new shoes and adventures of the passive aggresive mother

I got tired of sitting around my house last night and decided I couldn’t wait until Thursday to get new running shoes. So, Dennis went to a geek meeting and I went shoe shopping!!




I ended up with a pair of Mizuno Wave Alchemy 12 running shoes. They are some serious motion control shoes but still pretty light. The guy at the store had me try on a few different types and run around the block (which was interesting with my ear infection and resulting vertigo). I fell in love with a pair of Brooks that were red silver and blue so I figured they wouldn’t be the best fit. They weren’t. I probably won’t run in them until Saturday but at least I feel prepared.



They also had two XS running skirt capri skirts half off. One was black plaid; the other was baby blue plaid. They were both so freaking cute and I couldn’t decide which one I liked more, so I bought them both. Top that off with a new pair of running socks and my overtime check is spent before I got it.



I am, however, very ready to try everything out and get to running!! Cooler weather coming our way by the end of the week.



My ear is still effed up. Everything is super muffled and I am still kind of dizzy. I called the ENT this morning and they set me up an appointment for Monday. I figure if it is better I can cancel but if it still not better by Monday than I need to see the specialist.



OK so here is where you want to stop reading unless you want to read my worse daughter of the year award nomination essay. I should be so ashamed of myself since my mom is going through chemo and all but I seriously think she uses it as an excuse to make more drama.



I got a text message from my cousin Heather(who is staying with my parents) saying that my dad is being really mean to my mom and that someone needs to talk to him about it. Apparently my mom told Heather that he’s mad at her because she is sick and is just taking everything out on her.



Well, like Dr. Phil says, a pancake is flat but it still has two sides. I told Heather that my mom does bring a lot of this stuff on herself because she expects my dad to read her mind; for example a past conversation went something like this



Mom: well your dad just fixed himself something to eat and didn't fix me anything

Me: did you tell him you were hungry?

Mom: no

Me: well maybe you should tell him and he can give you what he fixed and make another one for himself

Mom: I don’t want a grilled cheese.



another one

Me: do you need anything?

Mom: no your dad went to McDonald's and got me a fish sandwich

Me: good, you need to tell him if you are hungry and what you want him to fix or go get you

Mom: well it wasn't any good, the bun was gross



Also, before she even started chemo I took her out and we got massages and pedicures and lunch and stuff. I asked her to meet me halfway because we live about 35 minutes apart. She said that she doesn’t drive (which was a new development) and that she would have to see where dad would drop her off. I asked her why in the hell she stopped driving and she said that dad could take her where she wants to go (but complains when he won’t go to the places she wants to go). None of it makes sense to me. I did tell her that I love Dennis to death but I would kill him if I had to rely on him for EVERYTHING. She just kind of smirked like she was happy to have a personal chauffeur.



I sent Heather a message back and told her that mom brings a lot of it on herself, for example, my mom is diabetic but she wants someone to take her to Sonic every night for half price shakes. My dad tells her no and someone needs to since she can’t seem to develop any self control. She has gained 10 pounds since she had her surgery.



Heather also told me that dad won’t let mom sleep when I know that in reality my dad won’t let my mom sleep until noon. But of course my mom will spin this to make it sound worse than it is.



I finally just told my cousin, look, they have been married for almost 50 years and they treat each other the way the other one allows them and has allowed them to for years. You aren’t going to change that dynamic now.



I do feel bad for my mom. I know she is having some mood swings because of the chemo and feeling sorry for herself. I would love to take her out and do something but if you listen to her, they live below poverty level with barely enough money to pay for her $45 every three week treatments. However, they have a huge RV in the driveway, a giant flat screen LCD television and an inground pool.



Last year my dad was having problems with his teeth. My little sister and I were going to pay for the dentist to do whatever it took to make it better. The day we met them to tell them what our plan was they announced they were going on a two week trip to the Tetons.



It gets really old inviting my mom out to go to a movie and her response is “we can’t afford it”. I have just stopped asking her to do things and when she asks about it later telling her that I didn’t think she would have the money anyway.



Yes I am a horrible daughter, but there is only so much melodramatic passive aggressive bs I can take.



Since I wrote this I will probably take my mom out after my overtime assignment wraps up.

I do feel better though.