TTT - It is Thursday? - and more pictures

For some reason my days have been all screwy this week.  I am pretty sure it is Thursday though so I am going to try to come up with ten random thoughts to bore you with....and some of the pictures I posted to the photo album, the more tame ones that is ;-)

1.  My desk at work pretty much reflects how things are going at work.  I have about 5 huge files strung out all over the place and just when I think I will be able to finalize something, they hit me with something.

2.  One of my team members got a promotion so I will have even more crap to do.  I hope they replace him with someone of equal pay grade so I can assign them some of the more involved actions.  If not I will be stuck with it all.  I'm already working overtime every Saturday.

3.  Yup I have to work this Saturday.  But I am working from home so it could be worse.  And it is just tedious stuff so I can catch up on season 6 of Dexter while I am working.  It will keep me from shopping and spending money.

4.  With my first "big" OT check (I am topped out at my OT rate so I pretty much just make the same on OT as I do if you break my salary down hourly) I am going to buy new running shoes.  I really wanted to go take some for a test drive yesterday, but I knew I would go ahead and buy some so I didn't.

5.  I took off work early yesterday and spent the afternoon with my mom while she was getting her chemo.  It was an interesting place.  Most people are so positive you can't help wanting to fight for/with them.  Others come in, get in the chair with a blanket and go right to sleep.  I brought my Kindle Fire and my mom took it away from me.  I downloaded a game she likes and she played it the 4 hours I was there.  I pretty much interacted with the other patients and read my book on my iPhone.  My dad was there but he gets really bad anxiety in places like that so he can't sit there for more than 5 minutes at a time or so.

6.  My allergies are kicking my butt.  I am on a z-pack for a sinus infection but I can't seem to get my ear to clear out.  It feels like I have water in it.  If it isn't better next week I will call the ENT.  I am not supposed to take decongestants because I have something called Inappropriate Sinus Tachycardia, which makes my heart rate about 50 beats per minute faster than it should be.  My resting heart rate is over 100 and when I run it gets well over 200.  Decongestants make it worse. 

7.  I really want a fill.  I feel like I have no restriction at all even though I have been in the "green" zone for several months.  I kind of feel like I have just learned to eat around the band.  I am still at 114, still wear a size 2 so this might not be the most rational of thoughts, but rational thoughts didn't make me fat in the first place.  I really wish I could talk my doctor into giving me just a small fill.  Maybe I can find a back alley black market band doctor would be willing to give me just a little fluid.  Of course I am just joking, kinda.

8.  Really wish I had some kind of plans this weekend, but I got nothing.

9  Then again, Dennis wants to go on a cruise before the first of the year.  With my mom undergoing chemo I don't feel right having her watch my two senior babies, a 13 year old terrier and my 12 year old lab mix.  They are great dogs and aren't a bit of trouble (if I do say so myself) but her two are monsters and pick on my boys relentlessly.  My other dogs would have to go to boarding and it breaks my heart.  I would rather just stay home then lock them up.  Having someone come to my house isn't an option because I have a dog that is schizophrenic and   I am afraid he would bite someone.

10.  Wow I can't believe I made it this far.  I thought I had nothing to say.  I leave you with pictures.  I apologize if they are a little too risky for you, these are the tamer ones.  Yes, I do have my clothes on in all of them, sorta.

Monday again

This working weekends crap is pushind me over the freaking edge!!

I finally got the disc with all of my pictures on it.  I put them in an online album that you can see here.
[IMG]http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b384/tdbhall/Broomhall33.jpg[/IMG]
I didn't feel that all of them were appropriate to post on here.  Let me know what you think of them.

Nothing else going on.  Dennis has the MRI of his brain done today, mom has chemo on Wed. I will probably take off work early and spend some time with my mom at the cancer center. 

Weight is holding steady in the 114's  I can handle that since I really don't watch what I eat.  I just let the band tell me when I am full and stop eating.  There are things I still can't eat....rice, lots of bread, mostly the normal stuff you can't eat with lap band.  I don't push it too much.

Hope everyone had a great weekend.

BTW the password for the pictures is JULY2012

hump day

So I guess once I hit my goal weight I felt like I was free to eat with reckless abondon again. This is so not going to work. Yesterday's food pretty much looks like this



breakfast - protein shake

snack - white chocolate peanut butter and a cookie

lunch - chinese sweet and sour chicken, kong fu (spicy) chicken, and sesame chicken, at least I didn't eat the rice

snack - half a bottle of white chocolate peanut butter

I'm home and bored snack - 4 oreos

it's hear and Dennis is late getting home from work snack - left over queso and chips from Bueno, I wasn't even hungry

Dinner - Salad from Carrabba's because it would go bad if I didn't eat it soon, even though I felt sick from my food overload

I don't even want to guess how many calories that is. Enough to scare me away from the scale today. I know it is probably the stress from working umpteen thousand hours, having a very needy mom on chemo and a boyfriend of 13 years who probably had a stroke last week. Food is not going to help and I know there is a better way to deal with the stress, I just don't want to. I did put the peanut butter at a friends desk so I won't be so tempted by it.

I feel fat and gross today.

To top it all off I woke up with my left eye almost swollen shut. Normally I would call in and tell my boss I would be late and put ice on it until it kind of went down, but that isn't an option right now with all the overtime I am working. So I look like a cyclopse. I really don't even care. Most people don't look at you close enough to even "see" you. I stopped on my way in to the office to pick up eye drops and I couldn't get them to come out, had to stick a safety pin down in the hole to get them to come out. So much for sterile. I took a benedryl this morning so I may come to with the outline of my computer keyboard on my forehead. If this happens you know I will take pictures.

Dennis had his doctor appointment this morning. He scheduled him for some more tests. He told him he thinks it was probably the TIA but it could have been a panic attack. I don't agree with the panic attack since it started at 10 am and lasted most of the day. We will both feel better once we get some answers.

Another blessing I have from all the stress, my face is broken out like a 13 year old boys. I go see my favorite esthetician and the dermatologist office tomorrow. His name is Gabe Horn and that alone makes me giggle (say it really fast) I like going to this place because it isn't a medical spa, it is a plastic surgeon, a dermatologist and the esthetician in one office. It isn't like most med spas where you never see the doctor, if Gabe thinks I need antibiotics the doctor will come in and look at me.

And again, I sound like a negative nancy. I am really not. Just stressed and tired. When this crap is all over I really need a girls trip.

One day at a time

My weight was back down to 114 this morning, thank goodness.  I really like the 112 region better but anything under 115 is good. 

I am trying to "be good"  I made a protein shake for breakfast with nectar peach protein powder and diet V8 Splash Berry juice, with just a little bit of frozen daiquiri mix thrown in.  I just can't stand the smell of protein shakes, they all have that same smell.  It actually tastes pretty good if I remember not to breathe while I am taking a drink ;)

The weather is starting to cool off, yesterday was barely in the 90's and today is going to be in the low 90's.  It is supposed to be in the high 80's the rest of the week.  I know it is cool enough that I need to be hitting the pavement and getting some running in, but I am just so tired when I get off work.  Working 6 days a week sucks.

Still don't have the disc with my pictures.  I am going to email the photographer and see what the deal is.  I suspect she forgot to stick it in the mail.  Once I get them I will post a few more.  I am afraid some of them might get me reported, lol.  I will put the rest of them on an offsite photo album and give y'all the password if you are interested in looking at them.  The photographer told me that she has taken pictures at GNO parties.  Wouldn't it be neat if I could pack her up and take her to Chicago next year!!

I am eating crap.  I know I need to stop it.  Yesterday at lunch I wasn't even hungry but stopped at sonic and got a popcorn chicken value meal, just because it was lunch time and you are supposed to eat.  I know my blood sugar is wonky but I have a full jar of peanut butter sitting in front of me.  I could have eaten a spoon full of that and been better off.  I also had little debbie chocolate donuts for breakfast.  I am really going to have to start logging my food again.  I am a member of CalorieKing and think it is a great tracking tool but do I use it?  Nope.  If I want to stay around 112 I can't treat my body like a garbage disposal.  Seriously.   Maybe that is why my energy levels are in the pooper?

Dennis has a doctor appointment tomorrow.  I hope they set him up with some tests and figure out what happened to him.  He is still having some problems on and off.  Today he has to drive to Kansas for work by himself.  That worries the heck out of me. 

OK, better get to work.

Monday already

Monday came way too soon.  Working OT a full day on Saturday could not suck more.  I get to do it all over again this week blech.

On a better note, I got the photo album from my boudoir session.  I was supposed to get a disc with the pictures but she forgot.  I should get it in the mail any day now.

I gave the book to Dennis yesterday, the first thing he asked me when he finished looking at it was "well, has the expense and pain been worth it?"  I told him I would do it again tomorrow if I had to.

I don't even look like the same person.

For some reason my weight is up to 115.8.  Not sure what that is about.  Stress maybe?  My face is broken out like a teenagers right now so it is possible.  It could also be hormones since I am on the last week of my pills. 

Dennis is doing better but is still having some symptoms off and on.  He promised me he would call his doctor today.  I called and reminded him an hour ago, I will call him when I go to lunch to make sure he remembered. 

My mom is having a port put in today.  She did her first round of chemo in a regular IV and had severe pain in her arm for a week.  She couldn't stand for anything to touch her arm.  This is a side effect of the drugs but not very common.  According to the nurses, the only way to stop this from happening is to use a port for chemo.  He goes back in next week to do it all again, so we will see.  So far that has been the only side effect she has had.  Of course she is tired and has had some abdominal cramping, but nothing worse then when you take a strong antibiotic on an empty stomach.  I hope it stays that way.

I am going to use my overtime money to buy new running shoes.  I have worn Pearl Izumis for years but since I have started losing weight I have gotten blisters on my toes with anything over a 3 mile run.  At first I thought maybe when they changed the design this time they made the toe box shorter.  But, maybe after 65 pounds my feet have changed?  I think it might be a good idea to go in and have the people at the running store see what they think.  In the meantime, I bought an extra pair of the design before this one because they are light blue and cute and could be worn as gym shoes or work shoes when I have to walk alot.  I am going to try and see if the toe box theory is correct.

I can't find my motivation to start work today.  Guess I better try to do something before lunch.

Have a great week.

scary day

We are pretty sure Dennis had a TIA- mini-stroke yesterday afternoon.  Unfortunately I don't have time to go into it right now since work is nuts.  I will go into it more when I can.  The good news is, he was acting normal when we left the hospital (yes he refused to stay the night like they wanted him to) and went to work today.  I would normally be mad at him for going to work but I need someone to watch him and make sure he is acting normal since I can't take off.

More later.

I am still here, still alive and kicking.  Work has really been kicking my ass though and limiting my "me" time. 

I don't think I updated after my doctor's appointments last week.  The band doctor said everything looked good.  If I get below 110 he is going to take fluid out; I was 112 while I was there.  I also went to my GP for the first time in a year.  She had my blood drawn the week before and we went over the results.  My protein is low but I knew it would be.  I bought stuff to make protein shakes but I haven't made one yet.  I just don't like to drink them.  I get Necter and the flavor isn't bad, I just can't get them down for some reason.

She also said my blood sugar is way too low.  Low on the normal spectrum is 70, mine was 60.  I have to start eating more like a diabetic to control my blood sugar.  She said that is one of the top reasons people regain weight is uncontrolled blood sugar. 

I ran outside last night for the first time in months.  We had a cool front come through and the high was 84!  Just as I got off work it started raining.  I can't remember the last time I was that excited to go for a run.  I ended up walking some, but did pretty good for my long hiatus, 3.1 miles and no knee pain today!!  It really made me miss training for a half marathon.  Nothing like running with a mission in mind to keep you motivated.

Today at lunch I get to pick up my boudoir pictures.  I am a little nervous about that.  Still haven't decided how I am going to go about giving them to Dennis.  I am the worlds biggest prude when it comes to stuff like that so I just can't figure out the right time to spring it on him.  I will have to do it this weekend though, I can't keep a secret to save my life.

So, back to work.  Things are going to be crazy for a few more weeks.  It will be a little better once our FY ends at the end of September.