I fully believe that as an obese person I had an eating disorder, I still do and will struggle with that the rest of my life. My favorite quote "If you have ever been fat you will either be fat for the rest of your life or worry about getting fat again for the rest of your life."
I still make poor choices at times and have times when I overeat, and always will.
I have noticed that I am obsessed more then ever with the number on the scale.
I have reached my goal. I am happy with my weight and my size. Not so happy with my shape but I am the only one who can fix that (of course Dr. Akins could help, but still). Yet I still find myself stepping on the scale every morning and holding my breath in the hopes of seeing a new all time low number. My scale malfunctioned a few weeks ago and I saw 107 on the scale. I knew it wasn't correct yet my heart did a flip flop from joy. Granted this would put my BMI right on the cusp of underweight.
Maybe I have reached the point when my scale addiction is getting a little dangerous. I am taking a break from the scale. My clothes fit great if not a little loose. My jewelry fits. That is going to be my gage for the rest of the month.
I am holding steady so I don't want to have fluid removed from my band. This is totally an issue I am going to have to work through mentally.
Great post... Honest. We all know this will be our cross to bear.
ReplyDeleteI think it might be a good idea to take a step back from the scale (I can't believe I just said that... being the scale whore that I am). It is good that you recognize that. You look amazing. Hopefully your brain will catch up. ;)
ReplyDeleteI am with you on the scale thing. I have been sick the past days and seeing the numbers go down gives me a weird sort of pleasure (even knowing that it was from being ill!) It's like with running...I feel like if I stop I'll lose all ability. If I stop getting on the scale I'll magically gain it all back. Crazy!
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