I spent the first part of the week inhaling food. An entire cupcake from a specialty bakery; yes please, Oreo pie, why not; an entire hamburger for breakfast? Bring it. Chinese buffet for lunch? Sure why not, I’ll even eat the entire plate of food that I normally just pick at. My weight was up almost 5 pounds Sunday. I called my doctor first thing Monday morning and told the nurse that I need a fill stat. She kind of agreed with me. I originally planned on going in today but I do have a half marathon to run Saturday so it might be better for me to wait until Monday. I need to call her again today to make sure she got my message and got it all fixed for me.
I called in sick to work on Monday because I woke up feeling overwhelmed (food hangover?). I knew it was one of those days that if you looked at me wrong I would burst into tears. My allergies were killing me and I just couldn’t make myself go. So I called in. No big deal, people do it all the time. I pretty much slept all day and felt much better that afternoon so I went to aqua jogging with my friend. She Facebook tagged me at the pool and I wrote something about having a sinus infection but since I have a half on Saturday I have no choice but to keep on running.
I normally get some serious anxiety issues before a big run and I am really starting to freak out about Joplin. The two girls that are going with me say they plan on the three of us running together. I know most people like to run with people but I don’t, I am slower then all of my friends and I don’t want to slow them down or for them to make me have a miserable time by pushing me to hard. Add to that the 3.5 hour cut off; they start tearing the finish line down at 10:00 after the 6:30 start. I am a 3:15 finisher so if ANYTHING goes wrong this was all for nothing. So add this to the normal work stress and some serious family (two aunts in the hospital, one that raised my dad had a heart attack and has fluid on her lungs; the other is my dad’s sister but my mom’s best friend who had a relapse of colon cancer and had to have all but 1 foot of her large intestine removed) and in-law drama (SIL from hell is a raging alcoholic, something we all knew but it is getting to the point that BIL and the daughter are finding her passed out face first in the kitchen floor). And of course there is Hunter’s surgery next week and the injection I have to get in my knee Monday, which from what I understand is the consistency of peanut butter; I have a lot going on.
I didn’t feel a lot better mentally on Tuesday but I knew I couldn’t get away with two days off work, I don’t do that unless I am REALLY sick and people from work are all calling and checking on me to see if I am near death. So I sucked it up and went to work yesterday. I really should have stayed home. On our desk we have wipe off boards where you can write if you are going to be in meetings/training, whatever. Well someone wrote on my board “broken nail, out all day”. I normally have a good sense of humor and am pretty laid back but I was so mad that I could feel the angry tears starting already and I just got to work. I saw my friend Kim and Shaun in our supervisor’s office; who is normally pretty cool, and I went in there and made a comment about how I didn’t think that was the least bit funny. Well my supervisor kind of laughed and made the comment that I must not have been that sick since I was able to make it to the gym last night. I told her I have a half marathon on Saturday and even if I am running 103 fever I am going to do it so that is irrelevant as far as I am concerned. I guess they had been laughing and joking around before I got in there but she angrily told everyone they needed to get out of her office and get some work done because she was tired of getting called on the carpet for stuff that was falling through the cracks. Whatever. Then about 5 minutes later she came out of her office and was screaming that she wanted status sheets on everything we are doing because we are not keeping up with our work, then she gathered our branch together and told everyone that no one is to write anything on anyone else’s white board. I got so mad because I knew it all started with me and she thought I was over reacting (maybe I was) that I told my friend Kim that I was going to the locker room. I sat down there for at least 30 minutes pissed off and crying – thank god for waterproof mascara and eyeliner. Then the fact that Kim didn’t come down stairs and check on me kind of made me mad too. No, I didn’t want to talk to anyone but I think given the same circumstances I would have at least checked on her. It was just a really shitty day. I deactivated my Facebook account, if I reactivate it I will hide all my work “friends”
Because of all of this I had my first experience with my band being affected by my emotions. I threw up water. I couldn’t eat at all until about 6 that night, everything came back up. Well, actually it hardly even went down. It was a completely different experience then I am used to. It was not a fun experience and made me almost as mad as crying because I am angry.
I got a fortune cookie 3 months ago that said “Remember three months from this date. Good things are in store for you” Well I taped it to the calendar and tomorrow is “the” day. I sure hope it is right.
So not to leave you on a depressing note, the 5K I ran on Saturday was lots of fun. A group of us went to eat before the run and drank a $.99 margarita. Never ran after drinking a margarita but it sure takes care of the carbs. There were a lot of people there that I knew, it is one of the bigger and oldest runs so they have a live band and a real party atmosphere. Anyway, my pace was really good through the first half of the run. I was getting ready to pass this group of guys and I saw them passing around a flask. I commented that I was just going to run with them, and they passed the flask to me. Being the idiot I am I took a drink….IT WAS SCOTCH!! I kept having to stop and let the waves of nausea pass, which included one last stop about 50 feet from the finish line. I was not going to puke in front of the crowd though. I finished in 39:56 so it wasn’t bad, not a PR but not my slowest by far.
I hope today is better; everyone is still pretty much avoiding me, which works for me.
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