Back again just in time for TTT

1.  I got a new tattoo!!  I always said if anything ever happened to Hunter I would have some of his ashes mixed in with tattoo ink and have one done. 

 

For some reason I don't have one of the final product.  He did a baby blue background, he pointed out that the background looks like the sihloutte of a dog.  I just got it Monday so it is still a little ugly.  I will get another picture of it when it is healed.  FYI, if you have a desk job the hip may not be the best place to get inked. 

 

2.  Dennis is NOT happy about the new art.  It isn't my first but I didn't tell him about the others I just showed up with them.  He told me that he was ok with it but I think he thought I would change my mind.  I haven't said anything to him about it and he hasn't asked.  I am going to see how long I have it before he finally sees it.  It is in a place that can be easily hidden.

 

3.  I think my luck is turning around.  Since last I posted I got furloughed for 3 days due to the government shut down...but got back pay!!  Lost the Uncle that raised my dad.  He was almost 90 and was miserable.  He was a very active person and had been in a wheelchair for a couple of years.  If it had been up to him he would have passed when he lost his mobility.  Although it was rough, I know he is in a better place.  Now Hunter has a lap to sit on.

 

4.  This Sunday would have been Hunter's 13th adoption day.  I have been emotional all week, I am sure hormones don't help.  We are supposed to do something but we haven't really pinned anything down.  I know it will be a pretty hard day for me.

 

5.  I haven't done so well on the weight loss front.  I am still around 123, which was my original goal but I would like to lose 10 pounds.  I have very little fill in my band.  I need to get that taken care of but for some reason I can't see paying $150 when I am maintaing goal.  I will email today and see what the schedule looks like.

 

6.  Finally joined a gym the first of this week.  While I was off on furlough I googled gyms to see if I could get rates and reviews and found a deal through my insurance.  For $25 a month I can go to any of the several YMCA locations in town.  Granted they aren't the closest gym but they have an awesome pool and some dance aerobics classes that aren't latin themed (so over Zumba).  I just got my card printed off yesterday because the website was jacked and my hip is still sore from the tat, also, no swimming for a few weeks.  I can't wait to try the aqua interval class.

 

7.  I have been walking!!  When I was off work I starting taking my pyr mix Libby on walks.  She loved it!!  Now she demands a walk before I go to work and one when I get home.  She does good on walks as long as it isn't trash day then she just drags me from one trash can to the next.  She has always been a daddy's girl so this gives us some time together.  Usually she comes home and jumps up next to her daddy and puts her head in his lap but at least she wants a little attention from me. 

 

The best thing about long walks is wearing them out!!  She is 11 so it doesn't take a whole hell of a lot.  Such a pretty girl.

 

8.  I just took a 15 minute nap at lunch.  I am pretty sure I could have slept an hour but I feel so much better.  I probably would have slept longer if someone hadn't come to check on me.  Thanks, but REALLY!!

 

9.  I am going to start going back to my counselor next week.  I haven't been since July.  I had an appointment right after my friend Marsha died and I just wasn't ready to talk so I cancelled, then I got sick for 6 weeks, then Hunter got sick and passed away.  I made another appointment after Hunter and the day I was supposed to go in was the day my uncle passed away.  I thought it was more important to spend some time with my dad who was pretty upset.  Then the whole shut down happened.  I am just now getting back to her and getting things set up.  I am sure she thinks I am a giant flake.

 

10.  Going to a movie tonight, not really sure what it is about.  Dennis wants to see it.  It is a documentary called Anonymous People and it has something to do with addiction recovery.  I am a huge nerd when it comes to documentaries so I am sure I will like it(I have the DVR set to record Blackfish, the documentary about Orca's in captivity tonight and can't wait to watch it).  I think Dennis and I could use an evening out of the house.

 

Ya know, come to think of it, it has been so long since I have been here I'm not even sure TTT is even a thing anymore....

 

9. 



http://hunterslumpycancer.blogspot.com/2013/09/leukemia-and-my-crazy-dexter.html

more bad news

http://hunterslumpycancer.blogspot.com/

Unfortunately there is no happy ending.  The vet told us we probably had 3 months but I found him dead Thursday at lunch.  We are lost without him. 








i 

New blog

I started a blog following Hunter's cancer and treatment. I will probably post to it more than my regular blog for awhile. 

SERIOUSLY?

I swear I am stuck in a nightmare. Just when I think things can't get any worse crash. Literally, I get into a car accident on my way to work. Oh, don't worry, it was all my fault so I get a $150 citation for failure to yield (I was turning left on a green and the lady going straight across from me was driving faster than I anticipated because she was putting make-up on) on top of whatever the repair bill will be. I am trying to get pictures uploaded from the new phone so I can post them. It appears to be cosmetic but I fully expect my car to blow up in the parking lot sometime before lunch. Yes both of us walked away from it without a scratch, both of the cars were driven away from the accident. I will probably get to drive Kermit around with a nice little battle scar for a long time. Regardless, I am ready to have myself locked in a padded cell and cry nonstop for a few days/weeks/months. again.

I went to my band doctor yesterday and had the fluid removed again just to be on the safe side. I don't have much in there but until I get my appetite back and the inflammation subsides a bit I want to remove that obstacle as much as I can. I know from experience that once everything is inflamed it will eventually effect my ability to eat and not get stuck. Just trying to be proactive. I need to call my GI doctor and see what I need to do to get a the swallow test booked. The lung doctor said something about it but didn't add it to the gamete of tests he wants me to do. OH, and my weight was at 121 after drinking my required amount of fluids and with my old lady outfit. I figure I am close to that 118 mark. I did get a couple of higher calorie meals down, under the recommendation of my band doctor. I took the Zofran for nausea and didn't have any issues. I am supposed to go back on drinking a protein smoothie for breakfast but that just sounds right now with the mucus taste that persists. Sorry I went there. Nothing sounds or tastes good.

Feeling human

I have been fever free for 6 whole hours!!! For the first time in a month I am starting to feel like I might live through this after all Believe me, there were times I doubted and times that I begged Dennis just to finish me off.

I got a lot of rest over the weekend. I went to Sam's on Saturday I didn't browse like I normally would, I got what I needed and left. If only I could stick to that plan more often. A normal trip to Sam's is at least $150 but I got out for $80. I have been browsing pintrest and finding lots of crock pot recipes because I know the first week or so back at work is going to be rough, it will be so much easier to have dinner ready when I get home. I should have plenty of stuff to keep us fed for awhile. When I got home I took a 2 hour nap. Guess it wore me out more than I thought.

Yesterday I was feeling ok so I went to the grocery store to get the things I didn't want to buy in bulk. Again it was a short trip but I literally slept all day when I got home. Maybe that is why I am feeling better? A little rest can work wonders.

Sunday morning and afternoon I had another fever spike of over 102. They didn't last like the others have and I haven't had any more issues. It is the strangest thing. I just hope it is over. I keep waiting to get that feeling; you know the one you get when your fever starts to get high? So far so good. I am dosing with tylenol and ibuprofen just in case.

I am finally starting to think about running again, I mean not like tomorrow but like it might be a possibility in the near future. I need to call and cancel my hotel reservation for St. Louis but I am for sure going to do it next year. I asked my dad to walk the Mother Road half with me here in Tulsa the Sunday before Thanksgiving. If I sign up on my own I know I will try and run it and I am not sure I will be ready. My dad is a walker and I might have to jog to keep up with him but it will keep me in check. Last year I PR’ed by 10 minutes and I don't want to push myself just yet. For now I am making plans for Little Rock - which I am calling the redemption run, this is the one I did 2 years ago and the guy collapsed and died as I was passing him, I helped render first aid for at least 30 minutes until they could get paramedics to him and another 10 until the ambulance got there. This is in March and I think I have a roommate lined up, I need to check with her, either way I really feel like I need a do over on this one. OKC is in April. I didn't do this last year but I will do it this year if I have to run it without any of my fellow running friends. Joplin is in May, it is also on Dennis birthday. I think he is old enough that he really doesn't care and I will home in time to take him to dinner. He might have to carry me though, something about a long car ride after a 13 mile run is hell on the legs.

The coolest thing I found is a half marathon in Yellowstone!! It isn't actually in the park but it is in West Yellowstone right by the west entrance. I have never wanted to do a half marathon so bad in my life!! Getting there will be a logistical nightmare. My parents love Yellowstone and would drive up there in a heartbeat. However, when I was a preteen and into my early teens I was forced to go on family vacations every summer with my little sister in a car packed so full you couldn't put your feet in the floor of the car. We drove for 2 weeks straight!! It was miserable; wake up at the butt crack of dawn eat breakfast ( I hate pretty much all breakfast food, the smell of eggs make me gag and pork cause gastro problems of epic proportions), stop for linner (late lunch/early dinner because it is cheaper) stay at a Motel 6 (otherwise known to a preteen as hell) get to the hotel right before dark then get up and do it all over again. Oh, plus you had to be quiet so my dad could sleep so he could get up and drive at dark thirty while the rest of us tried to sleep in the same room with my dad snoring so loud I am sure the people in the rooms around us could hear it. My mom isn't physically active so when we did stay a few days at Yellowstone we sat and watch old faithful go off 7,892 times. So, it may cost me $1,000 to fly but I am so not driving to Wyoming EVER AGAIN. Hell, I fly to Dallas and it is only 4 hours away. I think I have family vacation PTSD.

My appetite is finally starting to come back a little at a time. I am still taking a nausea pill before I eat but I haven’t had any issues!! Again, I blame the antibiotics. Dennis said if I am hungry at dinner time he will take me to my favorite dive...whose motto is eat more gravy. You can't go wrong with that!!

Tomorrow I am going to go in to work for an hour or so. Our RE attorney from Division is here and I have a lot of questions I need to ask her about a project that can blow up in our faces big time. Everyone is so in love with this multimillion dollar project that they don't seem to notice these little issues that can pretty much cause lots of problems when the sponsor tries to get credit for the work someone else is doing. Don't get me wrong, the project has the potential to be awesome but it can also get us in some legal hot water if they don't start listen to what I have been trying to tell them. I think having the big gun there might just force them to take a second look at the potential issues.

Wednesday is my appointment with the lung specialist!! I sure hope he has some definitive answers for me!!

Bring on fall

I am not around much because I feel like all I do is complain about being sick.  I mean it has been a month now, I'm calling uncle!!  When I do get on the computer it is for work and when I get home I just kind of pass out.  I am finally to that stage where I want to do things but it usually falls short in execution.  I know you guys are as tired of hearing me talk about it as I am talking about it.

On that note, if one more person at work comes up to me and tells me they understand how I feel because they aren't feeling well, they are getting punched in the throat as soon as I can muster the energy.  For one, I envy your allergy issues.  I understand it is miserable it's allergies, suck it up buttercup.  And, if you really are sick...stay the fuck away from me.  I am still having to lay down and rest in the middle of the day, I don't need your germs making me sick again.

OK, enough of that.  Well, really that is all I've got.  Right now I am working on getting an appetite back.  I am on antibiotics until the end of the week so even when I am hungry everything has that gross metalic taste.  Same goes for trying to get liquids down.  I would so stop taking the medication if I hadn't relapsed already. 

Next week I go to the lung doctor.  Not really sure what he can tell me that I haven't already heard but what the hell, I'm game. 

I have started thinking about the gym.  I let my gym membership lapse during the furlough so I think I will shop around a little.  I know there is a Gold's about the same distance as my other gym that has a pool, which I am sure will come in handy, but I have not heard anything good about it.  I haven't actually been inside so I need to go and judge for myself.  There is always the Y but the one close to me is in a really bad part of town, granted it has a nice pool, the other one is clear across town.  I went last year with a groupon but I had a friend going with me, I know I will not go alone. 

What I want is to wake up early and run when it is 60 degrees.  That isn't going to happen for awhile.  I am pretty sure I am going to have to skip St. Louis.  I am not making any decisions right now but seriously, I don't see a half marathon in me next month.  I have high hopes for finishing Route 66 in November but I don't see another PR.  I am going to call the fall running season a wash and start ramping up the pintrest training plans for spring.

Man I feel like a debbie downer.  I really am feeling better!!