hump day

I have really started slacking off on exercise.  I did go at all last week and probably won't go this week either.  Last night was my group training and I started having anxiety about it around 2.  I sent her a text and told her I would be stuck at work even though I wasn't.  I won't be there Thursday because Bailey is getting neutered so I just kind of wrote the entire week off.  I have got to stop doing that.  Now I am felling the anxiety you get when you have been gone too long.  It is a vicious cycle.  I did walk the puppy though since we had our last nice day for the week.  It actually started getting cold as we rounded the back of the trail and my ears were frozen when I got home.  It was beautiful when we left.  This is the longest walk Bai has been on to date and he did really well. 

So I didn't go to dog school on Monday either.  I kind of feel he has pretty much learned all there is that they are going to teach this session and getting him out around the other puppies just makes it harder for him to concentrate.  He does well in real life situations (except stay, and that isn't going to happen in a group setting).  We had a big day Saturday as I have learned a lot of big chains are indeed dog friendly and I desperately needed new pants.  I had ordered several pairs of jeans from Old Navy in a size 8 that were too big 🙌 so I needed to exchange them.  Bailey did great, we are still working on not jumping up to great people.

He got to meet the old navy dog and couldn't understand why it wouldn't play.

From there we went to Ross, which has a sign in the window that says "leashed dogs welcome" so we tested that out also.  It was super busy and he was a little apprehensive but I had several people tell me how good he was.  I found two pairs of pants for work and went back to the dog supply area.  There was a lady there setting out dog beds trying to decide which on to get her dogs.  She asked Bailey to help her and sure enough he found one he approved of.

Wasn't so sure why she picked it up and put it in her cart.  He kind of barked his displeasure and, of course, I thought it was adorable.  I picked up some treats and went ahead and opened them (I should have brought some with us) and that helped his focus tremendously as we waited at the long check out.   I mean, I'm not trying to make him into a service dog so his training doesn't have to be perfect...which is good because I let him get away with way too much 😉

Work has been busier than normal, which I love.  I had a little bit of a meltdown Monday but I take that as a good thing as it means I am finally getting comfortable enough in my job to know when people are being ridiculous.  The fact that she got irritated with me for not being able to read her mind didn't spark that "Oh my god I should know this" response, just the are you effing kidding me with that shit thought 😁 

When we got home from running around I left the back door open for a little bit to let the kiddos run in and out in the nice weather.  The started acting really strange so I went outside to see what was going on and the next door neighbor was having a screaming match with his maybe daughter (?)  They are not the best and we don't socialize with them.  They also let their backyard grow over and it has knocked one of the boards over in my privacy fence so I had a front row view for the action.  At one point he shut the door and left her outside, to which she started kicking the glass.  He opened the door and lunged at her so I ended up calling 911 and locking myself in the house.  It took the cops far too long to get there but Dennis came home in the midst of everything and said he could still hear them screaming.  I stayed out of it, I don't need them to know I am the one who called it in.  It made for an interesting day. 

Not much planned for the next several days since Bailey will be healing up and I don't want to leave him and will have to limit his activity.  I am taking off work on Friday.  We have it worked out so he shouldn't have to go back to day care until a week from today.  They will probably keep him with a mellower friend as Nayla, his BFF is crazy. 

OK I have stuff to do.  I am the only Planner here for most of the week and there are several Rangers here who need stuff so I will have another busy day.

Oh, and weight bounced up a little but I am feeling particularly bloated for some reason so I don't think it is a permanent thing, just have to up my water intake.  I was 127 this morning but I think it was up to 128 earlier this week.  I actually ordered a pair of size 4 jeans (super cheap) earlier this week to see how close I am.

computer problems

Nothing like having a Monday on a Friday.  I have been out all week at a conference and today is my first day back in the office.  I think I have restarted my computer 4 times in an hour.  I am waiting for IT to come see what the deal is.  I am on the list to get a new computer next month so maybe they will just bump me up on the list?  On that note, time to backup.

I haven't been to the gym this week, mostly due to the meetings.  I will make up for it next week.  There is a special dance class at the south location of the gym tonight that I thought about going to but it is 1) on the other side of the planet from my house and 2) a "sexy" chair class that wouldn't really be fun if you don't take it with someone you can laugh with.  I really thought about going but nah.

Diet is a mixed bag.  My weight is down to 126, which is 3 pounds from my goal.  I wouldn't mind losing another 5 pound but if it doesn't happen I'm not going to complain.  I am pretty darn happy with my weight loss.  I had a little mishap yesterday that involved chick-fil-a sandwich (without the bread) a few french fries and a soda for lunch and fajita nachos for dinner.  I don't eat that much normally so I'm not going to completely beat myself up over it.  It would have been nice to have had some physical activity to counteract it but I didn't so...  I didn't weigh this morning for obvious reasons. 

I have cut back on the amount of Saxenda I am taking and actually forgot it twice this week.  I would like to cut it back another .06 to make the pen last a little longer but I will give the 2.4 another week to see what happens.  This is not a cheap medication and on the full dose a pen only lasts 6 days.  That pretty much adds up.

Last week I got brave and did my taxes.  I pulled my medical expenses and was shocked to see that I spent almost $8,000 out of pocket last year.  No wonder it seemed like I was always catching up financially.  I know that is due to the shoulder surgery and the fact that my anxiety keeps me from closely examining my bills and questioning charges.  Well fuck that.  I will question every charge from here on out.  I am supposed to have "good" insurance.  In my next life I'm coming back in Denmark or I guess Canada if I want to be less dramatic.

OK, I guess I need to see if I can keep my computer booted long enough to transfer everything to my external heard drive. 

Have a good weekend.

procrastination

I really need to be getting ready for my presentation this week, but seriously there is only so many sign regulations one person can research.  I mean, yeah, signs in parks need to be standard I get it, why does it need to have 27 chapters?!?!?!

So I have been making a conscious effort to eat more.  I decreased the Saxenda dosage and it has helped a little with the nausea.  I'm still not particularly hungry but I don't feel like I will hurl if I eat.  It hasn't been particularly healthy but it also isn't a whole lot of food so it's a start.  The number on the scale is still going down, 127.2.  The smart measuring shorts recommended Old Navy jeans and I found them on sale for $15.  I ordered 3 pair in a size 8 and one pair of curvy 6 (I have really skinny legs).  Since I haven't tried them on, I am a little anxious to see how they fit.  The AE jeans I ordered fit really well and I got lots of compliments the day I wore them.  Jeans that actually fit make a huge difference. 

Hearing Patti talk about getting her nails done gave me nail envy.  I found a vegan nail salon that uses cruelty free products so I made an appointment and got a pedicure (minus the polish since it is too cold for flip flops) and a dip manicure using dip.  They look great.  I am curious to see how the vegan formula holds up.  On the cruelty free note, there are a few products that I am going to try that say on their website that they don't test and they don't sell in China but they aren't listed on any of the approved lists.  I am going to bite the bullet and order and hope the lists just haven't caught up.  I'll be pissed if I learn otherwise. 

I haven't been working out.  I am trying to get my heart medication regulated and it is making me feel like I am going to pass out.  I swear I'm just going to stop taking the medication and just see how it goes.  With the allergy medication it is all just too much.  Not sure why it has to be this difficult to take a simple otc medication. 

We did get some dog walks/training in at the park.  Bailey is doing really well with everything but stay.  We tried to get him out around people more this week, he was nervous but did fine.  I did pick that big baby up at one point in time but there was a flatbed cart and a noisy machine involved and it passed pretty quickly.  We also took him to a restaurant with us and he did amazing!!  Our vet tech told us about this place and it was really great.  The patio is covered with a nice fireplace so it was very warm (almost too warm.  They brought out a bowl of water for the dogs before they even get the drink orders.  Bailey was a little excited at first but finally settled in and laid at our feet.  There were 2 other dogs there and he really wanted to play but once I started giving him little pieces of my hamburger he decided that he could lay at my feet quietly.  We don't normally feed him from the table so he was all about it.  He really impressed me.

 He also enjoyed laying in the sun and watching people walk down the sidewalk.

I really didn't want to take him to dog school yesterday but I did.  We are more than halfway done with it.  He has most of it down, just need to work on stay and that isn't going to happen there, we are also going to have to do it at home. 

I'm supposed to get my hair done this evening but it is also supposed to start snowing so not sure if it will happen.  I will probably take Bai to day care for a few hours since he hasn't been since Friday and will probably have a lot of energy to leave in the house. 

This week is going to go by pretty fast.  Tomorrow and Thursday is the ranger workshop so I won't be in the office.  I am only going to be at the workshop until we break for lunch, then I will go home to sit in on the first community involvement  training they signed me up for.  This will take up at least 2 hours one day a week until July.  I don't hate that, I just hope the course is beneficial. 

Ok I really need to dig into some sign regs.  Don't hate.

Valentine's Day picture

quick update

I want to make sure I have my workout from last night posted:

15 RDL
15 sissy squats
10 side lunge with slider
300m row sprint
*10 step ups each side which I skipped thanks to some knee issues which decided to return in full force.

30 second
kettle bell swing
ball crunches - throwing the ball against the wall
walking planks
battle ropes
*slider planks which I modified to regular plank do to the knees.

I know we don't get as much in as I did during one on one but I did feel like I was going to puke so I got my money's worth.  My hr stayed about 100% for the majority of the workout.  I was tired when I got home.

I went to the doctor on Monday for my 3 month check up to get my ambien refilled.  She said I had lost 14 pounds in 3 months.  I told her about the fatigue and she thinks it might be a combination of things, nutrition being one.  I plan to start the protein shake regimen for when I am not hungry.  I am really picky and like mine with milk but I only like milk from a place called Braum's, a local dairy with several stores around town.  They have the best tasting milk and the protein (and calories) are higher than you can find in milk at the grocery store.  That being said, I had an apple for breakfast.
Anywho, she thinks my hr medication might be a little too strong since I hadn't taken the meds in a couple of days and my blood pressure was 102/65, she thinks it is getting way too low.  I am also starting back on iron and Vitamin D.

In addition to the workout yesterday I walk the little Bailey monster for about a mile.  He is doing so good with his training.  I got kind of mad Monday because they did a "pass the puppy" exercise where they passed them around to each person to get them used to being around other people.  Bailey was not happy with that.  I was right there and he didn't want anyone else but ME.  I made the comment that he shouldn't be that skidish since he goes to day care 3 days a week and I was told that maybe that is why he has separation anxiety.  Like it is worse than leaving him alone in a crate for 9+ hours a day?  I countered with "you don't think it might have something to do with him being abandoned?"  At any rate I was a little ticked.  Then they had a very young puppy with freshly cropped ears come in.  It wasn't in the puppy class but it really bothered me.  I mean, maybe he was a rescue and they saved him from the monster who did that?  Anyway, we have maybe 4 more classes until he graduates and I have to decide if I want to continue to attend.  I really wish I could find a rescue based training that wasn't horribly expensive. 

Here a few pictures from my telework day yesterday, as requested by Patti

The elusive Caper Kitty (KK) has finally decided she likes me and lets me scratch on her, or demands it, and occasionally she will let me pick her up.  Truman is just trying to hide out from the kitten/puppy nonsense.

So I have a presentation to prepare for next week, all about sign and sign compliance...it is riveting.  But, it has be super busy so I'm not complaining.

Until next time.... 

Manic Monday

My weight this morning was 128.8.  I never thought I would see the 120's again, and I'm still not sure it will stick, but I am not complaining.  That's a 40 pound loss from my known highest weight.  It wouldn't not have happened without the saxendra. 

I somehow missed a workout last week.  It was as follows:
30 seconds for each, 3 sets each
alternate sides ball slam
resistance band pull apart
battle ropes

Squat with band
glut bridge pulse
plank alternate touch

underhand row
superman
cross touch - ab

It was so much better than Tuesday.  There were only 3 of us, which helped and we were all injured in some capacity, which also helps.  Even though I hate battle ropes and it makes my hr skyrocket, I much prefer this workout.  The two other girls were also really nice.

Friday night I went to see Kelly Clarkson with a friend from college.  We had a really good time and let me tell you that girl can SING!!  https://www.facebook.com/terrie.broomhall/videos/10156983443643808/
not sure if the link will work or not but she was truly incredible. 

In other news, I am still having really bad fatigue.  I am having a very difficult time waking up in the mornings and staying awake for any length of time.  It is bad enough that I took off one day last week and went home early Friday because I didn't think I would be able to make it through the concert without a nap.  Saturday I woke up with a horrible catch in my neck so I took a muscle relaxer.  Not sure if it was that, the two rather strong cocktails I had at the concert, the medication or maybe the virus that has been going around but I spent most of Saturday either asleep or puking my guts out.  I felt better yesterday but still slept most of the day.  I did finally breakdown and order a pizza and ate an unprecedented 3 slices (they were good too) without getting sick.  I am sure this contributed to the low number on the scale as well. 

I have a doctor's appointment this afternoon so I will talk to her about what is going on.  I know the saxenda can make you nauseous but I haven't had any issues like that in several months.  I will have to talk to her about cutting back or something regardless as I get closer to my goal weight, which I have set as 123 for some reason.  I would like to be 112 but I will cross that bridge when I come to it.

I don't remember if I said anything about ordering the "fits like a glove" smart shorts last time.  I got them in the mail and tried them out.  As well as recording my measurements they suggested a few brands and styles of jeans.  Luckily I got some inexpensive matches, American Eagle and Old Navy.  I really wanted to splurge on a pair of jeans but the higher end jeans showed up on the lower end of the good matches.  So I ordered the top rated AE jeans and got them in the mail yesterday in a size 8.  They fit great except for the little extra room in the butt that I will always have (thank you flat butt genes). 

OK, time to get busy.  I will be curious to see what me doctor says this afternoon.   

nothing new

SSDD here.  Nothing much going on at all.

My weight is down again to 129.6 by some miracle.  I was shocked to see a number in the 120's.  I hope it sticks.  My appetite has seen a little bit of a surge but I don't think it is enough to knock me way over. 

I started with the new group training on Tuesday.  I am not a huge fan of working out this way, I much prefer one on one but I can't justify the cost difference.  Small group training is $37/session for 8 sessions, private sessions are $71!!  There were 5 of us in the group so she had 5 stations set up.  I'm not sure I can remember what all she had us doing...  We did 3 of each

monster walks with band
one leg squats on bosu ball
TRX---
one leg squats
back lunge
pulse squats

medicine ball squats
bosu push ups
fly on bosu
roman chair leg lifts
reverse fly on TRX

scissors
plank

I thought I was going to die, and honestly I half assed the first set pretty bad.  At one point I felt pretty light headed and just wanted to go home.  But, I sat down and collected myself for a few minutes, fought off tears and did what I could.  Between that and my left knee giving me trouble, working out in a group of girls was the last thing I wanted to do.  I would normally be very sore after that workout, but I know I didn't push myself like  I normally do and my mind wasn't in the game.  I have to remind myself that I don't want to waste the money and to just suck it up.  I am supposed to go back tonight so wish me luck.  I hope there are fewer people there so I can kind of tell her what's going on.  Which would mean I need to figure out for myself what is going on. My heart rate was not nearly as high as normal and from how I felt that just seemed off.  I have been more diligent about taking my medication, that is the only thing I can figure out that is different.  Maybe that is messing with my endurance some? 
The plank wasn't nearly as hard as it has been so I will take that as a minor victory.  My knee has been hurting just getting up from a normal sitting position so I know that could be a real problem.  I hope working out regularly will help strengthen it a little.

My mood has been pretty off lately too.  I am really slow at work, to the point that I hate to come to work and try to look busy.  The days seem to go on forever.  I got the kindle app to download on my work computer, which really surprised me, and have been reading to try and look busy.  I have been taking a day of leave each week just because I can't make myself get up and go in and try to figure out how to fill the day.  Luckily I have 23 years so I have leave but after last year I hate to waste it, just in case something happens.  I swear I am so exhausted when I leave, it is worse than when I am slammed.  Things will hopefully change soon, they are going to do a few temp duty promotions for the spot left by our lead.  I am sure some of the other planners will get the position and that will leave some work for me to do.  Until then I am just trying to look busy without being on the internet or my cell phone.  It is excruciating. 

Bailey had to get his flu shot yesterday.  He is up to 27 pounds and has sit and down mastered, we are still working on leash manners and leave it.  I would say he has some separation anxiety, but I think that might be more me (more on that later).  He is doing great at puppy kindergarten and at day care.  He is gorgeous, with his shiny black hair, especially after being bald when I found him.

This was taken at dog school on Monday.  Look at that focus!!  We have totally abandoned crate training because he screams so bad and it really stresses out Marcy.  So, we just don't leave him.  I know this isn't practical but it is what we are doing for now.  We have gone out to eat and left him out but not for more than an hour.  After a day care day I am not too concerned about it because he comes home exhausted.  But, keeping him in day care isn't going to work forever.  We are going to have to figure something out before we run out of money, lol.  They had a one day sale at his day care place today only where you can buy 10 full day sessions for $191.75.  You could buy up to 3 (they expire in 90 days) but we only got 2.  For the most part he goes 3 days a week so that will last him awhile.  We have a very spoiled little man.  We made the appointment to get him neutered 28 February and yes I am going to take off the day after to stay with him. 

So the older I get the more agoraphobic tendencies I am developing.  I don't know why but my dad's sisters have problems with it as well.  I struggle to make myself get out of the house to do anything and now that I have Bailey to use as an excuse it is getting worse.  The internet doesn't help because I can purchase almost everything I need online.  I am usually fine once I get out of the house but I just don't seem to want to do anything.  I have had tickets to see Kelly Clarkson in concert for months, the concert is tomorrow and I would give my ticket away at this point.  The only thing keeping me from doing that is my friend Mark, who I have been friends with since college and is a huge fan.  I wouldn't do that to him.  I am listening to one of her playlists trying to get excited but it just isn't there.  It has gotten to the point that even driving makes me nervous.  I'm not sure what to do. 

In other news, I bought a pair of these http://likeaglove.me/fitness/ and got them in the mail yesterday.  They are supposed to match you up with jeans that will fit your shape and measurements.  Luckily my top matches were very affordable American Eagle jeans in a size 8.  I ordered a pair of the ones that they said would fit me the best and should get them in the mail tomorrow.  I am curious to see how well it works.  I really wanted an excuse to buy a pair of expensive jeans but the ones they listed were far down on the list of recommended brands, so AE it is.  I can handle that.  We will see how well these things work.  I will put them on again in a month and see if there are any changes in my measurements.  I am kind of excited to see how well the recommendations work out.