Thursday, August 15, 2024




Day 3 started out strong.  We were only a few blocks from the park so we stopped and had a quick breakfast and off to Broadway in Bryant Park we went.  It was so freaking hot.  I ended up going through my water pretty quick and went to get another and found a stand that sold umbrellas and I jumped at that. Best $20 I spent all day.  We were out there for about 2.5 hours.  It was unbelievably hot.  The poor performer's!  About the time we left I made the comment that I forgot to take my Zyrtec that morning and my throat was starting to get scratchy.  Famous last words.  Did I mention it was hot?

From Bryant Park we went to the Highline and checked out the Vessel.  It doesn't look as impressive in pictures but it is beautiful.  Entrance to the structure is closed because there were a lot of suicides from the upper level.  They are putting railings up, hopefully it won't impact the appearance too much.  We got there for the end of the individual women's gymnastics comp.  They had a screen set up right at the base of the Vessel and it was, again, so much fun to watch that way, we got to watch Simone get that gold.  I think I liked watching at the vessel more than RC.  But something about that area just drew me in.  

It was getting late afternoon and there is a mall right at the base of the structure so we decided to go in and visit the facilities and see about getting a late lunch.  We ended up at Shake Shack.  Not sure if we were starving or if it was really that good.  It is so much better than In and Out.  I have never gotten the appeal of that place.  We have Whataburger that I would take over I&O though, just not that impressed.  But I digress.  

HMF wanted to check out the portal, which is a live feed set up with another portal in Dublin.  At one point they shut it down because people suck and they were doing questionable stuff for the other side to witness.  It is still open but the hours are pretty short so we didn't get to interact with it.  I was dragging, I thought I had gotten too much sun and heat so I was ready to go back to the hotel and get a quick shower before show night number 2.  Since we ate late we weren't going to eat before.  

Show number 2, Water for Elephants was OK.  Grant Gustin is the male lead and his voice was amazing.  There were acrobats and puppets, and a few circus tricks.  It was a spectacle but not particularly memorable.  I was so cold.  Again, thinking I had just gotten too hot and my body was trying to regulate the temperature.  We got drinks and I maybe drank a few sips but I didn't even want it once I got it but you get souvenir sippy cups so there is that.   




setting up the stage at Bryant Park

Empire State Building in the background

a year later and I remembered what the cast of & Juliet looked like.  I told the girl behind me in line for a drink, "I think that's Romeo"

The Outsiders (understudies)

my new Fluevog bucket hat

The Vessel, I thought it was stunning

Olympic watch party take 2.  I'm aware I look a little like a thumb tack


My reflection in the Vessel

How neat was this view!

 

More Vessel pictures
The portal to Dublin, which was offline.  bummer


Water For Elephants



Day 4 was a short day.  We got up a little earlier than we had been.  We started at the 9/11 museum.  I told HMF before we went in that I tend to wonder at museums and get in my own head so we might want to plan a meeting spot.  Plus, the museum is somber and it isn't appropriate, in my opinion to be calling and trying to meet up.  No sooner had I said that, I looked up and she was nowhere to be found.  Oh well.  I found an exhibit hall I had no idea existed and it was huge.  I wondered around there for a long time.  I am not overly emotional but towards the end I had to leave because I was about to lose it.  I held it together until we went to the gift shop and saw the dogs of 9/11 stuff.  

I still hadn't official seen the statue of liberty.  I am fine with that.  I had a great view when I flew in the first time.  We had planned on going then but it was so rainy we didn't go.  I was too sick to want to go and fight crowds so HMF decided to do the one world observatory so we could at least see it.  It was kind of a neat way to end the visit because you have such a great almost 360 view.  When I go to NYC I am primarily there to see Broadway and I did that.

There is a Times Square tourist trap called RiseNY that is close to the hotel, we had to go back and get our bags and catch a ride and since it was close we decided to check it out.  They have a ride like Soarin' at Disney.  It was over priced but fun up until the end when we caught up to a middle school field trip.  They ended up letting us ride the ride twice because they felt bad.  The ride was a blast.  We decided to see if Ellen's Stardust Diner was busy to catch lunch, it is staffed by singing waitstaff and I had read a lot about it.  They don't take reservations and wait times can me LLLOOOOONNNNG.  But we caught it just right and got right in.  The food was not good, entertainment was awesome.

From there we went to the hotel, got our luggage and headed to the airport.  There is a little spa at there and we decided to get a foot and leg massage.  I was miserable and thought it might help.  I guess it kind of did but not long after the massage was over I got a text that our flight was delayed.  We looked outside and there was a torrential downpour.  I knew that wasn't a good sign at all.  As expected, all the flights were cancelled.  At this point I was on the verge of tears.  Rational thought was out the window.  My sister sent me the AA 800 number and I called to get flights changed.  HMF was going to start a new job on that Monday so the priority was to get her home.  I got her a flight out at 2:30 the next afternoon out of JFK instead of LGA, which was a lucky find.  They found me one out of JFK but it was flying into OKC, which is about an hour and a half from home so I booked that.  Under different circumstances I would have told HMF to leave and I would have stayed the weekend and saw more shows but that was not an option.  Unsure what they would do with the luggage, we stayed around.  They did end up offloading the bags so it was probably a good thing we stayed.  I was miserable and HMF wasn't helping, she just kept telling me that it was anxiety.  Bish I don't get travel anxiety (one of the few types I DON'T get).  The good news was I got in touch with another AA rep who was able to get me a flight to Tulsa.  I kept saying I am getting sick and she blew it off.  She asked me if I was going to be extra about a hotel.  I asked her what she considered extra?  I am fine with clean and safe.  Turns out the hotel she found was neither.  She went through hotel.com, which I am not a huge fan of to begin with.  I think we got our bags close to 10 pm, our flight was supposed to leave at 8:30 so we almost would have been home.  We got a cab to the grossest place ever.  We walked in and the lobby reeked of pot smoke.  The lobby desk was covered in bulletproof glass.  I held it together until we got to the room and it smelled so bad of cigarette smoke.  I refused to put my luggage on the couch or bed and sat on the wood coffee table until I finally had a breakdown and said I can't stay here.  I said I don't care what a  hotel costs, I would pay it.  I could not stay in that room.  HMF was pissed.  She slung her luggage around and didn't say anything to me.  I told her that although I didn't feel safe there or leaving her there by herself she was welcome to stay but I was out.  I got an uber to a hotel in Brooklyn off the line that runs to JFK.  When we left HMF flung the keys at the front desk.  Well, come to find out they asked for her DL to make a copy of (yeah they had to run it through the copy machine) and she forgot to take it out.  I was so over it at that point I had not a single fuck to give.  I paid for the uber, I paid for the hotel and I slept hard after taking a silkwood shower. 



Ellis Island and Statue of Liberty
on my death bed at the one world observatory
The last subway ride

Looking out at the observatory
RiseNY, Village People

Hamilton costume
Friend's couch

and we are staying an extra day



HMF's flight left at 2:00, mine wasn't until 5 but I had planned on getting a ride together but apparently while I slept she talked to the hotel and they had her driver's license.  She made an underhanded comment about how much the ride was going to cost to get the DL and back to JFK but I didn't throw a fit, she did so that's on her.  She made arrangements to leave at 10:30 to get all that done and I slept in with a late checkout.  There was a CVS a block from the hotel so I walked over and got some Nyquel and a thermometer just to see how bad it was.  I had almost 101 degree fever.  HMF sent me a text that she made it to the airport and I sent her a picture of the thermometer.  She commented back that they don't send kids home from school until they have 101.2.  I said great, please tell my body that I am not sick enough to go home.

Despite all of that my flight home was pretty unremarkable.  HMF got stuck in Charlotte.  She was supposed to be home around 10ish but they had issues and her connection didn't even leave until after I had landed.  When I got to the car I just collapsed in tears.  I found a home covid test and took that and I have never seen a test that positive almost instantly.   By Sunday I was running over 104 fever, zero stars.  The funny thing is I was convinced I wanted to move to NYC, or at least stay for an extended time but once I got sick the thought of walking to the subway to get a ride to the doctor was more than I could handle so looks like I'm gonna be in OK a little longer, lol

I didn't ask for a penny for either of the hotel stays and I haven't gotten an offer of any money towards that or the Outsiders tickets.  It's now worth fighting over and I will take it as a lesson to just go by myself next time as the reason I wanted her to go was to split the hotel costs.  I really had doubts after the last night if our friendship would survive but we are fine now.  We ended up going to see the touring version of Moulin Rouge on Sunday and had a good time.  We did decide to renew our season tickets to make sure we get guaranteed ticket options for the Outsiders tour.  I called and got that renewed Monday.  When she didn't venmo me the money by Tuesday evening I sent her a venmo request.  She made the comment that she wanted to make sure it went through because she can't afford to send it twice.  Ya don't say, imagine if you would have  paid the $450 you owe me for the hotel!  Again, lesson learned.  

And now back to my regularly scheduled life.  I took a week off sick.  I WFH on Monday and made it through so I went in on Tuesday.  It wore me out but I made it.  I am back in the office today and will do my normal make an appearance and dip thing tomorrow.

Dennis called me yesterday and talked for a long time.  We ended up going to lunch and talking.  Things aren't good but they are, I guess.  He hasn't heard back from the doctor.  I have mychart and check it for test results but I guess he doesn't have it.  I told him to maybe call them this afternoon.  He took Bai to the vet to get his shots.  I hate taking him because he is so reactive, (Bai, not Dennis).  But he did ok.  Britney, the girl who took care of him while he was quarantined was there and I think that made it a little easier. 

Not sure what the future holds but I do know that I have one foot out the door and I think he is starting to realize that as well.  I go see my therapist on Monday, I am sure he won't go but the offer is still there.  He still needs to see someone but that is a him problem that I can't fix.  

OK, I have a meeting.  I have been writing this for like 3 days, lol.  

Monday, August 12, 2024

Day 1 and 2 recap




So I used some AA points and upgraded my seat to first class.  Started off the day with a mimosa.  We got to NYC early, about 11 am so our room wasn't ready.  We were able to drop our bags and go in search of lunch.  We knew gymnastics was that day so we looked in the car and found a few watch party locations.  We stayed about a block from Rockefeller Center so we started there and got there just in time to see Simone Biles do her second vault.  We got a table at a restaurant there where we could see the screen and watched the competition.  It was an incredible way to watch.  Our first official stop was at the Roosevelt Island Tramway.  It was neat.  I had no idea it was a thing until a few months ago.  It was so stupid hot and I hadn't gotten to unpack anything so we stopped at a drugstore and got sunscreen so as not to pull a Jay.  This was pre-subway so we walked MILES.  

We got back to the hotel, changed shoes and decided to split an app and a margarita at Hard Rock, get A a t-shirt.  I do like HR nachos and I am kind of afraid to admit that in public.  The final stop for the day was Top of the Rock.  I liked it so much better than Empire State.  I told HMF that I was game for anything so she bought us tickets to the beam.  I am pretty afraid of heights but I was pretty proud of myself for not freaking out too bad.  I really didn't think it was going to be a big deal until the beam rose up and you could see over the plexiglass, well I assume you could if your eyes were open.   Glad I did it, won't do it again.  We had a busy day so we went back to the hotel, I took a quick shower and fell asleep with my glasses on.
started out the day with a mimosa

Olympic watch party at Rockefeller Center

The best caprese panini




obligatory Hard Rock trip

HMF at Top of the Rock




We saw the same sunset

When HMF bought 'the beam' experience tickets I had no idea what it was

I had bruises on my legs from the death grip

I told her the next time the hammer wasn't going to be a prop


I loved this sweatshirt so much we had to make a special trip back


Day 2 was probably one of the best days.  We decided we were going to figure out the subway.  HMF travels to Chicago a lot and uses the one there.  I have only been my myself and it doesn't have the same rep as NYC's system so I have skipped it.  We figured what a better place to start than Grand Central Station.  We actually made our way to SoHo with zero issues and it opened up a whole 'nother love for the city.  HMF wanted to go to the Converse flagship store.  You can design your own shoes so we spent a few hours designing them but they would have to be shipped.  From there we went to my happy place, the Fluevog store.  When I walked in the fluevologist (the official term) asked me what I was looking for.  I told her I was there to play Cinderella and she 100% understood the assignment.  I think she brought out every shoe in my size.  I had the time of my life.  HMF even found a pair she ordered.  I could feel her start to suck the energy out of the room about half way through the excursion and so I wrapped it up, bought 2 pair and a bucket hat and we went to Little Italy to grab a quick slice of pizza.  She made the comment that they just didn't seem too interested in helping her.  I admittedly was a little self absorbed but I didn't see it.  Plus they look up my name and they see ALL THE SHOES.  I am an easy mark.
 

first subway trip originating from GCS

figuring out where to start is always the hardest part

Design your own Converse in SOHO

My happy place

We headed back to the hotel but we still had a little time before our dinner reservations so we decided to hit up Saks Fifth Avenue.  I went in with no intentions of trying anything on, let alone buying.  HMF talked me into trying on ↓ this dress.  I felt like a princess.  I spent way too much on a dress I will probably never wear.  The clerk got the few things I wanted to try on and put them in a room with my name.  HMF found a few items to try on and got but hurt because the associate asked if it was ok if she just put her stuff in the room next to mine.  I guess she was supposed to get her 411 too?  I told her she was taking it way too personally and not to act like our moms (harsh I know) and she snapped out of it.  Not without a final dig when the associate said that she just loved my energy and she thought I would be a blast to hang out with (I'm a goddamn delight), she had to make sure she was only saying that because I was spending money.  Whatever man, I know I know I'm cool.
princess dress and new Vogs please ignore the hat hair

Quick shower for me, can't remember Patti's phrase SFP?  And off to dinner.  We just happened to be there for restaurant week and we got amazing food.  HMF got a chicken and potato dish that I thought she was going to make little potato babies with.  
Taking another new pair to see the show

Pre show dinner

You know your from Tulsa when you can smell this picture
We got there a little early and had to stand in line to get in.  The show was everything I had hoped it would be.  I was a little disappointed that one of the leads that was nominated for a Tony wasn't in but the understudy was still amazing.  Am I thinking about going back next month in conjunction with a work trip?  maybe.

Finally made it

I can hardly believe it

at the stage

playbill pic

Brody Grant walking down the isle to his place on the tire pre-show

He sits on the tire for about 10 minutes writing in his book

The final scene is at the dinner table and those hungry boys chow down

Sorry for all the pictures.  It was an amazing couple of days.  I started crying about 3 songs in to the second act.  I spared you the post show cry make-up.

After the show we went back to Times Square to make the one pound custom peanut butter cup.  It was a long day so we went back to the hotel where the fire alarm managed to malfunction until after midnight.  At that point I told HMF to just let me die.

Days 3 and 4 and the unplanned day 5 were not as picture perfect.  More on that in the next recap.

On to the present day crap.  I still haven't seen D.  We have texted and talked on the phone once but that's it.  He sent me a text this morning that he was at his doctor's office.  I guess that is a little progress.  I am going to the office tomorrow so I will text him and tell him if he wants to come by and see the kids it would be a good time.  I am still not sure how I feel about the situation but if he is willing to try so am.  Baby steps, I guess. 

Friday, August 9, 2024

Facing reality

 So I have been MIA lately because I have had a lot going on that I haven’t really been ready to talk about. Life hasn’t been sunshine and roses in a very long time with D and I have finally drawn the proverbial line in the sand. 

Before I left for my NYC trip, recap to come, we had a serious talk and I told him that I have been really working hard with my body and self esteem issues and I really needed him to step up and get help with me. What I didn’t say was that we have grown stagnant and have been nothing more than roommates for years. Doesn’t mean I don’t love him, or that it couldn’t change, but it is on life support. His anger issues are worse than they have been in years and I have taken the brunt of it and life is too short to tiptoe around adult temper tantrums. I know I am not completely innocent but the last 2 major blow ups were caused by my work computer charge cord not working and me posting that I have covid on facebook. Completely irrational and disproportionate reactions. The last blow up while I am running 105 fever.  You don’t do that to someone you care about. 

I talked to my therapist over the phone and I sent him the following message 

My next appointment with the therapist is Monday August 19 at 2:30. I would really like it if you would meet me there to discuss things, not as a counseling session, more of a neutral space to discuss things. I wanted to give you some time to think about it.

I haven’t heard back. Regardless there are logistical nightmares to work through. 

I need a nap.