Catch up

Not sure where to start since I haven’t checked in for a minute.  Things have been pretty busy and just keeping up with life seems like too much somedays. 

I got the splints/retainer for the TMJ a few weeks ago.  It really helped almost immediately. I have one for the day and one for night.  Both are hard plastic.  The daytime one goes on my bottom teeth and I feel like I am having to learn how to speak again, lol.  I’m not sure where to put my tongue.  It is getting a little easier but I still have problems with enunciation.  I know it will take awhile.  The top on is even thicker and has a little ledge, like beaver teeth, that forces my lower teeth in front of my top teeth.  It causes me to have the strangest dreams.  As a matter of fact, the first week I had it I must have taken it out in the middle of the night and yeeted it because I already lost it after a few days.  No clue what I might have done with it.  It’s not out of the realm of possibility that I tossed it out the door.  I had to go in and have the daytime one adjusted and ordered another one.  It was an expensive lesson.  I need to figure out a way to tether this one to me in some way.  Last night I dreamt that I had a thick film stuck to the back of my upper teeth that I couldn’t scrape off.  I woke up to it not in my mouth but it was on my pillow.  If I lose this one, I will not pay another $1K for another one.  But, the first morning after wearing them, I went to brush my teeth and realized, after being able to open my mouth without my jaw catching or with a sudden pain, that maybe I had been struggling with it more than I thought.  I have been able to eat like a normal person for the first time in a very long time.  Being able to just eat without thinking about it feels weirdly luxurious. I’m still a little nervous about anything like hard pretzels or taffy, but at least mashed potatoes are no longer one of my primary food groups.

Backtracking a little, me and my sister Barbie went to a regional performance of Oklahoma as a part of the route 66 centennial stuff.  It ran every weekend for a month and we were lucky to get tickets.  The show was very good and I learned that my sister had never seen the show before either on stage or tv.  I told her that as local and musical theater geek we were going to have to revoke her card.  They had an optional bbq dinner before the show with a cabaret of some of the cast.  Luckily the food was pulled chicken and mashed potatoes so I was able to eat a little.  We had a lot of fun.

The next day was my mom’s 80th birthday and met for lunch with both of my sisters, my BIL, and Dennis brought his mom.  It went a lot better than I thought it would and I think everyone had a good time.  My mom was surprised to see Barbie and Scott since they are normally at the lake on weekends without fail.

The first weekend with the retainer, I met HMF for lunch and a movie before she made the transition to living primarily in Waco.  It helps to have friends that teach speech pathology, she tried to help me figure out how to talk a little plainer.  We saw the proshot of Six and it was pretty good, not nearly as good as Hadestown.  It is much better live, but it was still good and we had a blast.  After I met my sister Laura and Heather at a vintage market that they hold every month.  I got made fun of mercilessly, so I mostly just stood around.  It was fine but it was so hot and crowded I mostly just wanted to get under the ac.

I had a routine doctor’s appointment to approve my add medicine.  I was up to 90 pounds and he seemed to think I looked healthier than I had in a while.  He said he didn’t notice my Cindy Brady level lisp, but I mean, I doubt he pays that much attention either.  Nothing of note, just come back in 3 months.  

Dennis is on my last nerve.  He went through the orientation for the vo-tech substitute job late last week.  They called him twice but they required a pin to accept the call and he can’t get it to work so he is ready to just throw his hands up.  He tried to get sympathy because there were so many systems with different passwords…um, yeah.  I filled out all the paperwork and forms for him and I’m not sure he even really wants to work.  If he doesn’t, that’s fine but stop pretending like you do and letting me waste my time.  When I got home from work on Friday I offered to help him get signed in and he said not to worry about it but when they called today and he couldn’t get it he was all riled up again.  I told him that if he doesn’t call them or go by and have them help him get logged in I don’t want to hear another word about work, jobs, technology, NONE OF IT.  When I complain about my job I get the ‘at least you have a good job’ crap and I really want to just scream.  I know there are some underlying factors at play but it doesn’t help me in the moment and when he isn’t trying to help or fix it, I’m done.  My patience has done run out. 

The workouts are staying consistent.  I have been at least once a week since I started going to the old person gym.  Still not sure how I feel about it.  The fact that it is only 30 minutes is a bonus.  They also are fine with you staying in street clothes so that cuts time too.  But also, it’s only 30 minutes, is it really helping?  The computerized machines have a sensor so it adjusts the weights automatically but the few things that are stand alone seems like they are not setting me at a challenging zone.  They don’t count reps, they set a timer for a minute and a half.  The one thing that it has going for it is it does require constant muscle engagement during the entire set.  By the time I am finished with leg press I can tell I have done something.  I’m not sure how much longer I am going to stick with it before I go back to the Y.  Now that school has started the wild banshee kids shouldn’t be a problem. 

Let’s see, what else.  I got my hair cut and decided to do something a little different.  Still playing around with it to figure out how to style it.

My show was in OKC this last week and I swore I wasn’t going to spend the money to go see it for the 10th time, especially since I am going in a few weeks in Denver.  However, I glanced at the box office site to see if they had a lottery because I thought it wouldn’t hurt to try and see if I get pulled for a cheap ticket.  They didn’t have a lottery but for some reason they didn’t release the pit tickets until the week of the show.  So what did I do over the weekend?  I took Heather to see the Outsiders since I got front row seats. know seeing the same show ten times sounds completely ridiculous, and I don’t really have a good explanation for it. There is just something about this show that makes me happy on an almost cellular level. The first time I saw the tour in Tulsa is probably something I will never be able to duplicate. It was the tour kickoff, S.E. Hinton was there, I got the book, and the whole experience was just one of those perfect little moments. I think maybe I’ve been chasing that feeling ever since. I know I’m never going to recreate it, but apparently that hasn’t stopped me from trying.   I have sat  front row several times but I think the stage setback was a lot closer this time because I am still finding fake gravel.  At one point the I am almost sure the guy that plays Two-Bit intentionally kicked wet gravel right at us.  We were covered.  It’s about a 2 hour drive back to my house but when I took my clothes off that night there was wet gravel stuck to my stomach under my waistband.  When I got in my car yesterday morning it was all over my car seats.  Heather said she found some in her bed this morning.  It was pretty awesome.  I thought about getting season tickets for their season so I could have a better chance at pit tickets, I would have been pissed if didn’t give season ticket holders an advantage.

So I guess that’s about it. I feel like I have been running around constantly while simultaneously accomplishing absolutely nothing. But I can eat again, I’m still making it to the old person gym, my mom turned 80 and apparently getting wet fake gravel kicked into my underwear is enough to make me ridiculously happy.

Normal stress

We had a temporary break from the terrible heat last weekend, but it was very short-lived. It only got a touch over 90 for three whole days. We are apparently making up for it now because it feels hotter than ever, with no end in sight for the foreseeable future. This is the time of year that makes me cranky. Come on, fall!

It is strange seeing kids going back to school while it is still stifling outside, but I guess it has always been this way and I am just too old to remember.

Surprisingly, my mom did not want to do anything last weekend. I told her my jaw was actually feeling better and I was able to eat, but she said she had not slept well and thought she might have a kidney infection. I ran to the market where I pick up my meals and called her again to check on her since it is about halfway to her house, but she was still being dismissive.

I went home, put up my food, and continued with my weekend errands. I had picked up a watermelon from my dealer and needed new airtight containers to store it in after I cut it up, so I stopped at Dollar Tree and some home-store closeout place I had never been to. Both stores were overstimulating, and Olive was extra cuddly, so the rest of the day was spent on the couch with my sweet baby angel

Took some time to play in the water with my sweet boy

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I had four glorious days without pain or catching in my jaw, and I took full advantage of them. It all came to an end on Monday when I got a call from my mom around noon telling me my cousin was taking her to urgent care for the suspected kidney infection. The doctor there said he saw something that looked “suspicious” and was calling an ambulance to transport her to the ER.

I obviously freaked the fuck out and left work immediately. I actually beat her to the hospital. She told me on the phone that she was not sure why he was sending her, or why he felt it was necessary for her to go by ambulance, because she did not feel any worse than she would have expected to feel with what she was being seen for.

 

I had already told Brooke earlier that day that my anxiety was in overdrive for no particular reason, enough that I took a Valium. This did not help matters at all.

My younger sister and I met in the hospital lobby before they got Mom processed. We went up to ask the security guard whether she had been admitted yet and saw her stumbling out of the back into the waiting room. We ran over, and she said they had told her to wait out there. They did not even get her a wheelchair, which she would have needed on the best of days. They would come get her for various tests and then send her back out to wait.

Finally, around 6:00, they called her back to a room. When the doctor came in, he seemed confused about why the urgent care doctor had sent her there. They gave her a round of IV antibiotics and discharged her. The whole thing was just weird.  She seems to be doing okay now, but she is still convinced the urgent care doctor tried to kill her with inconvenience.

We left a little before 7:00, which is record time for that ER. However, it was also kind of an exercise in futility. At her age, I would rather a doctor overreact than underreact, so I am not complaining, even if my mom now swears she is never going back to that urgent care.

For some odd reason, the whole episode kicked off another flare-up with my jaw, and eating is now back to being a series of pain, clicking, and catching. Ugh.

I have also started feeling apprehensive about the splint the dentist is having made. At the time, I was pretty desperate for relief. I still am, and I was willing to pay whatever it took. Now that I have had some time and space to think about it, I am second-guessing myself. I am putting a lot of faith and money into this, and there is still a chance it will not work.

He told me it would take two to three weeks to come in, although there is a chance they could have it ready in as little as 10 days. I have never had to wear anything like that during the day, and the thought of having it in constantly makes me incredibly anxious. I am also sure eating with it is going to be another whole thing to figure out, which is especially fun considering eating is already complicated enough.

I had to cancel my gym appointment Monday because of everything with Mom. To be honest, it feels like lying to call it a gym. They did not answer, so I left a message. I tried calling again the next day and got the same message, and the same thing happened the day after that. I finally broke down and stopped there on my way home from work.

The number in my recent calls had them listed with a prohibited symbol beside it. When I called them while I was standing there, the call went through and the symbol disappeared. I tried texting, and that still did not work. Their app is not working either, so I was about this close to canceling. I am not paying all that money and then not being able to get a workout in.

The receptionist gave me her personal number and told me to text her if I had any issues. I mean, that was sweet, but I should not have to do that. I am still not sure how I feel about the place. Do not get me wrong, the last couple of reps are a struggle, but the workout is so short that it does not feel like it could possibly do anything. I am treating it more like physical therapy until I can build enough strength and stamina to go to a real gym.

The biggest work drama for me was my keyboard biting the dust in the middle of typing an email. It is funny how many times I turned it off and back on, changed the batteries, and beat it against my desk before I finally accepted that it was dead. It is not like we do not have new keyboards available, either.

I broke down and picked out one that can connect through Bluetooth, even though Bluetooth is pretty worthless because it is blocked on all our work equipment. I do have one tablet that is not on the network that we use as a “gap,” so I am hoping I can pair it with that.

Regardless, I got it set up and started typing. There was a little bit of a learning curve because it is different from my old one. Apparently, I had gotten used to slamming on the keys because I realized I can barely touch the new ones. That is annoying sometimes.

One difference I did not notice right away was that the new keyboard did not appear to have a Windows key. I use the snipping tool constantly, so I had a little tantrum, boxed it up, and took it back to where I got it. The analyst who sits near that area asked what was wrong with it, and we sat there trying to figure it out because if it did not work, it was basically trash.

I ended up taking it back to my desk. I had used ChatGPT to help me troubleshoot it the first time, but it neglected to tell me the keyboard has both PC and Mac modes, and it was set to Mac mode. Problem solved, but man, what a disruption that was.

This weekend is going to be busy. Tomorrow, my older sister and I are going to see a regional production of “Oklahoma!” with barbecue and a cabaret performance before the show. We bought the tickets late, so I am not sure how good the seats will be. It was nearly sold out, and I did not have much to choose from.

Saturday is my mom’s 80th birthday, and planning it has been a headache. I originally planned on taking everyone to one of the really nice steakhouses, but then people started telling me who else I needed to invite. I am more than happy to plan a nice dinner, but once the guest list started creeping toward a dozen people, I decided we were going to Texas Roadhouse. I know that is really bad of me.

I also got a text from Heather saying Mom has been hinting that she wants a massage. I told her that would have been nice information to have before I bought her a laptop. This is why I hate being the one who plans this crap.

Sunday should be pretty relaxed. I am finally getting my nails done after six weeks. My nail friend went on vacation for her birthday, and I was supposed to go the day before she left. I knew I was her last client and that she had packed a bunch of people into her schedule, so I told her to cancel my appointment.

She was very grateful and told me she would call me the day she got back to work. That did not happen, but no big deal. She finally reached out, so here is hoping she has something awesome in mind.