Well, it has been a long time since I have been around. A lot has changed in a relatively short time.
My weight is higher than it has been in almost 3 years; in the low 140's. There are a lot of factors going into that but mostly I just feel like I have given up. I have stopped using the band as the tool I need it to be. I think a lot of it is panic from the aspiration pneumonia cause from my band being too tight. I get a fill and inevitably I have to have some taken out a short time later. Last fill I got I wasn't even able to swallow saliva. I am pretty sure it is a panic reaction to the restriction. I haven't really talked to the doctor about it because he is so busy when I go in I feel like I am just taking up way too much time.
There has also been some stuff going on in my work and home life that has caused me to just throw my hands up and admit defeat. We lost our little 15 year-old dog Sidney to renal failure in September and it was excruciating to watch. We had to make the hard decision to have him put down. That is the hardest thing I have ever had to do but I know it was the right decision. I am grateful that one of my running friends is a vet at an emergency clinic and was able to help us out. Those boys were my life for so long it is hard to be without them. I still have the girls but it isn't the same relationship.
I have a new boss that I hate. I have been trying to find a job in another department or in another state but I have not had any luck. I get on the selection list but don't make the final cut. The bosses nickname is T-Rex because he has a huge belly and we have all questioned how he can reach past his belly to take care of any necessary business.... He has ran off my co-lead in less than 6 months. For the first time ever I am on xanax to keep me from losing my shit. I don't take it often but when I do I think it has probably saved my ass. This is not a good way to live at all.
To add to the stress I had knee surgery November 6; lateral retinaculum release. Pretty much my kneecap was tilted and causing severe pain, so the doctor cut the tendon that was pulling my kneecap off center. I had 4 weeks of PT and was released on Friday. I started the C25K over again, going in slow. I will have to have the other knee done if this works out on the right knee.
Things aren't all doom and gloom. I ran 5 half marathons and 2 25k's this year. The last one was the Nike Women's Half in San Francisco!! I can't believe I got drawn in to run this the first time I put in. I put my knee surgery off a month so I could run this one last half. It was excruciating but the most beautiful course I have ever ran. One of my good friends was supposed to go with me but she broke her foot days before we were supposed to leave and she couldn't go. I had the plane ticket bought, the registration fee paid, and she was going to use her hotel points for the luxury hotel a few blocks from the starting line. She insisted that I still go and let her use the points for the room. How could I say no? So I went to SF by myself and had a blast. There were a few awkward moments but I could do what I wanted when I wanted and it was amazing. I was worried that I wouldn't be able to finish with the knee but I made it through and got my Tiffany necklace at the finish line. I didn't think I would ever be able to make it back to the hotel though. I was beat.
We have a new foster dog named Truman. I found him at the animal shelter and got the rescue I work with to pull him. He was a mess when we got him, very underweight, caked in filth, horrible teeth. We though he may have distemper but after 3 rounds of antibiotics he is finally getting better; the continuous snotty nose is finally drying up and his cough is almost gone. He has also gone from 11.5 pounds to over 14 pounds.
My weight is higher than it has been in almost 3 years; in the low 140's. There are a lot of factors going into that but mostly I just feel like I have given up. I have stopped using the band as the tool I need it to be. I think a lot of it is panic from the aspiration pneumonia cause from my band being too tight. I get a fill and inevitably I have to have some taken out a short time later. Last fill I got I wasn't even able to swallow saliva. I am pretty sure it is a panic reaction to the restriction. I haven't really talked to the doctor about it because he is so busy when I go in I feel like I am just taking up way too much time.
There has also been some stuff going on in my work and home life that has caused me to just throw my hands up and admit defeat. We lost our little 15 year-old dog Sidney to renal failure in September and it was excruciating to watch. We had to make the hard decision to have him put down. That is the hardest thing I have ever had to do but I know it was the right decision. I am grateful that one of my running friends is a vet at an emergency clinic and was able to help us out. Those boys were my life for so long it is hard to be without them. I still have the girls but it isn't the same relationship.
I have a new boss that I hate. I have been trying to find a job in another department or in another state but I have not had any luck. I get on the selection list but don't make the final cut. The bosses nickname is T-Rex because he has a huge belly and we have all questioned how he can reach past his belly to take care of any necessary business.... He has ran off my co-lead in less than 6 months. For the first time ever I am on xanax to keep me from losing my shit. I don't take it often but when I do I think it has probably saved my ass. This is not a good way to live at all.
To add to the stress I had knee surgery November 6; lateral retinaculum release. Pretty much my kneecap was tilted and causing severe pain, so the doctor cut the tendon that was pulling my kneecap off center. I had 4 weeks of PT and was released on Friday. I started the C25K over again, going in slow. I will have to have the other knee done if this works out on the right knee.
Things aren't all doom and gloom. I ran 5 half marathons and 2 25k's this year. The last one was the Nike Women's Half in San Francisco!! I can't believe I got drawn in to run this the first time I put in. I put my knee surgery off a month so I could run this one last half. It was excruciating but the most beautiful course I have ever ran. One of my good friends was supposed to go with me but she broke her foot days before we were supposed to leave and she couldn't go. I had the plane ticket bought, the registration fee paid, and she was going to use her hotel points for the luxury hotel a few blocks from the starting line. She insisted that I still go and let her use the points for the room. How could I say no? So I went to SF by myself and had a blast. There were a few awkward moments but I could do what I wanted when I wanted and it was amazing. I was worried that I wouldn't be able to finish with the knee but I made it through and got my Tiffany necklace at the finish line. I didn't think I would ever be able to make it back to the hotel though. I was beat.
We have a new foster dog named Truman. I found him at the animal shelter and got the rescue I work with to pull him. He was a mess when we got him, very underweight, caked in filth, horrible teeth. We though he may have distemper but after 3 rounds of antibiotics he is finally getting better; the continuous snotty nose is finally drying up and his cough is almost gone. He has also gone from 11.5 pounds to over 14 pounds.
He is fitting right in as you can see. The girls are getting used to him. It is starting to look like he might not make it to the adoptable website, he was hours from the needle and now is the center of attention. He's a stinker.
Oh, I also took up aerial yoga between my running break and my knee surgery. I only did one month but it was so much fun. I will sign up again after Christmas. They have a special for $1,000 you get unlimited classes for a year. I'm need to look over the schedule and see if that will work out since I am going to be unable to do any big runs this year.
I probably won't be back before Christmas so I hope everyone has a great holiday. I will be back on here this year as I feel like I need the support of fellow bandsters.
Hope everyone has a great holiday!!
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