King of the Hill

 After much discussion with the therapist and a lot of oh shit moments, I finally broke down and let the doctor put me on Ritalin.  I always think of a King of the Hill episode where they put Bobby on ADHD meds and he is sitting at the kitchen table and says "there's some milk in fridge that's about to go bad.  And there it goes."  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Qan_JC9FG8

I don't expect ESP but it would be nice to be able to actually sit down and read a book again.  Or finish a load of laundry, or hell, unpack from my trip 2 weeks ago 😬

Yesterday was my first full day on it and I couldn't tell if I was just more aware of getting stuff done or if it actually worked.  Today I am not in the mood to do much of anything, mostly because it is so loud here in the office and I can't concentrate.  I have a Halloween themed podcast on but it still isn't drowning the crap out.  ETA - I ended up pulling up a work project that I have had for a few months that is kind of ongoing and almost got it finished without the threat of a deadline.

Heather is supposed to be here next week.  I will go get her at the airport so my mom doesn't have to drive after dark.  One of the things that made me talk to the doctor about meds is a really fucked up with her plane tickets.  I made the reservations for her and she wanted to change it.  Not really a problem because we booked on Southwest where you can move it around.  By the time she asked me to change it the tickets were and additional $160.  I was pissed because she was just kind of expecting it.  I finally caved to buy the ticket with the stipulation I wouldn't be riding/driving with her to San Diego.  Well in my haste I bought the tickets for the wrong day and ended up losing all that money I had spent on tickets.  Somehow Heather found a way to buy her own ticket.  She gave me access to her account and she had enough points to get a one way ticket, which added to the above frustration.  

I started the above yesterday but got busy and didn't finish it.

A few of us dressed up for work.  It was kind of fun.  I wish there were more occasions to wear costumes!  

The dreaded AP

Yesterday was my monthly therapy visit.  She is one of the reasons.  She is excited to see how the new meds work.  She has said more than once that she thinks a lot of my depression is anxiety related, and the anxiety ADD related.  She thinks this is really going to be a good step for me.  So much has happened in the month since I last saw her that it felt like I hadn't been there in a long time.  She made an appointment for next month but told me if I don't feel like I need it and the medication is starting to make me feel more in control to cancel it and we will go on an as needed basis.  I really hope this is that magic pill.  I do feel more clear headed, not gonna lie.  She also thinks with Heather coming in that will take some of the stress with my mom off of me.  It could, but it could backfire as well. 

There are some aspects of the Heather drama that might create issues too.  She will not have a car when she gets here.  I have 2 cars and Dennis has 2 cars and his dad's truck.  I know my mom is going to pressure me into letting Heather take/drive Kermit and tbh I have no issue with that but I want her to pay the insurance if she does, it's only like $100/6 months.  Dennis on the other hand is firmly against it.  The car is at his house because he has more room and a vacant lot that has a pad on it.  If I let Heather drive my car it will start WWIII at my house.  Not sure why that is the hill Dennis is going to die on but it is.  He says once I let her use the car I will never get it back, but he has it now and I am not getting it back.  There are lots of examples he gives about his family and them expecting the owner of the car to do all the work on the car even if they aren't using it and paying the registration/insurance, it getting towed and left in impound.  I mean I get it but it is my car.  It isn't like my mom's car leaves the garage unless she has to run an errand close to her house or I'm driving it. Her car is a 2017 and barely has 50K miles on it.  That part will be interesting.  

Next week they are doing a big re-grand opening at the dance studio.  They built 2 new studios and they are opening Monday.  I haven't been in a long time but I plan on going back I think.  I do miss it.  I kind of stopped going because I felt like the owner started to take advantage of my willingness to help out.  I can't remember when it happened but they had a party and she called and asked me to help buy stuff for it.  I had been out for awhile for some reason, not sure if it was because I was sick or if it was work related, but she never checked up on me until she needed something from me.  That kind of left a bad taste in my mouth and I started pulling away.  It didn't help that we had to start going back to the office and my social battery was drained.  Add to that the classes that I liked were moved to after 7 pm and I was just out.  Plus the changed the price structure without the option of grandfathering in the OGs.  I was doing unlimited classes for a set price and she changed it to where you had to pay per class and I would have to pay per class, making it cost prohibitive to do that.  I have gone back a few times but nothing consistent.  The new floors means more classes and better times.  There is now a jazz class at 6 and a tap at 6:45 on Monday.  I would like to do both but I think I will go with tap if I had to chose.  I am better at that.  The tap shoes I have were a touch too big and that made some of the more intermediate moves more difficult so I think I will go across the street to the dance store and get a new pair of tap shoes, that way I am committed.  They have a broadway jazz class but it is during the day.  I am so onboard with that though.  If they would move it to evenings I would go back.  I loved the musical theater class so much!  I miss my dance friends.  I still talk to Shana but I used to see her like 3 times a week and now I see her once every few months.  

I've started putting in for jobs again.  I worked on my resume and had Brooke look it over for her thoughts.  I had my midpoint review last week and since our supervisor left and the boss has been out after having a major stroke, they have been filling the positions with temps.  Once the boss gets back and has some time to adjust they will advertise and fill the position permanently.  Because of this they let AP do the input on our comments.  Granted it's just midpoint but I walked out livid.  She wasn't in the office when I went over them, just the temp supervisor but after she had me read the comments I told her that if AP gets the permanent position I will retire early because I will not deal that that level of petty bullshit on a daily basis.  Her comments were along the lines of 'does a great job, however, she should strive to reply all on emails as discussed with her lead because it causes confusion of others (her) on if the email has been answered and always completes time, leave, and off-site input ahead of schedule but is reminded by her team lead to udate the outlook calendar of telework days and should strive to do better.  Bitch I will update the calendar as soon as she does.  I know she is going out week after next only because I went to sign out the car and saw that she already had it to go to St. Louis.  I have told her this in the passed and she said she can't put her office days on the calendar because then everyone tries to come in on the days she isn't here.  That sounds like an issue you need to address on a different level.  When I was a team lead I had no problems with people coming in.  Hell, I had to shut my office door to keep people from camping out in there.  

Next week will be interesting.  I am over the political crap.  If I get one more text from Kamala Harris I swear I won't vote for her.  That's not true because well, one I already voted and two I would never vote for the orange foreskin.  I did an absentee ballot when I wasn't sure if I would be back so I got that done awhile ago. I get so much stuff from our Mayor race because the current guy isn't running again.  One in particular loves the attack ads.  The election is pretty much all my mom talks about to the point if she brings it up I tell her I won't talk about it.  She needs to stop watching that crap.  It's like every conversation starts with I saw on youtube...  I told her the thing about youtube is you can say what you want without a single fact check.  You can also deep fake videos to make it look like anyone is saying pretty much whatever you want them to say.  I am not 100% on board with the media can't be trusted because that's some 1930's propaganda stuff, however, there are multiple ways to fact check and verify information.  My mom is just too lazy to do that and just wants me to tell her what is true.  I am getting an eye twitch just typing about it.

OK, my boss is coming in, the one that had the stroke and I want to go check on him and see if he needs any help.  This is his first week back since May.  He is only allowed to be back 2 days a week.  He is still having some issues with his leg, got a little snoop dog crip walk going, and his speech is pretty slow and deliberate.  We both started on the same day at the same lake so I feel a little protective over him.