Family Drama

 

Things are a mess right now. Heather moving back has stirred up a whole Pandora’s box. I’m not surprised, but Dennis is appalled.

On Wednesday, I called Dennis from work to check on the kids, and he didn’t answer—not a big deal. He texted me later, asking if I was at lunch. I told him I was heading to my car to relax by myself and that I’d call him when I got there. Cue the meltdown.

Apparently, my mom had called him earlier, asking if he wanted any of my dad’s tools. She said he needed to pick them up ASAP because my brother-in-law was planning to take the rest. For context, my dad was an incredible woodworker. He even gutted and rebuilt their kitchen while going through his final chemo treatments, crafting beautiful, custom cabinets. He owned some high-end tools that Dennis has repeatedly told my mom he’d like to have.

Fast forward five years, and those tools have just been sitting there. Suddenly, they need to be cleared out within 48 hours to make room for Heather’s stuff. Dennis was furious—not just at the short notice but also because he wasn’t the first person my mom called. None of this surprised me, though. That’s just how my mom is—very self-centered.

Dennis tried to tell her she needed to protect herself, as he’s convinced Heather will take advantage of her and never leave. Her response? She just wants someone there in case she falls or something. Again, it’s about what she wants. I’d already warned Dennis that my mom shuts down when she doesn’t want to hear something. Still, his main concern is the house. He’s worried that if something happens to my mom, Heather will try to take it.

My mom has told us there’s a notarized quitclaim deed dividing the house equally among the three of us in her desk drawer in the spare bedroom. I’ve even told my sisters and my mom that if no one else wants the house, I’ll buy it and rent out my current place. But Dennis thinks Heather will find the deed and destroy it, forge a new one, or manipulate my mom into signing the house over. 

By Friday, Dennis was still fixated on it. I told him this really isn’t his issue, but I didn’t mind listening—up to a point. He even brought home a fire safe, insisting I take it to my mom for the deed. When I mentioned it to her, she just acted annoyed.

Dennis also wanted me to organize a family meeting, so I brought it up to my older sister, Barbie. We’re meeting for dinner tomorrow to discuss it. Dennis didn’t love the idea of meeting in public—he can’t hear well in noisy places—but I reminded him it’s an immediate family matter, and he doesn’t need to be involved unless necessary.

Honestly, none of this matters because my mom will do whatever she wants. This is the same woman who once told us that if she could do it all over again, she wouldn’t have had kids. When we brought it up, she hit us with the classic “I guess I’m just a terrible mother” guilt trip.

On Friday, I told Dennis to vent all he wanted while I drove home from work because I wasn’t going to let this drama ruin my weekend. To his credit, he respected that boundary.

On Thursday, I took sick leave because Dennis had an appointment for a back ablation. I didn’t want to drive to the office for just half a day, then come home and drive back to that part of town again. Instead, I ran a few errands in the morning and then took him in. This wasn’t his first ablation—it’s usually a pretty straightforward, in-and-out procedure. They give you a pager, and I wait in my car until they’re done, which typically takes about an hour.

When the pager went off, I drove to the pickup area, but Dennis texted me saying something didn’t feel right. I parked the car and went inside to check on him. By the time I got there, they’d already brought him outside. I explained to the techs what Dennis had said and let them know I wasn’t leaving until he felt better. They were very understanding and took us back in.

Dennis was struggling to move around, and the doctor came over to explain that Dennis had been so tense (big surprise there) that they’d had to give him extra sedatives to avoid breaking the needle. Everything went fine, but the tension likely made the procedure a lot more painful than usual. We stayed there for another 30 minutes, and they gave him a sugary snack, which helped him regain some color. He didn’t remember much after texting me.

When we finally got home, I put him to bed. I’d planned to take him out to eat afterward, but that obviously didn’t happen. Since I hadn’t eaten yet either, I went out and got a chicken Florentine pizza, and let me tell you, I was so hungry I ate it in the car on the way home. It was so good.

On Friday, I went into the office with the intention of sneaking out at noon to work from home in the afternoon. But AP was there, which threw a wrench into my plans. She’s rarely in on Fridays, so I suspect she was checking up on me since I’m usually the only one there that day. I hate being alone with her.

I had a Botox appointment at 11:30, so I told her I’d be leaving for that, and she didn’t say much. At the appointment, the nurse practitioner told me about a new laser treatment they’re offering. It sounded tempting, but after my last experience with one, I’m not sure I want to go through the pain and swelling again. They’re doing a Black Friday special, so I told her I’d think about it.

Saturday, I skipped going to my mom’s house. She assumed it was because of Dennis’s procedure, but really, I just needed a break from her. I went to Costco, the Dillard’s outlet, and Old Navy. Surprisingly, I didn’t spend as much at Costco as I usually do. I didn’t find what I wanted at Dillard’s but scored a few pairs of clearance workout pants at Old Navy. Not a bad outing overall.

Later, I realized I needed new shoes for jazz class, so I stopped by Ross to see if they had any Reeboks. I’ve danced in Reeboks before and really liked them. I found a pair in the kids’ section that I absolutely loved, so I grabbed them. It turned out to be a nice, relaxing day.

Sunday, I met up with HMF for lunch and to see Mrs. Doubtfire with our season tickets. Lunch was...interesting. I don't remember if I said anything but A, stole money from her wallet to buy three gummies from a girl at school. He took all three at once and ended up in the ER. He got a week of in-home suspension and 40 days of in-school suspension, but that could be reduced if he takes some drug education classes. He should be back to regular classes after Thanksgiving.  He ratted on the kids that sold the gummy so there is some concern about bulling.

She told me they’ve put him in Christian counseling, which surprised me since her husband, like me, is agnostic. She thinks this whole ordeal might have been a wake-up call for A. They had a good conversation, and their relationship has been improving. She even showed him photos of his birth parents and explained how the “fog” he felt after taking the gummies was similar to how they lived their lives, which kept them from making good decisions. A’s abandonment issues clearly play a big role here, and rightly so.

At one point, she mentioned that A had backtalked her, and she told him it was Satan trying to break down their relationship. I swear, I think she could hear my eyeroll. If it works for her, fine, but I just can’t with that. Especially considering all the nonsense happening in Oklahoma schools right now. (If you haven’t heard, Google it.) Sometimes, I wish I had a kid like me—someone who would buck the system and start a Satanic Temple club. There’s a great documentary about it from before the pandemic. I should order one of their shirts to wear around here. But I digress.

As for the show, it was fine. Funny in parts, but the main characters were pretty boring. The brother and his husband stole the show, in my opinion. Next up is Les Mis. Neither of us are excited about it since we’re not fans of sung-through musicals (Hamilton is the one exception). But it’s a classic, so I’m keeping an open mind. We’ll see how it goes.

Yesterday was really rainy, so I decided to work from home. For some reason, I woke up at 3:30 AM and couldn’t fall back asleep. I stayed in bed for about an hour, but eventually, I gave up and got up. I briefly thought about going into the office since I was already awake, but AP is out this week and would have been in yesterday morning. That was enough reason for me to pass on the idea.

By the time I logged off for the day, I was so sleepy. I told Dennis I was just going to nap on the couch, but he convinced me to get comfortable and lie down in bed instead. I had a few hours before I needed to leave for dance class, so I did just that.

Well, I ended up waking up at 5:35 PM. There was no way I could make it to jazz class—it’s about a 15-minute drive under normal conditions, but with the rain and rush hour traffic, I would’ve been late. Plus, I still needed to change. I hate missing it because I had so much fun last week.

I didn’t get to wear my shoes ☹️

Technically, I could’ve made it to tap class at 6:45, but it’s just not as enjoyable as jazz. I’m not sure if I’ll go back to tap. I wish the class times were better spaced—jazz at 6 and tap at 6:45 doesn’t leave much flexibility. I might see about showing up to tap 15 minutes late, but I’ll need to build my stamina back up before I try something like that.

Check in

I'll go ahead and address the orange, embarrassing predator in the WH.  I am obviously not thrilled.  I am on of those "overreacting" people who thinks this is a going to be a disaster for years to come.  I am not in a good place with this and I feel personally attacked and that people are more closeted misogynistic, sexist, and that I have been giving people way too much credit.  I have way too many friends that are going to be effected by this that it makes me scared and angry.  I will not watch the news or anything on network tv because hearing or seeing it enrages me.  I mean there might be a woman miscarrying in the ER that would be saved by a simple medical procedure but hey at least we can afford eggs.  I am in the stage of my life that I can cut a person off and not look back.  

We went over 2 months without a drop of rain, now it won't stop raining.  We got 7 inches in one day.  Last Monday they predicted really bad weather so the acting Chief sent to work from home at noon.  It rained like hell but it didn't get particularly bad here.  There were some tornados around but they didn't get to close to us.  I don't think they were very strong either.

With the weather I was a little worried that they would cancel dance.  Since jazz is at 6 and tap at 6:45 it kind of had to be one or the other.  I decided to go with tap.  It was fun but not like it used to be.  Tap isn't intuitive and if you don't use it, it will go away!  The new studio is really nice.  The tap room is small and needs a fan or two to keep some air moving, but it was nice to not have to roll out the protective cover for the floors.  But, it wasn't as fun as it used to be.  I decided this week I would do jazz instead and I had so much stupid fun!  There is a new teacher and she taught musical theater style!  It was the most fun I have had in a long time.  I had some of my old dance friends there and we just had a blast.  The teacher was a broadway dancer in her passed life and it was just so great.  I may go to the jazz class and join the tap class 15 minutes late since I am obviously warmed up.  I will have to check with the teacher and see if it's ok.  The only issue with the class on Monday is someone brought kids and she let them dance.  The studio is adults only and kids did what kids do and got in the way, doing cartwheels and shit during class.  I don't think the owner will let that happen again.  I am going to try and go tonight to my friend Shana's class.

My cousin made it in last week.  I picked her up from the airport, stopped and picked up pizza and took it to my mom's house.  I told her if she waiting until Friday to leave I would go with her.  Of course she couldn't wait, she had to leave.  Well jokes on her because they closed down I-40 in NM.  She stayed the night in the truck in Amarillo and went the long way around the blizzard.  She was supposed to meet movers at her storage building in Vegas on Friday but didn't make it until Saturday.  I just checked her location on my phone and she is still in San Diego.  I am absolutely thrilled I didn't have to go but she has to get the fucking truck back because I know my mom is paying for it.  I am not sure they know I know.  Tomorrow will be one week and if she doesn't leave today I am going to have a few words with her about taking advantage of her.  I know she is trying to get it all moved by herself but she hired people to help her in Vegas so.... It's a 20+ hour drive so tick tock.

I took off work Friday for my birthday.  Dennis came in with flowers.  We went to the new outlet mall and walked around in the pouring rain.  Neither of us care about getting wet and it made for a very quiet shopping experience.  We mostly just walked around and talked.  It was a really good day.  I talked to my mom several times throughout the day and she never mentioned my birthday so neither did I.  Finally about 10 she sent me one of her stupid mass good night messaged (in case she dies in her sleep) and I called her and asked her if she forgot my birthday.  She, of course did.  I am not one to make a huge fuss for them but that hurt.  I am not sure if she is just getting forgetful (she remembered my older sister, her favorites birthday the week before) or she just really takes me for granted that much.  Sunday I met my sister for lunch and I told her she could bring mom so she didn't have to suffer alone.  We went to the place that I like and you could tell my mom was a little put out.  She said she didn't feel good and her stomach was messed up.  She ate soup because she didn't want to get anything heavy and proceeded to demolish the bread bowl and the chocolate cake they brought out for me.  The entire time we were there she watched the Life 360 app for my cousin.  

I was off work on Monday for Veteran's day but didn't do much.  I did a Target run.  I know I did something else but I can't remember what it was.

Yesterday I WFH for 2 hours but took off to get my hair done.  We always have a good time.  We discussed comfort shows and books. She is always a good ego boost for me.  My friend Linda who lives in Dallas had to come in from more of her in-law drama (someone burned down 2 of the houses her mother in law owned) so we met up and went to an early dinner/happy hour.  I hadn't seen her in a year or so and it was nice to catch up in person.  We need to get together and plan the trip to see & Juliet in January.  Brooke and I both  want to go to MeowWolf and we thought about trying to catch a Stars game but it doesn't look like they will be home that weekend.  I am sure we will find plenty of trouble to get into.  The only issue we might run into is that Brooke and I are very much alike and want to hang out in deep ellum, Linda is more of a soccer mom type and thinks it too dangerous to hang out at.  It doesn't help that last time Linda and I went there to shop at our shoe store we pulled into a parking lot and there was a grown woman with her whole ass titty hanging  out of her shirt.  We parked and someone tried to get us to give him cash to park when there was a sign that said pay through the app.  She was done before we even got out of the car, I was laughing my ass off.  Whatever, majority rules, right?

They don't know it yet but I am going to call in tomorrow.  Dennis has an ablation on his back that afternoon and I think I am just going to take the whole day instead of having to come all the way in to the office and back.   

King of the Hill

 After much discussion with the therapist and a lot of oh shit moments, I finally broke down and let the doctor put me on Ritalin.  I always think of a King of the Hill episode where they put Bobby on ADHD meds and he is sitting at the kitchen table and says "there's some milk in fridge that's about to go bad.  And there it goes."  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Qan_JC9FG8

I don't expect ESP but it would be nice to be able to actually sit down and read a book again.  Or finish a load of laundry, or hell, unpack from my trip 2 weeks ago 😬

Yesterday was my first full day on it and I couldn't tell if I was just more aware of getting stuff done or if it actually worked.  Today I am not in the mood to do much of anything, mostly because it is so loud here in the office and I can't concentrate.  I have a Halloween themed podcast on but it still isn't drowning the crap out.  ETA - I ended up pulling up a work project that I have had for a few months that is kind of ongoing and almost got it finished without the threat of a deadline.

Heather is supposed to be here next week.  I will go get her at the airport so my mom doesn't have to drive after dark.  One of the things that made me talk to the doctor about meds is a really fucked up with her plane tickets.  I made the reservations for her and she wanted to change it.  Not really a problem because we booked on Southwest where you can move it around.  By the time she asked me to change it the tickets were and additional $160.  I was pissed because she was just kind of expecting it.  I finally caved to buy the ticket with the stipulation I wouldn't be riding/driving with her to San Diego.  Well in my haste I bought the tickets for the wrong day and ended up losing all that money I had spent on tickets.  Somehow Heather found a way to buy her own ticket.  She gave me access to her account and she had enough points to get a one way ticket, which added to the above frustration.  

I started the above yesterday but got busy and didn't finish it.

A few of us dressed up for work.  It was kind of fun.  I wish there were more occasions to wear costumes!  

The dreaded AP

Yesterday was my monthly therapy visit.  She is one of the reasons.  She is excited to see how the new meds work.  She has said more than once that she thinks a lot of my depression is anxiety related, and the anxiety ADD related.  She thinks this is really going to be a good step for me.  So much has happened in the month since I last saw her that it felt like I hadn't been there in a long time.  She made an appointment for next month but told me if I don't feel like I need it and the medication is starting to make me feel more in control to cancel it and we will go on an as needed basis.  I really hope this is that magic pill.  I do feel more clear headed, not gonna lie.  She also thinks with Heather coming in that will take some of the stress with my mom off of me.  It could, but it could backfire as well. 

There are some aspects of the Heather drama that might create issues too.  She will not have a car when she gets here.  I have 2 cars and Dennis has 2 cars and his dad's truck.  I know my mom is going to pressure me into letting Heather take/drive Kermit and tbh I have no issue with that but I want her to pay the insurance if she does, it's only like $100/6 months.  Dennis on the other hand is firmly against it.  The car is at his house because he has more room and a vacant lot that has a pad on it.  If I let Heather drive my car it will start WWIII at my house.  Not sure why that is the hill Dennis is going to die on but it is.  He says once I let her use the car I will never get it back, but he has it now and I am not getting it back.  There are lots of examples he gives about his family and them expecting the owner of the car to do all the work on the car even if they aren't using it and paying the registration/insurance, it getting towed and left in impound.  I mean I get it but it is my car.  It isn't like my mom's car leaves the garage unless she has to run an errand close to her house or I'm driving it. Her car is a 2017 and barely has 50K miles on it.  That part will be interesting.  

Next week they are doing a big re-grand opening at the dance studio.  They built 2 new studios and they are opening Monday.  I haven't been in a long time but I plan on going back I think.  I do miss it.  I kind of stopped going because I felt like the owner started to take advantage of my willingness to help out.  I can't remember when it happened but they had a party and she called and asked me to help buy stuff for it.  I had been out for awhile for some reason, not sure if it was because I was sick or if it was work related, but she never checked up on me until she needed something from me.  That kind of left a bad taste in my mouth and I started pulling away.  It didn't help that we had to start going back to the office and my social battery was drained.  Add to that the classes that I liked were moved to after 7 pm and I was just out.  Plus the changed the price structure without the option of grandfathering in the OGs.  I was doing unlimited classes for a set price and she changed it to where you had to pay per class and I would have to pay per class, making it cost prohibitive to do that.  I have gone back a few times but nothing consistent.  The new floors means more classes and better times.  There is now a jazz class at 6 and a tap at 6:45 on Monday.  I would like to do both but I think I will go with tap if I had to chose.  I am better at that.  The tap shoes I have were a touch too big and that made some of the more intermediate moves more difficult so I think I will go across the street to the dance store and get a new pair of tap shoes, that way I am committed.  They have a broadway jazz class but it is during the day.  I am so onboard with that though.  If they would move it to evenings I would go back.  I loved the musical theater class so much!  I miss my dance friends.  I still talk to Shana but I used to see her like 3 times a week and now I see her once every few months.  

I've started putting in for jobs again.  I worked on my resume and had Brooke look it over for her thoughts.  I had my midpoint review last week and since our supervisor left and the boss has been out after having a major stroke, they have been filling the positions with temps.  Once the boss gets back and has some time to adjust they will advertise and fill the position permanently.  Because of this they let AP do the input on our comments.  Granted it's just midpoint but I walked out livid.  She wasn't in the office when I went over them, just the temp supervisor but after she had me read the comments I told her that if AP gets the permanent position I will retire early because I will not deal that that level of petty bullshit on a daily basis.  Her comments were along the lines of 'does a great job, however, she should strive to reply all on emails as discussed with her lead because it causes confusion of others (her) on if the email has been answered and always completes time, leave, and off-site input ahead of schedule but is reminded by her team lead to udate the outlook calendar of telework days and should strive to do better.  Bitch I will update the calendar as soon as she does.  I know she is going out week after next only because I went to sign out the car and saw that she already had it to go to St. Louis.  I have told her this in the passed and she said she can't put her office days on the calendar because then everyone tries to come in on the days she isn't here.  That sounds like an issue you need to address on a different level.  When I was a team lead I had no problems with people coming in.  Hell, I had to shut my office door to keep people from camping out in there.  

Next week will be interesting.  I am over the political crap.  If I get one more text from Kamala Harris I swear I won't vote for her.  That's not true because well, one I already voted and two I would never vote for the orange foreskin.  I did an absentee ballot when I wasn't sure if I would be back so I got that done awhile ago. I get so much stuff from our Mayor race because the current guy isn't running again.  One in particular loves the attack ads.  The election is pretty much all my mom talks about to the point if she brings it up I tell her I won't talk about it.  She needs to stop watching that crap.  It's like every conversation starts with I saw on youtube...  I told her the thing about youtube is you can say what you want without a single fact check.  You can also deep fake videos to make it look like anyone is saying pretty much whatever you want them to say.  I am not 100% on board with the media can't be trusted because that's some 1930's propaganda stuff, however, there are multiple ways to fact check and verify information.  My mom is just too lazy to do that and just wants me to tell her what is true.  I am getting an eye twitch just typing about it.

OK, my boss is coming in, the one that had the stroke and I want to go check on him and see if he needs any help.  This is his first week back since May.  He is only allowed to be back 2 days a week.  He is still having some issues with his leg, got a little snoop dog crip walk going, and his speech is pretty slow and deliberate.  We both started on the same day at the same lake so I feel a little protective over him.  

Home again

 I am on the struggle bus today.  I enjoyed the heck out of USVI despite working.  I will for sure go back and vacation, Dennis would love it.  I would 100% pick it over Hawaii. The last two weeks have both gone by super fast and at a glacial pace.  We would be talking about something that happened that morning and if felt like it was a week ago.  

As said in the previous posts, Florida remains a shithole.  Despite that, I am thinking about putting in for a job in the Jacksonville District.  It is a Realty Specialist job, fully remote.  I am a little concerned that it could turn into a hybrid or worse but since it is advertised as such I am not sure how difficult that would be to convert.  I hate writing resumes but I need to get on it, the job closes soon.  

Last week turned out to be great.  They demobilized us on Saturday and told us to give the FEMA people who needed to get back to NC a chance to get flights off the island before we attempted to make plans. By that time we had to push our departure date to Monday.  That gave us Sunday to 'finish up'.  I asked if I could just not log time and go enjoy the island and was told to keep it on the DL.  Me and a coworker took a snorkel charter to St. John Honeymoon Beach and another island that sounded like Las Bambas but I couldn't be sure.  The water was a perfect 87 degrees, I could have stayed in all day.  The first stop had tons of turtles, a sting ray and a reef shark!  My mask was leaking so I had to go back to the boat to get another one and if I hadn't done that I wouldn't have seen the shark.  No one else saw it so I'm not sure they believed me, lol.  After the first stop they opened the bar and we had a couple of painkillers.  They are not my favorite but they were 'free' so I managed.  I think the nutmeg they put on the top was a little off putting to me.  The second snorkel stop had a lot more reefs and we saw another stingray and a nurse shark.  I wish they had a photographer like the charter in Maui because all I got was a crappy video from another snorkeler that is not great.  However, it did capture the nurse shark.   

I am so sad about leaving all the cats behind.  Little twin was hanging out on my patio regularly, mama cat was pretty close by too but she was a lot more skittish than Spooky and the twins.  The kitten was pretty feral but I think I could have gotten him tame if I had another week.  He started coming up to my patio door but ran off when I opened the door.  He hid under the bushes on the other side of the sidewalk so I made sure and put food out for him there.  Bob and Grey Goose were in more common areas and I know they got fed from people as they walked up to their rooms.  FYI I didn't name the last two, the golf cart driver that drove us around the property told me their names.  I am really sad about getting them used to eating at my door and just abandoning them.  I hope the next person in my room is nice to them.  

Monday was an incredibly long day.  The girl I have been working with and I were on the same flight out of STT so we rode in my Jeep to the car return/airport.  Our flight was supposed to leave at 1150 but they asked if we would move to the 1045.  We were like, sure.  So they asked us how much we weighed and weighed all of our luggage 😱 After swimming at an island that sounded like la bamba I wasn't sure that would be a great thing.  It was a tiny 9 passenger Cessna 402.  The seat next to the pilot was a passenger seat.  It was a little concerning.  When we landed I looked them up though and they have a great record. Only one crash and it only had the pilot in it.  He had to open the window to get any air and give hand signals of some kind, they started one prop and it sputtered and just kind of stopped so he had to start it again. I was like dude, what about the other one?  Eventually they got them both started and it was interesting.  The islands looked beautiful and you could see the reefs from the air.  It was a 40 minute flight as opposed to the 25 minute flight we had on the way over in a slightly larger aircraft.  It added to the experience.  Once we got to the San Juan airport we stopped and got lunch.  I was connecting through Houston, she was going out of Chicago.  We were both a little sunburned from the day before and not looking forward to a 5 hour flight.  I was stuck in the middle seat so I sprung for an upgrade and got a window seat.  I took a advil pm and slept about an hour and a half.  The layover in Houston wasn't as long so I grabbed a $20 sandwich that was really bad and I didn't end up eating, and a soda.  The day started at 9 and I ended up getting home close to midnight.  I took Tuesday off and teleworked yesterday.  

I still haven't done any grocery runs so I am scrapping by on what I have in the freezer and fast food for now.  I need to go Sunday and get stocked up.  We are still number one on the rotation if we get another disaster but FJ was supposed to be up next the last time but passed so he wouldn't miss halloween (stupid excuse if you ask me) so if it happens after 1 November he has first choice.  Something tells me he didn't enjoy his deployment as much as I enjoy mine so he might not go back.  Either way it adds a layer of the unknown for me.

Now that I am back it looks like I am going to have to suck it up and help my cousin move after all.  I don't want to but I don't want her to have to drive back and forth to SD in a moving truck by herself either.  I would really like it if I could just pay to have her moved but that is $4K I just don't have to throw away.  My old body is going to be screaming for a break by the time the holiday comes around and my 2 weeks off I have planned to burn up my use or lose.  

Last night Dennis went to a meeting at the fire station and called me in a panic.  He didn't get much out because I heard a tiny little mew in the background.  I just asked him where he was and told him to hold on I had to get dressed cause I had just gotten out of the shower.  It was after 8 pm so our options were limited.  It was such a tiny baby!  Dennis said he almost ran over it.  I wrapped it up in a shirt and he went to look for mama cat or other kittens but didn't find anything.  The poor baby was starving and tried to nurse on the towel, my ear, my lip, my shirt, you name it.  I obviously didn't have anything to feed her so I suggested we take her to my friends urgent care that stays open until 10.  If nothing else they would have someway to help us feed her.  We got her in and she was scream mewing at this point.  A young couple came out of a room because they knew it was a tiny kitten.  They almost ripped that little thing out of my hands and asked if they could take it. The clinic staff said they were good pet owners so we handed her over to them.  We tried to get her to eat something but she wasn't interested until they gave her some left over mac and cheese so her name is Roni.  My friend wasn't working but the one that was said she would hook them up with what they needed to get her fed. She was just the cutest little thing, all velcro claws and tiny teeth.  I just hope she was the only baby and we don't find more when it's too late. 

OK.  I need to get my travel voucher done so I can get my card paid.  

Bigger and better

Well, Florida remains one of the worst states I have ever had the misfortune of visiting.  I had a decent time when I went for a meeting and added a day to go to epcot but that was the week before my dad died so I don’t count that.  New Jersey beats it as the top (or bottom) contender. Just a real armpit of a state.

 

Milton was a big bust as far as emergency management goes.  Good for them, sucks for us.  I got there Wednesday and we were demobilized Sunday and flew home.  While we were getting on the plane we got a message from our green suiter not to unpack because it looked like we might be turning right back around.  Sure enough Monday we got the call that we needed to book flights to the Virgin Islands asap.  I was on a plan at 7 the next morning.  So far I love it here.  I am having a little anxiety driving on the left side of the road, a lot of anxiety when it’s dark.  The roads are narrow and steep and the on-coming led headlights make it terrible to see.  I had a little bit of a melt down yesterday when I was blinded by lights as I was going down the mountain.  I know muscle memory is going to have me swerve right into traffic.  Not that going to the ‘shoulder’ is much of a better option as it is just the side of the mountain.  We made it safely, but my heart was in my throat. 

 

Back to the Florida mess.  We flew into Pensacola, our staging area was in a town, aptly named Milton, and we stayed in Destin.  The drive to the airfield took an hour so we had to leave at 0600 and didn’t get back until 8:30pm and it made the day excruciating.  Not to mention we were staged at the generator storage yard so there was only a mobile command trailer and nowhere to wait except in fold out chairs or cars.  We just sat around and went over procedures waiting for the storm to come.  The hotel was a terrible budget Hilton with a 4 inch foam pad as a mattress made for families so it was LOUD.  As you walked in the door to my roo there were bunk beds where the entry should be.  I couldn’t get the tv to turn off on the main bed and was too tired to fuck with it, so I just slept on the bunk bed.  Tuesday afternoon they told us we were going to convoy to Orlando and stage in the Disneyworld parking lot.  However, the amount of money they wanted was astronomical so they wanted to make sure we were needed.  Milton hit the next day and we were in a holding pattern to see what the need was.    We just sat around waiting for the dipshit governor to see if they would request help.  One thing I can say about FL, it is pretty self sufficient when it comes to emergency services.  We got word Friday night we were demobing asap and to start booking flights.  Me and another coworker got flights at 6:40 the next morning.  We would have to leave the hotel by 3:30 but I was ready to get the fuq out of there.  I was home before noon.   Dennis and I stopped for lunch and I went home and cuddled with my baby Olive and Bai.  I didn’t even take my suitcase out of the car. 

 

We got the word about going back out but no word on where so I just kind of chilled.  I did absolutely nothing on Sunday.  It was everything I remembered, lol.  Monday was a holiday so I decided to get a pedicure and massage because my feet and shins were tore up from walking around in steel toed boots all week.  It was amazing.  I had planned on taking Tuesday morning off but we got a text to call in on Monday evening to a call.  We got the word to mobilize asap to St. Thomas!  I got out on a flight at 7 am on Tuesday and landed at 1900.  We are staying at Margaritaville resort, and I have a margarita machine, an ice machine, small kitchen, and a washer and dryer in my room.  I am going to say this is my favorite deployment ever.  It is gorgeous here and much more affordable than Maui.  It is also so stupid hot!  It has rained everyday for about 10 minutes and turns into a sauna.  The water is also warm, unlike Maui. 

 

The storm was supposed to come in today, but the sun is shining, and the humidity is 175%.  I have come to the conclusion that this is an exercise to test out a new team concept.  We are the first of a team that is very scaled down and I think they want to test it out before they have a real life situation.  The storm never developed into a tropical depression, let alone a tropical storm/hurricane.  That’s the theory I am going with anyway.  My duties shifted a little here, I am doing reports at the joint office with fema and other emergency support personnel and they are a little confused as well.  The FEMA guys that are local are not happy with all of us being here in the least.  There are 9 generators on the island to support critical infrastructure and the contractor did a dry run for the hospital.  The generator storage base (GSB) is co occupied by the airport and FEMA guys keep saying we are going to ruin the relationship with the airport by asking them to vacate their portion.  They also couldn’t find the keys for one of the big boy gens and they told the contractor to cut the lock.  They were like nah, you can come out and do that.  They weren’t happy about that either.  It is definitely a vibe.  Island life.

 

We are just kind of sitting around waiting for them to send us home.  I don’t want to go home yet but even if they send us home, I will stay another day.  Flights are scarce so we might be here anyway (fingers crossed).  Tonight, me and the Cpt are going to eat at Margaritaville at the hotel and hang out at the swim up bar. 

 

I have made a few friends at the hotel.  I named the black cat spooky.  We had a little margarita party in my room the other night and invited him in to join but he noped out.  Most of the cats are very friendly except for a mama cat and her kitten.  I want to take them all home with me.  At least they are tipped so looks like they have a community cat program.

 

So we wait for them to tell us what to do.  It could be so much worse.  At least I am in a relatively a/c’ed office and not at the GSB this time!

Here we blow again

 Well, plans have changed thanks to impending hurricane Milton.  I got a call about 3:30 asking me if I would be ready to fly out tomorrow.  It is technically my co-workers 'turn' to go, however, they put me on the power team, which is the response team that goes out in advance of the storm in a safe location but close enough that we can head out to the hard hit areas as soon as the storm is over.  We will be coordinating and looking after the power mission, as the name implies.  Co-worker isn't on the team so I'm not sure he would have been asked anyway.  However, he told me Friday that he can't go because he can't miss his daughters last halloween at home.  That is the stupidest thing I have every heard.  I was prepared to be deployed for Christmas last year. Plus, since we are going out in advance, we could very well be heading back by the weekend.  The last few years he won't go anywhere if he has to fly.  He is a very large guy, maybe large enough hat he would have to buy 2 seats.  The government won't do that and he is too cheap.  My gain, so I'm cool with it.  We had a call at 5:30 and we won't be leaving until Tuesday.  After 2 hours on the phone with the coordination calls and travel agent I am all booked to leave at 6 am Tuesday to be in Pensacola before 11, hopefully before the storm backs everything up.  I am supposed to have a 4 wheel drive rented.  Fingers crossed they don't jack that up.  

That being said the plan for moving Heather back had to change.  My cousin that was going to help won't drive by herself.  I don't understand why, but I guess I am just used to it.  So, Heather is flying to Tulsa, renting the truck and driving to SD to load her stuff and back to Tulsa.  Probably would have been the best plan anyway, less intrusive on everyone.  I hope she finds someone to drive with her.  It wouldn't bother me to drive alone, I would almost prefer it since awkward conversation with someone for 20 + hours isn't on my top ten list.  I would much rather listen to podcasts and playlists.  I kind of like spending time alone.  I cancelled my flight back from SD for credit so I have some money for my next trip and maybe I will get lucky and get some major hotel points and get a cheap broadway trip next year.  

My friend Linda is going to be in town from Dallas tomorrow.  She is the one that had the big issue with her MIL getting robbed blind by the daughter, who went to jail for a short time but is now on probation and is supposed to be paying restitution, but I digress.  The house they were all living in was uninhabitable so they moved MIL into a senior facility in Dallas.  They got a call that the house was vandalized so she is coming in to meet the insurance adjuster.  She hoped they will pay to just level it.  I hope I get enough done to meet her for a quick dinner tomorrow.  I have a ton to do, obviously.  

I got a lot of running around done the last 2 days.  I went and took my mom to lunch.  We went to a new place in Sapulpa, the town she lives in, Il Gusto.  It's Italian and I didn't have high hopes for small town eyetalian IYKYK.  But, I was really surprised!  

Chicken Cremora

I was pleasantly surprised with the quality.  It was made fresh and way better than most chain places.  My mom asked me how I found out about it and I told her that I am on a food review group.  Before I left she had already added herself to it so I can no longer post anything on it.  I had posted asking if anyone knew where you could get a burger like the one I got in NC and my mom saw it and started asking me about it.  So if I post anything and she sees it she will call and ask a thousand questions.  She already let me know that the dish I got look horrible because of all the mushrooms.  I told her that I didn't know I liked vegetables until I was in my 20's because she doesn't like them and what we got was canned.  Hard pass on canned veggies but fresh broiled, grilled, sautéed, I'm all for it.  

Mom didn't want to stay out long.  I had to take a pair of Gap jeans back that I ordered online.  I ordered a 25 thinking it was a 2, but I guess a 26 is a 2.  Sized confuse me sometimes.  If a 30 is a 10, 28 an 8 , you I thought 25 would be a 4, nope, it's a 0.  None of it makes sense.  I did get them taken back and got new ones in my size ordered.  I also went to Madewell and bought a really nice pair of jeans there.  Not sure if I am going to take them to FL, as they were $$$ and I don't want them to get ruined in mud and crap.  I have cheap Old Navy and Gap jeans and some light weight cargos that will

 be plenty 

From there I went to Costco and picked up a few things I needed.  I have a bunch of bootleg broadway shows on my google drive and I need to figure out how to transfer to get them downloaded on the external hard drive I bought.  I will probably play around with it tomorrow.  I am probably going to work from home for the first part of the day and go in and get stuff from our emergency management office that needs to go out.  Surely I can get away with that.  I think I have a pretty nice collection that none of you would be the least bit interested of, but if you think of any, let me know, I might have it.  

As I was dropping stuff off at home Dennis called and said his mom feel and asked me to come help her.  Before I go too far down the road he called back and said she was up and ok.  I have asked how she was going today but I bet she is sore.  

Today I got up and went to Sam's, with I hardly ever to.  They expanded there premade food selections.  I got some grilled chicken breast and some of those pinwheel sandwiches.  I hate that we are flying,  I like to take an ice chest It would be nice to take those pinwheel's with to snack on.  Who knows what the food condition is going to be.  

Well this will be short.  I'm getting laundry so  I can get packing.

Spooky season

Today didn't start out well.  I woke up and knew I had to get gas on my way to the office but I hit the snooze anyway.  In my mind I was thinking I would just telework but I realized it is Tuesday and there is a high likelihood that AP will telework today.  So after I stopped for gas I was 15 minutes late.  Turns out I made the right decision because AP did in fact telework.  I unloaded my laptop, plugged it into the docking station and realized I had taken the USB thing out for the keyboard/mouse.  There is one other person in the branch today so I told her what was going on and if I couldn't find an old corded keyboard and mouse I was going back home to work.  As luck would have it there was a spare keyboard and a mouse in the deep corner of the file room.  So I am on a shitty keyboard and a mouse with serious lag but I'm still here for now.  What a great start to the day.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                

I was able to get some time with my nail tech friend and get my official haloween nails done, so it is officially spooky season!  She has me scheduled for my next appointment already because she has an idea for another design she wants to try.  It's win/win for me.  Cute (relatively) inexpensive nails and a few hours of gossip and trash tv.  Plus, when she does my nails from her house I get to see her big Bear dog and give him some love.  The salon she works at does 60/40 commission so as much as I hate her doing my nails on her day off, I like to see her get the full amount instead of 40%.  How insane is that?!

Yesterday was a WFH day and Dennis called me just a little after 7.  He took Bai for a walk and they saw a kitty friend that belongs to a neighbor and he wanted me to run some treats over.  I grabbed a bag and drove around the corner.  As we were talking to Ms. Cally, a black and white puppy comes running out from behind the garbage can.  She looks to be under a year old.  Once she arrived the cat ceased to exist for me.  I fed her the entire bag of cat treats.  The owner of the house and cat came out to take out his trash and the little baby rushed at him and nipped him.  This tells me she has been out there for a little bit and feels the need to resource guard.  I really wanted to take her home but I didn't.  Dennis said something later about it and I told him that if I let him drag every cat in the hood home he can't say a word about me wanting to take care of a stray puppy.  I saw her posted on the neighborhood facebook asking if anyone knew who she belonged to.  Someone said it might be his neighbors so I am waiting to see if she is claimed  I might have already named her (Dahlia, Dally for short because Outsiders) but I really hope she does have or find a better home because I would love to be able to travel with Dennis one of these days.  He told me he would take treats and look for her on this morning's walk.

I had a therapy appointment yesterday and she commented that I seem to be in a much better space.  I told her that things are pretty calm, relatively speaking and that there were a few tense situations at home in which Dennis stayed calm and rational.  He realized that I was getting really anxious in anticipation of his energy and he told me that he was fine.  In one instance he lost something and that normally means the world comes to a stop while he tears through things.  He told me that I should go to QT or Sonic and get a soda or fill up my Owala with good ice and he would find it.  He later said that he knew I thought he was going to get irrationally (my words not his) angry but he was fine and that the medication the doctor put him on seemed to really be working.  I have noticed that he doesn't obsess over his family issues lately so all good signs.  Therapist asked if he ever apologized for his outburst when I was sick and I said no.  She asked if I felt like things were normal and I said no, it is going to take a long time for me to fully trust that he isn't going to twist off for no reason again.  She said she was kind of glad to hear that.

We also talked about my cousin Heather and the move.  I told her that will probably be the next fight Dennis and I have because he thinks we baby her and she is in her 30's.  Well, she is practically my little sister so yeah, she's spoiled.  He also wants to know what she is going to do for a job when she gets here because being a photographer isn't really a job you can make a living at.  I told him, and my therapist that right now I don't care and that I am going about it from a selfish perspective because she will be able and willing to help out with my mom.  Therapist said that is absolutely understandable.  Dennis said she is taking advantage of me and my mom.  Well, I have more positives than negatives in the pro con list so I am all for it.  I was miffed that she hadn't called me or told me any solid plans and I didn't even have dates to tell work about.  Heather said she can't talk at home because she is afraid her mom is listening in on everything.  I was like, take a fucking walk, do something to help me out a bit!  At any rate, we will see if fireworks are emanant and the talk with therapist helped me to see that I am not completely selfish for wanting her to move back.

After talking to therapist I sent Heather a message and told her that I needed to talk to her, not FB message and come up with some solid plans.  She called me and we talked for about 15 minutes and I got more information than I had gotten in the month or so we have been talking about it.  The other family member who is going to help move has already asked of work for the week of 21 October (first I heard of this).  They were wanting me to take a rented truck and pull a trailer to get all of her stuff.  I was like first of all you should have told me the details a lot earlier, second not only no but hell no.  I am not pulling a trailer all the way to SD up and down the mountains and through the insane traffic.  She has a storage building in Vegas, where she used to live and she wanted us to go get the stuff from there as well.  I told her it doesn't make sense to take stuff from storage in one place and move into storage into another.  Why doesn't she wait until she has a place of her own to put the stuff.  She complained that it was costing her $250 a month in storage.  I wanted to throttle her because she has no money, living with her mom in a one bedroom apartment with no car and instead of selling the stuff and buying new when she needed it she has been paying the fees.  I get that she paid $7K for her bedroom furniture but come on. Plus, she is going to have to pay that in storage fees here too.  I don't get it.

Not only have I fell off the diet wagon, I dragged it into the woods set fire to it and used the insurance money to buy cupcakes.  For some reason I have been really craving chocolate lately, just plain milk chocolate hershey bar type.  As luck would have it, with Halloween it is really easy to just fall into that trap.  I bought a jumbo bag last week and it is gone.  I had serious withdrawals yesterday but I refused to buy more.  This morning, since I had to get gas I ran in to get a drink and sure enough there they were on the counter 2/$3 calling my name.  I have decided that if I am going to fall into the trap I am going to buy a package of full sized bars and get one a day instead of the snack size where I just tear through them with reckless abandon.  Dennis ate some of them but it was mostly me.  At least I have really cut back on soda since I found an emotional support water bottle.  Funny how finding a bottle you really like makes such a difference.  I am going to stop, I have to if I don't want to buy a completely new wardrobe.  As if that wasn't bad enough I have had a serious spending surge.  It was to the point that I was like fuck it, I might as well die poor.  I bought a cheap laptop since my work computer is so locked down.  I can use my ipad but the storage on it is crap and it isn't easy to use an external drive on.  Plus if I have to fill out forms ie taxes and stuff, I want an actual laptop, not just the tablet.  I have 1TB cloud storage as a part of the deal and when the black friday deals hit I will find an external hard drive to store stuff on and use that as the memory instead of the internal storage because it doesn't have much either.  I like my ipad and my iphone but when it comes to computers, I am not a mac person.  It's like learning a whole new language.  I think some stores are starting to cut some prices to make way for Christmas stuff too because I came across some major deals over the weekend.  I spent way too much but I told myself I was putting the stuff up for Christmas presents.  We will see if it lasts that long before I use it or give it to someone because I am horrible at holding on to stuff.  I can't shop early.  I also came across the cutest retro 60's style dress at a sample sell for a great price.  So, what did I do?  I bought a pair of Fluevogs to go with it 🙈 Not like I am going to have to take a pretty last minute trip to San Diego or anything. 

OK, I gotta get back at it.  ✌