pity party, table for one

So I am not in a good place with my running.  Like at all.  I ran with my work friend after work yesterday.  During the run she took 2 phone calls and returned a text message, never breaking stride, never out of breath.  Me, on the other hand, well I was sucking air.  The entire run was just tough.  To make matters worse I see on the interwebs that the 101 year old runner ran a 5K and is faster then me. 

It doesn't help that I trained work friend to run her first half marathon.  It wasn't very long until she was running circles around me.  She ended up kicking my ass in the half marathon.  She now runs an average of 11 minute miles and could probably greatly improve her pace if she could find a better running partner that doesn't run 13/14 minute miles.  I suck.

I will always be the "runner" at the back helping the race director pick up the orangee cones as everyone else has drank their free beer and have headed home.  I will probably never run a sub-3 half marathon.  I either need to just accept that or find another way to get some cardio in.  I have been running for 5 years and I am pretty sure my pace will not improve much at this point.

Yeah, I know, running is an individual sport and I shouldn't compare myself to others, but that is very hard to do, especially when everyone is flying by you.

I can blame my horrible pace on the heat, the humidity, my heart rate issue, heck I can blame it on the moon being in Gemini but the common denominator is that I might as well be a walker the pace I run. 

This might be hard to believe but this is making me want to cry, I am just so frustrated with myself right now.  When I had Lap Band surgery I thought losing 65 pounds would greatly improve my running pace but it didn't, not even a little.  I am just always going to be one of the last ones across the finish line.  I just need to do some self reflection and see if that is enough.

Supposed to do a 10 mile run this weekend.  This could make it interesting.

Sorry for the downer post but I need to vent.

planes, food trucks, and running

I had a fabulous weekend. Well, I guess it was just Sunday since I worked from home late Friday and half the day on Saturday. But I did get my part of the project finished and won't have to work OT again for awhile!!




I had planned on going for a 5 mile run after I finished working on Saturday. As I was getting my shoes on I heard what I thought was the wind pick up. I looked outside and saw that it had started to rain. I'm no wimp; I like to run in the rain. I went to get a light rain jacket and walked out the door just as the clouds opened and it started pouring. I decided it was a short run anyway and changed into my PJ's and got out the Kindle instead. Well played mother nature.



Sunday we went to what was supposed to be a food truck festival. As it turns out there were a total of two food trucks there and one hadn't opened yet. So much for a festival. We decided to go in and look around the air and space museum since we had never been there. It is very small and probably not worth the $15 each we paid each for admission. There were also some old WWII planes that had come in for a special thing so it wasn't such a bad deal. We went through the museum part pretty quickly then went back out to eat lunch. The other truck had opened, but we got food from the first truck anyway, beef tacos, and "grub" fries. The fries were so freaking good. They said they were twice fried and seasoned with fresh rosemary. Heaven I tell you!!



Then we went to look at the airplanes. It was pretty neat, but they charged over $500 for a 30 minute flight in a B-29 bomber and $1500 for a 20 minute flight in a Mustang fighter. We decided we were more than happy to pay our $15 and look at them on the ground.



Dennis was falling all over himself to make me happy. Not that he doesn't do that on a regular basis, but with the last few weeks I have had at work, it was really nice to be doted on.



Add the season premiers of Dexter and Homeland and that is a great day!!



I haven't weighed in a few days, but I can tell I am gaining a little. Not a bad thing. My doctor's office called me to reschedule my October appointment and the liaison lady told me that he tells all of his seminar classes about me and how he has told me he will take fluid out of my band if I continue to lose. I am sure they think he is crazy just like I would have back at the beginning of my journey. I just knew I would be one of those people that the band just didn't work for!!


OK, I am off to change into my running clothes and get in 3 miles with my friend from work.  It looks nice and cloudy outside, maybe I can beat the rain this time.

OMG today is fiesta day at work. I have eaten so much I am probably going to be sick and it isn't even 10:00 Two words, sopapilla cheesecake I guess this will make up for me not being hungry all week.


I am supposed to work 6 hours tomorrow but I am really tempted to just stay really late tonight. No need in ruining my entire weekend by having to be in this hell hole. So far nothing major has happened today but the day is young. We are all waiting for crazy to walk into the conference room where the food is and clear out the room. Yesterday she caused so much drama we had an email from our Cheif Counsel telling us not to discuss anything, yeah right.

I need to do a 5 mile run this weekend, not sure if I am going to do it Saturday or Sunday. Probably Saturday to get it over with. There is a food truck festival this weekend at the Tulsa Air and Space Museum. We have never been to the museum and I have never eaten off of a real food truck so I am really excited about it. We will probably go Sunday so I need to get some miles worked in Saturday before I eat like a pig again.

Today is the last day of our FY!! I thought this day would never come!! All or our labor funds expire so no more overtime for awhile!! I can live like a normal person with normal hours

Ok I gotta get busy and make sure I get out all the stuff I promised out by the end of the FY. I still have a few hours

TTT - Friday eve

1.  I totally didn't want to run yesterday.  It was hot and humid.  The work friend I run with had to rush home to a sick baby so I thought I had an out.  Turns out the nanny overreacted, baby was fine and she came back just so we could run.  It really wasn't bad.  We got our 3.1 in.  My times aren't really that much off from last year.  I will always be the runner at the end picking up the cones but hey, I am out there and usually having fun.

2.  Work friend signed up for a 5K run at the zoo next month.  There is also a 10K and I really would like to do it.  I am just not sure if I am mentally prepared to be last or close to it.  It is way to early in my running season to feel defeated.

3.  My eating has been shit this week.  Stress is not kind on my band.  I hope things calm down soon, you can cut the tension with a knife in our office.

4.  We had an investigator come in yesterday and question everyone separately about what happened at work.  I really hope they can fix the problem (fire the crazy lady) but I am not holding by breath.  I told the investigator that I resent the heck out of this lady for putting everyone through all for this for something that didn't even happen.

5.  I have to work Saturday.  It should be my last for awhile.  I am so looking forward to having weekends again.

6.  I broke down and bought a new Coach purse and wallet from the outlet online yesterday.  I am pretty sure shopping has replaced food for my go to comfort in times of stress.  My shopping nazi friend will not know about this.  Shopping hiatus be damned, I am working a butt load of overtime.

7.  The fair starts today.  I have decided I am not going this year.  The only reason I normally go is for the sugar art show that was started by Kerry Vincent of Food Network, an Okie by choice I might add.  The cakes are amazing.  But since I have to work I am just not going to mess with it.  Fried Oreos be damned.
 
8.  This is a sample of what I will miss at the sugar arts show

amazing!!

9.  I'm really jealous of everyone going to Chicago.  I am probably the only person in the history of meet-ups that has arranged to have myself uninvited to any future meet-up events.  :-)

10.  Tonight is hair night!!  I really want to dye my hair bright red again.  Dennis hates it that bright but he broke his part of the agreement to stay clean shaven if I keep my hair a normal hair color.  I love hair night.

new low

So my weight yesterday was 110.  I am 100% positive this is coming from the stress that the crazy lady at work is causing.  Everyone, including me, is afraid to be in a room alone with her.  I won't even go to the restroom on our floor, I go to the one on the floor below ours.  Apparently we will all get to visit with a JAG officer this week for additional interviews.

Add this to our end of year stuff and I am a stress ball.

So funny that before lap band I would have tried to eat my way out of this.  I actually went to Sonic and ordered cheese tater tots for breakfast.  I got to work, took a bite and thought I was going to get sick.  I gave them away.  Sometimes I think the simple act of ordering junk food is therapeutic.

Going for a run with my co-worker after work if it isn't storming.  I really need some physical activity.  I blew off yesterdays run because it was 100 degrees.  I don't do hot.

OK, gotta get to work and shake this mood.

Weekend is over :(

I was totally unmotivated to run this weekend, but I made myself do it.  Once I got out there I had a great time and a great run.  I did 6.75 miles in something like an hour and twenty some odd mintues (moving time according to my Garmin).

I also bought two new running bras in a band size and two cup sizes smaller than my last bra.  This is totally not included in the shopping hiatus, I could have hurt myself!!  I have a few barely if ever warn 34 D Moving Comfort running bras if anyone is interested.

I enjoyed my drama free weekend.  I am not sure if the crazy lady is at work today but I am certainly not going to seek her out.  I feel so sorry for the girl that sits across from her.

Not much else going on.  Watched a butt load of tv, finished up season one of Homeland and looking forward to the new season of it and Dexter starting up Sunday!! 

Wow

Apparently I have become some kind of drama magnet over the past week. Lord have mercy don't let it spill over into next week!