'Rona, the sequel

Sooooo tired. Like, bone-deep tired. Sometimes I think back to my twenties when I was all “I’ll sleep when I’m dead” and wonder if my current exhaustion is just karma cashing in. Back then, I’d leave work, close down the bars, stumble into some afterhours rave, take a three-minute shower, power nap, then drag myself back to the office like nothing happened. Now? I stay up past 10 p.m. and need a full recovery weekend. How the hell did I ever pull that off?

Work has been… meh. Busy season is here, which means endless phone calls. Yesterday I was stuck from 10 to 2:30. Today looks the same. And if you know me, you know I hate phone calls. Hate them. I’d rather wrestle a goose in a Walmart parking lot.

Speaking of torture, last week was the Kansas State Fair. Every year we do a booth, Kansas City helps, and we hand out enough freebies to fill a landfill. We said we didn’t have the staff this year and maybe should sit it out. Did that happen? Of course not. So me and a coworker got volunteered as tribute. Four days. Four straight days at the fair.

Let me tell you, fairs are not my thing. The food smells good until you realize you now smell like funnel cake for 72 hours. And the worst part? Adults acting like the free swag is the Holy Grail. Watching people sneak back for their third pen like they’re masterminding some great heist, please. Kids I can tolerate, kind of. But grown adults hoarding tote bags? By day two and a half, I was about ready to start handing out side-eye as a freebie.

And then the flat earthers showed up. At first, they seemed semi-normal… then they explained how we could solve lake siltation by “just taking away the slope in the land.” Two hours later, I was eyeing the Ferris wheel like, yep, that’ll do it. My only strategy was repeating “you’ll have to take that up with the money people” like it was my personal mantra.

Parking was its own comedy show. Apparently, the big bold number on my pass wasn’t my spot. No, the real number was hiding on a tiny sticker at the bottom. Obviously. I drove around looking for spot 420 for far longer than I care to admit.  The parking attendant had no clue.  So I circled around until someone in the open parking area left.

Then came Monday. Storms rolling in, I thought, “Hey, maybe it’ll be quiet.” Wrong. It was free entry day. Schools dumped busloads of kids at the fair. Then the thunderstorm hit. Thousands of soaking wet, screaming humans crammed into buildings. Parking lots flooded, people stuck in the mud. Me? Wondering if I should start carrying a flask.

By Tuesday I’d had enough. Drove back, felt awful, thought it was just from shouting all weekend. Took a COVID test—positive. Luckily, it was more like a bad cold this time. Worked from home, slept all weekend, tested negative Sunday. Still tired, but functional-ish.

And just when I thought life couldn’t get weirder… surprise! Found out I’m getting a Civilian Service Award tomorrow. At an actual award ceremony. Why? No clue. I know for a fact it didn’t come from anyone in my office. Can’t wait to find out who decided I deserved this. I’m half convinced it’s a prank, but hey, I get an actual plaque and medal.  Guess I better dress like a grown up.

Meanwhile, Dennis’s mom gave us all a scare with what looked like a stroke. Ambulance, ER, the whole deal. She stayed overnight and then they just released her Sunday like, “Congrats, you lived, go home.” His sister that lives up north is going make a rare appearance next month and wants to do a “family meeting” but Dennis said nope, because he knows whatever he suggests will get overturned anyway. Their brother, who I’ve hated since day one, says when he visits it’s his “vacation” so he shouldn’t have to help. Boo hoo. Honestly, the man’s lucky I haven’t throat-punched him.

And the kicker? His mom now claims she didn’t even have a stroke. Told Dennis, the neighbor, even the PT that her droopy eye is just because of a surgery she had a year or so ago. The PT literally pulled her records and said, “Nope, ma’am, you did in fact have a stroke.” Her follow-up appointment with the eye doctor and PCP said it was because of long term effects of diabetes (in denial about that too) and hypertension. But she’d rather pretend it was something else and keep rolling. Our moms could not be more opposite if they tried.

Something I heard over the weekend really hit me as spot on to what is going on right now. "How you die doesn't redeem how you lived" 

Busy Bee

Well, it has been a minute.  When I was in NC I found out one of my co-workers had taken another job so when I got back I would be taking on more duties.  Turns out I have been pretty swamped and had no desire to get on the computer after I got home.  

I have had more of an issue adjusting back to my normal work life for some reason.  Not sure if it's because I am so busy or just that I am over this place.  Maybe both.  There is always a little bit of whiplash but it has taken me longer to get over that feeling this time.  It could also be because it's hurricane season and I know I won't be able to go due to the above circumstances.  At least the days have gone by relatively fast.

I had a phone call with the retirement coordinator/financial planner a few weeks ago.  It was about what I expected.  I really want to be able to retire early but I'm just not sure it's in the cards.  Even if I left at 58 (5 more damn years), but there are just so many unknowns.  He advised me to cancel my life insurance through work and take it out from a private company.  I also need to put more into a roth because the tax hit I would take from my TSP is what would keep me from leaving early.  Is it too little too late?  Well, who knows but if I don't do it at all there will be nothing post tax if I do leave so better late than never.  There are so many unknowns in 5 years.  He did tell me that I am in a good place owning my car outright and only owing like $20,000 on my house.  I asked him if I should focus on paying it off and he said at this point it doesn't really matter because the interest rate is low and it might be better to just invest that in the roth.  So many adult decisions that I don't feel responsible enough to make.  When do you finally feel like a real adult and comfortable in making these kinds of decisions?  I just don't want to retire and have to take a job at Costco to pay my bills.  Kind of defeats the purpose. I really do need to take advantage of having young healthy animals for a change to put some more money into my retirement accounts.

In a fit of extraversion I made a ton of plans and I am hoping my anxiety will let me follow through.  I bought tickets to several events and so far I have only skip one.  It was for the SPCA so I don't feel like my money went to waste.  I just couldn't do it and Dennis let me make the call and was fine with skipping.  I just needed a day.  

This week started with the holiday and I took Tuesday off because I had a dentist appointment and didn't want to ruin the day with work.  I made an appointment to get my nails done and had a chance to go by a new bakery that is blowing up right now.  The lady that owns it recently won the James Beard Award and you either have to pre-order or stand in an hour long line to get anything.  I happened to catch the pre-order open and put in for assorted croissants.  OMG they were best pastries I have ever eaten in my entire life.  Very much worth the hype.  I also got super cute nails.

Wild Brew with my sister was a couple of weekends ago.  It is a fundraiser for the Sutton Avian Research Center that does a lot of really good work.  It's a craft beer and restaurant tasting.  For some reason I never got the paper tickets so we went a little early and ended up getting VIP.  It really doesn't mean much but we got in early and there were a few vendors that weren't open to the general admission.  I wouldn't pay for them but it was nice to have a little seating area once we did a few laps around the place.  My sister wasn't too weird but small doses of her are best for me.  We had good time.  Neither of us drink beer and they didn't have a cider that I particularly liked but I tried enough to remind me that I did, indeed, dislike beer.  I will never understand IPA.

I took my mom to get her haircut for a belated birthday present and to my absolute shock she actually (kind of) liked it.  I had joked with the girl that does my hair that I was going to bring her there, which I would NEVER do.  She told me to just go to ULTA because they have the training and clientele that I could ask the manager that she has really fine and thin hair.  They gave me a name and I made the appointment.  After her appointment my sister called and my mom asked her if she wanted to meet us for lunch.  We ended up meeting her.  The two of them together is like kids fighting but it made my mom happy.  My sister found an event that she wanted to go to with an improve troupe and when she showed me the name I recognized it as being one that the girl that does my hair is in!  So, we ended up going.  Two outings with her in just a few short weeks is a gamble.  I had to go home and take a shower and blow out my hair a little because I couldn't go in with my hair looking a mess if Hayley was going to be there.  She was there but she wasn't performing that night.  It was pretty funny.  It was over about 9:30 and we stood outside and talked.  I asked her if she wanted to go somewhere but we don't do bars and couldn't really talk because it was a Saturday night, plus neither one of us are big drinkers.  I wasn't hungry so we didn't want to go to a restaurant.  We ended up sitting in my car and she talked (yup it was pretty much just her talking) until after midnight when I had to go to the bathroom and made my escape.  That girl is a hot mess and I know she is super lonely but I can only do so much.  She just wears me out.  She spent a good amount of time talking about her near death experience (she refers to it as her NDE, which tells me she talks or thinks about a lot).  Did she die?  There is no evidence of that but she swears she did and saw the other side.  She went into detail about her conversations with what could only imagine would be her 'spirit guide' to which I say whatever helps you get through the day.  I am so skeptical and want to believe her but I just don't.  The big sister in me wants to remind her that she didn't die when she had her aneurism she could have died those aren't the same.  I have no doubt she lived through more pain than I could ever imagine both physical and emotional at the exact same time so I just let her talk.  She did tell me that when her ex found out she was in the hospital in serious condition he assumed she had tried to kill herself because she found out about him being a disgusting pig waste of a human suit.  He can just fuck right off.  I never like him, just want to point that out.  It was a long day.  

This week will be a mess.  I am going to the first show in our broadway series, Kimberly Akimbo.  I saw it in Pittsburg before we knew it was going to be here.  Probably would have gone anyway though.  It isn't my favorite but I am still looking forward to it.  We had to switch our tickets because of a work obligation I have this weekend.  We were able to move the to tonight and got great seats so it was a win.  I haven't seen HMF since before I deployed.  I know A started a new school and she told me a little over text that he got into a lot of trouble over the summer, like handcuffs type of trouble so I am sure there will be a few adult beverages.  The place we go before the show has a prickly pear mule that I can drink like kool-aid.  Normally I would rather just drink a soda for the calories but I have been drooling over this for a hot minute.

Tomorrow Heather and I are going to see Hamilton in the movies.  I really hope it's a sing along because if it isn't I am getting thrown out.  I am not sure about Heather's knowledge of the show as she says she hates musicals but said she likes some.  Since it's on disney I am going to assume she if familiar.  If she hates it she can leave I guess.  I am not afraid to stay by myself.  HMF is my normal musical buddy but she has to attend A's football game.  I told her to skip it but I guess that isn't an option for some reason. Blech, I really dislike football.  

Saturday morning I am leaving bright and early to work the Kansas State Fair water safety booth.  I am not particularly happy about this.  I am getting some flex hours banked up and I really didn't have anything besides the show.  Plus I am so close to diamond at Hilton.  This trip might put me there.  Of course it is so late in the year that it doesn't really matter unless they go by stay history and not calendar year.  I guess I should look into that.  However, hotel points are hotel points.  I will have to work saturday, sunday, monday and tuesday.  I will be out of the office so there is that.  Apparently we have a contract with the fair that says the booth has to be manned and for some reason they (the field office) signed it without thinking that we are so short staffed we had entire projects that didn't open parks this summer.  So, someone from my office is going to have to go.  I can't imagine how much it is going to cost them.  I would think it would be cheaper to just pay out the contract but whatever.  I get paid regardless and will get 12 hours for saturday and sunday.  It was especially aggravating given the extra hoops we have to jump through to travel anywhere.  Not to mention our year end this month is making funds a little hard to come by.  But again, per diem and comp time and a little time out of the office.  I just hope my social meter can handle it.

I should have a little downtime the rest of September but October is packed as well.  The Outsiders tour starts and I might have bought tickets to see it a few times.  I told Dennis he had to go and I found a single front row ticket front and center so I couldn't pass it up.  I just hope they do the gravel and rain like they did on broadway!  They are also doing a Stay Gold Gala the Sunday the show closes to benefit the Outsiders House Museum.  There are supposed to have actors from the show and the band that wrote the music is going to be there to perform.  Seeing Jamestown Revial alone is worth the ticket.  HMF and I got VIP tickets.  We see the show that day so it will be a lot but I am really looking forward to seeing them sing Stay Gold.  So much more but this is already getting really long.

I can't get pictures to upload in a normal way so put some up but they are in random order, sorry about that.  

the start of spooky season nails!!

Wild Brew, not sure why the picture is distorted

best croissant I have ever eaten

Headshots Heather did that I talked about last time.

I'm here

I’m back in Tulsa after 6 weeks of the Appalachian Mountains and a week of R & R.  I have no idea how to update so I am just going to hit the highlight reel.

Despite my fear that things would be shutting down and I wouldn’t end up going, I was sent to a place that processed about 10 times as many trucks as any site I had worked in the past.  After I was there a week or so they asked me to extend until the end of July.  I kind of expected that if I got on with the QAS they would ask to extend.  After being told numerous times (according to him) that there were no extensions, I send an email to the area engineer and asked if they had received my extension request, it was approved by the end of the day.  I think they were trying to get rid of the QAS.  Turns out he took care of that himself as we were sitting on the porch of a hotel in a rocking chair with a cooler of beer still wearing his emergency management shirt.  Someone saw him and walked up and told him he probably shouldn’t be doing that, and he told her to mind her own business.  And that was his last day.  I got a call that night telling me I was the new QAS.  Normally it isn’t that big of a deal, you get some good QAs and you just let them work and stay out of their way.  That worked out great for a few days, but all of my crew left on the same day and I was left with an elderly know it all that I didn’t get off to a very good start with me.  They sent me 3 contractors, but they were a hot mess.  I was trying to run 3 sites, one of which did 400 trucks a day on a skeleton crew and I was losing my mind.  After much begging and pleading I got 2 great people….2 days before I went home.  I was so stressed out and exhausted by the time I left. 

The area itself is gorgeous.  They filmed Dirty Dancing at the lake I worked and Hunger Games and Last of the Mohicans in an area very close by.  I had a day to explore, and I walked down the street of Chimney Rock, a town that was pretty much decimated and happened to catch a store my mom had seen on youtube on their reopening day.  I was able to get her a shirt and magnet.  They had pictures up of the big army digging out over 2 feet of mud from the store.  I spent a little time in Dupont Forrest and did a few short hikes to some amazing waterfalls.  I will try and put some pictures on, but I have had some issues getting them to upload.  It was 108 according to my car thermometer when I got back in.  The rocks were also super slippery as I found out the hard way and cracked my apple watch face and my glasses.  Totally worth it.

There were also a lot of hard cideries there.  I tried a lot of new ones and found a couple of places that had clubs that sends their seasonal ciders out quarterly.  I signed up for one at Noble that had a cider called Village Tart that was a clear winner in both taste and name.  It is an area I would go back to.  Not the USVI but there are lots of things to do.  For sure not a place I would just pick to vacation at before I was deployed.  I would go back. 

I was supposed to be home August 1^st but I had the brilliant idea that if I took a later flight I would have the morning to spend in Ashville.  I knew better.  My flight was supposed to leave at 4 but the typical mid-afternoon storm blew in and delayed us.  I had a short connection in Dallas and got the alert on my phone that my plane was boarding before we even hit the bridge.  I looked it up and it was a 15-minute walk to the next gate, and I was in the back of the plane so that wasn’t happening.  I was so pissed as I waiting for everyone to get their life together and take their time getting off the plane.  They rebooked me on a flight that was supposed to leave at 9 but that one had an issue, and it was 30 minutes late boarding.  We finally got on the plane, and I guess the check engine light came on while the did the push back?  They called maintenance and they grounded us.  I mean, it’s a 45-minute flight, lets risk it at this point.  But nope, we get off the plane and they tell us to stay in the area because there is a chance they will get another plane.  I try like hell not to talk to people around me on the plane, but for some reason the lady next to me and I started talking and really hit it off.  We talked about renting a car and driving to Tulsa as she had to be at work the next day.  Turns out she was a producer for the First 48 crime series that’s based out of here.  Do I watch it? NO, I find it a little exploitive but man the stories she would have.  She ended up with 2 other people that were renting a car, and I decided it wasn’t worth the risk.  About the time that got sorted they said we had a plane in another terminal that was leaving at 11:30. When I got there, I heard the people at the gate say that the crew timed out at 11:50 so I just called the work travel agent and had them rebook me for 7 the next day and get me a hotel.  About the time I got loaded into the Lyft I got a message that the plane was delayed until after 3 so I made the right choice.  I was so tired when I got to the hotel, I took a shower and fell asleep with the towel still covering me.  I don’t think I moved an inch.  I was afraid I had overslept but I ended up having plenty of time.  I still didn’t land until 9:30 because we had to circle for some heavy rain.  Regardless I am home and probably will not be deploying again this season as one of my coworkers took another job while I was gone, and we are down a planner. 

I took last week off and had a little me time.  I got my nails and hair done and took my mom out to eat for her birthday.  We went a day early and I’m glad we did because while we were out, she got a phone call that her youngest brother passed away.  He had been put in hospice the week before, so it wasn’t a shock but still.  I tried to get her to fly to FL to see him, but they had taken him off all his meds and dialysis, so he wasn’t really lucid and she said she didn’t wasn’t to see him like that.  I can understand that.  Heather wanted to scout the downtown area for headshot locations and conned me into ‘modeling’ for her.  Dear god it was hot.  She got a few that she liked but not enough, so we ended up going back out a few days later.  I thought she was going to pass out from the heat.  She got my mom to come too so she got out of the house.  As much as I don’t like the living situation, I think it is good for my mom.  I haven’t seen any pictures from the second shoot so who knows how that will look.  I mean, she is already working at a disadvantage with the model, lol. 

Everything else is minutia.  I got my travel voucher turned in and will start working with soon to be ex coworker to get access to the systems she uses and such what not.  I can tell I haven’t spent much time on the computer lately because my head is killing me.  It also just occurred to me that I have new glasses, that probably doesn’t help.

Short week

Figured I would come on here and update before I pack up and leave again.  It has been a long drawn out wait.  I told them when I got home, I would like to go back but couldn’t extend because I had to be back for my sister’s surgery.  I was initially supposed to go to LA, but they decided they were going to cut back on sending people, so I got moved back to North Carolina.  Cool, not mad about that.  Report date was 9 June.  Got an email saying they needed to spread people out more and asked for people to hold off and come in staggered on the 9^th, 16^th and 23^rd.  I sent a message back saying I would like to go the 16^th (and get the 2 holidays) but was punted to the 23^rd.  That made work a pita because I am not going to start anything new and have to hand it off or put it on hold for 30 – 45 days so I have been doing busy work everyday for 3 weeks and it’s starting to get really old.  I am almost there, just working three days this week and it won’t be too bad because one of those is our annual award ceremony, where I will get my 30-year pin, and a meeting with a retirement planner.  That will eat away a good part of the day tomorrow.  The picnic that the award ceremony and the corps picnic are usually done on the same day, but we have high water at pretty much all of our parks, so they are rescheduling that part.  I don’t go anyway.  They asked us to send pictures for a slideshow, but I think we all know I didn’t do that. 

My sister is doing well, she bounced back fast.  We went to Tulsa Tough last weekend and you could not see any scars or anything.  It is noticeable but if you didn’t know you would probably think she got laser or something.  She is starting to get that plastic look though so I hope she backs off on the filler and botox just a little.  She is still gorgeous but is starting to have that generic overdone look.  I would never tell her that.  I would really like to have it done as well but I just can’t spend that kind of money on it when I could use it to travel.  That would be a trip to London.  

Tulsa Tough was fine.  It will never be as fun as it used to be when it first started.  I didn’t run into a single person I knew and none of them teams that we followed were there.  It was Laura’s first time going but she kind of paid attention to the race.  I thought she would just walk around and not want to watch, but once it got to 10 laps to go, she kind of got into it.  When she realized they had huge wrecks that kind of reeled her in.  The was a bad one at after the 10-lap mark that took out 20 bikes.  After the race was over, we went to Valkyrie, a vodka bar on the route.  This was where I realized my id fell out of my pocket.  We had a few drinks and went out to see if anyone turned it in.  They were packing up but the organizer was at the info area and I asked if it was turned in.  They had an id turned in but it wasn’t mine.  We walked over to a bench we sat at and ate some pizza and my freaking debit card was laying there in the grass!  I told Laura that I must have grabbed my card instead of my license but I knew I only had one card and had planned on using tap to pay.  Sure enough my license was in my wallet when I got back home.  I really lucked out on that.  It was still light out when we ate but dark when we left so no one picking it up and me actually seeing it was a huge stroke of luck.  

HMF and I went to the last show of our season, Wicked.  It was so good.  I wasn’t really looking forward to it because I had seen it so many times, but I am really glad we went.  It was a good production.  My older sister didn’t get tickets with her season package and said she probably wasn’t going to go.  I told her it was pretty good, and she caved and went last week.  She said she was glad she did.  We got the line up for the next season and I think it will mostly be good with a couple that I am not sure about.  We have Kimberly Akimbo, The Outsiders, Beauty and the Beast, A Beautiful Noise, Mamma Mia, The Wiz, and The Notebook.  I am on the fence about Notebook and A Beautiful Noise.  The first one because I hear it is sappy and sad, I never saw the movie as it isn’t my jam.  HMF’s dad has Parkinson’s, and she has no interest in watching a show that is about dementia.  If they get a good add on show, we will trade those in.  Also, A Beautiful Noise is another biopic.  Biopics are my least liked shows.  I really didn’t like Ain’t Too Proud and gave my ticket to MJ and Tina away.  We did send in our renewal, and I sprang for a seat upgrade.  Our normal seats were behind this dude that is giant, and we really didn’t want to sit behind him again.  We went down and checked out the new seats while we were at Wicked, and they are going to be so good!  We are now really hyped up for the next Wicked movie and are planning on buying tickets for opening night!! 

Our specialty wicked themed drinks

Our Fluevogs

Dennis is doing well at his new job.  He is starting to see some of the petty personality come out in people which means petty disagreements, he swears he is staying out of it.  Last week I had to review all of his insurance stuff to see if there would be any benefit to adding me on his policy.  I hate doing that stuff.  It feels like an adult decision that I am not fully qualified to make.  His portion is completely paid for but adding me makes his premium almost the same as mine.  I am curious to see how the two companies work together since I am not taking him off mine.  If we see it isn’t working, I will take him off in open season.  The only thing I was really interested in was their dental and vision but mine pays more ($350 vs $150 for frames) and I guess they don’t work in tandem like health insurance, so I passed on that too.  This is the first time he has really had a 8-5 M-F job and I think he kind of likes it.  He is close enough to my house that he can go home and check on the kiddos at lunch. 

I had to reschedule a bunch of doctor appointments while I was gone, I had primary, allergy, and rheumatology appointments that I had to fit in before I left.  Still haven’t gotten to allergy but the other two were last week.  I ran out of my RA meds while I was gone and thought I would just fill it when I got home because it was only like a week.  Around the time for me to go home my hands hurt so bad.  Getting back on the medication helped but it was still achy.  He gave me a steroid shot to maybe give it a jump start.  It seemed to help.  My bloodwork came back completely normal!  I think this is the first time in years I had all completely normal counts!  So exciting. 

I took off a little early for my appointment and went to a store called Name Brand Clothing.  It is a huge store that sells name brand and designer stuff from overstock, returns, and out of season stuff.  It is huge and requires digging and careful scrutiny because they can be damaged.  I get a wild hair once a year or so to go digging.  I didn’t have much time, but it was close to my doctor and decided to make a quick run.  I found out that Best Friends Animal Sanctuary teamed up with a designer men’s wear label and.  I found Dennis a couple of shirts for under $10 each.  I was super stoked.  He loved them and said he wanted to go back and see if he could find some more.  We went back on Saturday night and he found several more that he liked.  I wish they had a women’s line.  I did find an XS jacket and sweats that I picked up.  After that we went to Scheel’s, an outdoor, sporting good, general clothing store with a ferris wheel in the middle of it.  We hadn’t been because it is always packed and really had no reason to go, but since it was across the street we went and checked it out.  The place is huge.  We didn’t buy anything, but we spent about an hour walking around and looking.  It is bigger and nicer than Bass Pro and I hear it has really affected their business, which I am glad to hear.

Earlier Saturday I got my hair touched up.  It was a strange appointment because Hayley and I usually talk non-stop, but I think we were both just tired because we didn’t really engage that much. I was afraid it would take all day, but I was out by 2:30.  Since I was downtown, I took a drive down through the busy part of town.  There was such a good turnout despite the rain, it gave me chills and I got a little choked up. 

Nothing major going on or coming up, but I will start getting everything together to leave on the 23^rd.   No clue where in North Carolina I’m going to be staying, I hope they tell me before Wednesday so I can get that stuff taken care off before I take off after the holiday.  They aren’t great about doing that kind of stuff and I don’t want to do it on my own time.  It is a huge pain.  I do have my first night hotel booked in Ashville at the same place I stayed last time because it’s walking distance from the little art/shopping district with lots of neat little shops and restaurants.  It’s an Embassy Suites so it also comes with the 2 free drink coupons, if I get there early enough. 

 

Rainy days

 Well, it seems as if I just bring the rain everywhere I go if anyone is needing a good spring flood.  NC was soggy, and it has rained everyday I have been home.  Pretty sure it is supposed to rain again today.  I saw that they deployed the sandbag machine but not sure where to.  I got a call on Saturday from my emergency management office saying they had decided to cancel the LA tasker and put me back on the list for NC.  She told me the start date was 6/9 but I looked on the heat chart, which is what they use to track people, and they have me down for 6/6.  Either way I am fine.  I would love to go back and make a little more money.  I just hope it is as chill as it was last time.  Brooke is in LA and she is not particularly happy with the assignment.  Still better than being in the office but she had a few problems with her QAS, then they reassigned her to complaints and disputes, and now she is back in the field, but I haven’t talked to her to find out exactly what she is doing.  They made them take off Memorial Day, which she wasn’t thrilled about. 

I can’t remember if I talked about my sister’s procedure.  She pretty much had the lower face and neck lift.  She didn’t want anyone to know so I took her Friday morning bright and early.  We had to be there at 6.  I was so tired I went to my car and slept.  I think she was in recovery by 10:30. She is still really swollen, got her drains out on Sunday and is supposed to get her stitches out today. 

Saturday was a rainy dreary day, just like I like it.  I bought a new bag in Ashville and needed a wallet to go with it since I normally carry crossbody wallets all in one.  I went to Nordstrom Rack and a few other placed but didn’t find anything I liked.  I ended up at the outlet mall and found a wallet and a band for my apple watch that I really liked at Coach.  I went into a few stores but really didn’t find anything I liked.  Gap had a bunch of stuff I liked, and I had a bunch of stuff in my arms to go check out when it just got very peoply and the thought of standing in line was just too much.  So, I dumped the stuff off at the fitting room rack and left.  I am sure I saved myself at least $100.  I went by my sister’s house and checked on her.  She asked me about emptying her drains and I told her that I have my limits.  I don’t think she ever drained them, but since she was getting them removed the next day, I don’t think it was that big of a deal.  She has sent me some update pictures. If my phone feels like working I will attach a few.  She seemed to be doing ok. 

Dennis decided it would be a good day to take his mom to eat for a belated mother’s day so we did that and then I went home and did laundry and organized my stuff just in case I do go back out. 

Sunday, I took my mom to eat at Texas Roadhouse.  There was on in the parking lot of the hotel I stayed at in Gastonia.  I couldn’t remember the last time I had eaten there but it was as good as some high dollar steaks I have gotten.  It was just as good here.  I got enough for leftovers and Dennis ate them when he got home.  He made the comment that it was so tender he could cut it with a plastic knife.  We never went there because the parking lot is always packed, but they have a place to put your name on the waiting list before you go if there is a wait so Dennis and I may have to go eat there.  I really can’t think of anything I did.  Oh, I went to Costco but other than that my mind is a blank.

Dennis had been wanting another pair of steel toed boots, so he has a spare if the ones he has gets wet (which has happened several times with the weather) He found the pair he liked that he had tried on previously and I found a pair for him on clearance.  Now he has 3 pair so that should get him through.  After that I needed to go to bath, and body works to get laundry detergent, and we went to Old Navy to see if he could find some cargo pants or long sleeve shirts.  We left there empty handed.  Super proud of myself.  We stopped for a quick lunch and headed back home.  It was raining again or still so we sat around and watched the documentary about the Tylenol murders. 

Yesterday I had an appointment to get my eyes checked.  My left eye has a slight change but mot much.  My appointment was at 7:45, which sucked because I had my eyes dilated and couldn’t do much.  When I got home, I asked Bailey if he wanted to go lay down with me and he beat me to the bedroom.  We slept until noon, and it was glorious.  

I went to the optical place and ordered new glasses that afternoon when I could see again.  Although my prescription wasn’t enough of a change to warrant a new pair, I get up to like $350 a year for frames so I wanted to get them ordered because if I don’t do it while I am thinking about it there is a chance it will never get done.  I decided to go back to the place that I had used a few years ago, they are more expensive, but they have a larger selection, and they have frames that you can customize.  I got them the last time I ordered from there decided I would just suck it up and pay over my allowance to get what I wanted.  They are a fun shape that I haven’t gotten before so I can’t wait for them to come in.  I also ordered a pair of clip sunglasses to put over them because shuffling 2 pairs of glasses doesn’t work out well for me.  I am curious to see how I will like that.  I told them that I might be leaving for 30 days the second week of June so they said they would get them out immediately.  I let them know it wasn’t a big deal, but I didn’t want them to think I just didn’t pick them up if that does happen.  I also called and got my rheumatology appointment rescheduled for next Friday.  I had to cancel my last one since I was out of town.  I ran out of my meds while I was gone and wasn’t sure if he would refill so like a moron I just suffered through.  I remembered quick how bad my hand cramp and hurt without the meds.  I did get the refill when I got back, but I think I probably need a short dose of steroids to combat some of the swelling. 

Work is just as strange as ever.  It is so quiet.  There were a lot of people that drp’ed while I was gone and the week, I got back there were 3 more from RE.  Someone asked me if I regret not taking it and I really don’t.  There are far too many unknowns, and I still have 4 years until I can claim my supplement.  I think I did quick math and would be bringing home under $20K a year one the paid admin leave is gone.  Why would I make my situation worse because I would 100% have to find another job.  I don’t want to deal with all that stress.  I used to be close friends with one of the people who left, and she said something about driving uber?  Surely, she was joking because hell to the naw.  Her mom passed away recently so maybe she has inheritance money or something.  None of my business but I also know that isn’t my situation and I am not going to have to start worrying about money if I don’t have to. 

We also got an email last week telling us we no longer must submit our weekly ‘5 bullets’.  It said to conclude the exercise the need one last thing from us, our input.  One idea that will improve the efficiency or root out waste.  I haven’t sent in bullets in a month and I’m sure as hell not going to give them suggestions.  These people done gone nuts.  The audacity.  I would, however, love to see the feedback they get!

 

OK, I gotta get busy. 

 

Spring in North Carolina

 Hard to believe I have been out of the loop for a month.  I feel like so much has happened and nothing has changed at the same time.

I am currently in Gastonia NC working a FEMA mission for waterway debris clean up after Helene almost a year ago. I have been here almost 30 days already, going home on Sunday.  I will be back for a couple of weeks and heading out to LA wildfires.  I started out here, was here for a week and got moved to Union Co about 45 minutes from here.  Gaston Co. is well organized and a small operations that moved like a finally oiled machine.  A week in I got moved because they didn't have a tower at the debris dump site and had to use a scissor lift.  The harness was way too big for me so they sent me to a site with a tower built.  It was also a shit show.  I met a lot of great people that I really enjoyed working with, and a few that I wanted to throttle.  It has rained a lot over the last 2 weeks so we have had some admin days.  The first one they had us going to all of the sites they were pulling debris from (TOLS) just to keep us busy.  I knew that they would let us go back to the room once we had checked all of the TOLS but the jackwagons couldn't get their shit together.  I made the mistake of making a list of all of the sites and coordinates and trying to make sense of it all.  This landed me in a supervisor position that I don't want or ask for.  Luckily they got the tower constructed and moved me back to the good county.  

So far this deployment has been pretty sweet though.  One of the contractors at the disposal sites brought his 3 month old puppy with him everyday.  When I was alone at the tower I would go get her and bring her up in the tower and play with her.  She is a cutie.

I moved back to Gastonia on Sunday and as I was driving to the tower I looked up and saw a big fluffy boy running down the middle of a curvy mountain road.  Traffic had stopped but no one was doing anything.  I just opened my car door and yelled for him to get in my car.  And just like that I had a dog. He had a collar on and was dragging a leash but had no tags.  He is one of the most stunning dogs I have ever seen.  I ended up taking him to a pet store and they held him in a grooming cage  and called the non emergency police line.  Someone from animal control picked him up later that day.  I was actively making plans to drive 16 hours one way to come back and get him but alas his family found him.  I am glad he is back where he belongs but I really wanted him to belong with me :(

It worked out for the best though since I am only going to be home for a few weeks before I turn around and redeploy.  

The worst part of getting moved back and forth is that I made a tattoo appointment and had to do some finagling to get it worked in.  It is a lot bigger than I planned but it turned out great.

Since I have been gone, Dennis started a new job as a facility manager for habitat for humanity. I think he really likes it.  He is in his element.  The second day there the loading dock was about to flood and he engineered some pump from donated parts and saved the day.  I know he loves that kind of stuff.  He is only about 10 minutes from my house so he has been able to go by and check on the kiddos during the day.  

I am so looking forward to being home Sunday.  I am taking a couple of days off and can't express how excited I am to sleep until my body is ready to wake up and take a short break from working 80+ hour weeks. I need to stop and get some cat treats before I get home because she has a tendency to pout and ignore me for a few days after I get home.

Just tired

I’m so damn tired of living in “unprecedented times.” Like, genuinely exhausted. If I could click my heels together and teleport to a new timeline, I would—because this one? This one sucks ass.

I do still have a job, at least for now, but who knows how long that’ll last. Everyone keeps saying DoD is “safe,” but let’s be honest—no one who works for the federal government should be feeling secure right now. And being in natural resources? Just makes the target on my back a little bigger. So yeah, no high-dollar purchases happening over here. I saw this coming and voiced my concerns, but apparently, I was just “overreacting.”

I’m not gonna dwell, but man—it’s hard not to think about this stuff constantly. My therapist told me that most people can go to work and mentally “turn it off.” Must be nice. Meanwhile, I’m just sitting here waiting for the next ominous email to drop.

I’ve been limiting my time online, so I’ve been pretty out of touch with all your lives. I miss catching up. But I figured out a way to blog using my reMarkable tablet—it lets me handwrite, convert to text, and copy/paste. It’s a little 101, but also kinda therapeutic.

Nothing major has really been happening because I basically shut down once I get home from the office (which I go to five freaking days a week). My stubborn streak has actually helped—I’ve been refusing to eat out for lunch, and I guess that means I’m not boosting the economy… but hey, my diet might’ve improved? Lots of car sandwiches, though.

I also signed up for the exercise hour at work and have been hitting the trail twice a week. Okay, full transparency: last Friday was super windy and I just sat in my car in the parking lot. But the sun was out, and it felt good to be anywhere but “here.”

There’s a possible deployment to Louisiana on the table, but it’s being held up by AP, who’s got a project sitting in her court. Been there for a while now, so I’m betting it won’t happen. Brooke is already down there and said it’s miserable—literally just standing around while contractors clear debris. Someone on her team got chewed out for sitting. Sounds like a loooong 12-hour shift. The money’s nice, sure, but sometimes it’s just not worth it.

The week after I got back from Pittsburgh, my sister Laura had a scary health episode. She sent our mom a text saying she needed to go to the ER—no other info. I knew it was serious if she was contacting Mom. Mom hasn’t driven at night in years but was on her way out the door, so I told her to go home and let me take care of it. I live closer, I’m a night driver, and, let’s be real—I drive like a bat out of hell.

When I got there, Laura was outside in sunglasses and a hat, saying it was the second-worst headache of her life. I got her to the ER, dropped her off, parked, and made sure they knew she had a history of a ruptured brain aneurysm and has a coil. They took her back quickly, around 8:15 PM. She was back there for hours, came out to the waiting room around 2:00 AM, and then Mom called to say Heather would bring her and switch off. I was supposed to go to a co-worker’s funeral that morning, but I didn’t. We finally got Laura into a room around 6 AM, and after all that… it was the flu. I get it—they had to rule stuff out—but why not run a flu test up front? Anyway, I’m glad she went in. People die from the flu, and she needed care. I got Tamiflu from my doc, and luckily didn’t get sick.

On Saturday, HMF and I went to see a regional production of The Play That Goes Wrong. We needed that escape. A has been totally out of control. HMF told me he went ballistic in a parking lot—screaming, breaking the car door handle, pounding on windows, calling her names. It was scary. The clinic staff separated them, and when she left, they asked if she felt safe getting in a car with him. He got his permit the next day and expected her to let him drive. When she said no? Another fit. Lord have mercy.

The play was actually better than I expected for regional theater. The people behind us almost made me snap—they were mansplaining everything—but one guy had a ridiculous laugh that somehow added to the comedy. At least I got to laugh a little.

My focus has been all over the place. Some days I’m shockingly productive, and the next I’m in a complete funk. My dryer broke, Dennis fixed it, and I took that moment to finally sort through old bins of clothes. Sizes 0 through 18. Found a few things that fit—win! I’ve got two lawn bags in my car ready to donate, and more to wash. I’m planning to buy a portable rack and stick it in the garage to keep them cat-hair free. Some bins just need to be recycled—those clothes are way beyond saving. I hate contributing to the landfill though.

Tomorrow, I’m going to a retirement seminar. Word is they might offer another round of early-outs, and I’d be eligible even without the age. But let’s be real—I probably can’t afford it. I want to pull my TSP and let a private firm manage it because there are few things in this world I trust less than the assholes in charge. I haven’t even looked at my account because I know it’ll make me sick. Now that I’m about five years out from wanting to dip… of course the economy nosedives.

It’s an all-day thing, so at least I won’t be in the office. And I’m taking Friday off to get my hair done. Small wins.

Anyway, that’s it for now. I’m spent.