Thanksgiving recap

 

It feels like forever since I last posted an update, and honestly, I’m not sure where to start. I think I left off with the family drama and Dennis inserting himself into my family’s issues where, frankly, he didn’t need to. We met my sister and her husband for dinner, which I think helped defuse the situation a bit. Both my sister and I agreed that most of it wasn’t really an issue. Sure, there are things to address—like the updated deed sitting in her desk drawer—but overall, it’s not a big deal to us.

We did talk about the house, though. My sister and her husband said that if we don’t plan to sell and intend to live in it, they’ll sign it over to me. I’m not sure how my younger sister feels about it, but I’m okay with buying her share if needed. The house I’m living in now would make a great rental for someone. That said, I’m not planning on anything happening to my mom anytime soon. After that dinner, Dennis hasn’t really brought it up again. He’s still refusing to go to my mom’s house, but whatever. I told him he could either stay mad or get over it, but I’m not getting dragged into his petty drama. Honestly, he can be worse than a teenage girl sometimes.

On a lighter note, my friend from Dallas visited the weekend before Thanksgiving. Her youngest son had a soccer tournament, and while she initially planned to drop him off and hang out, her mom guilt kicked in hard. We did meet up briefly to shop at Ulta, but that was about it. I totally get it, though. We both have this unspoken rule: you can always cancel plans with me, no hard feelings. At least we got to hang out for an hour, and it gave me an excuse not to go to my mom’s house.

We also grabbed dinner a couple of weeks before when she had to meet the insurance adjuster for her mother-in-law’s house, which had been burned in a string of arsons. That house was in rough shape even before the fire—someone stripped out the wiring just before I left for Florida. It seemed like only a matter of time before something like this happened. The adjuster asked her if she suspected anyone, and she was pretty sure it was the sister-in-law. Unfortunately, there’s no proof.  The sister-in-law hasn’t been paying her restitution so she’s technically in violation of her probation. My friend was supposed to talk to the DA about it, but I’m not sure if she ever followed through. Now that is family drama.

Thanksgiving week was busy. I worked through the first part of it and almost finished a big project. It’s such a relief to have it nearly done. I’ve sent it out to a few people to catch any formatting issues—my personal blind spot—and it should be ready by the start of the new year. Work has been slow lately, with people taking time off for hunting season and using their vacation days. I’ve got every Monday off for the rest of the year and the last two weeks off entirely.  I haven't even left for vacation days and I'm already dreading coming back, lol.

Thanksgiving itself was low-key. My mom picked up a heat-and-eat meal from Fresh Market. It was okay, but not as good as I’d hoped. The turkey had a weird texture, but maybe that’s just me being picky about poultry. Dennis didn’t come, and I told him I wasn’t bringing him food. The cats, on the other hand, got some turkey, and Mango practically took my hand off for it. That cat eats like he’s on the streets, even though we’ve had him since he was a kitten. My vet friend calls him an “angry eater.”

On Friday, I did a little shopping for myself since we’re not doing gifts this year. I snagged my favorite foundation at 50% off—it’s normally $42, so that was a win. I might still do stockings for my little sister and cousin.  Friday night, Heather wanted to check out the Christmas Chute. This is the third year they’ve done it, but I’d never been at night. It was cool, and she got some great long-exposure photos.

No make-up look 

On Saturday, I decided to see Wicked. I didn’t have high expectations because of all the hype, but wow—I loved it. I’m officially obsessed.  I had sent HMF a text to see what she thought of it and she said I needed to see it and would go with me.  I figured if it was good enough for her to see twice in a week it must be good. My sister went earlier in the week and hated it, but she’s not a musical fan. The touring production is coming this spring, and if there isn’t a sing-along pre-show, I might have to organize one myself!

Later that night, Dennis and I made a Costco run. He was hungry, and we needed a few things, so it worked out. I was still full of popcorn from the show, but he had a hot dog and we split a slice of pizza. I looked for those white chocolate peppermint pretzel crisps I love, but it seems they don’t have them this year. Such a bummer. I got everyone addicted to them last year.

Sunday, I went to Old Navy for some $5 long-sleeve T-shirts for Dennis. I was surprised that none of the stores I went to over the weekend were crowded. It felt like a normal shopping weekend, not Black Friday. The movie theater, on the other hand, was packed.

Last week, I had a doctor’s appointment to check on my heart rate with the new meds. My heart rate was 70, which is low for me, and I think even the doctor was surprised. He mentioned something about drug screenings, but I didn’t have to do one. I do have to go in every three months, though. I skipped taking the meds over Thanksgiving break, but I started back up on Monday. Unfortunately, I didn’t eat beforehand and felt super nauseous all day. Not sure if it was the meds or a stomach bug, but I ended up on the couch with Bailey and Olive.

Anyway, that’s my life lately! Everyone here is decorating for Christmas, so it’s hard to feel super productive.

Family Drama

 

Things are a mess right now. Heather moving back has stirred up a whole Pandora’s box. I’m not surprised, but Dennis is appalled.

On Wednesday, I called Dennis from work to check on the kids, and he didn’t answer—not a big deal. He texted me later, asking if I was at lunch. I told him I was heading to my car to relax by myself and that I’d call him when I got there. Cue the meltdown.

Apparently, my mom had called him earlier, asking if he wanted any of my dad’s tools. She said he needed to pick them up ASAP because my brother-in-law was planning to take the rest. For context, my dad was an incredible woodworker. He even gutted and rebuilt their kitchen while going through his final chemo treatments, crafting beautiful, custom cabinets. He owned some high-end tools that Dennis has repeatedly told my mom he’d like to have.

Fast forward five years, and those tools have just been sitting there. Suddenly, they need to be cleared out within 48 hours to make room for Heather’s stuff. Dennis was furious—not just at the short notice but also because he wasn’t the first person my mom called. None of this surprised me, though. That’s just how my mom is—very self-centered.

Dennis tried to tell her she needed to protect herself, as he’s convinced Heather will take advantage of her and never leave. Her response? She just wants someone there in case she falls or something. Again, it’s about what she wants. I’d already warned Dennis that my mom shuts down when she doesn’t want to hear something. Still, his main concern is the house. He’s worried that if something happens to my mom, Heather will try to take it.

My mom has told us there’s a notarized quitclaim deed dividing the house equally among the three of us in her desk drawer in the spare bedroom. I’ve even told my sisters and my mom that if no one else wants the house, I’ll buy it and rent out my current place. But Dennis thinks Heather will find the deed and destroy it, forge a new one, or manipulate my mom into signing the house over. 

By Friday, Dennis was still fixated on it. I told him this really isn’t his issue, but I didn’t mind listening—up to a point. He even brought home a fire safe, insisting I take it to my mom for the deed. When I mentioned it to her, she just acted annoyed.

Dennis also wanted me to organize a family meeting, so I brought it up to my older sister, Barbie. We’re meeting for dinner tomorrow to discuss it. Dennis didn’t love the idea of meeting in public—he can’t hear well in noisy places—but I reminded him it’s an immediate family matter, and he doesn’t need to be involved unless necessary.

Honestly, none of this matters because my mom will do whatever she wants. This is the same woman who once told us that if she could do it all over again, she wouldn’t have had kids. When we brought it up, she hit us with the classic “I guess I’m just a terrible mother” guilt trip.

On Friday, I told Dennis to vent all he wanted while I drove home from work because I wasn’t going to let this drama ruin my weekend. To his credit, he respected that boundary.

On Thursday, I took sick leave because Dennis had an appointment for a back ablation. I didn’t want to drive to the office for just half a day, then come home and drive back to that part of town again. Instead, I ran a few errands in the morning and then took him in. This wasn’t his first ablation—it’s usually a pretty straightforward, in-and-out procedure. They give you a pager, and I wait in my car until they’re done, which typically takes about an hour.

When the pager went off, I drove to the pickup area, but Dennis texted me saying something didn’t feel right. I parked the car and went inside to check on him. By the time I got there, they’d already brought him outside. I explained to the techs what Dennis had said and let them know I wasn’t leaving until he felt better. They were very understanding and took us back in.

Dennis was struggling to move around, and the doctor came over to explain that Dennis had been so tense (big surprise there) that they’d had to give him extra sedatives to avoid breaking the needle. Everything went fine, but the tension likely made the procedure a lot more painful than usual. We stayed there for another 30 minutes, and they gave him a sugary snack, which helped him regain some color. He didn’t remember much after texting me.

When we finally got home, I put him to bed. I’d planned to take him out to eat afterward, but that obviously didn’t happen. Since I hadn’t eaten yet either, I went out and got a chicken Florentine pizza, and let me tell you, I was so hungry I ate it in the car on the way home. It was so good.

On Friday, I went into the office with the intention of sneaking out at noon to work from home in the afternoon. But AP was there, which threw a wrench into my plans. She’s rarely in on Fridays, so I suspect she was checking up on me since I’m usually the only one there that day. I hate being alone with her.

I had a Botox appointment at 11:30, so I told her I’d be leaving for that, and she didn’t say much. At the appointment, the nurse practitioner told me about a new laser treatment they’re offering. It sounded tempting, but after my last experience with one, I’m not sure I want to go through the pain and swelling again. They’re doing a Black Friday special, so I told her I’d think about it.

Saturday, I skipped going to my mom’s house. She assumed it was because of Dennis’s procedure, but really, I just needed a break from her. I went to Costco, the Dillard’s outlet, and Old Navy. Surprisingly, I didn’t spend as much at Costco as I usually do. I didn’t find what I wanted at Dillard’s but scored a few pairs of clearance workout pants at Old Navy. Not a bad outing overall.

Later, I realized I needed new shoes for jazz class, so I stopped by Ross to see if they had any Reeboks. I’ve danced in Reeboks before and really liked them. I found a pair in the kids’ section that I absolutely loved, so I grabbed them. It turned out to be a nice, relaxing day.

Sunday, I met up with HMF for lunch and to see Mrs. Doubtfire with our season tickets. Lunch was...interesting. I don't remember if I said anything but A, stole money from her wallet to buy three gummies from a girl at school. He took all three at once and ended up in the ER. He got a week of in-home suspension and 40 days of in-school suspension, but that could be reduced if he takes some drug education classes. He should be back to regular classes after Thanksgiving.  He ratted on the kids that sold the gummy so there is some concern about bulling.

She told me they’ve put him in Christian counseling, which surprised me since her husband, like me, is agnostic. She thinks this whole ordeal might have been a wake-up call for A. They had a good conversation, and their relationship has been improving. She even showed him photos of his birth parents and explained how the “fog” he felt after taking the gummies was similar to how they lived their lives, which kept them from making good decisions. A’s abandonment issues clearly play a big role here, and rightly so.

At one point, she mentioned that A had backtalked her, and she told him it was Satan trying to break down their relationship. I swear, I think she could hear my eyeroll. If it works for her, fine, but I just can’t with that. Especially considering all the nonsense happening in Oklahoma schools right now. (If you haven’t heard, Google it.) Sometimes, I wish I had a kid like me—someone who would buck the system and start a Satanic Temple club. There’s a great documentary about it from before the pandemic. I should order one of their shirts to wear around here. But I digress.

As for the show, it was fine. Funny in parts, but the main characters were pretty boring. The brother and his husband stole the show, in my opinion. Next up is Les Mis. Neither of us are excited about it since we’re not fans of sung-through musicals (Hamilton is the one exception). But it’s a classic, so I’m keeping an open mind. We’ll see how it goes.

Yesterday was really rainy, so I decided to work from home. For some reason, I woke up at 3:30 AM and couldn’t fall back asleep. I stayed in bed for about an hour, but eventually, I gave up and got up. I briefly thought about going into the office since I was already awake, but AP is out this week and would have been in yesterday morning. That was enough reason for me to pass on the idea.

By the time I logged off for the day, I was so sleepy. I told Dennis I was just going to nap on the couch, but he convinced me to get comfortable and lie down in bed instead. I had a few hours before I needed to leave for dance class, so I did just that.

Well, I ended up waking up at 5:35 PM. There was no way I could make it to jazz class—it’s about a 15-minute drive under normal conditions, but with the rain and rush hour traffic, I would’ve been late. Plus, I still needed to change. I hate missing it because I had so much fun last week.

I didn’t get to wear my shoes ☹️

Technically, I could’ve made it to tap class at 6:45, but it’s just not as enjoyable as jazz. I’m not sure if I’ll go back to tap. I wish the class times were better spaced—jazz at 6 and tap at 6:45 doesn’t leave much flexibility. I might see about showing up to tap 15 minutes late, but I’ll need to build my stamina back up before I try something like that.

Check in

I'll go ahead and address the orange, embarrassing predator in the WH.  I am obviously not thrilled.  I am on of those "overreacting" people who thinks this is a going to be a disaster for years to come.  I am not in a good place with this and I feel personally attacked and that people are more closeted misogynistic, sexist, and that I have been giving people way too much credit.  I have way too many friends that are going to be effected by this that it makes me scared and angry.  I will not watch the news or anything on network tv because hearing or seeing it enrages me.  I mean there might be a woman miscarrying in the ER that would be saved by a simple medical procedure but hey at least we can afford eggs.  I am in the stage of my life that I can cut a person off and not look back.  

We went over 2 months without a drop of rain, now it won't stop raining.  We got 7 inches in one day.  Last Monday they predicted really bad weather so the acting Chief sent to work from home at noon.  It rained like hell but it didn't get particularly bad here.  There were some tornados around but they didn't get to close to us.  I don't think they were very strong either.

With the weather I was a little worried that they would cancel dance.  Since jazz is at 6 and tap at 6:45 it kind of had to be one or the other.  I decided to go with tap.  It was fun but not like it used to be.  Tap isn't intuitive and if you don't use it, it will go away!  The new studio is really nice.  The tap room is small and needs a fan or two to keep some air moving, but it was nice to not have to roll out the protective cover for the floors.  But, it wasn't as fun as it used to be.  I decided this week I would do jazz instead and I had so much stupid fun!  There is a new teacher and she taught musical theater style!  It was the most fun I have had in a long time.  I had some of my old dance friends there and we just had a blast.  The teacher was a broadway dancer in her passed life and it was just so great.  I may go to the jazz class and join the tap class 15 minutes late since I am obviously warmed up.  I will have to check with the teacher and see if it's ok.  The only issue with the class on Monday is someone brought kids and she let them dance.  The studio is adults only and kids did what kids do and got in the way, doing cartwheels and shit during class.  I don't think the owner will let that happen again.  I am going to try and go tonight to my friend Shana's class.

My cousin made it in last week.  I picked her up from the airport, stopped and picked up pizza and took it to my mom's house.  I told her if she waiting until Friday to leave I would go with her.  Of course she couldn't wait, she had to leave.  Well jokes on her because they closed down I-40 in NM.  She stayed the night in the truck in Amarillo and went the long way around the blizzard.  She was supposed to meet movers at her storage building in Vegas on Friday but didn't make it until Saturday.  I just checked her location on my phone and she is still in San Diego.  I am absolutely thrilled I didn't have to go but she has to get the fucking truck back because I know my mom is paying for it.  I am not sure they know I know.  Tomorrow will be one week and if she doesn't leave today I am going to have a few words with her about taking advantage of her.  I know she is trying to get it all moved by herself but she hired people to help her in Vegas so.... It's a 20+ hour drive so tick tock.

I took off work Friday for my birthday.  Dennis came in with flowers.  We went to the new outlet mall and walked around in the pouring rain.  Neither of us care about getting wet and it made for a very quiet shopping experience.  We mostly just walked around and talked.  It was a really good day.  I talked to my mom several times throughout the day and she never mentioned my birthday so neither did I.  Finally about 10 she sent me one of her stupid mass good night messaged (in case she dies in her sleep) and I called her and asked her if she forgot my birthday.  She, of course did.  I am not one to make a huge fuss for them but that hurt.  I am not sure if she is just getting forgetful (she remembered my older sister, her favorites birthday the week before) or she just really takes me for granted that much.  Sunday I met my sister for lunch and I told her she could bring mom so she didn't have to suffer alone.  We went to the place that I like and you could tell my mom was a little put out.  She said she didn't feel good and her stomach was messed up.  She ate soup because she didn't want to get anything heavy and proceeded to demolish the bread bowl and the chocolate cake they brought out for me.  The entire time we were there she watched the Life 360 app for my cousin.  

I was off work on Monday for Veteran's day but didn't do much.  I did a Target run.  I know I did something else but I can't remember what it was.

Yesterday I WFH for 2 hours but took off to get my hair done.  We always have a good time.  We discussed comfort shows and books. She is always a good ego boost for me.  My friend Linda who lives in Dallas had to come in from more of her in-law drama (someone burned down 2 of the houses her mother in law owned) so we met up and went to an early dinner/happy hour.  I hadn't seen her in a year or so and it was nice to catch up in person.  We need to get together and plan the trip to see & Juliet in January.  Brooke and I both  want to go to MeowWolf and we thought about trying to catch a Stars game but it doesn't look like they will be home that weekend.  I am sure we will find plenty of trouble to get into.  The only issue we might run into is that Brooke and I are very much alike and want to hang out in deep ellum, Linda is more of a soccer mom type and thinks it too dangerous to hang out at.  It doesn't help that last time Linda and I went there to shop at our shoe store we pulled into a parking lot and there was a grown woman with her whole ass titty hanging  out of her shirt.  We parked and someone tried to get us to give him cash to park when there was a sign that said pay through the app.  She was done before we even got out of the car, I was laughing my ass off.  Whatever, majority rules, right?

They don't know it yet but I am going to call in tomorrow.  Dennis has an ablation on his back that afternoon and I think I am just going to take the whole day instead of having to come all the way in to the office and back.   

King of the Hill

 After much discussion with the therapist and a lot of oh shit moments, I finally broke down and let the doctor put me on Ritalin.  I always think of a King of the Hill episode where they put Bobby on ADHD meds and he is sitting at the kitchen table and says "there's some milk in fridge that's about to go bad.  And there it goes."  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Qan_JC9FG8

I don't expect ESP but it would be nice to be able to actually sit down and read a book again.  Or finish a load of laundry, or hell, unpack from my trip 2 weeks ago 😬

Yesterday was my first full day on it and I couldn't tell if I was just more aware of getting stuff done or if it actually worked.  Today I am not in the mood to do much of anything, mostly because it is so loud here in the office and I can't concentrate.  I have a Halloween themed podcast on but it still isn't drowning the crap out.  ETA - I ended up pulling up a work project that I have had for a few months that is kind of ongoing and almost got it finished without the threat of a deadline.

Heather is supposed to be here next week.  I will go get her at the airport so my mom doesn't have to drive after dark.  One of the things that made me talk to the doctor about meds is a really fucked up with her plane tickets.  I made the reservations for her and she wanted to change it.  Not really a problem because we booked on Southwest where you can move it around.  By the time she asked me to change it the tickets were and additional $160.  I was pissed because she was just kind of expecting it.  I finally caved to buy the ticket with the stipulation I wouldn't be riding/driving with her to San Diego.  Well in my haste I bought the tickets for the wrong day and ended up losing all that money I had spent on tickets.  Somehow Heather found a way to buy her own ticket.  She gave me access to her account and she had enough points to get a one way ticket, which added to the above frustration.  

I started the above yesterday but got busy and didn't finish it.

A few of us dressed up for work.  It was kind of fun.  I wish there were more occasions to wear costumes!  

The dreaded AP

Yesterday was my monthly therapy visit.  She is one of the reasons.  She is excited to see how the new meds work.  She has said more than once that she thinks a lot of my depression is anxiety related, and the anxiety ADD related.  She thinks this is really going to be a good step for me.  So much has happened in the month since I last saw her that it felt like I hadn't been there in a long time.  She made an appointment for next month but told me if I don't feel like I need it and the medication is starting to make me feel more in control to cancel it and we will go on an as needed basis.  I really hope this is that magic pill.  I do feel more clear headed, not gonna lie.  She also thinks with Heather coming in that will take some of the stress with my mom off of me.  It could, but it could backfire as well. 

There are some aspects of the Heather drama that might create issues too.  She will not have a car when she gets here.  I have 2 cars and Dennis has 2 cars and his dad's truck.  I know my mom is going to pressure me into letting Heather take/drive Kermit and tbh I have no issue with that but I want her to pay the insurance if she does, it's only like $100/6 months.  Dennis on the other hand is firmly against it.  The car is at his house because he has more room and a vacant lot that has a pad on it.  If I let Heather drive my car it will start WWIII at my house.  Not sure why that is the hill Dennis is going to die on but it is.  He says once I let her use the car I will never get it back, but he has it now and I am not getting it back.  There are lots of examples he gives about his family and them expecting the owner of the car to do all the work on the car even if they aren't using it and paying the registration/insurance, it getting towed and left in impound.  I mean I get it but it is my car.  It isn't like my mom's car leaves the garage unless she has to run an errand close to her house or I'm driving it. Her car is a 2017 and barely has 50K miles on it.  That part will be interesting.  

Next week they are doing a big re-grand opening at the dance studio.  They built 2 new studios and they are opening Monday.  I haven't been in a long time but I plan on going back I think.  I do miss it.  I kind of stopped going because I felt like the owner started to take advantage of my willingness to help out.  I can't remember when it happened but they had a party and she called and asked me to help buy stuff for it.  I had been out for awhile for some reason, not sure if it was because I was sick or if it was work related, but she never checked up on me until she needed something from me.  That kind of left a bad taste in my mouth and I started pulling away.  It didn't help that we had to start going back to the office and my social battery was drained.  Add to that the classes that I liked were moved to after 7 pm and I was just out.  Plus the changed the price structure without the option of grandfathering in the OGs.  I was doing unlimited classes for a set price and she changed it to where you had to pay per class and I would have to pay per class, making it cost prohibitive to do that.  I have gone back a few times but nothing consistent.  The new floors means more classes and better times.  There is now a jazz class at 6 and a tap at 6:45 on Monday.  I would like to do both but I think I will go with tap if I had to chose.  I am better at that.  The tap shoes I have were a touch too big and that made some of the more intermediate moves more difficult so I think I will go across the street to the dance store and get a new pair of tap shoes, that way I am committed.  They have a broadway jazz class but it is during the day.  I am so onboard with that though.  If they would move it to evenings I would go back.  I loved the musical theater class so much!  I miss my dance friends.  I still talk to Shana but I used to see her like 3 times a week and now I see her once every few months.  

I've started putting in for jobs again.  I worked on my resume and had Brooke look it over for her thoughts.  I had my midpoint review last week and since our supervisor left and the boss has been out after having a major stroke, they have been filling the positions with temps.  Once the boss gets back and has some time to adjust they will advertise and fill the position permanently.  Because of this they let AP do the input on our comments.  Granted it's just midpoint but I walked out livid.  She wasn't in the office when I went over them, just the temp supervisor but after she had me read the comments I told her that if AP gets the permanent position I will retire early because I will not deal that that level of petty bullshit on a daily basis.  Her comments were along the lines of 'does a great job, however, she should strive to reply all on emails as discussed with her lead because it causes confusion of others (her) on if the email has been answered and always completes time, leave, and off-site input ahead of schedule but is reminded by her team lead to udate the outlook calendar of telework days and should strive to do better.  Bitch I will update the calendar as soon as she does.  I know she is going out week after next only because I went to sign out the car and saw that she already had it to go to St. Louis.  I have told her this in the passed and she said she can't put her office days on the calendar because then everyone tries to come in on the days she isn't here.  That sounds like an issue you need to address on a different level.  When I was a team lead I had no problems with people coming in.  Hell, I had to shut my office door to keep people from camping out in there.  

Next week will be interesting.  I am over the political crap.  If I get one more text from Kamala Harris I swear I won't vote for her.  That's not true because well, one I already voted and two I would never vote for the orange foreskin.  I did an absentee ballot when I wasn't sure if I would be back so I got that done awhile ago. I get so much stuff from our Mayor race because the current guy isn't running again.  One in particular loves the attack ads.  The election is pretty much all my mom talks about to the point if she brings it up I tell her I won't talk about it.  She needs to stop watching that crap.  It's like every conversation starts with I saw on youtube...  I told her the thing about youtube is you can say what you want without a single fact check.  You can also deep fake videos to make it look like anyone is saying pretty much whatever you want them to say.  I am not 100% on board with the media can't be trusted because that's some 1930's propaganda stuff, however, there are multiple ways to fact check and verify information.  My mom is just too lazy to do that and just wants me to tell her what is true.  I am getting an eye twitch just typing about it.

OK, my boss is coming in, the one that had the stroke and I want to go check on him and see if he needs any help.  This is his first week back since May.  He is only allowed to be back 2 days a week.  He is still having some issues with his leg, got a little snoop dog crip walk going, and his speech is pretty slow and deliberate.  We both started on the same day at the same lake so I feel a little protective over him.