Thursday, May 31, 2012
Ten Things – short week style
1. My mom has colon cancer and no matter what I do or what I am trying to think about, it is always the first thing on my mind. She goes in today for the PET scan and her surgery is June 14. My older sister is a total bitch and is acting like our mom is doing this just to inconvenience her. You would hope it was just her coping mechanism but nope, she is really that selfish.
2. The book I finally settled on was Wild by Cheryl Strayed. It is an excellent book
3. Don’t ever talk about finding the perfect book to read around the office. A girl that works in our finance division that was working on my computer settings Friday heard me talking about trying to find a book to read over the holiday. Turns out she just wrote a book and needed someone that wasn’t family to give her an honest opinion. I hate it. Can’t get past the first few pages but I am going to finish it so I can give her an honest account of what needs to be fixed. Lord help me.
4. I signed up for a 5K tomorrow night just to make sure I get out and run. The girl I met while running the Joplin run emailed me and asked if I wanted to get together and run with her. I decided I would rather run with her instead of doing the whole 5K thing. Besides, I already picked up the packet and have my t-shirt. I just wanted to make sure I ran tomorrow. We are supposed to do a long run this weekend. I am going to ask her if she wants to go to Kansas City in October, or Springfield November….or any half, I am having withdrawls. She is a much more positive person than HMF (high maintenance friend) and that makes a world of difference when you have a long run with someone.
5. I promised a report out; off of my desk and in the mail by COB tomorrow, and I haven’t even started it. My supervisor told us that there will be a staff meeting sometime today, which means 4 hours wasted. So I should be working on that instead of writing out ten things but I have priorities damn it.
6. Weight is still at 119, which, with all the stress I am going through right now is kind of shocking to me. I am used to gaining when I feel like this. Is it bad that I want to change my goal to 115? I am 5’3” so I don’t think that is anywhere near too small.
7. My iPhone is jacked up. The on off button isn’t functioning. I can’t afford a new phone right now but OMG I do not want to hang out at the apple store while they look at it. That place makes me a nervous wreck.
8. Getting my hair done tomorrow or I would hang out at the pool this weekend. I hate being in the sun right after I get my hair colored. Seems like a waste of money. But I can’t wait to try out my new swimsuit!!
9. I really want the new running shorts Athleta has in their catalog (page 23) but $56 for running shorts? Am I alone in thinking that is a lot of freaking money for something I am only going to use to run in? Wow.
10. I am addicted to Veronica Mars. The reruns are on Soap Network. I watched the first season and part of the second when it originally aired but was deployed to New Orleans and Lake Charles after Katrina/Rita and missed a lot of the second and third (last) season. I am almost caught up with it and I have no idea what I will do with my afternoons once I am. Gosh I guess I could get off my lazy butt and go for a run….
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
The good and the bad
My weight is down to 119. Now that I am almost to my 118 goal I wonder if 115 is doable. My friends are worried about me, thinking that I am going to keep lowering my goal until I make myself sick, but I really don't see that happening. I love to eat what little bit I can.
I bought my first 'bikini' Monday. It isn't really a bikini but it is not as long as a typical tankini. It shows about the lower 1/3 of my tummy, below the belly button. I really like the way I look in the suit. I never thought I would see that day!!
My doggie Hunter is doing great. They removed a 15oz tumor from his groin. It was just a fatty tumor but we were afraid it would impede his mobility. He came home with an inflatable e-collar; which looks like a butt donut. I laughed so hard at him. He looked so cute. I stayed home with him all weekend. His daddy got nurse duty on Monday. We took the butt donut off on Saturday and never put it back on him. He didn't mess with the drain tube or the stitches. I took him yesterday and got the drain tube removed. They said everything looks great, stitches come out on Monday.
In not so good news, I found out my mom has colon cancer. She is usually the most melodramatic person ever, but she is being kind of quiet about this, which worries me even more then if she were playing it up. He goes in tomorrow for a PET scan and has the surgery on June 14. Me and my little sister took her to get our nails done and shopping on Monday. She said she knows it is crazy but ever since they told her she has had a stomach ache. I told her if it were me I would probably rip my guts out knowing there is cancer growing inside me! I am taking of work the afternoon of her surgery. It isn't until 11:30 and is supposed to take 5 hours. She will be in the hospital 5 days. My other sister is being a total bitch about it, acting like my mom did this on purpose for attention. They have several expensive boats and a lake house and she can't be bothered with this stuff. My mom tried to call her yesterday and she wouldn't even answer the phone. Of course she was probably still sleeping off whatever damage she did to herself over the holiday. I won't be surprised if she doesn't call or visit her at all.
In light of everything else, I haven't exercised since the Joplin Half last Saturday. Of course I am also getting my second injection in my knee. Maybe taking it easy until that is over isn't a bad thing? The weather is supposed to be really nice later this week so I will at least get a walk in, even if I don't feel like running yet. I have the Color Run 5K in June (which isn't timed), after that I don't have another run until October, which will either be Kansas City half or the Tulsa Run 15K, maybe both, who knows how my running will be then. I just hate to lose the momentum I have right now.
OK, gotta get my stuff together to go to the doctor. Not looking forward to this AT.ALL
I bought my first 'bikini' Monday. It isn't really a bikini but it is not as long as a typical tankini. It shows about the lower 1/3 of my tummy, below the belly button. I really like the way I look in the suit. I never thought I would see that day!!
My doggie Hunter is doing great. They removed a 15oz tumor from his groin. It was just a fatty tumor but we were afraid it would impede his mobility. He came home with an inflatable e-collar; which looks like a butt donut. I laughed so hard at him. He looked so cute. I stayed home with him all weekend. His daddy got nurse duty on Monday. We took the butt donut off on Saturday and never put it back on him. He didn't mess with the drain tube or the stitches. I took him yesterday and got the drain tube removed. They said everything looks great, stitches come out on Monday.
In not so good news, I found out my mom has colon cancer. She is usually the most melodramatic person ever, but she is being kind of quiet about this, which worries me even more then if she were playing it up. He goes in tomorrow for a PET scan and has the surgery on June 14. Me and my little sister took her to get our nails done and shopping on Monday. She said she knows it is crazy but ever since they told her she has had a stomach ache. I told her if it were me I would probably rip my guts out knowing there is cancer growing inside me! I am taking of work the afternoon of her surgery. It isn't until 11:30 and is supposed to take 5 hours. She will be in the hospital 5 days. My other sister is being a total bitch about it, acting like my mom did this on purpose for attention. They have several expensive boats and a lake house and she can't be bothered with this stuff. My mom tried to call her yesterday and she wouldn't even answer the phone. Of course she was probably still sleeping off whatever damage she did to herself over the holiday. I won't be surprised if she doesn't call or visit her at all.
In light of everything else, I haven't exercised since the Joplin Half last Saturday. Of course I am also getting my second injection in my knee. Maybe taking it easy until that is over isn't a bad thing? The weather is supposed to be really nice later this week so I will at least get a walk in, even if I don't feel like running yet. I have the Color Run 5K in June (which isn't timed), after that I don't have another run until October, which will either be Kansas City half or the Tulsa Run 15K, maybe both, who knows how my running will be then. I just hate to lose the momentum I have right now.
OK, gotta get my stuff together to go to the doctor. Not looking forward to this AT.ALL
Thursday, May 24, 2012
TTT - already
1. I finally met my initial goal weight. The last two days my weight has been 120.4!! I was so freaking happy. I wore a size 0 pants to work yesterday. Granted they were bigger than a typical 0 but still!!! Onward to 118.
2. My sweet little Hunter, my almost 12 year old lab mix, has to have surgery tomorrow to remove a fatty tumor from his groin area. He has problems with his hip and gets acupuncture and monthly adequan shots, which help a lot. Both his regular vet and the Eastern medicine vet think this will help with his mobility but mommy and daddy are a nervous wreck. He will have to have a drain tube in for a few days after so I am going to stay home with him the first couple of days and his daddy will stay with him the next few. He may be a little spoiled.
3. I haven’t worked out once this week. Not once. My knee is still sore from the injection that I got on Monday, it is bruised a little but damn what do you expect from a 3 inch long needle. I am so not looking forward to having this process repeated twice over the next two weeks.
4. It is almost summer, I am probably in the minority but I HATE summer for many reasons.
- bugs
- kids EVERYWHERE – I am not a kid person (sorry)
- I have a heart condition and it is exasperated by the heat. I can’t run outside in it or my heart rate
goes sky high, like 220, in a very short time. Although the doctor’s have said it isn’t dangerous, it isn’t comfortable either.
-I don’t like being hot, but you can’t just wear shorts because if you go inside anywhere it is 4 below.
-summer just makes me feel lazy.
I am sure there is more but I think you get the idea. It is already in the 90’s here and I am miserable. It is going to be another summer of 114 degree days.
5. Despite my grumbling I am in a pretty good mood; much better than last week.
6. I went to the grocery store to stock up on everything since I don’t plan on leaving the house this weekend. I got really light headed so I decided to stop and eat at the Mexican place next door. I got an ala carte enchilada and a margarita (probably didn’t help my light headed feeling but it was $1.49!) and got change back from a $5 bill. I couldn’t finish my food. My wallet sure does love my band even if I do cuss it sometimes.
7. I ordered a board to hold my half marathon medals from this season. If you google lifespeed sports you can see what they look like. Mine is going to hold 6 medals, since I hope to do 2 more this year, and have “half fanatic #2424” on it. It will take 6 weeks so I am a little anxious about that. I am an instant gratification kind of gal.
8. I want a bikini so bad but I am not comfortable with my stomach, it is all saggy. I need to bite the bullet and go to a real store like Dillards and try some on instead of Ross or Marshalls. The bottom part of my stomach is fine so if I can just find a tankini that covers the top part of my stomach I would be happy. I haven’t really been looking for one since I can’t wear a two piece to aqua jogging (it is at Oral Roberts University pool). But, I have season passes for the water park and it will be opening soon. I want to step out of my box a little bit.
9. I left my cell phone at home today and I am about to go nuts. I am going to have to go home at lunch and get it because I can’t handle being without it. Luckily I remembered to put my nano in my purse so I have some music to listen to.
10. I need a book to read. I am not the 50 shades of grey or whatever it is called kind of person. I am more of the psychological thriller kinda gal; like Dean Koontz, Stephen King, Jonathan Kellerman. I can’t seem to find anything new on Amazon or from the digital selections at the library except chick lit…maybe another reason I hate summer. I don’t plan on doing much actual work tomorrow, my goal is to find the perfect book to read over the weekend.
2. My sweet little Hunter, my almost 12 year old lab mix, has to have surgery tomorrow to remove a fatty tumor from his groin area. He has problems with his hip and gets acupuncture and monthly adequan shots, which help a lot. Both his regular vet and the Eastern medicine vet think this will help with his mobility but mommy and daddy are a nervous wreck. He will have to have a drain tube in for a few days after so I am going to stay home with him the first couple of days and his daddy will stay with him the next few. He may be a little spoiled.
3. I haven’t worked out once this week. Not once. My knee is still sore from the injection that I got on Monday, it is bruised a little but damn what do you expect from a 3 inch long needle. I am so not looking forward to having this process repeated twice over the next two weeks.
4. It is almost summer, I am probably in the minority but I HATE summer for many reasons.
- bugs
- kids EVERYWHERE – I am not a kid person (sorry)
- I have a heart condition and it is exasperated by the heat. I can’t run outside in it or my heart rate
goes sky high, like 220, in a very short time. Although the doctor’s have said it isn’t dangerous, it isn’t comfortable either.
-I don’t like being hot, but you can’t just wear shorts because if you go inside anywhere it is 4 below.
-summer just makes me feel lazy.
I am sure there is more but I think you get the idea. It is already in the 90’s here and I am miserable. It is going to be another summer of 114 degree days.
5. Despite my grumbling I am in a pretty good mood; much better than last week.
6. I went to the grocery store to stock up on everything since I don’t plan on leaving the house this weekend. I got really light headed so I decided to stop and eat at the Mexican place next door. I got an ala carte enchilada and a margarita (probably didn’t help my light headed feeling but it was $1.49!) and got change back from a $5 bill. I couldn’t finish my food. My wallet sure does love my band even if I do cuss it sometimes.
7. I ordered a board to hold my half marathon medals from this season. If you google lifespeed sports you can see what they look like. Mine is going to hold 6 medals, since I hope to do 2 more this year, and have “half fanatic #2424” on it. It will take 6 weeks so I am a little anxious about that. I am an instant gratification kind of gal.
8. I want a bikini so bad but I am not comfortable with my stomach, it is all saggy. I need to bite the bullet and go to a real store like Dillards and try some on instead of Ross or Marshalls. The bottom part of my stomach is fine so if I can just find a tankini that covers the top part of my stomach I would be happy. I haven’t really been looking for one since I can’t wear a two piece to aqua jogging (it is at Oral Roberts University pool). But, I have season passes for the water park and it will be opening soon. I want to step out of my box a little bit.
9. I left my cell phone at home today and I am about to go nuts. I am going to have to go home at lunch and get it because I can’t handle being without it. Luckily I remembered to put my nano in my purse so I have some music to listen to.
10. I need a book to read. I am not the 50 shades of grey or whatever it is called kind of person. I am more of the psychological thriller kinda gal; like Dean Koontz, Stephen King, Jonathan Kellerman. I can’t seem to find anything new on Amazon or from the digital selections at the library except chick lit…maybe another reason I hate summer. I don’t plan on doing much actual work tomorrow, my goal is to find the perfect book to read over the weekend.
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
knee pain
Yesterday I had my first for 3 synthetic visceral fluid injections in my knee. I am not going to lie, it hurt. It did go a lot faster then I thought it would though. He injected a numbing medication and I figured he would have to inject that and come back and do the gel injection but he did it all at the same time. I kept having to remind myself not to jerk my knee back. I get to go back and do this again once a week for 2 more weeks. Good times. My knee hurts worse now then it did before I went in. It feels stiff and kind of like it needs to pop.
I haven't really discussed my weight in awhile. I am still at 122.2. My initial goal weight was 120-125, when I got closer to that weight I changed it to 118. I am only 5'3" so the doctor had no problem with that. Apparently my body does because I am at my lowest and have been for several weeks. I have gone up with some minor binges but I always come back to 122.2. I wear a size 2/4 so I really can't complain but it would be nice to see something below 120.
Not sure what I am going to do for workouts this week. I am restricted for the next three weeks to low impact, until I get this series of injections done. I could have gone to the pool and aqua jogged yesterday but I was being a big baby. I may just take this week off. I have to be careful though because I will get really depressed after my running season is over. I have a half marathon in October and one in November but it seems so far out. I just need to keep my level of fitness up, 13 miles is so easy now compared to how it used to be, I don't want it to feel hard again. Kind of rough to run in the summer for me though. I hope aqua jogging really helps.
I am having some problems eating. I know I am fine restriction wise because I ate a cupcake two weeks ago, but probably stress and anxiety has got my band tighter then normal. We went to eat last night and I got the little chicken tacos on a corn tortilla. I could barely finish one and they were small. I felt like I was going to be sick for the first time since the cupcake. Looks like it will be a soup day for me. Soup is always safe. I would give my big toe for some Chili's enchillada soup. Probably have to settle for taco bueno soup from drive through though since it is close to work. Some days I wish I could just eat like a normal person, but I would not trade my band for anything.
I haven't really discussed my weight in awhile. I am still at 122.2. My initial goal weight was 120-125, when I got closer to that weight I changed it to 118. I am only 5'3" so the doctor had no problem with that. Apparently my body does because I am at my lowest and have been for several weeks. I have gone up with some minor binges but I always come back to 122.2. I wear a size 2/4 so I really can't complain but it would be nice to see something below 120.
Not sure what I am going to do for workouts this week. I am restricted for the next three weeks to low impact, until I get this series of injections done. I could have gone to the pool and aqua jogged yesterday but I was being a big baby. I may just take this week off. I have to be careful though because I will get really depressed after my running season is over. I have a half marathon in October and one in November but it seems so far out. I just need to keep my level of fitness up, 13 miles is so easy now compared to how it used to be, I don't want it to feel hard again. Kind of rough to run in the summer for me though. I hope aqua jogging really helps.
I am having some problems eating. I know I am fine restriction wise because I ate a cupcake two weeks ago, but probably stress and anxiety has got my band tighter then normal. We went to eat last night and I got the little chicken tacos on a corn tortilla. I could barely finish one and they were small. I felt like I was going to be sick for the first time since the cupcake. Looks like it will be a soup day for me. Soup is always safe. I would give my big toe for some Chili's enchillada soup. Probably have to settle for taco bueno soup from drive through though since it is close to work. Some days I wish I could just eat like a normal person, but I would not trade my band for anything.
Monday, May 21, 2012
Friday, May 18, 2012
Finally Friday!!
So I was playing with my fat/skin roll in the mirror this morning. You know what I'm talking about? Taking the fold of skin and pulling it up tight so I could see what I would look like with a tummy tuck (I should be ashamed I know) and my port sticks out pretty far. I never noticed it until today but you can even see it when I'm not playing tummy tuck. It is kind of strange to see ANYTHING under my skin except cellulite.
The funniest thing happened yesterday, I had given up on my damn fortune that said good things were in store for me. But towards the end of the day I decided to swallow my pride and see where I came in on the 5K I ran Saturday. My garmin said 39:56 and I was happy with that but I knew there wouldn't be a whole lot of people behind me. Well apparently their timing mechanism messed up and had my finish time as 22:23!! It shows me as 2nd in my age group. It is the only time I will ever see my name on top instead of close to the bottom. I should call and tell them I want to pick up my award ;-) It put me in a good mood for the rest of the day.
We are leaving for Joplin some time today, not sure exactly when, the expo doesn't closed until 9 so we don't have to rush around. We have reservation at the OG (Olive Garden) for 8, which is later then I like to eat but I will live. The half starts at 6:30 so hopefully this time tomorrow I will be more then half way to the finish line. This should be the end of my running season, next big run will be the Tulsa Run in October. 3 half marathons, 1 ten miler, 1 10K and 3 5K in 76 days. I hope this last one will be as easy as the second one was.
OK, I need to figure out what is wrong with my ipod nano, it keeps repeating the same song even though I have it on shuffle. That would make for a really aggravating run tomorrow.
Hope you guys have a great weekend.
The funniest thing happened yesterday, I had given up on my damn fortune that said good things were in store for me. But towards the end of the day I decided to swallow my pride and see where I came in on the 5K I ran Saturday. My garmin said 39:56 and I was happy with that but I knew there wouldn't be a whole lot of people behind me. Well apparently their timing mechanism messed up and had my finish time as 22:23!! It shows me as 2nd in my age group. It is the only time I will ever see my name on top instead of close to the bottom. I should call and tell them I want to pick up my award ;-) It put me in a good mood for the rest of the day.
We are leaving for Joplin some time today, not sure exactly when, the expo doesn't closed until 9 so we don't have to rush around. We have reservation at the OG (Olive Garden) for 8, which is later then I like to eat but I will live. The half starts at 6:30 so hopefully this time tomorrow I will be more then half way to the finish line. This should be the end of my running season, next big run will be the Tulsa Run in October. 3 half marathons, 1 ten miler, 1 10K and 3 5K in 76 days. I hope this last one will be as easy as the second one was.
OK, I need to figure out what is wrong with my ipod nano, it keeps repeating the same song even though I have it on shuffle. That would make for a really aggravating run tomorrow.
Hope you guys have a great weekend.
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Ten things
1. After a weekend of binging and getting back up to 126.8, I am back down to 122.2. My original goal was 120 but I changed it to 118. I think my body likes 122 though.
2. I scheduled a fill for Monday, but since I am back down to my lowest weight I don't think he will give it to me. Did I tell you I ate an entire cupcake? I am not sure what I should do.
3. Stress is as good as a fill. I contribute my weight loss to the immense amount of stress and anxiety I am under. I won't go into all of it because I know you all have stress of your own. It is bad enough that I deactivated my Facebook account. I am having serious withdrawls.
4. I woke up with a rash all over my lower back. Not sure what it is from; it could be from the spray tan I got last week, stress, the new tide color catchers I put in my wash, allergies...who knows but I want to go rub my back against a tree like a cat.
5. Would love to take an hour of work but don't think that is possible because of the crap in number 3. I am running the half marathon in Joplin Saturday, we are leaving after work but I need to run a few errands before I go.
6. I am supposed to go aqua jogging with a friend tonight. I really need to be running errands but I know I need the exercise to help me from killing someone. Not sure how the chlorine will affect the rash. Which I guess I need to add to the list of possible causes?
7. I am really anxious about the half on Saturday. It is really hilly and the two girls I am going with say they plan on running it together. I am a lot slower then them and I really don't want to feel like I am slowing them down. The bad thing is there is a 3.5 hour cut off and I am a straight up 3:15 finisher. I am making myself sick just thinking about the things that could go wrong and make me DNF. I need to cut the shit out.
8. Once I finish the Joplin half I will be eligible for half fanatics!! Not that it means much to anyone but me but I am so super excited about it.
9. I wonder if I should go to minor emergency on my lunch break and have them look at my back. Dennis just said he thinks it could be shingles....I had chicken pox twice, it can't be.
10. I got a fortune cookie three months ago that says "Remember three months from this date, good things are in store for you" I am going to keep them to that promise. I need good things after the week I have had!!
2. I scheduled a fill for Monday, but since I am back down to my lowest weight I don't think he will give it to me. Did I tell you I ate an entire cupcake? I am not sure what I should do.
3. Stress is as good as a fill. I contribute my weight loss to the immense amount of stress and anxiety I am under. I won't go into all of it because I know you all have stress of your own. It is bad enough that I deactivated my Facebook account. I am having serious withdrawls.
4. I woke up with a rash all over my lower back. Not sure what it is from; it could be from the spray tan I got last week, stress, the new tide color catchers I put in my wash, allergies...who knows but I want to go rub my back against a tree like a cat.
5. Would love to take an hour of work but don't think that is possible because of the crap in number 3. I am running the half marathon in Joplin Saturday, we are leaving after work but I need to run a few errands before I go.
6. I am supposed to go aqua jogging with a friend tonight. I really need to be running errands but I know I need the exercise to help me from killing someone. Not sure how the chlorine will affect the rash. Which I guess I need to add to the list of possible causes?
7. I am really anxious about the half on Saturday. It is really hilly and the two girls I am going with say they plan on running it together. I am a lot slower then them and I really don't want to feel like I am slowing them down. The bad thing is there is a 3.5 hour cut off and I am a straight up 3:15 finisher. I am making myself sick just thinking about the things that could go wrong and make me DNF. I need to cut the shit out.
8. Once I finish the Joplin half I will be eligible for half fanatics!! Not that it means much to anyone but me but I am so super excited about it.
9. I wonder if I should go to minor emergency on my lunch break and have them look at my back. Dennis just said he thinks it could be shingles....I had chicken pox twice, it can't be.
10. I got a fortune cookie three months ago that says "Remember three months from this date, good things are in store for you" I am going to keep them to that promise. I need good things after the week I have had!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)