Reality

 Ugh, I lost my personal cell phone and I am about to go insane looking for it.  I went ahead and filed an insurance claim just in case, $200 for a replacement but if I do find it before I get the new one I can cancel the order.  I guess I didn’t set up the find my when I got the replacement phone because it isn’t showing up, the battery is dead so my watch won’t ping.  I have used a tile for years and it shows it’s in my house but since the phone is dead that isn’t helping either.  UGH.  

Snot production has gone down considerably, finally. My eyes are still itchy and I am still snotty, just not as bad.  I no longer hear myself echo.  Looking back it’s hard to believe this time last year I really thought I was going to die.  It seems like I am sick this time every year but at least this year I am not in the hospital.  I would almost choose the hospital over the office though.  I am not at all happy about going back there tomorrow.

I was feeling better on Thursday so I called Brooke and asked if she had anything planned the next day, if not we should meet half way in Fort Smith and hang out.  We almost changed our minds about Fort Smith and go to Bentonville instead but she would have had to leave at 7:30.  I figured it doesn’t really matter because we would probably meet up for lunch/drinks and just walk around no matter where we went.  We both underestimated how small of a town Fort Smith is.  We originally agreed on a brewery but it was in the middle of nowhere (5 miles outside of downtown) and closed until noon.  We parked her car at the mall and found a Latin place, Ronando’s, that turned out to be pretty good.  We both got a margarita flight and ate chips and queso and lingered over lunch.  They weren’t busy so we didn’t feel too bad about hogging a table.  She just got back from deployment and we hadn’t really seen each other in over a year.  She dropped a few bombs on me, some of which I knew a little bit about but didn’t know the details.  I know she has been considering separating with her husband and I have been supportive of whatever decision she makes.  However, turns out she been wilding while she was gone and making really bad decisions.  There were apps involved and some dude who she met up with that ‘just clicked’ with her.  I told her before she started that she knows I am a skeptic and believe that 99.9% of the things stranger who are trying to get laid will tell her are just trying to manipulate you.  Of course this was different and they talk about everything and he checks up on her, blah, blah blah.  I know my eyes were rolling right out my head.  Turns out ole dude is not only married but has 3 kids, the youngest of which is 4.  This is where my bitch came out.  I told her that I get blowing up your life, hell let him blow up his but those kids don’t deserve it. He texted her several times while we were out and she thought it was so sweet, I thought it was manipulative and controlling.  At one point we were walking around and she stopped to send a text and I kind of low key went off and said that if the roles were reversed and I was talking to some guy who kept sending texts while we were hanging what she would think keeping in mind she saw him 2 weeks ago and hasn’t seen me in a year?  She showed me the last message she sent him and the response and it was a snap of a picture of both of us doing a stupid pose and he made a comment about blah blah, you 2 gorgeous women blah blah.  Cue eye roll.  I just can’t with that.  At one point she said that he told her he was afraid he was a terrible dad and I told her that he absolutely was a terrible dad.  She looked at me like I slapped her and I said he is teaching his 4 year old daughter how to be treated and it is bullshit.  At the end of the day, they are both adults and they are going to do whatever they want.  I am nothing if not loyal and I told her if she went home and went stabby on her family I would show up to prison and ask her what they did to deserve it but to leave this shit alone and let it go unless she was ready to break 3 young kids hearts and lives apart.  Believe it or not there is a lot more to the story and more layers but I advised her to just walk away now.  Will she take my advise, no.  I feel like I need to go see my therapist to make sure I wasn’t too harsh.  

Despite the heavy conversation, we had a lot of fun.  

She had found a cider that she thought I would like so after hours of shopping we went in search of a place that had it on tap.  The tap room was about an hour away so we didn’t think it would be hard to find but dear lord that town.  We started at the world’s smallest brewery, it turned out to be a satellite of a bigger place in Bentonville so it didn’t have much and very little in the way of liquor even.  Brooke got a stout and they gave us the name of another place to try.  Neither one of us could figure out where it was so we found another place called Prohibition that looked neat.  It was not.  They had even less than the last place.  The place we were looking for initially turned out to be in a warehouse a block away so we just walked over there.  The website said they had Black Apple Cider so we walked over there.  Did they have it? Nope.  I didn’t want a mixed drink because I was going to have to drive 2 hours home so I settled on a green apple sour with a caramel rim.  It sounded sweeter than it was and I liked it a lot more than I thought I would.  

Saturday was the last warmer day we were going to have in awhile so I set out to stock up on a few groceries.  Heather called and was in town doing a shoot so I met up with her for lunch.  That girl is a whole mess.  Between her food allergies and whatever food she is avoiding (currently chicken and anything in plastic) for…reasons? she is impossible to go eat with.  I suggested the food hall, Mother Road Market and she found exactly one place she could eat at.  She tried to tell me what her issue was with chicken but I just looked her in the eye and dipped my chicken tender in comeback sauce and took a bite.  I guess her networking is paying off because one of the shop owners recognized her and invited her to a vendor event for the wedding industry.  Right now we are in the middle of looking for a haunted looking place to take Halloween type pictures.  It’s almost too late to do any kind of valentine shoots.  I told her she should do a galentine event with a group of girls but I’m not the right kind of person to help with marketing so I don’t know if it would actually be something anyone would actually do.  I have tons of gorgeous 20 something friends who would be amazing models but she kind of needs one that are willing to pay, lol.

After a late lunch I went to the grocery store and guess what I found, Black Apple cider in cans, hibiscus flavor.  I kind of had to buy it but I am not a drinker and rarely, like maybe once a year or so, will drink at home, if that.   It will probably sit in my fridge for ever and I will throw it out when I need room but I kind of had to get it for research.

This week it is back to work.  It was so stupid cold today so I WFH and caught up on email.  I have to go in tomorrow and I am not looking forward to the alarm.  I have a meeting with the people at the zoo for the ranger workshop next month and a branch hostage situation that afternoon.  My plan is to wfh again on Wednesday I think we are off on Thursday because of JC’s day of mourning but I haven’t seen anything official.  We were off for Reagan and Bush so I would think it would be the same.  It is looking like it may snow Thursday evening and if that happens they will shut the city down and I will have an exude to do an extra wfh day.  Going back is always bad.  I didn’t look at jobs today but every job I have put in for so far I have either not made the list or not gotten on the interview list, which is bullshit.  I am pretty sure I will die where I am.  FML

I asked ChatGPT to give me a motto for the new year it gave me - 

“Stride boldly into the new year - grounded in adventure, sparkling with creativity, and fueled by the joy of connection.  

There is a reason I don’t do that shit, what a load of crap, lol.