SO CLOSE

Not even gonna lie, I was looking forward to a little furlough vacation.

I didn't want a 35 day furlough but a week would have been nice.  Especially since they passed a bill that when they try and play these games with our livelihoods we are guaranteed back pay.   The least they could have done is give us a day in exchange for all the shit they put us through.  

Since I stopped doing allergy shots I have started having a lot of trouble with my eyes.  The end of last week my eyes were really swollen and red.  I went to see the ophthalmologist on Friday and got some steroid eye drops.  It has helped a lot.  I need to decide if this is the hill I am willing to die on with the allergy doctor.  I contacted the other clinic in town but they say it is their busy season?  Not sure how long it will take to get an appointment.  The allergy clinic I have been going to is already booked up for shots this week and I wouldn't be able to get in until Monday.  It is so inconvenient.  HMF goes to or went to the same clinic and she stopped when they started requiring appointments for shots too.  I hope they can transfer the serum to the new clinic since I paid for it but I have a feeling I am going to have to start all over again.  I had very similar reactions when I was growing up and the biggest trigger was cats.  We all know my kitties aren't going anywhere so I will have to figure out the allergy clinic nonsense.  

Speaking of HMF we went to the first show in the broadway season on Sunday.  

The first show was Aladdin.  It was fine, not one I would be in a hurry to see again.  It was funny and the effects were cool.  I went home and googled how they made the magic carpet fly.  The costumes were gorgeous.  The genie doesn't have as big of a role as in the movie, which is a good thing because I can't imagine them trying to match the energy of Robin Williams.  We went to lunch before the show and watched A's hockey game, they are undefeated.  All of his games are in the Dallas area so I haven't been able to see him in person.  HMF is trying to talk me into going with them the end of this month for the last games.  She sent me a screenshot of the hotel reservations showing she made hotel reservations for a double queen suite.  I am not sure I want to stay in a room with her and A though.  I don't think I would enjoy all of the togetherness.  I need some downtime.  It is just an overnight trip so we will see.  I do really like watching him play.  

Things are kind of imploding with the in-laws.  Dennis told me last night that he isn't going to participate in the holiday crap this year.  I have felt like they treat us like an afterthought for a very long time but I haven't said anything and sucked it up to go along to get along.  He is starting to see it that way too.   When FIL was put in the hospital in December SIL borrowed FIL's car because they gave one of theirs to their lazy overgrown child son (he's in his mid 30's).  They didn't plan on him coming out of the hospital so when he did go home MIL told SIL that she needed to get the car back.  That pissed her off and she ranted to Dennis about how she still needed the car but he didn't engage.  They couldn't afford a car blah, blah, and all that.  Fast forward to summer and not only have they bought a new car but they had a pool put in.  Dennis is very suspicious about where the money came from.  FIL asked Dennis to be the executor of his will but no one else seems to want to honor his wishes and just let MIL take everything over.  It's a big mess.  There are 4 kids in his family and 2 have kids.  FIL set up his will so that the kids get the inheritance and if they want to give some of it to the kids that is up to them.  Dennis knows that MIL is sending cash in the mail to the one grandkid that lives in Kentucky so there is no record.  He said that he is pretty confident that she will draw up a will leaving everything to the grandkids and go against everything his dad wanted.  It doesn't help that favorite grandkid is pregnant.  They had a get together the weekend I flew back from Florida but Dennis said he had no desire to go.  I think he reached his breaking point after the big storm we had on Father's Day.  I went over and helped clean up and fix the fence panel that blew down.  Not one of the grandkids or siblings even asked if she needed help.  As an added bonus, while we were cleaning up his sister and her adult kids and his brother and his adult kid all went to the Bahamas.  They do an annual vacation and have never asked us to join them.  I know it hurts his feelings.  His niece still does my hair but since she is the one that is pregnant I think I will probably try to change stylists.  She sold her salon and is going to start working at a salon paying booth rent. The new place is over by my office so it's on the other side of town from where I live.  It is so hard for me and my big mouth to not just go off on how they treat Dennis (I really don't give a shit about being left out of things, one less thing for me to make excuses to get out of) and how they don't help out with MIL.  

The weather is finally supposed to turn fall like this week.  I am so excited for hoodie weather.  I really thought about taking a day off and going to the fair but I really don't need to spend the money this close to vacation.  I haven't been to the fair in several years and I am sure there are lots of new fair food I would need to try.  Best to save my money for NEXT WEEK 😮8 days until I leave for NYC!!!

I leave you with a picture of Mango hiding out in a grocery bag.  Dennis told me he brought something back from the store for me.  Me being the gullible idiot I am thought he really did bring me something and Mango Monkey jumped out and scared me.  He thought that was pretty funny so he hid in the sack and jumped out every time I walked by.  It's a good thing he is cute because he is a whole mess.   

More of the same

 I haven't heard any new hurricane forecasted so things at work are pretty calm, other than the normal year end review stuff.  That will get worse as the people waiting until the last minute to start their yearly detail input and finding out they don't have access.  I'm that lucky person who gatekeeps the access.  We were supposed to start a new reporting system that would have came down to the wire for it's release.  Luckily we found out the day before they opened the input period that we were going to stick with what we currently use and move to the new system next year.  It would have been a nightmare.

My mom got a call from her internet provider that they wanted to upgrade the wiring in her house on Saturday.  She doesn't like to be alone with strange people in her house like that so I offered to come over and sit.  I told her if she wanted to run him off I would bring my little 45 pound menace to bite him.  She said no Bailey was necessary.  It took him 4 hours.  We went to lunch at the bbq place by my office and she liked it 🤯even though she complained that the fries were cold...20 minutes after we had been served.  I got a smoked chicken potato and it was so good.  They have lunch specials during the week and the potato is the Thursday special which is good information to have.  I seldom leave the office for lunch because it's a nightmare, but that might be worth the occasional exit.

Sunday was odd.  I stayed up late watching Master Pancake Theater (Sound of Music and the Nun).  Dennis doesn't like MPT but he had never seen Sound of Music and it was so much better with the commentary from the comedians, but I digress.  I ended up sleeping until 1 Sunday afternoon, which is unheard of.  I felt like I wasted the day and was just off the rest of the day.  I ordered a pizza for dinner.

Not sure where the week has gone.  My plan was to go in on Wed. and Thurs., I even bought a cake to take in for our end of year weekly lunch.  When I woke up on Wed though it was storming and I really wanted to destroy my alarm.  So, rolled over and went back to sleep.  I will have to go in tomorrow but AP will be out so it won't be too bad.  I have a shit ton of work that needs to get done but have been busy with other stuff.  Brooke is off the next two days so I won't have her to distract me with our usual teams banter.  

Look at that sweet little tongue 💖

I did make it to the office on Thursday, it was oddly quiet given the time of year I am not complaining at all.  I had a hard time getting my ass out of bed though and might have been a little late 🙈.  I also left early to pick up a plaque the office ordered.  

Finally remembered to let DVIS know I was back in town for awhile and got put on the call out schedule.  I volunteered for the weekday shifts because it is probably a lot easier for me to leave work than it is for a lot of people.  I have my work cell phone for calls and teams messages but the SA crises room is in an old bomb/tornado shelter area of the hospital so service is spotty.  We are eventually going to move across the street but like most things, who knows when that will be.  They are trying to get volunteers comfortable enough to respond alone as lots of the employees are starting to take off for holiday and end of year activities.  

The tattoo artist I have been fangirling over is finally taking appointments starting today for returning clients 😟 and tomorrow for new clients 🙋.  He was supposed to open them a few weeks ago but had to have emergency surgery on his neck because he was losing feeling in the arm he draws with.  It must have gone well.  I have been on this guys list for about a year and it's still not a guarantee that he will take you.  His FB and insta are under Artist Kyle Chaney if you want to see why I'm obsessed.  He does a lot of really big pieces and I don't want anything bigger than my hand.  I still want to do the UP theme, only requirement is Dug has to be in it in some way.  I showed Dennis a few ideas and he asked me how much it costs.  This guy is obviously not cheap and I don't really want to think about how much it is going to be.  Dennis told me to wait.  So I'm waiting until Friday to reach out, lol.  I have been waiting!!  This midlife crisis has a limited time offer with this guy.  Anyway, I will send him my idea and the size I want and he is good/.busy/popular enough to pick and choose.  I have doubts he will want to do something the size I want but it is worth the try.  He is out of OKC which is only an hour and a half away and he comes to Tulsa to work the expo that my artist hosts, hopefully the planets align.

Not much else is going on.  I hope to make it by a new little gourmet store tomorrow with my mom to pick up some premade meals.  They look like they have some really good options.  I hate going with my mom because I can hear her now about prices.  I have looked it up and they aren't bad but like a lot of older people she seems to think bread should still cost a nickel.  I bought some frozen protein waffles and pancakes and maybe I can eat that a little later in the morning and be able to eat a premade dinner.  I am never hungry for breakfast and end up eating lunch late and not hungry for dinner.  I have to do better.  

Dennis and I are going to Costco when I get off work and I will peruse the aisles.  I am out of my air fryer pizzas and he needs to go get his card.  I am thinking about changing the dogs food to the kirkland brand too since they opened the store closer to me.  I'm still not sure I want to start feeding them food that I have to get from one specific place with limited hours.  I feed them Wellness now, which you can get at any pet food store so that makes it so easy.  Plus, Costco is going to get crazy in the next few weeks and I don't know that I want to deal with holiday shopping crowds.  Yes, I put way too much time and effort into researching dog food.  

* I wrote the above post on Friday and never posted it.  Instead of deleted it all I am just going to add to it here*

The Costco run was a success in that Dennis paid for groceries, lol.

I went to my mom's on Saturday.  I think she was aggravated at me because I didn't rush over there.  I wasn't in the mood to rush anywhere.  I got there before noon and took my sweet time with the fur babies and getting ready.  It makes for a much more tolerable visit.  Wednesday I watch the new episode of Reservation Dogs and recognized the area of town they were in.  Ironically it was the area I needed to go.  They were in a diner that I had been to and really liked, but is strictly a breakfast and lunch place that closes at 2 so I always forget it is there.  Again, my mom didn't have anything negative to say!  They let me or order a kids meal, which earns them another point.  My mom said her stomach was feeling gross so she ordered a cup of stew and cornbread.  We got out of there for around $10 and had a little leftover for my mom to take to her spoiled ass dog.  When I was paying I asked them how it felt to me famous.  They dug out a picture of Ethan Hawke and Sterlin Harjo sitting at a booth playing a guitar.  They said everyone was super nice and I continue to kick myself for passing on the extra gig.  

After lunch we stopped at the market I have been wanting to try.  It is a small storefront with fresh bread and premade meals.  One of the restaurant groups opened this up so I have high hopes.  The bread is amazing!  I got 2 meals, a homemade hamburger helper and an alfredo dish.  Hamburger helper is one of my comfort foods.  I never make it because it is so unhealthy and I will literally eat the entire box and make myself sick.  We are going to make it for dinner tonight so we will see how it measures up to the heavily processed real thing. 

My friend Linda came into town on Sunday from TX.  Her SIL's sentencing hearing was Monday and she wanted to be there.  The entire situation is a nightmare.  To recap, her husband's sister was arrested for stealing well over $100K dollars from the mom.  She had a stroke and needed a caregiver and SIL, her boyfriend and the son took a large portion of her savings and left her to live in a house that was falling down around her.  The in-laws hate my friend Linda so when they came to town they stayed at a hotel and they met up at a restaurant so they had no idea how bad it had gotten.  The nephew got 1 year probation and 100 hours of community service, the boyfriend got 1 year probation and $5,000 in restitution, both in plea deals.  The sister refused to take the deal because she was going to have to repay $70,000.  The judge held that up and gave her 7 years probation.  Linda said it was deferred which means it won't show up on her record as a felony until she screws up and violates her probation.  I have no doubt that will happen sooner rather than later because she isn't going to pay that back.  It would require her to get and keep a job.  All of that to say we met up for a late lunch/early dinner on Sunday.  We went to the restaurant we used to visit all the time when she lived in Tulsa.  She lived on that street and she couldn't believe how much it had changed.  It was always the trendy part of town but it is getting increasingly bougie.  Our restaurant hasn't changed.

The tattoo is a no go.  The guy said he "doesn't do small tattoos"  I wanted something about the size of the one I got of Olive/Ninja.  I could tell pretty early on that he wasn't interested.  I am really disappointed but I half expected it.  I put a few pictures in the group message that anyone that reads this is a part of.  He is already booked up for 2024.  I sent a message to the girl who has done the other tattoos to see if she wants to do it.  It will probably be close to my birthday before I would have time to get it done.  For now I will have to settle for the piercing appointment I have at Maria Tash in NYC.  

I have started to try and burn through some leave for work.  I have about 4 weeks I need to take before the end of the year or I will lose it.  I took off early yesterday and got my nails done.  They are amazing.  

I told her I would order stickers or stencils and she told me nope, she will hand paint them.  It took 5 hours and she way undercharged me.  Her boyfriend came in towards the end and told me she had been practicing.  I am trying to talk her into hand painting press ons and selling them online.  She is just do freaking good.  

OK, I need to get back to work.  I promised one of the rangers I would assist them with the aforementioned data base on a module that did get pushed through so I need to go through and make sure I know how to use it. 😬

Feels Good to Be a Gangster

So glad I didn't have to fly to St Paul this week.  That being said, the task we were supposed to do virtually isn't being done.  I am ready to ditch this PDT all together.  The national manager is super smart, like off the charts smart, which turns into more of a hindrance than anything.  He is in the guard and speaks several languages, including farsi and all of those Persian languages so he gets called up on some super secret spy stuff all the time and leaves us hanging.  Last time he was gone for a year, this time it is supposed to be a month.  I am just tired of having a half finished program with no training and a revolving door of field contacts.  I guess that is par for the course when you work for the feds.  

I finally got in to see the new rheumatologist on Monday.  My old one left over a year ago but apparently there is a shortage here?  I have been seeing a PA or NP in the meantime.  I like the assistant I normally see, the jury is still out on the new doctor.  He is older with Einstein hair and a thick german accent and isn't one for long discussions.  My appointment was at 9:40 and I was rescheduled for my quarterly follow up, checked out and in my car by 10:15.  My weight was up a little but I wore my shoes and jacket and was still 98 pounds.  He is taking me off one of my medications and increasing another one to see if that helps with the sudden appetite change and weight loss.  I was in to see the assistant in June and have lost 10 pounds from that visit.  Other than that he looked at my hands, which is what triggered the diagnosis in the first place, asked me a few questions and was on his way.  Not sure what I expected but it seemed the last doctor was just more engaging I guess?  That being said I have had more stiffness in my fingers and still having stomach issues.

My sister sent me a text yesterday saying "27 days" That is just crazy.  When we made the plan to go to NYC it seemed like the date was so far out.  I made a hotel reservation with the plan on making another closer to the date using my points.  I knew I had travel coming up and wanted to make sure I had as many points as possible to cover the stay.  I didn't pay a lot of attention because I knew I was going to cancel the original reservation.  Well when I went in to make the reservation a few days ago I accidentally hit the Hilton Garden Inn instead of the Hilton Times Square and tied up the points at the wrong hotel.  I got that one cancelled but had to wait for the points to process back into my account.  I looked at the reservation I had and the total for the hotel was over $1,500 for 3 nights.  Now don't get me wrong, I love to be bougie but I am not about to spend more than my house payment on a 3 night stay!!  Luckily I got it fixed and had enough points for the stay and 2K left over.  There will be a resort fee but I can live with that!!  I didn't really expect to get enough points to pay for the entire stay but fell so much better that I did.  Especially with Dennis not working.  I almost cancelled the entire trip but he insisted I keep my plans.  He got unemployment and is going to try to get on disability.  We really don't mingle finances much anyway.  

Baby Daddy is becoming a fixture at my house.  Dennis is getting really attached to him.  I teleworked yesterday and he came really close to following me in the house.  He has not been tested for FIV or any of the other diseases 'feral' cats can carry so I really don't want that to happen.  If we decide to try and integrate him, we will get him tested.  We obviously don't know how old he is but he is really starting to settle in and wants to play a lot.

He is also less interested in food and more interested in attention.

He was at the door when I left this morning.  

I finally took Olive in to my vet to get her shots.  Even though we treat the animals for fleas and ticks, fleas have been a serious issue this year.  We have never had this problem but we have never had a stray cat living at my house either.  Poor O has been so itchy at the base of her tail that just touching it will cause her to react.  The vet said that Frontline and Revolution isn't working like it used to and put her on Bravecto.  Since she had never been to my vet we had to get her seen and weighed (12.6 lbs) before they would let me have it as it is prescription.  This is the first time I have taken her out of the house since we brought her home just a little over a year ago.  She is usually so quiet but she let me know she wasn't happy with this plan at all.  She really did well but she was so mad at me when we got home.  She still wanted to be in the same room but as far away from me as possible.  I guess she got lonely because the next day she was even more clingy than usual.  I got cold so I sat in the chair and covered over with a blanket to work and she decided she needed to be in the middle of my work.

My little assistant 

I would have never thought that I could ever love a cat as much as I love that girl.  She didn't even want me drinking my water, she wanted me to have my hand on her.  The vet tech asked me what Bai thought about her and I told her that they are typical siblings, he doesn't want to share and if he is sitting with me he will let her know it is his turn.  Oh to be the pet of any of us.  What a life.  

Food has been hit or miss this week.  For some reason Wednesday I felt really hungry.  I had an onsite meeting that provides lunch and they catered deli boxes.  I ate about half of the sandwich and a few chips.  Later Dennis asked if I wanted to eat and I told him that I was oddly starving.  We went to a Tex-Mex place and I ended up eating a couple of chips with salsa, one corn tortilla, and one chicken enchilada.  I really went in thinking I was going to clean my plate but that is still better than normal.  Since then my stomach is doing it's usual game.  I wasn't hungry at all yesterday.  About time to go to bed I swore the trash smelled.  Dennis said he couldn't smell it but it was to the point that it was making me gag.  There wasn't much in the trash and the only thing that could have smelled was the can of cat food we had fed the cats just a few hours before,  but we got it taken out.  I slept like crap last night and O was pretty upset that I wanted to sleep balled up and not flat on my back so she could sleep on my chest.  I had dreams that I couldn't wake up, that I was at work and couldn't hold my eyes open.  It has made for a brain fog of sorts today.  Stomach wasn't much better this morning as I got the ick brushing my teeth.  It is about 10 am now and I am still not even interested in the thought of food.  All week I was looking forward to going to lunch at a bbq place by my office for lunch today but I'm thinking that isn't going to happen.

We got a message earlier this week looking for volunteers to work remote for Hurricane Lee for one of the New England Districts.  I said I would do it but I don't think anything will come of it, the hurricane mission, I mean.  They ended up getting someone closer to the impacted area.  I probably make almost as much from per diem as I do the OT so my first choice is to do a TDY but I won't turn down 44 hours of OT a week.  It is getting close enough to the trip that deploying would be risky.  They like us to do 30 days and the way our system is set up we don't get true time and a half until we work the 31st day and then it is for the entire period.  I don't pretend to understand it but I do work my ass off so they ask me to extend so I get that fema $$$.  

I broke down and ordered some clothes from Shein.  I am not a big fan but I don't want to spend a lot on clothes that I probably wont be able to wear for long.  I thought about signing up for NUULY, which is one of those closet rental type places but I just can't bring myself to do that.  Besides, if I take any of those clothing items on a checked bag and they lose the bag am I responsible for the replacement cost?  I think I would rather do Threadup and fast fashion.  I went to the mall and got some jeans on sale at least.  I normally buy jeans or Sam's but they don't carry my size and again I don't want to spend a fortune on stuff knowing that the weight I am at is not sustainable long term and as soon as we figure out what is causing the issue I will no longer be able to wear it.  Dennis told me to shop in the kids department because I am short and the stuff is cheaper.  That might not be a bad idea.

That being said, my weight has been holding around 95.

Ok, my computer has decided to not recognize the wireless keyboard so I am going to go office space.... 

Bi-coastal travel hell

The last few weeks have been more than a little hectic.  I have had more than my share of delayed flights and horrible rental car experiences.  I have vowed to drive to just about any location that is 8 hours or less away.  However, for now I am ready to stay in one place for awhile.  

The first hell trip was to Lake Sonoma, about 2 hours north of San Francisco.  I planned my flight for the afternoon so I wouldn't hit SF traffic on the way from the airport.  My first flight was more or less on time but we got delayed in Phoenix.  My flight was supposed to be in at 8:30 but that didn't happen.  
When we finally landed and got to the rental car counter it was a 2 hour wait for a rental car.  Last time this happened I was able to just uber because the meeting was just a few blocks from the hotel, I had no choice but to wait here as I was staying in Santa Rosa 2 hours away and the meeting was another 30-45 minutes north of there.  By the time I got the rental car and made it to the hotel it was almost 2 am.  I sent a message to a girl I know in the group and told her that I would most definitely not be there at 8.  I don't trust the people over this program to not try and throw me under the bus though so I think I was maybe and hour late at most.  I was very cranky.  

The area is really pretty.  For some reason I really like that part of California.  I didn't expect to have fun but I did.  I met up with someone that was new to the group and her and I got along really well and split off from the old hags and did our own thing for the most part.  We did go to a group dinner the first night at a place called Stark's.  I got a steak salad and the steak was so tender!!  I am not a leftover person but I took what was left and had it for lunch the next day and it was just as good.  There were enough of us that we had to split up and sit at three different tables.  I don't know how I got so lucky but I sat right across from the old hags aka the toxic twins.  It shows on their menu that they don't split checks and that there is a service charge for back of house.  As far as I'm concerned I was ok with that.  Apparently the hags saw the other tables get separate checks and thought they got better service than us so they weren't going to leave the waiter a tip.  I was furious.  I sat next to my new friend and we made sure he got at least 20% from us.  I don't like tip culture but I hate cheap hags that look for a reason to stiff their waitstaff even more.  I ended up using what little cash I had for that.  On my way to the airport I got 2 alerts that my debit card had been used twice at a Panera in CA somewhere.  I called the bank and they reversed the charges but they also cancelled my debit card, that left me with very little money.  Thankfully I had brought my personal credit card and was able to use that and just pay it from the bank account immediately.  The whole thing was just a nightmare.

 

The area is absolutely gorgeous.  

Wednesday  we got out of the meeting a little early so me and my new friend ran back to the hotel to change clothes and eat at Francis Ford Coppala's winery.  It wad very pretty there too.

The food was pretty good and we had a great time.  

Thursday we wrapped up about noon and most of us were driving back into San Francisco and staying the night there to be closer to the airport.  I dropped off the rental car so I wouldn't have to pay to park it at the hotel.  As I was about to get off the tram I realized I left my work phone in the rental car so I had to get back on the train to see if I could get it.  I bumped into Kat, the new friend from the meeting.  If I hadn't I am not sure if I would have done much but we ended up going to eat and hanging out.  We had some great Peruvian food.  Oh, and on my way to the airport I stopped at the Fluevog store on Haight and bought some shoes 😏

They shipped them back for me so I didn't have to make room in the suitcase.  

I took the 6:30 am flight out and made it without any issues.  

I got to sit at home 3 days before hurricane Idalia interrupted my plans.  Monday I got an email asking if I could be in Florida the next morning for the strike team.  So, I started washing my EMO shirts and digging out my deployment ready bag.  The new team I am on is a lot different than anything I am used to, we set up the orders for people to deploy and manage that whole mess.  Luckily Idalia turned out be be a bust for the most part so I wasn't thrust into the role to figure it out along the way.  I ended up flying back home on Saturday.

Again, the flights were terrible.  My original flight was supposed to take off at 1 but they kept pushing it back.  The third time they delayed it I called the travel agent through work and just rebooked on a different flight.  The first flight was fine but there was a maintenance issue on the second flight (fire extinguisher) and they had to sign off on it to fly with that malfunction.  Once they got that taken care of people were getting up out of their seats so we couldn't take off.  We were more than 2 hours late coming in.  We landed a little after midnight and the guy at the rental car counter pretty much told me I was shit out of luck because the car reservation was for the previous day and he couldn't get it to pull up and he was going home.  I ended up just going to the Hertz counter and getting a car through them.    Again, I get like 3 hours of sleep before I have to be out the door for work.  Luckily the hotel was 3 blocks away from the office.  I did drive that first day though because the hurricane was going to hit that day and we had no idea what to expect.   Idalia ended up being a bust, good for the residents bad for my bank account and I was heading home on Saturday, so I wasn't even there a week.  Since my vacation starts October 12 I think I will be stuck at home again if we do get something significant making landfall.  

I got to leave a little early on Friday and went to Jax Beach.  My flight home was in the early afternoon on Saturday so I found a shopping area that was really neat.  It was going way too smooth, flight was on time from Dallas to Tulsa and it looked like we were ahead of schedule to land.  We were all loaded, doors closed, aaaannnnnndddd mechanical problems that if they could be fixed wouldn't be fixed that night.  I called the travel agent again but as she was looking for alternative flights they came over the intercom and told us they found another plan and we were going to have to move gates/planes. 

I think we were an hour and a half late landing.  Not too bad all things considered.  I was so freaking tired though.  My mom went to my sister's house on Sunday and I took her a watermelon and she made sure to tell me that the dark circles under my eyes were terrible.  Thanks mom.  

I was supposed to go to St. Paul next week to plan out a curriculum for a new training one of the teams I am on is developing.  We decided to do it in person because nothing really gets done on webinars.  The full team isn't on the sub-team and there were only 3 of us that were going to go.  We figured with that few of us we should be able to adapt to virtual.  We are going to give it a go.  The thought of renting another car and being stranded while they clean cars or whatever they were doing is just enough to cause major anxiety.  Our FY starts in October and more than likely we won't be traveling much.  

 

            

feeling human

 I am really going to try to do better at blogging.  I don't why but I just fell out of the habit.  

I am feeling better, I just woke up one day and it was like a switch was flipped and I felt human again.  Still struggling with my appetite but I am eating at regular intervals.  Weight was up to 95 on the dot.  

Saturday I did the weekly tip to my mom's.  It was raining and unusually cooler than normal.  We went and got 2 watermelons.  I told the guy that he has created a monster and I have a two melon a week habit.  I got an orange and red and he picked out two of the larger ones and told me to see if those last me a little longer.  The orange is already gone.  He did say he will be open until Labor Day so I won't go into immediate withdrawals.   We are never on that side of town but it is a few miles away from the organization I volunteer at.  There is a smoked baked potato place that I love so I took my mom there.  I was shocked that she really liked it.  She is so hard to please.  She wanted to see if she could find something new to wear for her birthday dinner so we went to Dillard's.  It was sparse.   I don't know how they are still open.  I found some bath towels on clearance and my mom found a pair of pants she liked.  We ended up going to Marshall's and hit the mother load on clearance.  We didn't realize it was tax free weekend and the line was LONG.  Luckily it moved really fast.  

Sunday morning I noticed Truman had a hotspot.  Dennis had left to go to his mom's.  I called and told him I was going to give Truman a bath and take him to urgent care.  Dennis came back home and said he would do baths because he didn't want me to overdue it after the drama of a couple of weeks ago.  We got him in the tub and he was infested with fleas!  It was bad.  We have never had a flea problem and they are on Frontline so it never occurred to us.  In the passed we did Bravecto and it worked well but they didn't like the taste so we had to force them to eat it.  I decided to try topical instead but we are going back.  Both of the boys got good baths and I gave them the last tube of frontline and ordered more of the oral meds.  I went to Petco and got some Capstar that is a short term flea treatment and some topical for the cats.  I am sure the stray cats are to blame.  That and the strange weather we are having.  I felt so bad for not noticing sooner.  They are acting much better now.  

Once we got the flea issue taken care of I decide d I to go see Theater Camp.  It was pretty funny.  Same old story line as most camp movies, broke ass owners having to save the camp from big bad.  But, there were some really funny and cute scenes.  

Monday was an office day and I am so swamped I hardly had a chance to come up for air.  For some reason everyone was being extra loud and it was driving me up the wall.  I found a good podcast (Behind the Bastards, Clearance Thomas and Dr. Phil episodes) and tried my best to tune it all out.  

After work I decided to go to dance.  I hadn't been in a few months.  I was disappointed that the girl that usually teaches has a conflict and won't be teaching through fall.  The lady that taught was a little chaotic and her warm up and across the floor stuff was just odd to me.  But, the routine she taught was very musical theateresque and a ton of fun.  The owner was there and I said hi briefly but didn't really talk to her.  I am still a little salty over her pretty much ignoring me until she wanted something from me.  I realize I really miss it though.  I plan on going to the heels class on Wednesday night if things stay the way they are with me feeling good.

Tuesday was my Mom's birthday and we had reservations for dinner.  My little sister's boyfriend's birthday is the same day and he came in and ate with us.  Both of my sisters and their SO's came and I know it meant a lot to my mom.  I think Dennis kind of balk at the prices, he isn't one for fine dining so I wasn't surprised when he ordered the cheapest meal on the menu.  His idea of fancy is Carrabba's.  He did go in on the seafood tower with lobster, shrimp, crab and some other stuff that would put me in anaphylactic shock, so he did splurge a little.  I am allergic to shellfish and my mom isn't a huge fan so we got onion rings and split them.  He got a burger, I got stroganoff with house made pasta and prime rib tips, mom got salmon.  I ate enough that no one commented on me not eating so I take that as a win.  My sister's boyfriend was not at all what I expected.  He looks a lot like her ex-husband even if my mom swears he doesn't.  He also doesn't have the fuck boy attitude she had been drawn too.  They have been together since December so I guess it is serious?  

 

I wore heels so I didn't look like a munchkin.  

The rest of the week was pretty dull.  Friday afternoon I got my first official advocate call.  They had someone they were finishing up on that they said they just didn't think about calling me on but they had one coming in that they thought would be a good training experience.  I got there as they were finishing up with the first case.  I didn't know anything about the case coming in except they were coming from a town a couple of hours out.  I didn't think much of it but learned that the victim was a male prisoner.  That was interesting.  He said he was trying to protect his 'roommate' and from what I picked up I am 90% sure the roommate was in for some kind of crime against kids.  It was an interesting first case for sure.  

OK, I have to head out.  Next week I will be in California for a work meeting.  I kind of hope we get a call needing help for the fires in Maui.  I figure it would be a week or so before they can really start to even think about that since a lot of the area is destroyed.  

 

Catching Up

 I have kind of fell off the face of the earth.  Lots of stuff going on but nothing of interest to the outside world and not really sure where to start.

Guess I will start with health.  I have mentioned the last few posts that I have been losing weight and having problems with my appetite.  It kind of came to a head a few weeks ago.  I went to work but couldn't make it to my desk without sitting down to rest.  I stayed at work a few hours and decided I was just too tired to deal with it.  It took me a few hours to work up the strength to get back to my car.  I had to sit down three times and seriously thought about going into one of the other towers (our office in a a series of 3 towers, one of which is a private hospital without any urgent/emergency department).  I got to my car and went straight to urgent care.  I parked and walked in and immediately started dry heaving.  I had barely eaten in a few days.  I had tried but it made me very sick.  They got me back really quick so I hate to think how bad I looked.  When the doctor came in she asked me if I knew someone named Jen.  Turns out she is my cousin's SIL and her brother was the preacher at my dad's funeral.  She was very thorough and did blood, x-rays, EKG, and a urinalysis.  At one point she told me to go home and get some rest and she would call me with results because it was going to be over an hour for one of the tests to come back.  She called me and told me that I needed to come back by and get a CT scan.  Long story short I was a hot mess.  My blood sugar was 60, my heart rate was 125 and showed signs of left atrial enlargement, I showed signs of dehydration but with the heart issues she didn't want to give me fluids (?), and whatever she saw on the x-ray that made her order the CT scan.  They suspect gastric outlet obstruction.  So here is my issue, she wanted me to get a scope done to my stomach but my gastrologist blames everything on the old lapband.  He sends me to the bariatric surgeon who says there is nothing wrong and doesn't need removed.  That means insurance won't pay for it.  I am 100% on board with getting it taken out but not with having to empty out my savings to do so.  I have a roof and a privacy fence to pay for and I just can't right now.  FYI, my weight was 93 at urgent care.  I look like a deflated balloon, even the skin on my legs is just saggy.  

Work is insane.  We are doing audits on traffic counters, which is just as exciting as it sounds.  It is 105 outside and the whole process is miserable. I took most of last week off and now I am super behind.  I have to find time to get about 10 lakes done before October.  A few of these are 4 hours away so it requires travel.  My plan is to go into the office Monday and get a final schedule hammered out. To add to the fun, while I was on the first audit on the lake on the TX/OK border that required multiple days and a week away from home and Dennis called and told me that he got terminated because he turned them in on the employee relation line.  Total retaliation but probably not something you can prove and not sure it is worth hiring an attorney over.  I saw his evaluation and it was really great, not to mention the times he was mentioned by name on google reviews.  I am so stressed out.  I haven't told anyone but you guys and my bff.  When he got laid off I did everything for him as far as unemployment but I am not taking that on this time.  He is a grown ass man and he can figure it out on his own.  I don't need the addition pressure right now.  It has been 2 weeks and he still hasn't filed.  He is on daily pain medications for his back pain and with the stroke I think it would be worth it to try and get on disability.  Again, it is up to him to look into.  I have several people I work with that supports their entire family on my income so I could do it.  He is a saver and probably has the first nickel he ever made so he will be fine until he figures it out.  

I have finally got the cat distribution system worked out.  Frankie, the little siamese went to live with a girl I am friends with on FB.  She stayed with us for about a week.  I just couldn't take on anything else right now.

The long hair tabby was a little bit more complicated.  When Frankie was around the two male tabby's were relentless.  I posted on the neighborhood FB site asking if anyone knew who the cats belonged to.  Apparently the long hair cat is a 'neighborhood' cat.  He was in pretty bad shape as he had been fighting with the other cat to Frankie.  He was really sweet and just wanted to be loved on.  It took over a week for the 'owners' to respond, when they did I told them that we had vouchers to get the 3 cats fixed.  She threw a little fit about how she didn't want him neutered.  So I pulled a fuck around and find out and got the cat treated by a vet and neutered.  I posted him on a Main Coon site because I obviously couldn't put him on FB.  I got an email the next day with some lady from freaking Wisconsin and she wanted to drive down that week to get him.  I did a little research on her and the fact that she was willing to drive 11 hours to get him and the fact that he need to get as far away from this hood as possible.  They will never find him.  He had no chip or collar so fuck them.  I told the vet before they did any of the procedures and she agreed with my sentiment.  By that time he had already been fixed and we released him back to the neighborhood, I wasn't about to let them piss all over my house.  Crazy Lady started driving down to get him before I even had him back in custody.  Her and her son stayed at some airbnb and I told her that I had no idea when he would be back.  They stayed for an extra night and I gave her the location of the park by my house because I wasn't about to give this psycho my address and they said they were going to come and look for him.  Just as they were about to call it quits he showed up on my door.  I crated that bastard up and took him to the park.  He was on his way north in less than an hour later.  She has since emailed me freaking out because he had a flea.  I told her that he had been treated with Revolution but they had to bite him to die.  When I say she was apeshit.  She gave me this long story about how she got fleas in a newish care once and it got infested with fleas and she had to just scrap the car.  She sent me an email today telling me that she had to get a second job to be able to afford vet bills and gave me a list of all the things he needed.  I didn't have an adoption fee and bitch drove 11 hours to get a cat and she can't afford vet bills?  I sent her a message back saying yup, pets are expensive and we were taking care of 3 strays in addition to my pets.  I'm not sure if she was wanting me to offer her money but that isn't going to happen.  At least I know he is getting vet treatment.  The last cat, we call him baby daddy, is still hanging around.  He was the most feral and is just now letting us get close to him.  Yesterday he decided he would rather have scratches than food.  I almost yeeted him to the sun at one point for holding down that sweet little Siamese to mate.  She was not wanting any part of it.  And as I said last time she was pregnant when they spayed her.  He has been neutered too so at least we don't have to worry about that.

So, I woke up yesterday and felt much better.  I have been able to eat without getting sick and am trying to eat small meals to keep my blood sugar up.  I have also started back on betablockers for my heart rate.  I attribute my miracle recovery to watermelon 😛 For the last few years we have been buying watermelon from him and when I say they are the best I have ever tasted, I mean they are THE BEST I have ever eaten.  We have gotten 4 from him in the last 2 weeks.  I finished off the orange meat this morning and will probably polish of the red tonight.  Tomorrow is his last day selling so I will have to ask him how long they will last if we don't cut them.  I very well may cry next weekend when he is gone.  

Tomorrow I am going to go get my mom and go to melon fest - yes that is actually a thing, and out to eat.  Her birthday is Tuesday and we are going to take her out to a steakhouse.  My little sister has been dating a doctor and my mom is eating that shit up.  Anyway, for some random reason he invited my mom to eat dinner with him at Outback 👀 some rich doctor he is.  I have reservations at a place called Prhyme and my older sister and her husband is supposed to meet us there.  My older sister is the golden child so set and match.  I win birthday this year.  It will also give us a chance to talk about the NYC trip.  

Sunday I plan on going to see Theater Camp.  I plan on going by myself but I have a feeling Dennis will decide he wants to go.  He never turns down popcorn opportunities.  I have a feeling with all the strikes in the entertainment industry this might be one of the last movies we see in the theater for awhile.  I really want to see Oppenheimer too but I am not so sure about a 3+ hour movie.  They say it was filmed for a specific type of screen but we don't have one locally not sure if I would notice a difference anyway.  

I have done a little stress shopping.  My favorite shoe store had a sale so I had to help stimulate the economy.  

These were the ones I wanted but I ended up getting the beige combat boots and the top green ones.  I already got the boots and they are too small.  The other pair are supposed to be delivered today so I can try them on.  I am really bummed the boots don't fit.  The website says they are out of my size 😭 When I get the other pair I will see how they fit and call the closest store, which is in Dallas.  I would love to roadtrip to the store but I will probably ship them back and hope they can find some in my size somewhere.  They also have the boots in green and orange so if all else fails I will get another color.  

We got our broadway tour season tickets and purchased tickets for the add on limited run of Book of Mormon.  I wasn't sure if I would be able to go as the show was last week in the middle of my health crisis but I am so glad I powered through.  It was the funniest thing I have seen in a very long time.  5 stars recommend highly.  That was the show I wanted to see while we were in NYC but they had already seen it so I'm glad we were able to catch it.  

Alright that's about it for my dull life.  

quickie

 

Things have been a bit hectic.  The ordeal with Bailey turned into a big deal.  Turns out B was due for his shots in January, which is when we were dealing with FIL stuff.  We had to board him for the remainder of the 10 days (5 nights)  I was beside myself, I felt really dumb for letting that happen and like I had really let him down.  I picked him up Monday and he is starting to act like his normal self.  Honestly, it was probably harder on me than it was him.  I don’t think the neighbor will sue, fingers crossed. 

Had my first appointment with the new therapist.  She seems fine but it is too soon to tell as I felt like the entire session was me trauma dumping on her from all the stress I have been under.  I scheduled an appointment at my primary doctor for the next day to see about changing my anxiety meds and to see about my weight loss.  He thinks they are connected and gave me some daily medication and one for acute anxiety.  Both him and the therapist made the comment that sometimes just knowing you have that will help.  It is a fairly low dose of Valium, which I have never taken before.  So, my current weight is somewhat problematic.  On his scale it was right at 100 and at home it showed around 98.  The daily anxiety meds have been making me nauseous so that doesn’t help.  I forced myself to eat a half a peanut butter sandwich yesterday but that was about all I could stomach.  I have to figure something out.  I wouldn’t mind staying around this weight, but I know it will not be sustainable once I get everything lined out.  Who would have ever thought I would have that problem? 

My mom is going through it right now too.  She took her little 2 pound dog to the vet a few days ago and he had a heart attack and died while they were doing blood work.  She feels so guilty.  I told her she was 100% not to blame, she was trying to make sure he is healthy (spoiler alert, he wasn’t).  She is taking it really hard.

In other animal news I found Frankie a home and I thought all was well until I got a message yesterday saying their other cat was really aggressive towards her and they weren’t going to be able to keep her.  So tomorrow me and my mom are going to go get her.  I guess we will try and introduce her to my herd.  I’m not sure how that is going to go.  I am going a work trip next week so the timing couldn’t be worse.  I tried to talk my mom into taking her but she said no way in hell.

For the first time since I have lived in my house the fireworks om the 4^th didn’t sound like a Russian invasion.  I think the huge brush piles at the curb dissuaded most rational people from going overboard.  They finally issued a state of emergency and I applied for a disaster relief loan through the SBA.  The interest rates are like 2% so it’s worth a try.  I need to replace my privacy fence and my roof among a few other things.  I don’t know how long that will take to review.  I am a little concerned that I will take a hit on my credit report, which I have been really working on lately.  That was fast, I already got an email that I was denied.  I will have to call and see what the deal is but I’m really not surprised.  I am not sure what the criteria is but if nothing else going through it will help me at the next hurricane mission.