I went to the band doctor yesterday, my monthy check up and fill. The doctor told me he wouldn't give me a fill. I asked him for just a little top off and he said nope, I don't need it. I went after lunch so my weight was up a couple of pounds from what it was that morning, but I was still down 5 pounds. He told me I was his ideal patient and said he wished everyone was as motivated as I was. He told me that there was a younger girl that was in before me that had only lost 4 pounds in 3 months and he really wished he would have had her stick around so I could talk to her. I really don't understand going through the pain and expensive of the surgery if you aren't going to use it, but whatever.
He literally paraded me around his office showing me off, telling everyone I was his star patient and that I was going to run a half marathon in March. I told him I would be his spokes "model" if he would give me a free tummy tuck, even pose in a bikini. He laughed and said he would totally work out a deal for me, couldn't do it for free because of the facility fees and stuff but he would make me a hell of a deal. We are supposed to talk about it more when I go back in January.
So after I left the doctor I started thinking that I still feel fat, I know I am not 180 pounds anymore but I haven't had that aha moment where I feel healthy and good about myself. So on the way home from the doctor I stopped and ordered cheese sticks and a root beer from Sonic. I ate maybe 2 and a half of the cheese sticks, didn't drink much of the soda (it hurts to drink most times). Not even 3 hours later Dennis wanted to go to dinner so I ate 3/4 of a burritto. I felt horrible.
When I woke up this morning I thought I deserve whatever the scale gives me this morning and I will take whatever it says and move on.
140.8 - a 1.8 pound loss. That I didn't deserve. Go figure.
Fantastic visit at your Doc! I don't know when the fat suit comes off...as I haven't lost mine yet even 85 lbs later. I know it won't last forever. Congrats on the loss and perhaps consider working on the "I didn't deserve it" thinking. You aren't any less deserving because you had cheese sticks and a burrito. You are worth this effort.
ReplyDeleteTerrie, you have done awesome. Your head just needs to catch up to your body! Give yourself credit!
ReplyDeleteWow!! Good job on all you've accomplished!! You've done such a great job getting the weight off. A treat here or there can't feel that bad specially having a morning like the one you had! Congrats!!
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