I think it might be time to break down and start
taking ADD medication because I cannot and have been cannoting for a while.
I have a list of things that have to get done today but zero desire to do any
of it. I did get one thing started in the hour and a half I have been
working I forwarded an email that I reviewed for the Col and I feel that should
be plenty until after lunch 😣
I have just about had enough with my sisters not
helping with my mom. I am not sure how to go about putting my foot down
without making my mom feel like a burden. I told her last weekend that I
have a meeting in St. Paul in May, the same week as her eye shot and she needed
to see if Laura could tack her. She responded that Laura only gets so
many days off. I told her yeah, that's how jobs work, they give you a set
number of days off. Well apparently, my lovely, ever so thoughtful sister
is planning a cruise with her new boyfriend so she can't take any additional
time off work. Dafuq? So, her leave is for her to take a vacation
and mine is to take care of mom? Got it. Granted I have worked for
the same place almost 30 (!) years and I have 178 hours of use or lose that I
have to take before the end of the year. Keep in mind I have used 65
hours so far this year and it has pretty much been all for my mom or
Dennis. No one knows how much leave I get and it's none of their business
but the fact that they treat me like my time doesn't matter pisses me
off. I sent a text to my sister and my mom saying that I was going to be
out of town and needed someone to take mom to the eye doctor for her 6 week
shot. I got no response. When I asked my mom about it, she said
that Laura told her that she didn't have enough time off. Well fuck me
then I guess. My mom will have to figure it out. Through her
insurance she gets like 6 shuttle service rides per year, but I know she has
already used 3. I am just over being taken advantage of. I’m
not really sure what the best way to handle the situation is.
It doesn’t help that my mom literally doesn’t
try to help herself. The last day I took
off to get my hair done my mom called and said she was a dizzy headed (her words)
and felt like she was going to pass out.
So, I cancelled my appointment – and can’t get in until May 10th
now, and took her to the ER. They sent
her to an ENT and PT for her dizzy spells because they are thinking it is from
the stroke she had last year. She went
to the first PT appointment a few weeks ago and promptly told me she didn’t
like it or the therapist and it wasn’t going to help. I told her she needed to give it a few
sessions. Her next appointment was set
for tomorrow. I asked her about it and
she said she cancelled it because she felt better. I reminder her that she told me she thought
she was going to fall down the garage stairs a few days ago. Well the therapist gave her home exercises to
do and that will help. I asked her if
she has done them. NO, she was going to
wait until I was over and made sure she did them correctly. I felt like banging my head on the wall. I told her I was over there last weekend and
she didn’t mention them. Well, she didn’t
think about it. I really just want to shake
some sense into her. I just don’t get
it.
Still having issues with my hip. I took a muscle relaxer yesterday. The residual is kicking my ass today. I want to hide out in the bathroom and take a
nap. I went to my normal massage
therapist last week. She thinks it is
piriformis syndrome set off by laying in one position for over 4 hours when I
got my tattoo. It makes sense, I guess. I almost broke down and called the doctor yesterday,
but I know he will just refer me to someone else and I have an appointment with
the rheumatologist May 11. It just doesn’t
make sense to me to go to the PCP who is just going to refer me out anyway.
Last week HMF and I went to see Legally Blonde,
the musical. It was really funny and a
great break from reality. I told her we
need to have a once-a-month girls night with Dr. Susanne like we used to before
‘Rona.
My social calendar is filling up for the
summer. I would say it is post covid
catch up but I didn’t really do much before covid. Some of it is work but most of it is actual
plans that I will probably regret day of.
So far I have
May – Cinco de Mayo fest downtown with HMF
St. Paul
Lizzo concert with Brooke
June – VACAP training for work (Brooke will be
there too)
Lion King
Tulsa Tough bike races
July – Book of Mormon
August – Sonoma, CA
September – I hope to catch a hurricane
October – NYC with my older sister if I am still
speaking to them at that point.
Ok, I really do need to get some work done.
There are different forms of narcissism. There is the one we all know and love from the media but there is the other end of the spectrum, I think it's called vulnerable narcissism. These are the people who are very giving and do tons of stuff for their kids or others but do so in order to receive praise, attention and validation in return. If they don't get that, they can be pretty nasty. Of course one can be self-centred and not be a narcissist just like one can be an introvert and not very people-y and not be autistic.
ReplyDeleteA good ruler my therapist once suggested was asking why you are agreeing to do something. If you are doing it because you genuinely want to, great. If it's out of a feeling of obligation or because it's what you've always done (i.e. even if you don't want to) then it's not so great. YMMV.
I like the word "cannoting." ME TOO! And I even have some ADHD medication, but only because it is also prescribed for BED. I tried taking it for two weeks, and I cannot with that either. It makes me shaky and makes my stomach pain worse. UGH.
ReplyDeleteYour mom would drive me insane. But I know at least one of my sisters would help. Sorry they are just dumping it on you.
PS My back-posted entries were just for a trip around southern CO that G and I did last week, not a trip to AK. That is still coming up (in June), and my sister is doing it with me.
ReplyDelete