left at 2:30 and I hadn't started packing yet so I didn't want to waste another day at urgent care.  I ended up doing the online appointment through the urgent care I used Saturday.  As luck would have it, the same doctor got the request.  He told me that since I was fine the day before it was probably viral and called in a dose pack for steroids.  It made the trip kind of miserable.  That being said, I love Boise.  I could live there.  We did a lot of group meet ups in the evenings to different brewery's.  Monday night I went with the group, Tuesday I went shopping at the downtown boutiques and met up with the group later for a drink, Wednesday we had a group field trip to Lucky Peak so a lot of us didn't want to do a big dinner, we splintered off and went to a place called Boise Fry Company (you pick the type of potato and the way you want them cut) for happy hour.

By Thursday I was full on sick.  I really wanted to stay in my room and sleep but that wasn't an option.  I considered going back to my room after class and sleeping but I don't know when I will be back to ID and I really did enjoy the town.  So I took my sick ass out with the group again.  We ended up at a brewery that made an amazing cider and an ice cream shop that made alcohol infused ice cream (I didn't try it) and served beer/ice cream flights (again, nope).  I didn't stay out very long but tried to enjoy the last day there.

Friday my flight was supposed to leave at 7 am but I got a text before I got back to my room Thursday night that it had been delayed an hour.  This made for a really tight connection but I made it to the gate as they were loading the last group.  I mostly slept on the long leg of the flight but was so miserable I just wanted to get home.  I broke down and went back to urgent care Friday night and got a shot, which finally started helping.

So I didn't partake in any of the mother's day festivities, I had planned on taking my mom and sister to a nail day but I will see if they want to go this weekend instead.

I had my 3 month doctor appointment that is required for my anxiety meds Monday afternoon.  I told her about the $$ associated with Saxenda, she knew it was expensive but didn't have any idea just HOW expensive.  We had talked about the alternative previously but didn't think insurance would touch it without blood sugar issues.  I was completely shocked that it went though. My doctor asked me how much more weight I wanted to lose and I told her that I didn't really care if I lost anymore, I just want to maintain and I know that going off the medication completely is probably not conducive to keeping the weight off.  She found a sample pen of Sax and wrote the script for Victoza so I hope I am set.  On the minimum dose one pen should last a month. 

I was supposed to meet up with my trainer last night but I decided to take the week off and recover from the crud.  I hope I feel well enough to get back at it on Tuesday.  It feels like I have been out forever.  I need to get online and see what the group schedule looks like.  I know it will change around a little for summer and I want to see if there is anything that looks like fun. 

So in my travels I bought 4 adorable dresses but I don't have a single pair of shoes that looks good with them.  I have super flat feet and I have a horrible time finding shoes that look nice on my fred flinstone feet.  I might take Bailey on a shoe hunting trip Saturday if I am feeling better.  There is a DSW that I can hit up.  As much as I love shopping, I could really just live in flip flops all summer and not deal with shoe stores.  Finding the shoes is hard enough but I always get blisters too.  I need to get some foldable flats to keep at my desk.  I really have to be in the right mindset to take on shoes.

Much to do...