hump day

So I guess once I hit my goal weight I felt like I was free to eat with reckless abondon again. This is so not going to work. Yesterday's food pretty much looks like this



breakfast - protein shake

snack - white chocolate peanut butter and a cookie

lunch - chinese sweet and sour chicken, kong fu (spicy) chicken, and sesame chicken, at least I didn't eat the rice

snack - half a bottle of white chocolate peanut butter

I'm home and bored snack - 4 oreos

it's hear and Dennis is late getting home from work snack - left over queso and chips from Bueno, I wasn't even hungry

Dinner - Salad from Carrabba's because it would go bad if I didn't eat it soon, even though I felt sick from my food overload

I don't even want to guess how many calories that is. Enough to scare me away from the scale today. I know it is probably the stress from working umpteen thousand hours, having a very needy mom on chemo and a boyfriend of 13 years who probably had a stroke last week. Food is not going to help and I know there is a better way to deal with the stress, I just don't want to. I did put the peanut butter at a friends desk so I won't be so tempted by it.

I feel fat and gross today.

To top it all off I woke up with my left eye almost swollen shut. Normally I would call in and tell my boss I would be late and put ice on it until it kind of went down, but that isn't an option right now with all the overtime I am working. So I look like a cyclopse. I really don't even care. Most people don't look at you close enough to even "see" you. I stopped on my way in to the office to pick up eye drops and I couldn't get them to come out, had to stick a safety pin down in the hole to get them to come out. So much for sterile. I took a benedryl this morning so I may come to with the outline of my computer keyboard on my forehead. If this happens you know I will take pictures.

Dennis had his doctor appointment this morning. He scheduled him for some more tests. He told him he thinks it was probably the TIA but it could have been a panic attack. I don't agree with the panic attack since it started at 10 am and lasted most of the day. We will both feel better once we get some answers.

Another blessing I have from all the stress, my face is broken out like a 13 year old boys. I go see my favorite esthetician and the dermatologist office tomorrow. His name is Gabe Horn and that alone makes me giggle (say it really fast) I like going to this place because it isn't a medical spa, it is a plastic surgeon, a dermatologist and the esthetician in one office. It isn't like most med spas where you never see the doctor, if Gabe thinks I need antibiotics the doctor will come in and look at me.

And again, I sound like a negative nancy. I am really not. Just stressed and tired. When this crap is all over I really need a girls trip.