Still January

Is it just me or does it feel like January has had 231 days?  How is it not February yet? 

Not much going on.  I did the skin test for my allergies Monday.  I had a strong reaction to cats and dust mites.  Nothing new.  When they get the serum ready.  He also started me on a new nasal spray called Xhance, which makes me giggle like a little girl, or maybe more like a teenage boy.  It can't be just me?!?!

They had to order it at the pharmacy so I haven't started it yet.  I will go pick it up tonight.  The instructions look super complicated so we will see if I actually use it.  He also started me back on a decongestant and said he would call my cardiologist to see if I need to adjust my HR medication to compensate.  I took one last night and I slept like crap.

Weight down to 131.4.  I forgot to take my shot this morning and I am starving today but I know I won't be able to eat much.  Heck, even if I do I don't think it will set me back too much.  Speaking of, I forgot my lunch today because I was getting Bailey ready to go to a new day care.  I guess I will get door dash.  The only other options would be Subway, which I hate with every fiber of my being, or braving the cold and fighting traffic.  I probably need to start looking now, I always get way too overwhelmed when it comes time to order.  I will probably be out in the field the next two days too so whatever I get will have to be eaten today. 

Bailey is getting so big.  These pictures were taken exactly one month apart..

I have to take pictures when he is sleeping or it is just a giant blur on the camera.  I called his new day care to check on him and they said he was pretty nervous so they put a thunder shirt on him.  He is in a play room with a dog named Paisley.  I already like this place better.  Unfortunately it is 15 minutes away from work so I will have to change my hours if we stick with it.  Dennis and I have talked about letting him stay home for a little bit at a time, I left him out for over an hour when I went to the gym and I think he did fine.  I mean, there was not blood and the house was still standing.  He has pretty bad separation anxiety and he thinks anytime I walk out the door he gets to go with me.  He is a PITA but we love him so freaking much. 

I started taking my anti-depressant again.  I sort of went off of it on my own.  I forgot them when we went to San Francisco and just never started taking them again.  The last time I was in she cut them way down so I thought, what the hell.  Well I am starting to notice little signs like fatigue and lack of motivation so do pretty much anything.  I hope to get it back under control.  I hate this feeling.  I am using the puppy as a crutch to not leave my house.  That being said, I went to a hockey game with HMF and her little family on Sunday.  I  usually really love going but I just wanted to go home.  I kind of felt like I was being used to entertain the kid.  The game went into OT but I could have left and not cared.  That isn't really like me. 

OK, I need to get busy.

Finally Friday

I woke up this morning with an ear thing.  It feels/sounds like there is fluid trapped in my ear.  I am sure it is drainage since I have been off my allergy meds for almost 2 weeks.  I do the testing on Monday so I am almost there.  Besides, I am no supposed to take a decongestant because of my heart and that would be the drug of choice to dry that up.  I would try anything though.  So far it doesn't hurt, just aggravating.  I would say I have never been this excited to be poked repeatedly with a needle but...tattoos.

I haven't weighed.  No reason other than I just haven't.  I will have to get on the scale Monday at the doctor.  I am also thinking about going to my doctor for the extreme fatigue I've been experiencing.  When I stayed home from work on Wednesday I literally slept until 10:30 (11 hours) and took a short nap.  That isn't the norm but I feel like it is getting harder and harder to get out of bed.  Some of this may be the Saxenda but I'm not sure.  I guess it could be the sinus issues hitting me like a semi also.  I will see what the allergist says Monday before I move forward appointment at my regular doctor. 

My trainer sent me a message this morning telling me that she has two groups open up for training if I want to join.  Small group fitness is half the price of PT so I am all kinds of on board.  It is at 6:30  pm T/Th so the times are good as far as getting my animals fed and hopefully getting Dennis home to supervise Bailey.  Yes I know he can be crated.  I am going to have to cancel my therapy session for Tuesday.  I haven't been since before Christmas.  I have made several appointments and cancelled them.  I have tried to get the appointments set up on my telework days so I wouldn't have to take leave but to be honest I think it would be easier to just make one in the afternoon while Bailey is at dog care.  I will have to go on his appointment site and see what he has available.  I don't feel like going right now, which is probably why I need to go. 

I am supposed to go to a hockey game on Sunday with A and HMF.  A has taken an interest in hockey and has been doing a learn to skate class, week 1 (he skated for the first time 12/27 over Christmas break) he tested out of base level and moved to level 2, week 2 he gets promoted from base 2 to hockey level 2/3, Week 3 he is asked if he wants to be promoted to the metro team.  They practice once a week and have one game a week.  Keeping my fingers crossed he can hold it together for a group sport.  Maybe this will help him channel some of his frustrations.  He will be 9 on February 1 and I hope going to the game will get me out of going to a party with a bunch of kids, lol.  Honestly, I love hockey so I'm not complaining.  Seriously though, I need to get him something for his birthday since didn't do anything last year.  His actual birthday was the day Libby died and his party was the day Cookie passed.  It was a hard week for me...hell last year was just hard.

I am getting aggravated at Bailey's day care.  I understand they don't let unaltered dogs play with other dogs in general, but we are talking about a puppy here.  My vet doesn't want to do the snip until May, which I am going to go against and do it in March at the latest.  Anyway, some of the kennel workers will let him out to play, other won't.  I always take some toys for him to play with, kongs and other busy toys, to keep him occupied, but some times it doesn't look like they put the toys in his kennel.  That doesn't make any sense to me.  You can't tell me that they put a hoof full of peanut butter in with him and he never touched it in 8 hours? I know my boy better than that.  It doesn't help that they don't have cameras.  I know they let him out because I have seen him when I had to leave at lunch time but he was alone with the kennel attendant.  Monday I am taking him to a different place, one that we use for grooming and that most people rave about.  It isn't conveniently located like the current one but that's the price you pay.  They told me they would let him play with the other dogs because they require all of the dogs OVER 6 MONTHS to be altered so he should be fine at about 5-6 months.  Now that makes more sense.  They said that if we don't get him fixed until March they will work with that.  He really needs to play since my old dogs don't want anything to do with him.  We will see how it goes at his temperament test  on Monday. 

Lets see if I can make it through the day.  If my ear starts hurting I'm going home.

back to the gym

We did a body composition update at the gym.  My weight was down to 133 and some change, body fat still around 40%ish.  It said I needed to lose 30 pounds of fat and gain 12 pounds of muscle.  Yeah, easier said than done.  I need to go back to the doctor and find out what kind of strategy they have for maintenance with this medication. 

My motivation is nonexistent right now. Not just for fitn18ess, in every aspect of my life.  I have to force myself to work even.  Not sure what that is all about.  I have stuff to do, I just can't seem to focus.  Luckily, my appetite is also nonexistent.  

I went to the gym for the first time in 2 weeks today.  I am going to try and join in on a couple of small group training classes a couple of times a week.  It is a lot less expensive and with the lack of motivation having someone there might help.  It's worth a try.  Initially I spoke to PT about an 8 week program they have starting in February. None of the times work out.  Most meet on Monday nights and we started puppy classes on Monday.  The ones that don't meet on Monday are during the day.  They normally have a lot more choices.  I think they changed management and they cut the trainers way back on these special events.  At any rate the program is $350 but if I can't do 3 times a week it is cheaper to go the group training.  Plus, my trainer is holding one of the sessions in the middle of our scheduled time.  It might work out better if I change it to evening anyway.  There are a lot of variables working around lunch on my telework day.

So anyway, today's workout:

4 sets of...

20 leg press with 65 pounds

20 air squats

4 sets

12 dumbbell bench press with 7.5

10 trx fly

10 roman chair leg lifts.

The session was a little short since we did the inbody and talked about training.  It was fine though because I was beat after being out for awhile.

Puppy is getting so big.  He is up to 22 pounds now!! We had an unfortunate post bath zoomie accident where he sprained his little wrist.  He is on an anti-inflammatory and a little something to make him sleepy.  It's so sad, he will let out little yelps in his sleep and it just melts your heart.  He is doing a lot better today.  Crating him is a challenge because he digs at the gate with his front paws so I just drugged him up and left him while I went to the gym.  The house is still standing and I didn't see any blood so I guess it worked out ok.  We were supposed to try out a new day care today (he had to do a temperament test) but I cancelled.  I will take him back to the other place tomorrow.  This week not having him play with other dogs is probably a good thing.  We will try the new place next week.  I hate leaving that little face. 

OK, I need to finish up what I have started and get a shower.  It is hard to do anything when you have a sleeping puppy on your lap.

dad update

My dad got the results of his latest PET scan yesterday.  Cancer is still in remission but there are some "spots" on his lungs that are new but aren't cancerous.  Maybe new scar tissue?  He has to go to a pulmonologist, start back on the advair inhaler and stop his immunotherapy.  He didn't hear the oncologist say that part and almost left the office with the needle for blood work in his port.  Luckily my mom caught him in time and had him go back to the lab and have it taken out.  The did a few tests and his oxygen level does dip with activity but it recovers and goes back to normal.  As long as it isn't cancer I'm going to say it's a win.

I got the Echo dot connected yesterday and it is like living with a teenage boy.  I will be sitting reading, minding my own business when I hear a giggle and "Alexa, what's a poop deck" I swear he is an overgrown kid.  I told him I was going to turn it off if he didn't at least warn me.

Weight was down to 135 this morning!!  I have an appointment with the trainer tomorrow and I am not looking forward to it.  I HAVE to get back into the workout routine.  All I want to do is cuddle with Bailey.  I know crating isn't mean but he doesn't like it at all and it breaks my heart when he cries like that.  This might be the reason we never wanted kids.

I am really tired today.  I was overly tired all day yesterday and fell asleep in the living room kind of early.  When I woke up I got the boys to bed, Truman on my side, Bailey next to Dennis.  Apparently I kept reaching over Dennis to scratch Bai because he made me switch sides with him.  When we did that Truman got between us and slept with his head on my neck (which you would think bothers me but it honestly doesn't) and Bailey started out on my pillow but flipped and flopped until he was at the foot of the bed...twice.  I have a feeling it will be another early night.

catchy uppy

My weight was down a little this morning to 135.8.  I looked through my charts and I have lost 22.8 in a little over 4 months.  That's over 4 pounds a month.  It doesn't sound like much but for me that is huge.  I don't think I could have done it without Saxenda so I am glad it is an option.  I feel good about myself again and I am starting to not hate the way I look.  For some reason I set my goal weight as 123 in the app but really want to get under 120.  I'm not going to change it for now.  I stalled in the low 140's for a month so if my weight decides to stall out I am not going to beat myself up with the current stats.

I took this on my way up to the office.  My sister gave me this dress/shirt for Christmas so I took a picture to send to her.  These dresses aren't known for showing off a figure but, again, I don't hate it.  I need to start saving up for the tummy tuck I am going to need.

Fitness has been nonexistent.  I am getting my allergy skin test done in a couple of weeks so I am off my meds.  My throat hurts and I have that that over all blech feeling, not sick just run down felling that makes it impossible to make myself do anything physical.  I am glad I can still do my nose sprays or I wouldn't be able to breathe. 

Bailey is a knucklehead.  When I looked at dogs to foster/adopt, I always looked at 2 or older, I am way too old for all this puppyness.  Marcy is miserable, she doesn't want to play and Bailey can't understand why she doesn't want to play.  I feel bad for both of them.  I try to get Bailey outside and play with him when that happens but it has been really cold and rainy so that doesn't always happen.  He gets his second round of shots this week so I will feel better about taking him on walks at the park.  He has a day care buddy, who is also named Bailey (it's a girl so not sure of the spelling).  They played really hard on Thursday and they said he had a lot of fun.  Other Bailey is a little younger but bigger but they seem to play well together.  She is the only other puppy there so on days that she doesn't come in my boy has to play with the kennel attendants.  She is usually there on Tuesday and Thursday and as it turns out I have to switch my telework day so Friday will be the only day he won't have a puppy friend. 

Dennis made the comment last night that he is too old for a puppy, that if Bailey lives to be as old as Libby did (fingers crossed) he will be in his 70's.  I was just like. so?  He is all the time complaining that his dad never got another dog so I don't see what his point is.  Keep in mind I wasn't looking for a baby puppy when he found me but they seek out the ones who need them, so, here we are.  I'm just glad we are in a place where putting him in day care isn't a huge burden and it probably helps the older kids having a break from him.

Speaking of the other kids, Ninja was really sick yesterday but made a miraculous recovery just in time for dinner 😽 I was worried that Bailey might have hurt him but I think he ate a bug or something that didn't want to be eaten.

My boys

Every now and again there is peace in the house...and dirty muddy floors.

I had a little setback on Friday and called in to work.  A retired co-worker passed away earlier in the week.  He was a part of the lunch group I used to hang out in.  Even when he retired, him and his wife would meet us at least once a month for pizza buffet.  I felt like I should go to the services but I was having major anxiety over who would be there.  Dennis had met him and his wife but I knew that TR would be there and it's a little too soon for them to be in the same room together.  So Dennis watched the puppy and I sucked it up and went to the funeral.  I went a little late thinking I could sneak in the back but wouldn't you know it, I wasn't the only one.  I ended up sitting by a guy I used to work with that is really good friends with my friend who moved to Canada.  It wasn't bad.  Rupe and his wife sat a few rows in front of us.  I wonder if I will ever be able to function like a normal adult in these types of situations?  But I guess what's normal?  There were a lot of people there and the service itself was nice, a little preachy for my liking but it wasn't my funeral.

I also had an incident last week where a lady that I don't know very well went off on a crazy rant for a good 20 minutes about global economy reset, how evil Obama is, how Trump is going to save the world, oh, and something about Oral Roberts and human sacrifice.  At first I kind of tried to brush her off saying that I disagree but I didn't feel like work was the place to discuss it but the crazier she got, the more concerned I got for her, and a little, my safety.  Did I mention that ORU owns the building we work in?  She works in my old department so I ended up talking to her supervisor and telling him (which happens to be the guy I sat next to at the services on Saturday) that he needs to keep an eye on her because she isn't thinking rationally.  At the end of the original  conversation I was  more of less nodding my head just to get away from her and not engage, well as I was walking out of her supervisor's office she comes up to me and tells me she wants to talk to me to see what information I have on OR.  I just smiled a little OMG don't talk to me smile and kept walking.  I always seem to attract the crazies. That might have played into the Friday anxiety too.

I am a little too excited for lunch today.  I hate microwaved food so I bought an air fryer and put it on my desk.  We tried some simple burgers in it last night and it seemed to work ok.  I have a small toaster oven now but it never seemed to cook or reheat evenly.  I am anxious to see how it works out.  I brought in some Parmesan chicken cutlets from Target to make...fingers crossed. 

First days are hard

I had to leave this little face at day care today.  He was shaking uncontrollably. I boohooed like I was leaving him forever.  I called and there aren't any other puppies for him to play with but they have taken him out and let him play and they say he is doing ok.  I took his crate toys and one of my t-shirts.  I'm only working half a day so he can transition.

On my home Monday my car started to do that weird thing that I hadn't been able to describe.  On the way home it kind of hit me that it feels like the emergency brake is engaged.  It wasn't and it wasn't like it was entirely engaged but it had that draggy feeling and it didn't want to move in reverse.  I got it home and Dennis finally witnessed what it was doing.  I have roadside assistance so I would like to have it towed to the repair shop but not sure how that works.  I will look into it when I get home.  For now I have the Mercury grandpa car, which is kind of a badass car.  I can see me getting a ticket in that bad boy.  Luckily I finally cancelled my Sirius subscription on my car just in time.

I decided to do the weight loss challenge at work.  It's 8 weeks and I think the winner get an hour off.  Last year when we did this I was at 169 pounds, today, after downing 2 bottles of water I was at 138.  Since I am at 136 first thing in the morning in my nightshirt that sounds about right.  It is an awesome feeling not having to put the bar on the 150 mark.  Ya know, I should have weighed with my boot on.

WOW

I had like 4 people ask me if I had lost weight yesterday.  So I step on the scale this morning and much to my surprise I see 136!!  On my tracking app it shows this time last year I was at 165.4.  I know it got higher, close to 170, but I didn't record it.  I don't think that weight will stick around, I think it is a low bounce but I'll take it.

back to work

Back to work, pretty much against my will.  I am not one of those people who say I could never retire, heck, I could have called in and told them I would never be back if I could have paid my bills.

I put Bailey in the crate this morning and hooked up the live feed camera.  That was probably a mistake because I am near tears as I watch him howl and cry.  After almost 2 hours it looks like he has finally gone to sleep.  Dennis is off work today but had some stuff he needed to do this morning.  He is going to go by the house and get him all worked up again.  I will go by and get him signed up for day boarding (not like day care because he can't go around the other puppies until he has another round of shots) where they can let him out to go potty.  Seriously, I'm not going to get any work done today for watching the Bailey Cam.

I had my fitness resolve all ready before this little knucklehead came in and rocked my world.  My plan is to start going to the trainer 2 days a week starting next week.  I will do Tuesday at lunch on my telework days and probably Thursday after Dennis gets off work.  I need to look through the schedule and find a few classes to take, but I am really having a hard time with the idea of leaving the puppy locked up all day just to get home, let him out, and lock him back up.  It might be easier once we start day care.

I took A to the movies Saturday.  It was the first time I had spent time with him alone in probably 6 months.  He has been having some serious issues and they changed his medication around.  He did really well at the movie,  we will see how it goes once he gets back into school.  That kid can't catch a break.

My weight continues to trend downward.  I forgot to weigh this morning until after I was dressed and it showed 138 exactly.  I'll take that.  I might not be going to the gym, but I am outside playing with the puppy a lot.  I have also noticed for the last few days that I have forgotten to eat until almost 4.  I know that sounds crazy to me too.  I am sure some of that was anxiety over coming back to work.  Not really sure why, my job is fine but I could seriously turn into a recluse pretty easy.

No post is complete without pictures of my sweet darling little boy.

OK. I'm off to research deeds.  Try not to be too jealous.

OK, back to blogger

It seems wordpress is a little too glitchy for my liking so I am going to use this blog again.  I changed the privacy setting to public until I can figure out what the heck to do with it all.  I'm pretty sure I don't want to leave it that way.

Should have gone back to work today but I decided to stay home one more day with the puppy.  He can't go to daycare until he has his second round of shots week after next.  We are working on house training but it has been a little bit of a struggle with the weather, he wasn't a fan of the torrential downpours in the freezing weather.  Not sure if that was part of the problem or not but he went potty 3 times before 10 this morning.  That won't work in a crate.  So, my vet friend said to bring him into the clinic she works for and they will put him in daycare but won't let him socialize with the other puppies.  They will have the lodge staff play with him and wear him out.  I am going to try that on Wednesday.  Speaking of, he is suspiciously quiet....

Ok I'm back, he found a nylebone in the bedroom.

So obviously I haven't done a heck of a lot as it would require me leaving the baby.  And here I was committing to fitness again 😆.  Adopting a senior pet is so much easier but when they find you what are ya going to do?

Weight this morning was 138.6.  I need to pick up my prescription tomorrow for my next pen.  I have a few doses left but I don't want to wait until I am out as I have had problems getting it filled before.  I wonder how long it will take for my insurance to deny me?

OK, it's too quiet again.