Feeling Human

I am finally starting to feel like a normal person again.  I don't think I realized how sick I was until I wasn't.  I guess that is a funny way of putting it. 

I brought my running stuff with me to work.  If Kim doesn't have to pick up her baby from the nanny she will 'run' with me after work.  I don't expect to break any speed records, distance either.  I am looking forward to a little bit of movement though.  I am sure it will hurt good, lol.  I feel bad because she is at least 2 minutes per mile faster then me.  But, I haven't ran in 6 weeks so I am sure she understands I am kind of starting from zero.

I looked up the Jeff Galloway marathon training program.  It is 30 weeks so I have plenty of time to train for the marathon in November.  I am both nervous and excited.  I look at the schedule and think I can totally do that.  Of course it is 30 weeks!!  That is a long freaking time.  The biggest obstacle I think will be the heat.  That and keeping the motivation level up over that length of time.  I really wish we had a Galloway training program here that I could sign up for.  Actually, I should check with the running store and see if they would allow someone to train there using the Galloway method.  I know they charge for the program.  I am not a strong enough runner to lead a group like that.  Maybe someday.

I really wanted to get my next tattoo before I started to run again; I want to get "The Journey of a Thousand Miles" along the side of my foot.  Can't really do that and run you need to give it at least a month to heal before you can wear socks.  Who knows when it will happen. 

Eating is kind of off the charts.  My weight was up to 111 this morning, which is where I like to keep it.  It will be hard to maintain without any restriction though.  I have regained my love for fast food.  I am trying really hard to resist as much as possible and keep portions in check if I do give in.  I forgot just how hard it is.  I have an appointment with the gastro doctor tomorrow morning and we can schedule the scope and see if there are any problems with the band.  Once that is done we can start to fill it up again.  I know I won't have it as full as it was but it is better than nothing.   

I feel like all I do now is eat and think about food.  It sucks.  I hope they can get me in to do the scope on Monday so I can get this behind me.  I am stuck in bandster hell all over again.  I would like to be able to maintain with more will p

I completely forgot to show you guys my new geek glasses!!!  I have been wearing my contacts so I haven't had a chance to get a picture of them....

I am totally geeked out today.  My bangs started to get on my nerves, so I braided them back, then my shoes started to hurt my feet so I dug my running socks out of my gym bag.  I am looking like a straight up poindexter!

nothing as sexy as slicked back hair, glasses, leggings, and socks.  Lock up your men folk ladies.

fill free day one

I had a spinach Florentine bagel for breakfast.  Like the entire 400 + calorie bagel.  It was good too.  And I'm hungry.  Must get food under control!!!

I have some pizza that Dennis brought home from work yesterday that I will eat for lunch.  Something called a white cheezy; 4 Types of Cheese Including Feta, Bacon, Onions, Tomatoes, Butter Garlic Sauce...without the bacon because I don't like meat on my pizza.  I had a piece for dinner last night and it was amazing. 

I am in control of my food, food does not control me.

I am feeling so much better.  I still have some tightness in my chest but I am sure that will take a few days to go away.  It will all work out.  I hope to be back the first week of May.

This weekend will suck since I am not going to be in the City but I am going to try to make the best of it hanging out with my sister, getting our toes done for spring.  I will have to flutter my eyelashes and beg Dennis for some shopping money.  All these doctor's appointments have left me BROKE.

Speaking of doctors, I called the dentist and my tooth still isn't finished so it looks like it will be another week at least before I get my implant finished.  Jeez.

 

the calm, fingers crossed

The doctor didn't take all of the fluid out of my band but he did take out over half. 

To recap recent events, and as y'all have heard me bitch about, I have been sick for weeks.  I went to urgent care and they told me I had bronchitis.  I thought it might have been my band but I was running 102 fever so I thought it would blow over.  I coughed so much that I would sit up in my sleep and throw up.  Lots of nights on the couch and recliner.  About a week later I tried to run a 5K loop and my lungs wouldn't do it.  So I called my regular doctor and got additional antibiotics (she said that a Z-Pak wouldn't touch bronchitis) steroids, etc.  Another week, more coughing but with chest pains this time in addition to the fever and everything else.  I spent the better part of the day at my doctor yesterday having EKG, chest X-rays, breathing treatments, the whole nine yards.  Everything looked fine but she is going to set up an upper GI with the gastro doctor to just check things out.  Last night was another night spent coughing up a lung and running fever.  She called and talked to Dr. A and they decided that my esophagus was really inflamed and decided that I needed to have most of the fluid removed and give everything time to heal.  I have only worked one day this week because I have been physically exhausted and could hardly sit up for anytime without feeling light headed. 

I think I am left with maybe 2CC's in my band.  I usually have 5.4 or so.  Of course I can get filled but damn if those $150 appointments don't add up.

For now I am supposed to take Mylanta and get some rest and food; my weight was down to 105.  As a matter of fact there is a froyo place by the doctor's office and Dr. A walked me down and made me get some.  Funniest trip to the "diet" doctor ever. 

For now I have big plans for a food truck event next weekend.  I'm not sure how long it will take for everything to heal but I consider myself lucky that I am not in the hospital. 

As far as running goes, it isn't.  I called the friend I was going to stay with and told her I was out for this weekend.  Joplin is in two weeks and I am going to blow that one off too.  Both doctors said it was going to take awhile to get the endurance back.  I am signed up for St. Louis RNR in October and I plan to regroup and kick ass at that one.  As a matter of fact I really want to do the full marathon in Tulsa in November, zero to 100 that's me.

I am anxious to see what the scope shows but I am trying really hard not to think about it.  The last week I kind of reflected on how easy this process has been for me. I really hope it continues to heal and that I am able go back to auto mode.  For now I just have my fingers crossed for a good nights sleep and a full day of work tomorrow so I won't be as stressed over the weekend.  My sister and I are going to have our nails done and eat at Olive Garden...I can seriously see myself gaining a lot of weight fast.  MUST REMEMBER SELF CONTROL!!

Thank so much for all of your support, it really does mean a lot to me and helped calm me down while I was in full freak out mode at the doctor.  I will be back up and running in no time...again, fingers crossed.

Lap band pneumonia?

On my way for an "emergency" unfill. Will give details later.

Is it wrong that losing my band is my biggest worry?

step in the right direction

I decided to go home at lunch yesterday and sleep some more.  Probably the best decision I could have made.  I took a nice little swig from the cough medicine and just chilled.  I slept most of the afternoon and woke up feeling better.  Not much coughing today but I still have that nice mellow codeine haze so I am sure that has helped.  I am trying to push down as much water as I can, which is helping too.  Yesterday I got to the point that nothing tasted good, I couldn't force down another drink or bite, you know it's bad when just water leaves an aftertast.  This morning lemon water isn't causing too much of an aftertaste so again, probably a good thing. 

My new scale seems to be working well.  I am still around 108 so it isn't making sudden jumps and dips like the old ones were.  I think that feels about right too given my lack of appetite with the ick.  Right now I am starving for the first time in over a week.  I broke down and ate a packet of skinny cow clusters.  It was so worth it too.  Might have to drive through Raising Cane and get some chicken fingers for lunch too.  Man my stomach is growling.  Speaking of chicken fingers, am I the only one that thinks the Popeye's chicken "hands" are the most repulsive things ever?  Gross, they look like a witches hand.

Given the way I feel right now I think I will attempt to walk the OKC half.  Of course that is subject to change at any moment.  My cough has died down a lot and I slept really good last night.  I really need to put out a facebook message and see if anyone in the group is going to walk and would let me join up, just to keep me honest.  I also need to be mindful of expenses what with all the dental work and stuff I have been going through.  We still don't know what is going to happen with the furlough crap and I can spend some serious money at a marathon expo. 

Really don't have much else to say.  I slept through Bates Motel last night so I am going to have to stay up long enough to watch it tonight.  Other then that, I think I am going to just lay back.  Shocking I know.  I downloaded Under the Dome last night and started reading it.  Dennis has a geek/ham radio meeting tonight so I will be able to sit with the kids and relax. 

Alright I have to fake working.  Today is the last day of the steriods so I should be starting to shake off some of this funk and be able to concentrate better soon.  Right now I would be just as happy with my head on my keyboard drooling, lol.

balancing acts

I am trying to decide if it is time for a little unfill.  It is really hard to tell since I am on so many medications right now.  High strength antibiotics for the bronchitis crap, which in turn leads to taking probiotics to regulate the bacteria in my belly.  Then there is the acid medication that I am taking to make my belly even feel like eating.  I am down to 108 but I know a lot of it comes from the crud and I am pretty sure once I am able to breath like a normal person I should be able to eat like one too?

I did nothing at all this weekend.  Saturday I slept until 9, got up, took cough medication and slept on the couch all day.  I asked Dennis to take me to the grocery store but he kept telling me that I just needed to sleep.  So, that is what I did.  Sunday was a little better.  For some godforsaken reason there are only 2 stores that carry the make-up brand I wear.  I ordered it online but got the wrong color so I had to take it back or risk being seen at work without makeup.  I got some badly needed shopping done and got out of the house.  Of course I went back into a coma state when I got back home.

So I have a decision to make.  Sunday is the OKC marathon.  I signed up on a whim after Boston and have been sick with the lung crap ever since.  My doctor said the cough from the crud I have can last up to 3 weeks!!  I have not really trained, my last "long" run was March 17 and it was a 9 mile trail run.  Should I chance it?  Should I contact the organizers and ask them if I can cut back to the 5K?  I could say that I would just walk it but that is easier said then done.  Heck, I don't know what to do.  Yeah I am probably making this harder then it should be.

Dennis is taking my little sassy lashes to the vet today to have her put back on diet medication.

She has some really bad food manners and will get into some serious fights at the food bowl.  The medication we put her on works great but OMG it is so freaking expensive.  I asked my doctor if we could just get her put on a band.  It wouldn't be such a big deal if she wasn't missing that back leg but we are really worried that the extra weight will put too much pressure on her knee and hip and she will have a long and slow recovery.  You can tell by looking she is daddy's little girl.

short and sweet

Today is a bittersweet day for Oklahoma.  I am not a country music fan but this song is so strong it makes me cry every time I watch it.

The Change

It also fits the current situation perfectly. 

Hope everyone has a safe and good weekend.