history report

I really don’t have a lot going on right now so I thought I would share some random fact about myself that I am sure you were just dying to know.  Feel free to hum “getting to know you” to yourself as you read.

I am the middle child with two sisters.  If middle child syndrome is supposed to mean you feel invisible most of your life then I had it.  My parents are still together and will celebrate their 50^th anniversary in a few years.  They all drive me crazy but that is what family is for.  My little sister and I call my dad a manorexic.  He gets on diet kicks and loses so much that he looks sick.  The last time he did this he actually passed out while he was walking down the hall.  He was told he had diabetes a few years back but obviously he has it controlled by his diet.  He is pretty healthy overall.  My mom is obese and in denial.  She thinks she can wear clothes a lot smaller then she really can.  She too was diagnosed with diabetes but thinks that taking a pill means she can eat whatever she wants.  She was diagnosed with colon cancer last summer and had 6 months of chemo.  My biggest fear is that I will turn into my mom.  She is such a negative person, it makes me sad and I just don’t want to be that person.  Nothing ever makes her happy.

My little sister and I get along ok.  She is 4 years younger than me and was a model when she was younger.  That’s always a fun thing to grow up with.  Growing up she had really bad emotional problems.  I don’t remember what that steamed from but I will get to that later. 

My older sister is crazy.  Most of my memories of her from growing up were of her being drunk or on drugs and my mom being worried sick.  She kind of likes to pretend that none of us exist unless she wants us for something, and that is rare.  She is embarrassed by our parents and rarely has any contact with them.  She came to the hospital once when my mom was in the hospital having cancer surgery and never came and helped while she was getting chemo. 

I don’t remember a lot about my childhood.  I have a few significant things that stick out, like when my uncle was attacked by his ex-wife and almost killed, she slit his throat.  I remember sleeping with the covers over my head because I was afraid she would come and cut my throat in my sleep.  I might have been 5 at the time.  I took dance lessons until I was a teenager but I don’t remember anyone from my dance classes.  I have had people come up to my mom and me at a store and remember us from dance and I don’t have a clue who they are.  I don’t have many memories of school either.  I didn’t really have friends at school; I just kind of hid out at lunch.  I don’t think I was unpopular or anything, I just never felt like I belonged.  I spent a lot of time with my maternal grandmother and most of my memories growing up revolve around her.  I was her shadow.  She was almost 6 feet tall with red hair and I wanted to be just like her when I grew up.  She remains one of the strongest people I have ever met.  She battled Lupus and Scleroderma for the last ten years of her life.  I spent most of my weekends with her because I knew she would not be around long and I wanted to be with her as much as I possibly could.  OK, I am going to cry, she died when I was 16, next subject. 

I think that my eating issues were my way of dealing with loneliness and sadness from all of the things above combined.

I can honestly say that college was amazing for me.  I loved it.  I finally had friends for the first time in my life.  I had so much fun and enjoyed the freedom of being “on my own”.  I was one of the geeks that lived in the dorms until I graduated.  There was a 21 and over coed dorm and we had so much fun.  I still keep in touch with most of the people that lived in Haskell Hall.

I got a job working for the Corps of Engineers and started working for them two days after college graduation.  I was a park ranger for 6 years.  This is how I met Dennis.  He was working as a highway patrol officer at the time.  We met in a park called Afton Landing, some crazy lady was throwing everything out of her camping trailer into a camp fire. 

My dogs are my kids.  I was never really a dog person at all.  We had dogs growing up but they weren’t mine and I was never the kind of kid that asked for a puppy for Christmas.  Hunter changed my life when I found him running around a park when I was a ranger.  Because of him I am a much more compassionate person.  

OK, I guess that is enough for now.  For someone who didn’t have anything to say I sure as heck filled up a page!!