Getting closer

I talked to Roberta, my bff from the surgeons office today and got all the in's and out's of what I need to do/bring to my pre-op and for the actual surgery date.  I find it harder and harder to concentrate on everything the closer I get to the big day.  I have been lurking on every lap band blog I can find, going back to the first post to read about the early stages and then looking at the latest post for a "where are they now".  The blogs have been so helpful!!  I think they have calmed my nerves a lot. 

While I was out of town last week I took before pictures.  I know I need to post them; I haven't given the link to my blog to many people and I am mainly writing this to calm my nerves and to see how far I have come.  However, I find it very hard to even look at them right now.  Maybe I will be able to post them after I see some progress.  My plan, for now, is to take another set of pictures when I go to Jackson MS at the end of July.  I don't have a full length mirror in my house (for good reason) and hotels are just perfect for seeing all the things I have been trying to hide.

I actually told a friend of mine at work how much I weigh.  That is unprecedented, no one knows my weight except me and my doctor(s).  It didn't help the old ego that she is 8 months pregnant and weighs less than me but you have to start somewhere.

Tomorrow is supposed to be my last day of real food for a week, but I am going to do a horrible thing and postpone it for a day.  The few people at work that know about my surgery want to take me out for one last lunch and I have an appointment tomorrow during lunch.  In a way I am thinking to myself "seriously it is just one day, what can it hurt" but another part of me is thinking I am already a failure. 

One thing I need to do this week is break down and try the Unjury chicken broth protein powder.  I can hardly type that without gagging.  I don't think I will so much need it presurgery since I will be able to make protein smoothies, but if it is OK tasting I need to order some to have post-op. 

I have taken my goal jeans out of storage...brand new True Religion jeans I paid full price for (which I hardly ever do) that still have the tags on them, since I outgrew them before I had a special occasion to wear them.  Once I lose this blubber I am going to buy more nice designer jeans and wear them to work!!  Heck I might even wear them to bed!!