Finally Friday

I spent the last three days thinking it was Friday, and I was really disappointed two of those days. It is also the fifth day in a row over 100 degree weather , so I think everyone is just hot, tired and over it.

I would say this is the first full week I have worked in a long time but I got a last-minute appointment with the TMJ specialist and took off at noon. More on that in a minute.

Coming into the office five days a week is really killing whatever was left of morale. Even the shrew is taking more leave than normal. I can tell she is super burned out and has actually become less shrew-like. My mom asked the other day if she was still there because I haven’t complained about her lately, lol.

A close friend of mine was recently diagnosed with breast cancer. Thankfully, it appears to be isolated, and the current plan is six weeks of radiation. She moved to Dallas several years ago, so I wanted to send her a little taste of home and hopefully brighten her day.

There is a store near my office with a ton of niche Tulsa-themed stuff, and they were having their semiannual 40% off sale. I stopped by during lunch one day last week and found a Tulsa skyline coloring book, a Tulsa flag paint-by-number kit and these vinyl stickers

Cancer is obviously terrible, but sending someone an insulting Oklahoma-themed sticker feels like a perfectly reasonable way to show support.

On the entertainment front, I spared Dennis from having to sit through Hadestown. I had already bought myself a solo ticket for Saturday, but then HMF texted and asked if I wanted to go with her Friday night after she found a theater that wasn’t sold out.  My other ticket was refundable, so I returned it and went with her instead.

Part of me wishes I had kept the other ticket and watched it again the next day, but 2.5 hours two days in a row is a lot, even for me. We both loved it.

We saw the touring production earlier this season and went in mostly blind. We knew the myth and obviously knew how the story ended, but the only song I really knew was “Wait for Me,” which is a banger that I play on repeat. I think knowing the story and what was coming actually made the show even better.

The whole cast was amazing, but the actor who played Persephone stole the whole damn show. She was perfect.

Dennis only thought he got out of watching Hadestown because I had already indulged in the pre-sell and snatched it up. His freedom was temporary.

It also looks like they are going to start releasing proshots of more shows, which makes me happy. There was a preview for a limited run of Six next month. It is one of those shows people either love or hate, and we are definitely in the love column.

It is showing the weekend of August 14, and when we looked up tickets, it was already close to selling out, so we bought them immediately.

As a matter of fact, I also bought myself a solo ticket to see it again the next day. It is only 90 minutes long, so it is not quite the commitment that Hamilton or Hadestown was. Dennis should really know better than to assume seeing a show once means I am done with it.

I still haven’t decided what I think about the new gym. It is like nothing I have ever done before. The machines don’t use regular weights or gravity. Everything is computer-controlled and uses digital resistance. The workouts are short, but they are definitely challenging.

I am pretty sure I have been the youngest person there every time I have gone. It feels more like rehab than a regular gym, but honestly, that might be what I need right now. It is not the first time an elderly person has shown me up, and I am sure it won’t be the last.

After weighing in at less than 85 pounds and not being able to eat or chew properly for the third week, I finally broke down and called the TMJ specialist my dentist recommended. Saying the appointment was life-changing is not an exaggeration.

They did a 3D cone scan, which was kind of like an MRI machine. The dentist came in and went over everything with me. He said the condyle, which is the little ball part of the jaw joint, is tilted at about a 90-degree angle when it should be closer to 30. He said it is congenital, so it has always been that way.

I told him the whole history of having headaches, jaw problems and terrible ear pain for as long as I can remember. My mom used to keep me home from school because of the headaches and ear pain, and the doctor would say I was faking it to get out of school. I have even gone to the ER because the excruciating ear pain but no one ever suggested that my jaw might be the problem.

He had me open and close my mouth normally, then repositioned my jaw into the way it is supposed to track. I’ll be damned. The relief was immediate.

Long story short, I am getting a repositioning retainer. Since the appointment, I have been trying to hold my jaw in the position he showed me, and it feels so much better. When I relax and stop thinking about it, it goes back to my normal bite and sometimes catches when I try to move it back. Still, I cannot believe this might finally be the answer to years of problems.

At that point, I probably would have signed over my house if he told me it would stop the pain, so the price did not exactly scare me off.

They do not take insurance, but they gave me a step-by-step guide for calling my insurance and filing for reimbursement myself. I did not expect insurance to cover any of it, but they said they will cover 65 percent. They are also trying to get an out-of-network exception approved since he is the only specialist like this in the area. If that goes through, they will cover 85 percent.   Ow we just wait for it to come back from the lab.

The bad news is I have to file everything myself. The good news is that if filling out forms means paying around $500 instead of $3,000, I will happily do it. I am a government employee. Forms are basically my life.

I also have to wear another appliance while I sleep in addition to the daytime retainer. It goes over my top teeth and has a little piece that keeps my bottom teeth in front of my top teeth. I can already imagine how well sleeping with all of that in my mouth is going to go, but I am going to give it a real try.

The biggest thing is that after he showed me how to position my jaw, I was able to eat real food for the first time in what felt like forever. I almost cried.

Thursday was my check-in with the rheumatologist. I saw the PA, but honestly, I like him a lot better than the doctor. We always end up having a 20-minute chat session. I told him about the jaw thing, and he said he sees a lot of hypermobility patients with TMD and TMJ problems but has never known where to send them. He took down the information for my new miracle man.

I was worried he would yell at me about my weight, so I gorged myself on Olive Garden Wednesday night. I also wore the heaviest short-sleeved sweater I own and ankle boots that I couldn’t easily take off.

That being said, I weighed 90 pounds.

Was some of it Olive Garden and strategic footwear? Probably. Did the scale still say 90? Yes.

Baby steps.

another boring post

 Where to start…

My mom had the Doppler ultrasound done, and they told her everything looked good. We still don’t know whether she had a small stroke that caused the temporary vision loss in her left eye or whether it was related to healing from cataract surgery, but there is no concerning buildup beyond what they would normally expect. She seems to be doing well, although she still looks a little off to me without glasses. I’m not sure how long it will take me to get used to her new face.

Dennis got a job offer as a part-time substitute in the small engine repair program at the vo-tech. Honestly, I think it is the perfect job for him. He has always said that if he could do it over again, he would want to teach gas engines at a vo-tech or secondary school. Well, here ya go. He is waiting for his background check and drug screen to clear, which should not be a problem. The drug screen usually takes a little longer because of the controlled pain medication he takes through a pain management doctor, and that is always when Dennis starts to get nervous. I keep reminding him that it is prescribed and they just have to verify it. He should start training sometime next month.

As for me, I’m not sure whether I had a virus last week or the parasite that has been all over the news. I went home early from work Monday and called out Tuesday and Wednesday. I have also been going to physical therapy and a massage therapist to try to get my jaw functioning correctly. It does not hurt the way it did, but the constant popping and catching make eating extremely difficult. I finally called my dentist, and he referred me to a TMJ and sleep specialist who, naturally, is not on my insurance. In fact, I could not find a single in-network TMJ specialist, even in Oklahoma City.

My next step will probably be calling an oral and maxillofacial surgeon and crossing my fingers that they treat it. What I have been doing has helped with the pain, but it seems like it may be time to focus more on the joint itself. At my last massage, he got it to pop “back into place” and declared me cured. That was very short-lived, but at least I was able to eat that night.

Because eating has been so difficult, my weight is at an all-time low. My home scale said 84-something, which I hoped was wrong. I weighed myself at the gym Wednesday afternoon, fully dressed, and it said 86, so unfortunately the first number was probably not far off. Between being sick, the jaw problems and the weight loss, going to the gym has felt nearly impossible. Wednesday was my first workout in two weeks. I redid my strength test, which helped, but the number of repetitions was locked and could not be changed. I finished the workout, but it was not easy.

I am probably going to put my YMCA membership on hold for a while. The sauna is broken, which, honestly, just go outside, and they have been closing the adults-only women’s locker room off and on. There is a family dressing room, but I really do not want to use it. The Y also has a nice pool, a big slide and lots of kid-friendly features, which means there are approximately 700 children there at all times. There have even been kids under 13 using the treadmills and bikes while yelling across the room at their parents or friends. It is just a lot.

I started looking at fitness options available through my insurance and found a small private gym that uses Exerbotics machines. They work somewhat like the EGYM equipment, but the machines adjust to your ability throughout each repetition and focus more on higher effort, heavier weight and fewer reps. As much as I did not want to fall into the personal-training trap, I think it might be good for me to try it for three to six months and then possibly return to the Y. The drawback, of course, is the cost. Through my insurance, four sessions a month would be $114, and I would have to pay extra to add a second workout each week. I cannot imagine that one workout a week would be especially beneficial, but since this month is almost over, the four included sessions should be enough while I figure out the additional day.

Last weekend, Heather had an open house at the studio she shares with a few other photographers. It is part of an artist collective in an old warehouse, and the space is really nice. About 10 minutes after I got there, a storm rolled in with torrential rain. I had just read Jay’s comment about missing thunderstorms and briefly thought about hitting record so he could hear the thunder echoing through the warehouse. Heather had coordinated the open house with an offline vintage market, so even with the weather, the place was packed and she had a great turnout. It is a monthly event, and Laura and I are planning to go back next month.

Speaking of vintage, here is a picture of the dress I bought a few weeks ago. I took it in to be altered and holy schnikes. I have not paid for alterations in a very long time, and I was floored by the price. Granted, the dress has a lot of silk fabric and needed to be taken in on both sides, but I may never again buy something that requires alterations, lest I pay more for the alterations than I did for the dress.

Other than that, life has mostly consisted of the usual work, home and mom duties. I am nothing if not predictable.

Saturday, I bought a ticket to see Hadestown at the movies. Dennis said he might want to go, so I told him to watch the trailer before committing. It held his attention for approximately 45 seconds. I explained that the show is two and a half hours long and mostly sung through, so if he could not make it through the trailer, it might be best for him to sit this one out.

I do not mind going to the movies alone, and I cannot think of any friends who would particularly enjoy it. I also did not feel like doing the whole, “What time do you want to go?” “I don’t care, what time do you want to go?” routine. The real tragedy is that I am not sure popcorn will be doable with my jaw. And since it is not a sing-along, I will have to keep my terrible singing voice to myself.

Okay, lunch is over. Time to get back at it.

Just lifeing

Life has been life-ing. I feel like I am always running around doing stuff, but none of it has been particularly interesting.

We survived the evil loud Fourth of July holiday, which was probably my biggest accomplishment. We had a terrible storm right at nightfall, and I’m still not sure if that made the fireworks better or worse. We drugged Bailey, but he remained thoroughly unamused. I woke up around 1 a.m. and some jackwagon was still shooting them off. I still hear a few here and there, but thankfully they are finally starting to go away.

We had a terrible storm right at nightfall, and I’m still not sure if that made the fireworks better or worse. We drugged Bailey, but he remained thoroughly unamused. I woke up around 1 a.m. and some jackwagon was still shooting them off. I still hear a few here and there, but thankfully they are finally starting to go away.

It has been an odd summer. We had another bad storm this past Saturday. I did my normal Sunday morning errands before the church people got out, and there was quite a bit of tree damage. I wasn’t expecting it to storm, so Bailey raw-dogged it. He only freaked out once, and to be fair, it was a huge clap of thunder that made me jump too. I have never been so glad I replaced my roof last year.

Going in reverse, assuming I can remember anything else from the last few weeks…

I did my mom date Saturday morning. There is a porch bake stand a few miles from my house that gets stocked on the weekends with fresh cinnamon rolls, cake pops, cookies and various little snack cakes. I made the mistake of stopping there on my way to Mom’s a few weeks ago, and now she expects a cinnamon roll every time I come over. Honestly, they really are that good. Dennis is obsessed too.

I

Mom finally had cataract surgery on both eyes, and for the first time since she was a kid, she doesn’t need glasses to see. I told her this was unacceptable because after more than 50 years, I’m not sure I can get used to her without them. When she went with me to pick up my new glasses a couple of weeks ago, I offered to buy her some frames with plain glass in them. She declined. It is genuinely strange seeing her without glasses.

A couple of weeks after her surgery, she lost vision in her left eye for several minutes. She did not freak out nearly as much as I would have expected. That is the thing about my mom. She freaks out over every minor inconvenience, but when something genuinely serious happens to her, nothing.

My younger sister and I are pretty concerned. Mom didn’t even call the doctor because she was already scheduled to get a shot in her eye a few days later. Heather took her to the appointment and made sure they knew what happened. They adequately scolded her for not going to the ER and scheduled her for a Doppler.

She has also been reluctant to leave the house lately. I thought it was because she wanted her eyes to heal before riding around in a car and risking motion sickness, which she gets pretty badly. Now I’m not so sure. When I tried to get her to go do something this weekend, she said it was too hot. Granted, it is hot, but the car has air conditioning. I guess we will see.

She turns 80 next month, and apparently if I don’t start planning something, no one will. FML.

After leaving her house, I was supposed to get my nails done, but I canceled. My friend’s birthday is next week and she is going out of town. I was her last appointment before the trip, and I could tell she regretted suggesting that we hurry up and squeeze them in. She was very happy when I canceled.

Instead, I went to my favorite thrift store because they were having a one-year anniversary party. The place was packed, which made me happy. There was a newish girl working whom I hadn’t met before, and she was a hoot. She started pulling all kinds of things for me, including a perfect vintage dress.

When I tried it on, about four women were standing nearby, and every one of them said they would hunt me down if I didn’t buy it. It’s a mixed-media sort of thing with a polyester bodice and a silk skirt slit way up the front. It would need shorts or something underneath it. The bodice also needs to be taken in, and naturally, it is too long for my short ass.

One of the spectators gave me the name of a seamstress near my office, and the entire dressing-room committee decided the skirt should be turned into palazzo pants. I’m hoping to take it by there after work. I am so excited to see whether this works because it could be amazing.

Work is insane right now, which is part of the reason I haven’t updated. Once I get home and away from screens, I don’t want to get back on a tablet or laptop until I absolutely have to. Luckily, nothing major is going on. It is just the staffing shortage, high water from the storms and approximately 900 things that need to be done at the same time.

It isn’t all bad. The days go by quickly, and I can leave an hour early three days a week to go to the gym, assuming work doesn’t interfere.

Speaking of the gym, I am officially out of the honeymoon stage. I hate it with every fiber of my being. If I weren’t getting the hour off work, I’m not sure I would go.

The first cycle went really well, but then the machines made me redo my strength test. The new weights have been a struggle, especially paired with the TMJ flare-up. At this point, I would almost rather stay at work.

I decided the strength test must have been a fluke, so last week I redid it, thinking the machines would adjust everything back to a reasonable level. I’ll be damned if that motherfucker didn’t increase my weights again.

I can do the first 12 reps just fine, but the last eight kill me. Obviously, I am only doing one round right now, but I would almost rather do two rounds of 12. I don’t know if there is a way to set it up that way, but there needs to be because this current arrangement is bullshit.

The TMJ is slowly getting better. I found a place that does TMJ massage, and it was certainly an experience. I went in blind, able to open my mouth about half an inch before it stuck and hurt. The entire left side of my face and scalp was also sensitive to the touch.

This man stuck his big ole man hands, gloved thankfully, into my mouth and manipulated my jaw like he was trying to separate it from my body. It hurt so bad, but when he finished, I could open my mouth all the way.

I went back a second time, and it was much less dramatic. I canceled physical therapy because I feel like the massage is working better, and I’m going back again next week. My face no longer hurts, and the clicking had gotten much better, but it has returned over the past few days.

I was talking to Dennis earlier while he was sitting across the room. He did a double take and asked if the noise he heard was my jaw. Then he told me I needed to get it fixed.

Thanks, Einstein.

I had just started eating crunchier foods again, but it looks like I’m going back to soft foods.

It hasn’t helped that my appetite is gone again. This happens every summer when it gets hot. Eating becomes a struggle. I had made it back up to a little over 90 pounds, but now I’m down to 86 again. People had even started commenting on how “toned” I looked. I know the weight loss and the gym struggle are probably related, but so far nothing has helped.

The medication change was also a big failure. The medication it replaced helped with my ADD, and I could definitely tell a difference without it, but I probably could have learned to adjust. The deal breaker was that the new medication muted my taste buds, so nothing tasted right. What is the point of having an appetite if nothing tastes good? I gave it a month and then noped right out.

There are at least a few checks in the win column.

Dennis has an interview Wednesday for a substitute teaching position in a vo-tech small-engine repair program. This would pretty much be his dream job. To each their own.

I think I have talked him into looking for part-time work instead of another full-time job. Between his health and his mom’s, I’m not sure he needs to be tied up 40 hours a week. We will see how that goes.

HMF and I also saw the final show of this Broadway season, The Notebook. It was meh.

I was worried about how she would handle it with her dad having passed away so recently. We agreed to see how the first half went and leave at intermission if she needed to. She had one small emotional moment, but it wasn’t terrible, so we decided to stay.

All that buildup about bringing tissues was for naught. The cast was great and the vocals were incredible, but it went completely off the charts on the sap meter. Not my style at all.

The new season starts in September with Spamalot. HMF has parents’ weekend in Waco, so she won’t be able to go. I’m also going to have to move my tickets to a weekday because I got tickets to see The Outsiders in Denver on the day of the Tulsa show. 😬

Brooke and I are makin

The light is a freight train

 You know when things finally start looking up? You're feeling healthier. A little lighter. Maybe even, dare I say it, a little happy. You start to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Then BAM.

Turns out it wasn't a light. It was a meteor.

Such is my life.

To recap some of the fun stuff before the universe decided to remind me who's in charge...

Oklahoma kicked off Route 66 Centennial celebration. Oklahoma has the most drivable mileage of Route 66, and Tulsa still has a significant portion of the original route intact. In fact, the original route runs less than a mile from my house.  There are events planned throughout the year, but things started with the drive-in celebrating the 75th anniversary of the Admiral Twin Drive-In. They were showing a double feature of The Outsiders and Cool Hand Luke. Since The Outsiders has become a minor obsession of mine, and I hadn't been to the drive-in since the weekend I graduated college, we decided to go.  My older sister and brother-in-law bought tickets too, which made me a little nervous. They went to dinner beforehand and got there earlier than we did, saving us a spot beside them.  It turned out to be a really good evening.  Everyone was on their best behavior. If there was any drinking involved, it wasn't enough to notice. None of us are used to staying up that late anymore, and since the movie didn't start until dark, we all voted to skip the second feature and headed home around midnight.

Watching the movie at the drive in watching them watch a movie at the same drive-in

The next day was the big Centennial Cruise, an attempt to break the record for the longest classic car parade. It was wildly successful, maybe a little too successful.  The turnout was much larger than expected, which was unfortunate for some of the classic car owners. It was pushing 90 degrees, the route was nearly six miles long, and contrary to what most people think, Tulsa is actually pretty hilly. Five thousand classic cars crawling uphill in Oklahoma heat did not end well for some vehicles.  What surprised me most was the planning,  or lack thereof.  Participants had to pre-register, so organizers had a pretty good idea of attendance. Yet only one gate was opened at the fairgrounds, which served as the staging area. The route was only closed for three hours, and there were still cars lined up waiting to get into the fairgrounds when time ran out.  A lot of people traveled long distances for the event, so I know there were some disappointed participants.  The frustrating part is that it felt avoidable.  I totally missed my calling because event logistics are absolutely my thing. I've planned more rescue events than I can count, and somehow managed to do it with very few complaints. I still think there's probably a way to market and monetize that skill.

I hadn't planned on attending the parade, but my usual Saturday meal pickup was only a couple of miles from the route. So I grabbed my food, parked at a fast-food restaurant, bought a burger, and sat there watching the cars roll by for a while.  The turnout was incredible on both the participants and spectator front. 

After I got home and unpacked my groceries, I decided to drive over to the grand reopening of the Blue Whale.  For anyone not familiar with Oklahoma roadside attractions (which is everyone but me), the Blue Whale is one of those wonderfully ridiculous Route 66 landmarks that exists simply because someone thought it would be fun. During COVID, I would occasionally grab lunch and eat at the park there.  As part of the Centennial celebration, they built a new visitor center and gift shop and held a ribbon-cutting ceremony. It was packed, but it was nice seeing so much excitement around preserving a piece of Route 66 history.

All in all, it was a really good weekend.

The good news is that I have made it through the first phase of the program and officially graduated to phase 2, what they call "negative" training. This apparently means the machine helps you lift the weight and then makes you control it on the way back down with more resistance. In other words, someone looked at exercising and thought, what if we made gravity more aggressive?  The machine has decided I am now capable of this, which seems optimistic.  The good news is that I haven't died.  The even better news is that I can actually tell a difference.

I'm not suddenly entering bodybuilding competitions but I feel stronger, my balance is improving, and I don't feel quite as fragile as I did a few months ago.  Considering there was a point earlier this year where my vitamin levels were so low they seemed more like a suggestion than actual numbers, I'll take that as a win.  I still hate some of the machines. There is one that appears to exist solely to make me question my decisions. But overall, I have reached the point where going to the gym feels more routine than punishment.

It's also been nice to have something measurable. Earlier this year there were a lot of things I couldn't control. My health felt like a moving target, and some days just getting through work felt like an accomplishment.  For the first time in a long time, I feel like I'm moving forward instead of just trying to keep up. 

Mom had cataract surgery recently, so she's been laying low. She gets terrible motion sickness, and since she couldn't wear her glasses during recovery, we were a little concerned about what that might do to her balance.  As a result, I got a few weeks off from Mom Duty.  Her final follow-up appointment was Wednesday, and for the first time since she was a pre-teen, she no longer needs glasses.  I informed her that this was entirely unacceptable because I'm not sure I can get used to seeing her without them.  She was absolutely thrilled. She could read the smallest line on the eye chart without any correction and was grinning from ear to ear.

On a much sadder note, HMF's dad passed away not long after entering hospice.  She told me that A was having a difficult time with it, but for most of the family, much of the grieving happened while he was still alive and suffering. By the time he passed, there was almost a sense of calm. Relief isn't quite the right word, but peace might be.  I haven't seen her since, but we have tickets to The Notebook on the 21st.  Neither of us is particularly looking forward to it.  I haven't read the book or seen the movie, and romantic tragedies aren't generally my thing. If it's as sad as everyone says, I'll be bringing tissues.  Sometimes shows like that feel less like storytelling and more like emotional extortion, here, be sad about these fictional people.  We'll see.

Meanwhile, just when things were settling down, Dennis lost his job.

That situation is still unfolding, but it has added a layer of uncertainty to everything.  It’s a whole mess.  He requested the form to request FMLA to help with his mom.  She still isn’t driving after her stroke and getting her to the doctor appointments has been challenging.  He wasn’t concerned about getting paid for the time off, just wanted reassurance his job would still be there.  They provided him the forms and put a note on it saying that they had to be back before June 8.  I am not sure how they can do that as it requires a doctor to review and sign and we all know they work on their own timeline.  Luckily, the kept that note, but I digress.  He was told that the board of directors would have to approve his request, which struck me as unusual.  All of this blew up before he got the paperwork back signed.  According to him the manager came to him and asked him to sit down and Dennis told, him that he would rather stand and apparently that was insubordinate?  It's especially frustrating because he had never had a write up or any disciplinary action, had been told he was doing a good job, and there hadn't been any indication that his employment was in jeopardy. One bad interaction suddenly outweighed all of that.  That paired with them failing to provide him with promised benefits when he signed on pushed me over the edge.  I sat down with chat and typed up a time line, which turned into a 4 page dissertation, to send to the board of directors and HFH international. Chat put a caveat on the write up that the letter shouldn’t be sent until consulting with an attorney for multiple violations and infractions.  We got some good recommendations and if he doesn’t stat making appointments next week I will do it for him. 

Financially, we'll be okay for a while, but it definitely wasn't part of the plan. Then again, very few of the things that end up consuming your time and energy ever are.

To add to the stress, when I came home from work on Friday I was having really bad headaches from my trigeminal nerve caused by TMJ.  It is excruciating, causing electric shock type pain in my ear and my scalp is sensitive to touch.  When I woke up on Saturday it had gotten significantly worse and my jaw was locking inhibiting me from chewing.  I did a telehealth visit with the doctor and got steroids, muscle relaxer, and high strength NSAID.  I ended up calling out from work on Monday and going to physical therapy.  Never thought I would end up in physical therapy for my jaw, but apparently that's a thing now.  It is doing significantly better and I am back to eating regular food instead of ice cream and pudding.  Although, my jaw is still clicking more than normal.  Because of this I didn’t work out on Monday and they told me to kind of back off a little as the strain from lifting can exacerbate the issue.  I am still going but went back to one set.  That worked out well because when I was there on Wednesday it started to get busy after my first circuit.  Not sure what I will do today since I am feeling somewhat normal but know not to push it too much. 

It's strange how quickly life can shift gears. One minute you're celebrating feeling better, and enjoying a little breathing room. The next minute you're researching employment law, calculating budgets, and wondering whether retirement-aged people should really have to start job hunting all over again.

Nothing catastrophic. Just one more thing.

And that's kind of the theme lately.

Grumpy in Public and Other Recent Adventures

Things have been busier than usual lately, which honestly is not saying much, but still. I’ve also been in an unusually social mood, and I fully expect that to be temporary. I don’t know what to attribute it to. My outlook is still pretty meh. I think I’m just tired of sitting at home being grumpy by myself, so I figured I might as well share the misery with the world. You’re welcome. 

Last week started with some family drama. Nothing new there. My sister was supposed to meet my mom at some giant garage sale event and stood her up in a pretty shitty way. So I stepped in, took Mom to lunch at The Brook, her favorite, and then did a Costco run with her and Heather. She was upset but didn’t really say much, which somehow feels worse.

I tried bribing her with The Devil Wears Prada 2 and popcorn, but she informed me she didn’t even like the first movie, so there was absolutely no chance she was sitting through the second. Fair enough.

Heather and I ended up going on Sunday instead. We grabbed kids’ meals at Whataburger, loaded up on popcorn, and settled in. The movie was good, but not in the way I expected. It was really about the death of print media, AI-generated garbage, clickbait culture, sweatshops, all the fun lighthearted topics. It hit harder than I thought it would.  Also, I left wanting to max out every credit card I own on clothes I have absolutely nowhere to wear. Just let me spend one afternoon in one of those closets. Once. That’s all I ask.

In other who even am I news, I joined the YMCA.

I know.

The thing that pushed me over the edge was the egym machines. You get this bracelet and tap it when you sit down, and the machine automatically adjusts everything to your settings. There’s a little animated pacing line you follow and collect dots while it tracks your reps. It feels like playing a really bad video game.  I’ve only gone twice so far, once for setup and once for the actual circuit, but I genuinely like it. Work gives us an hour of fitness leave three times a week and I’ve basically just been throwing that benefit directly into the trash for years. I originally thought I’d use the ancient equipment at the office gym, but one look at those relics and I decided I’d rather pay actual money elsewhere.  Going 3 days a week on my way home from work cuts down on the excuses not to go.  The Y has twelve locations, two with the egym setup, nice pools, classes, even pilates reformer. That last one is a hard no for now, but never say never. Baby steps.

Food-wise, the meal service menu last week was uninspiring, so I skipped pickup entirely and we survived off grill nights and freezer food. This week’s menu was much better though, and we’re stocked back up with crockpot and air fryer meals like functioning adults.

Friday night was the Savannah Bananas touring team.

I’d tried to get tickets through the lottery months ago and failed spectacularly. Resale tickets were pushing $200 for the travel team, not even the main squad, which was an immediate absolutely-not from me. Then Friday afternoon I got an email saying they had released last-minute lawn tickets for $35. Suddenly I was going.

I texted my sister at 4:45 asking if she wanted to go because gates opened at 5:30. Somehow she was free, so we threw ourselves together and headed out. As I walked to the car, I looked up at the sky and immediately thought: oh no. That should’ve been my warning.

We found a spot on the lawn, and while grabbing nachos I had the sudden impulse to check the merch stand for ponchos before the rain started. They had them for under five dollars, so I grabbed two.  Excellent decision-making for once in my life.  By the time I got back to our spot, they were already covering the field. Lightning started. My sister and I looked at each other, put the ponchos on, and then the sky absolutely opened up. I tucked the nachos under my poncho because priorities matter.  After over an hour of delays and slowly losing the will to fight through crowds of children chasing autographs, we gave up temporarily and headed to a little bar across the street. We sat there drinking cider while watching the venue screens from the windows for signs of the game starting back up.

Eventually the game resumed, enough people had left that we upgraded ourselves from soggy lawn seating to actual seats, and honestly? It ended up being really fun.  Not sure I’d sprint back to do it again, but I’m glad we went.  The real tragedy was discovering there was orchestral karaoke happening a few blocks away at the exact same time. My sister immediately informed me I had chosen the wrong event.

She may have been right.

I also completely forgot Mother’s Day weekend overlapped with show week. I had already made brunch reservations for my mom, sister, Heather, and me, but thankfully HMF was willing to switch our theater tickets to Saturday night instead.

We’re still trying to recover emotionally from the closure of our old pre-show restaurant. Nothing nearby hits the same.  This time we tried a place called Avery in a hotel lobby. It was... fine. But they served cold chicken on my salad and my texture issues simply do not permit that kind of behavior. HMF kindly donated some of her cornflake-crusted chicken to the cause, which saved the meal.  Good friends understand texture and temperature issues without requiring explanation.

The show itself was The Wiz, which honestly wasn’t even on my radar. It’s not one I would’ve picked, but I ended up loving it. Funny, energetic,  and just a genuinely good time.

The only downside was that some of the vocals were hard to understand. I thought maybe it was just me, but at intermission HMF admitted she was following along with the ASL interpreters to catch some lines too.

The other issue was the theater temperature, which could only be described as meat locker. People around us were literally talking about leaving at intermission because they were so cold.  I learned years ago to always bring a jacket to theaters, but even with that I had goosebumps.

Sunday brunch with the family was predictably stressful, because family brunches apparently cannot exist without at least low-level emotional damage. The food was good though, and I ate way too much.

Afterward I hit the outlet mall because Gap and Banana Republic were running half-off sales for cardholders. I ended up getting several things for under $100, which felt like a miracle. The downside is that stores still seem deeply committed to pretending short people do not exist, so I probably need to finally learn how to hem pants. I did order fabric tape, which feels like the lazy compromise version of adulthood.

While walking back to my car, I spotted a woman wearing Fluevogs. I recognized them instantly, as one does. I stopped her to compliment them and told her I knew exactly what they were. The look on her face was priceless. She said I was the first person who had ever identified them by name in public. Honestly, it felt like seeing another member of a very niche secret society.

No idea what this weekend holds yet. I really need to clean up my yard before it fully transforms into a junkyard full of Dennis’s abandoned crap. I’m tempted to call the city just to force the issue, but I also don’t know if I’m emotionally prepared for the fallout that would create.

So for now, the junk pile remains.

Random picture because I was really feeling my outfit