I’m so damn tired of living in “unprecedented times.” Like, genuinely exhausted. If I could click my heels together and teleport to a new timeline, I would—because this one? This one sucks ass.
I do still have a job, at least for now, but who knows how long that’ll last. Everyone keeps saying DoD is “safe,” but let’s be honest—no one who works for the federal government should be feeling secure right now. And being in natural resources? Just makes the target on my back a little bigger. So yeah, no high-dollar purchases happening over here. I saw this coming and voiced my concerns, but apparently, I was just “overreacting.”
I’m not gonna dwell, but man—it’s hard not to think about this stuff constantly. My therapist told me that most people can go to work and mentally “turn it off.” Must be nice. Meanwhile, I’m just sitting here waiting for the next ominous email to drop.
I’ve been limiting my time online, so I’ve been pretty out of touch with all your lives. I miss catching up. But I figured out a way to blog using my reMarkable tablet—it lets me handwrite, convert to text, and copy/paste. It’s a little 101, but also kinda therapeutic.
Nothing major has really been happening because I basically shut down once I get home from the office (which I go to five freaking days a week). My stubborn streak has actually helped—I’ve been refusing to eat out for lunch, and I guess that means I’m not boosting the economy… but hey, my diet might’ve improved? Lots of car sandwiches, though.
I also signed up for the exercise hour at work and have been hitting the trail twice a week. Okay, full transparency: last Friday was super windy and I just sat in my car in the parking lot. But the sun was out, and it felt good to be anywhere but “here.”
There’s a possible deployment to Louisiana on the table, but it’s being held up by AP, who’s got a project sitting in her court. Been there for a while now, so I’m betting it won’t happen. Brooke is already down there and said it’s miserable—literally just standing around while contractors clear debris. Someone on her team got chewed out for sitting. Sounds like a loooong 12-hour shift. The money’s nice, sure, but sometimes it’s just not worth it.
The week after I got back from Pittsburgh, my sister Laura had a scary health episode. She sent our mom a text saying she needed to go to the ER—no other info. I knew it was serious if she was contacting Mom. Mom hasn’t driven at night in years but was on her way out the door, so I told her to go home and let me take care of it. I live closer, I’m a night driver, and, let’s be real—I drive like a bat out of hell.
When I got there, Laura was outside in sunglasses and a hat, saying it was the second-worst headache of her life. I got her to the ER, dropped her off, parked, and made sure they knew she had a history of a ruptured brain aneurysm and has a coil. They took her back quickly, around 8:15 PM. She was back there for hours, came out to the waiting room around 2:00 AM, and then Mom called to say Heather would bring her and switch off. I was supposed to go to a co-worker’s funeral that morning, but I didn’t. We finally got Laura into a room around 6 AM, and after all that… it was the flu. I get it—they had to rule stuff out—but why not run a flu test up front? Anyway, I’m glad she went in. People die from the flu, and she needed care. I got Tamiflu from my doc, and luckily didn’t get sick.
On Saturday, HMF and I went to see a regional production of The Play That Goes Wrong. We needed that escape. A has been totally out of control. HMF told me he went ballistic in a parking lot—screaming, breaking the car door handle, pounding on windows, calling her names. It was scary. The clinic staff separated them, and when she left, they asked if she felt safe getting in a car with him. He got his permit the next day and expected her to let him drive. When she said no? Another fit. Lord have mercy.
The play was actually better than I expected for regional theater. The people behind us almost made me snap—they were mansplaining everything—but one guy had a ridiculous laugh that somehow added to the comedy. At least I got to laugh a little.
My focus has been all over the place. Some days I’m shockingly productive, and the next I’m in a complete funk. My dryer broke, Dennis fixed it, and I took that moment to finally sort through old bins of clothes. Sizes 0 through 18. Found a few things that fit—win! I’ve got two lawn bags in my car ready to donate, and more to wash. I’m planning to buy a portable rack and stick it in the garage to keep them cat-hair free. Some bins just need to be recycled—those clothes are way beyond saving. I hate contributing to the landfill though.
Tomorrow, I’m going to a retirement seminar. Word is they might offer another round of early-outs, and I’d be eligible even without the age. But let’s be real—I probably can’t afford it. I want to pull my TSP and let a private firm manage it because there are few things in this world I trust less than the assholes in charge. I haven’t even looked at my account because I know it’ll make me sick. Now that I’m about five years out from wanting to dip… of course the economy nosedives.
It’s an all-day thing, so at least I won’t be in the office. And I’m taking Friday off to get my hair done. Small wins.
Anyway, that’s it for now. I’m spent.
I don’t know how people can mentally “turn it off” when things are so heavy on your mind. Sometimes I can tune out, but never off.
ReplyDeleteI’m glad your sis is okay. How scary but I wouldn’t ignore a horrible headache with her history either.
Our community has an “Absolute Free Market” that I just volunteered at last month. People donate their gently used items and it’s like a giant flea market but everything is free. Furniture, housewares, toys and games, clothes and shoes, etc. Their original intention was to keep things out of the landfill. Mission accomplished. Everything left at the end of the day goes to a thrift shop since it’s all sellable items. There wasn’t much left. They do it twice a year. It’s hugely successful and I think other communities would benefit from organizing such an event.
Just keep on keepin' on is about the only thing I can say. I deleted the rest of my mini rant but the TL;DR version is f- anyone who voted for Trump, preferably in the ass and without lube. Anyone who believes anything that grifter is selling is about as stupid as they come. But let me tell you how I really feel! Hahahahaha
ReplyDeleteHope the retirement thing works out. It's always good to have options even if you don't use them.
I was happy for the good news as well. I really thought it was a lot worse than it is because of how he's been but I guess it's just that medication.
ReplyDeleteI'm not super handy around the house but I try to be slow and methodical and I kind of anal about having the right tool for the job. The apartment is 30 years old and with the water that we apparently have everything it touches corrodes. Honestly, without YouTube I wouldn't have been able to complete either project.
I've been weaning myself from Amazon by buying books at a real book store and everything else at local stores and chains. The only reason I ordered the caulk was because it was supposed to arrive this morning and I'm tired of driving back and forth to the home centers.
I wish I knew why they cost so much. The lenses are Rodenstock, which are made here, Zeiss being the other. If I buy the exact same thing in the U.S. or elsewhere it's about half what it is here. Everything medical is more expensive here than elsewhere in Europe including prescriptions. Of course those are cheaper here than in the U.S. so I guess it's all relative.
ReplyDeleteImpeachment number 3 won't lead anywhere, at least not unless 2/3 of the Senate agrees. Try getting 20 GOP senators to vote against Orange Julius. All of this investigation talk is just that, talk. Unless or until there is a mutiny in the GOP he's going to have carte blanche to do whatever the f- he wants, legal or not.
G. lived alone just over 2 years by the time we met and another 2.5 before she moved up here. I don't think it's that. I think it's a general reluctance or aversion on her part to "get close" to anyone. Not sure why that is.
She started HRT in January, so she's 3 months in if she's still taking it. Not sure that it's made much of a difference. She has a tendency to start stuff and then not continue it. I know she used the first container she got but I don't know that she's gone for a refill. That said, her insurance works different from mine. I need to get a paper prescription every time. Hers was filled electronically at the pharmacy in January.
Ima tell ya, how such a sweet, loving cat like Dion should face such a miserable, painful end and shit stains like Payless Putin and the South African Super Dork are still walking on two legs really makes me question things.
ReplyDeleteAnd thank you. Being a furr parent is not for the faint of heart.
DeleteSorry about that. It is and was truly heartbreaking to watch. He was my best friend for 15 years. Now I'm starting to get my dander up over his vet's office. I sent them an email on Sunday evening announcing his death and asking that they inform the three doctors who treated him. I went to this practice from 2002 to 2004 with my Sydney and since 2010 with Dion and Garbo. No reply. Not even a "we're so sorry". Nothing. We were there no fewer than 6 times over the last 2 weeks and all of the assistants knew Dion and fawned over him. Radio silence.
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