T-minus 30 hours until my first fill. 

will it hurt?

will I feel restriction right away?

will it hurt?

will the weight start falling off at the same rate it came off after the surgery?

and of course the all important will it hurt?

I am really curious about how much he will put in.

I always get puffy for a few days after I fly and the extreme heat isn't helping that.   I am not sure if I should drink extra water to try and make the puff go down and make the port easier to find of keeping the water weight in the hopes that he will give me more of a fill. 

Today is my first day back after being in Jackson MS for work. You would think it would have been so freaking hot but it was actually cooler there then it was here. Even with the humidity I hardly broke a sweat when I walked outside. I gained 3 pounds, which considering that I went from being very careful with my diet to eating out 3 times a day and a glass of wine every night, I am not surprised. I need to be chugging some water but I am too lazy to get up and fill up my water jug. Kinda sad I know. There was a really nice shopping center about a half mile from the hotel and I spent way too much money. My co-worker told me I had to buy new shorts or she was going to take a picture when the shorts I was wearing fell off my butt. I bought two sizes smaller then what I had on. I also bought some very cute shirts on sale 40% off sale price at Banana Republic, one of those stores I thought I would never shop in because they are "skinny" clothes.  Some of them are still too small but they won't be for long.  Funny, even when I lost to goal a few years ago, before I gained most of it back I wouldn't have shopped there because I thought I was too big. The co-worker that I hung out with really helped to push me out of my comfort zone.

My first fill is scheduled for Wednesday.  I hope he fills that sucker up.  Right now I feel like I have never had the surgery.  We even went to Pei Wei last week and I ate brown rice with no trouble.  I did order a kids meal and I was full after where as before I think I would have eaten more.  Another problem I have ran into is the freaking snow cone shack outside my neighborhood.  I really need to stop eating those things!!  I have been meaning to google them and see how many calories they have but I know I don't really want to know. 

It seems so strange to me that I have had the band for almost 5 weeks.  The first few days I thought I had made a huge mistake, now I can't even tell I have a band.  Every now and again I will rub my port just to make sure it is still there.  Is that weird?

The next C25K running group starts next week with my running group. I am trying to decide if I want to sign up. It is just so hot. It is seriously supposed to get to 111 a couple of days this week. Once it cools off I will start training for the Flying Pig Half, but it is too hot to even run early in the morning. They are also doing a biggest loser contest. I want to sign up but I would feel really bad if I won any money knowing that I had an unfair advantage. I know some people go on diet pills for the contest but I don't think it would be very honest of me.

I will find out Wednesday if I am cleared to do weights again. I have been kind of slacking off on the exercise.  Not to beat a dead horse but it's freaking hot.  Once I get home I just want to sit under the A/C.  I know shut up the whining.  I am not like this in the winter, really I'm not.

OK, I have to sign off. My work BFF had a baby yesterday and we are going to sneak out of work since teh boss is gone and meet Ms. Olivia Kate! I am not a kid person but I have already spoiled this kid rotten. I just hope she doesn't try to make me hold her. So not comfortable with that

Three week update

Wow it has already been three weeks since I was banded.  That is crazy.  I am stuck in the middle of bandster hell.  I can literally eat whatever I want without any problems.  I suspect I can eat as much as I want but I haven't tested that.  The only way I know I am really banded is the pain I get under my left ribcage where my port is.  It gets worse as the day goes on, I suspect it has something to do with how my desk hits right about where my port is.  I have to remember to sit back a little and not lean into my desk....which I should be doing anyway.  I also think the pain gets worse after eating but that doesn't make a lot of sense unless it has something to do with the muscle and digestion.  There were a few days this week where the pain was bad enough that I wanted to go home and lay down but I toughed it out.

Because of the port pain and the oppressive heat wave exercise has been non existent this week.  Once I get home I don't want to leave again.  It is so hot that I when I get home from work I have the a/c on, the ceiling fan and a floor fan and it is still to hot to move.  I think we are close to 20 days with temps well over 100.  Today is supposed to be 105.  I was not made for hot weather it just isn't in my  Norwegian DNA.  Bring back the snow I say!!

Next week will be very taxing on my self control since I will be out of town most of the week.  This is causing me lots of stress.

In other health news I have to have a crown put on one of my molars.  I have never had anything really done to my teeth other than regular cleanings and a few minor cavities.  I am seriously considering having them gas me.  D told me not to have the gas because of the reaction I has after my surgery and I will be by myself and won't have anyone to drive me.  After all I have been through in the last three weeks I know I can take the pain but I just don't want to.

Oh, and I almost forgot.  As I walked into the office this morning someone stopped me and asked me if I had lost weight!!  My first compliment!!!  I almost hugged her. 

crash and burn

I am stuck in bandster hell and let me tell you, it sucks!!  This weekend eating was not good, not entirely bad but compared to what I have been eating.  Saturday I ate a protein bar for breakfast and no matter how hard I try I can't eat a protein bar without milk, plus added protein.  We had a lot of errands to run so we went out for lunch and I got chicken strips; could have eaten them all but I didn't.  Could have eaten all of them PLUS french fries but I knew better then to order them.  Later that day I found a bag of cheetos, I think that pretty much says it all.  Normally after eating that much I wouldn't be hungry for dinner but D made some strange hamburger concoction with okra and corn in it.  I knew better then to try that so I took some out and melted some cheese over it and ate it like a burrito.

Yesterday was a little better but not by much.  I ate bread for the first time, an entire grilled cheese sandwich to be exact.

I called my doctors office this morning and begged them for a fill a "little" early.  They told me 18 days out from surgery I am just going to have to tough it out.

What really sucks is this time next week I will be on my way to Jackson MS for work so I will be eating out 3 times a day.  In Jackson MS.  Where they deep fat fry sweet tea.  I know I will get through it, my fill is scheduled for August 3 but that seems like a lifetime away right now.
To make matters worse it is so hot outside that after I get home from work I don't want to leave the house.  It is hot in my house with the A/C, ceiling fans and floor fans going.  I can't believe it is hotter in Oklahoma than on the coast of Texas.  There is something really wrong with that.

And finally the icing on the proverbial cake.  I realized that the battery in my scale was wonky.  I replaced it last night and this morning I was up 2 pounds from what it had been saying I  weighed.  Not sure if all the recreation eating is catching up to me or if the scale was wrong because of the battery, regardless, that is 2 freaking pounds.  And as ridiculous as it sounds it is making me feel extremely fat today (and cranky if you hadn't caught on to that by now).

BLAH

Too little too late

I have been trying really hard to work my ass off for a very long time.  In October my long time personal trainer changed gyms, forcing me to switch trainers after 2 year.  I hadn't ever had a male trainer before but I thought the change might be good.  I liked him alright but I wasn't seeing any weight loss.  I told the new trainer that I was going to have WLS at the end of May and he literally had a fit in the lobby of the gym.  I was very hurt and stopped going to the gym.  I still walked/ran with my sister and friends but I hadn't been to the gym since that day.  He really hurt my feelings, bad enough that I defriended him on Facebook, lol.  A few weeks later he sent me a text asking me if I was really serious about the surgery and asking if I would still train with him afterwards.  I answered most of his questions but never really said if I was going to train with him anymore.  I have 12 pretty expensive sessions left and I was willing to just write him off after he made me feel like a failure.

Ever since the horrible encounter I have been kind of avoiding the gym. Just didn't want to have to see him and defend my choices again. Well yesterday I felt really good, no residual pain left from the surgery and I was ready to start moving. Unfortunately it is 107 degrees outside and I don't think I would last very long in that heat. So I decided to heck with hot trainer, I am going to the gym.

I saw the normal receptionist and she was kind of acting strange but made the comment that she was really glad I was back. She was there when the trainer started going off on me about how disappointed he was in me for having the lap band surgery so she knows everything.

Hit the treadmill, did 30 minutes at my normal warm up pace since I am not even two weeks out from surgery, but it was enough to break a sweat...did I mention it is 107 outside? On the way to the locker room to get my stuff I run into trainer in the lobby.  I really wasn't sure how this was going to turn out at all. He freaked out because he didn't know I was coming. I told him I wasn't aware that I had to call ahead and let him know. He asked me when my surgery was and I gave him the details. His jaw literally hit the floor when he realized I was back at the gym less then two weeks out. He said that he wrote me off and thought since I was going the WLS route that I would just not go to the gym anymore. I told him that he obviously doesn't know me very well and should have talked to me about that instead of attacking me with grande negativity.

The high point of the entire conversation, he asked me how much weight I had lost. I told him about 12 pounds so far. He freaked out and said that I look so much different already and that my face is thinner then he has ever seen it. He also said that I look 10 years younger.

I haven't decided if I will train with him or not, like I said I do have 12 sessions but I have no doubts if I do use him I will not purchase anymore.  

I love chewing

After my doctor's appointment last week he told me to start transitioning into soft foods, he really doesn't have a "mushy" list.  I started off mashed potatoes late last week then moved on to raviolis, mac and cheese, and turkey deli meat and cheese by the weekend.  Last night we went to the movies and out to eat.  D and I were both a little apprehensive about where/what to eat but we decided on Mexican and I ate about 3/4 of a chicken quesadilla.  I am pretty sure that I could have eaten the entire thing but I was tired of chewing...who would have thought.

The hardest thing for me this weekend was going to the movies and not getting popcorn.  I am the kind of person that can eat a 4 course meal before the movies and still buy at least a small popcorn.  Instead I brought in a bottle of water and drank on that through the movie.  It wasn't the same but...

At this point I really feel like I could eat whatever I wanted.  I am not going to do anything crazy and order a Mcdonalds value meal, but I totally feel like I would have not problem eating it.  I also can tell now that I have no restriction and am really having to start taking those extra slow bites so I get tired of eating before I get full.  The next three weeks before my fill are going to be long ones.

Oh, I was really worried about gaining after I started on soft food but I think the added calories helped and I was down 2 pounds this morning!!  That's 11.6 total!

One week update

Feeling human again!!  Hard to believe this time last week I was probably puking my guts out in my hospital room.  I still have some pain on my left side where the port is but it is going away slowly.  I woke up a few times in the night laying on that side (that is the side that my nuggle bug dog sleeps, it is hard not to curl up with him). No food issues at all and from what I can tell no gas pains.  I haven't had to take one gas pill, maybe that is the hidden benefit of being sick after surgery.

The doctor's appointment went well yesterday.  Dr. Atkins is a little hotty; not sure why I never noticed that before.  He checked out the tattoo on foot; which is the finishers medal for the one and only marathon I have ever completed, and he said I would be back to running sooner than I think.  Everything checked out well and he told me to start incorporating some soft foods into my diet.  I ate mashed potatoes last night and will probably get a baked potato with cheese for lunch today.  He suggested I try some high quality cold cuts and maybe some cheese.  I will go to Whole Foods this weekend and pick some up.  Kinda sad that I am this excited about lunch meat.  Of course I still need to wait awhile before I can attempt grilled chicken or anything crazy like that.  He also cleared me to start doing some cardio but no weights yet.  I want to start my pilates classes but since I am still having some port pain I will probably wait a little while for that.  My plan is to go to the gym this weekend and walk on the treadmill for 30-45 minutes.  I will be interested if my old trainer has anything to say to me...but that is a story for another time.

Oh, they also scheduled my first fill, which is crazy to me since I still feel like I have no appetite from the surgery.  I go in August 3!!  The week before that I will be in Jackson MS for work, pretty much the fried food capital of the world.  Too bad they couldn't have moved it up a few weeks.